How Hello Kitty Is Ruining My Love Life

When Hello Kitty Hell exists, it does invade all aspects of your life. It’s amazing what a detrimental effect Hello Kitty can have on a man’s love life as the following example will illustrate…

My wife and I were in a romantic mood the other night. We start to get a bit frisky and my wife takes off her shirt to reveal the Hello Kitty bra:

Hello Kitty Bra
wife: Isn’t this the cutest thing?

Now, after years of marriage, I know the right answer to this question. The correct answer is “Yes, honey, it’s very cute and it makes you look more beautiful” (all single guys, write that down in your notebook). Of course, the Hello Kitty cheerleader on one side and the monogrammed Hello Kitty initials on the other make it impossible for me to say the correct answer…

me: uh, what’s that? (shocked that Hello Kitty has invaded yet another part of my hell)

wife: It’s my new bra (wife folds arms waiting impatiently for correct answer)

me: oh…(split second hesitation and instant recognition on what is about to unfold)

wife: (raises an eyebrow). Is it me or the bra? (shirt goes back on)

me: no, no , no…yes, it is the cutest thing (lying in desperate hope to save the moment already knowing it is futile)

wife (raises eyebrow higher) So it’s me, then? (goes to closet to get Hello Kitty sleeping bag for me to sleep on couch)

me: no, no , no…You’re as beautiful as ever. Much cuter than the bra (realizing instantly that the Hello Kitty trap had locked and the key had been thrown away)

wife: (both eyebrows raised) so you don’t think the bra is cute! (Hello Kitty sleeping bag is thrown on couch, bedroom door slammed and locked)

I wonder how many more nights I’ll be sleeping out here on the couch…

40 thoughts on “How Hello Kitty Is Ruining My Love Life

  1. Any idea where I can get that for a friend’s birthday? They’re totally obsessed with Hello Kitty and this would make the perfect addition to their collection. Personally I don’t see the appeal, but they would.

  2. Any idea where I can get that for a friend’s birthday?

    They are made in Japan…I didn’t see any of these for sale on ebay (as I write this), but they do have others.

    I don’t recommend encouraging the obsession because it will only mean someone else will eventually end up like me and I wouldn’t wish that torture on anyone…

  3. Man I hate to say this, but it’s time for a divorce. You poor bastard. There must be some reason you’re still together.

  4. Does your wife seriously make you sleep in the hello kitty sleeping bag often? You can’t be having that. You gotta make a stand right now!

    … ok. Here is what you do:

    Go find her least favorite Sanrio character (or any other masculine cartoon character. if you live in japan, there must be a ton of anime characters you can pick.) Then buy like a whole bed set, and some cute little figurines. and one day when she isn’t around…

    completely revamp the whole bedroom.
    and then say something like:

    “NOPE. I LIKE THIS CHARACTER AND HE IS STAYING UP. You can have the Hello Kitty sleeping bag if you want, its on the couch! :D”

    Unless she happens to own that Hello Kitty Tattoo Gun… in which case, I suggest locking the door when you sleep in your new “big boy” room.

  5. aww you poor man lol.. where did your wife get the hello kitty bra from? my girlfriend is mad for all things kitty

  6. Why would she even bother to ask the question if she didn’t want your honst answer? You accept her for being who she is, she should accept you for being who you are.

    Okinodokuni!

  7. Somehow theirs something unreal about your whole “descriptive situation”. I personally think this is a lie. And you don’t really have a wife, seriously the description is unreal. And your probably ashamed of admitting your obsessed with hello kitty being a guy.

    Shouldn’t be ashamed of that but hey! most people believe the story and like your character “wife”. Still entertaining, how someone can make a fictional situation the whole wife throws sleeping bag on couch, bedroom door is slammed is a funny idea and caricature of women & marriage.

  8. I give credit to your wife. Specifically because I am currently torturing my boyfriend with a hello kitty sleaveless hoody from Hot Topic. =^.^=

  9. ho cares if it has hello kitty on it I for one think its cute but if your a guy arnt u going to take it off any way so y do u care?

  10. What you need to say is “…and you’re twenty times cuter than any HK bra could ever HOPE to be!” then, to get into her (DEFINITELY not-right) head, maybe add something like “Doesn’t Hello Kitty appreciate diversity in the world, and let people express themselves in whatever way they desire?”

    if it doesn’t win her over, it’ll at least buy a couple second precious HK-less silence b4 she extends the couch stay.

  11. i like the lingerie and underwear, and lolgirls wear soft pink stuff not guys. but yeah whats wrong with soft sexy lingerie. the cat just makes it cute. stop crying. I’ll take her if you don’t want her (unless she’s fat….) but i’m always down to help a ladies fetish mayube you should help her before she helps herself

  12. I can honestly sympathise, your lucky only one bra. My lovely wife has at least 6 pairs of undies and a couple of bras. My 7 year old daughter has Hello Kitty panties too.

    Any passion I had is just gone as soon as I see hello kitty undies, I don’t care how comfy they are or how cute they are. I know you like them and yes you can wear what you want but don’t expect me to do anything other than roll over and go to sleep.

  13. Oh, my. I don’t know what to think about your wife. It’s just natural that guys don’t like pink cute things in… well, those kind of moments. I mean, I like Hello Kitty, and many other cute characters as well, but I would never force anyone to say they are lovely if they don’t really think that way.

    Your wife is too obssesed, doesn’t it worries you? I don’t find it normal in any way.

  14. oh come on, really? doesnt she understand you dont like hello kitty? If you tell her hello kitty kind of puts you off the mood, she cant blame you for not being in the mood, when she prings it on you…
    Hopefully that will help you avoid it ^^

  15. My boobs are to big for it so i just try to fit as much in them as i can my boy thinks i look sexy with my nipples showing lol

  16. hehe.. my man has a problem with my mismatched undergarments. His way of dealing with it is to get them off as quickly as possible so that he won’t have to see them more than he have to. Sounds like something you should do too!

  17. I don’t get it. Why does your wife get mad just because you don’t like the bra? I mean, people in a relationship can have different tastes and likes, right? They don’t have to agree on EVERYTHING, do they? My GF likes HK, but knows that I don’t. I accept that she does, she accepts that I don’t.

  18. Dude your wife is selfish. You can’t be forced to like hello kitty. I’m an 18 year old female and I say put your foot down and tell HER to go in the bloody sleeping bag if she likes hello kitty so much.

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