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Feel free to contact me at hellokittyhell @ kittyhell.com unless you are going to ask where you can find some Hello Kitty item on this site -- in that case, don't bother because it ain't going to happen.

And if you are even thinking about whining about it, read my special message to Hello Kitty whiners.

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Hello Kitty Periodic Table

As if science isn’t having enough trouble in schools, fanatics somehow thought this would be a good idea — the Hello Kitty periodic table:

Hello Kitty periodic table

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Fanatic Film Documentary

I debated whether or not I should post this, but I decided that if the fanatics here find something to focus on rather than this blog, that can never be a bad thing. Apparently, someone thought that it would be a good idea to make a documentary film about Hello Kitty fanatics (obviously someone that has never really had to spend much time with them in the past). I assume it’s going to be marketed as some type of real life horror film. Either that or it was special requested by the Department of Homeland Security to be used as the ultimate weapon to obtain confessions from suspected terrorists. Either way, it’s not going to be pretty and there will obviously be an unsuspecting film crew that will end up being scarred far deeper than they ever imagined for the rest of their lives.

hello kitty sanrio documentary film

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Popularity: 2%

Hello Kitty Duct Tape Bra

I knew that things weren’t going to be good as soon as Hello Kitty duct tape came to existence. This was quickly confirmed with the Hello Kitty duct tape purse and then there was absolutely no doubt with the Hello Kitty duct tape dress. Of course, fanatics of the evil feline couldn’t leave bad enough alone and decided that a Hello Kitty duct tape bra was in order:

Hello Kitty duct tape bra

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Holiday Wreath

While Hello Kitty fanatics don’t realize it, when they hang a Hello Kitty holiday wreath on their door, they are conveniently warning everyone in the neighborhood the terrible dangers that lurk inside. Believe me, you disregard this warning sign at your own peril:

Hello Kitty holiday wreath

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Christmas Music Video

As if there was really a need to have one more reason to want this season to end as quickly as possible (see Hello Kitty Christmas trees and Hello Kitty ornaments if you had any doubts), this should quickly put the question to rest: a Hello Kitty Christmas music video that is guaranteed to haunt you long after the new year begins (you have been warned)

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Bow Face Tattoo

Yet another poor soul that ended up in the tattoo shop after too much Hello Kitty beer and thought this would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty bow

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Poop Paste Toothpaste

Seriously, the people at Sanrio have gotten to the point that not only are they not even trying anymore, they are actively testing to see if there is anything that Hello Kitty fanatics won’t buy. Can you really come to any other conclusion when they are willing to release a product called “Who Pooped on My Toothbrush?” toothpaste in strawberry flavor?

Hello Kitty poop paste toothpaste from Korea

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Elle Cover

You know that you really can’t take a fashion magazine seriously when they are willing to place the evil feline on the cover. You know they have gone completely insane when they think that doing a double cover is something that’s acceptable. We know that Elle Taiwan editors have guzzled the Kool Aid with their December Elle Hello Kitty magazine double cover:

Hello Kitty Elle magazine

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Bacon

When everything good in the world meets everything wrong with the world and wrong wins, the unfortunate and all too terrifying result is Hello Kitty bacon…

Hello Kitty bacon

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Heels and Tights

There is this extremely unfortunate (and frightening) notion among Hello Kitty fanatics that wearing very little clothing in conjunction with the evil feline is somehow a good thing. I think this photo proves that this notion is definitely not the case:

Hello Kitty heels and tights

The worst part is that this isn’t even a Hello Kitty costume which pretty much ensures a Hello Kitty Hellish day for anyone that has to lay eyes on it…

Left by Whitney Rose on Facebook

Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Car Interior

What is worse than a Hello Kitty car? A Hello Kitty car where you are more horrifically distressed inside it than those are on the outside looking at the paint job (and believe me, the people on the outside are trembling with fear). This is why you never let a Hello Kitty fanatic decorate the interior of a car:

Hello Kitty car interior

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Christmas Ornaments

I knew that once the Hello Kitty Christmas tree showed up in my email before December even began that things weren’t going to go well this holiday season. This feeling was confirmed when someone, for some unfathomable reason, thought it would be a good idea to send me a photo of Hello Kitty Christmas ornaments:

Hello Kitty Christmas ornaments

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Acupuncture Needles

If Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to carve the evil feline into their skin (as well as branding), I guess that it really shouldn’t be a surprise that someone would also have no issue having Hello Kitty stabbed into their back with a bunch of acupuncture needles:

Hello Kitty acupuncture needle artist

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Bullet Proof Mask

Just in case you were under the deluded impression that Hello Kitty was somehow not wanting to be on absolutely anything and everything that exists, I present the Hello Kitty bullet proof mask:

Hello Kitty bullet proof mask

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Christmas Tree 2011

Leave it to Hello Kitty fanatics to not have the patience (or common decency) to start sending me horrible reminders of what the next month is going to be like in Hello Kitty Hell. First there was the Hello Kitty Christmas tree which soon lead to another Christmas tree before the floodgates opened (which created a strong case in favor of those who believe the world isn’t worth saving). Was there really any doubt that there would be more Hello Kitty Christmas trees?

Hello Kitty Xmas tree

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Soft Taco Tortilla

One of the worst parts of living in Hello Kitty Hell is how the evil feline manages to ruin all types of food. It has already been well established that no food is off limits to her commercialization, and she once again proves that with stunning clarity. Anyone who loves Mexican food should be shedding more than a few tears over the Hello Kitty soft taco tortilla:

Hello Kitty tortillas for soft tacos

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Athletic Club

The simple fact that anyone could even conceive of this club, let alone that it actually exists, scares the Hello Kitty Hell out of me. There really isn’t any more that needs to be said about the Hello Kitty Athletic Club:

Hello Kitty athletic club members

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Sailboat

We are all well aware that the evil feline has taken over both land and air. It appears that she isn’t satisfied with these two domains and that she also has set her sites on water with the Hello Kitty sailboat:

Hello Kitty sailboat

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Ecstasy

It’s already well documented that hello Kitty loves her drugs whether it be Hello Kitty cocaine or Hello Kitty marijuana accessories. And with the way that those who follow the evil feline dress up for raves (NSFW), is it really any surprise that Hello Kitty ecstasy exists?

Ecstasy pills shaped as Hello Kitty

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Popularity: 1%

Hello Kitty Sandwich Ring

The people at Sanrio have gotten to the point that they aren’t even trying anymore. Seriously. The don’t care at all because they know that the fanatics will buy anything. I think they have even reached the point of actively trying to see if they can find anything that Hello Kitty fanatics won’t buy. There really is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty sandwich ring:

Hello Kitty sandwich ring

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Popularity: 1%