Monthly Archives: February 2007

Hello Kitty Menstrual Pantie Liners

Just when you believe you’ve seen it all, Hello Kitty reminds you that there is no bottom in the pit of Hello Kitty Hell. This, my friends, is when you know you have a true Hello Kitty fanatic on your hands. 99.9% of the population would look at these and simply say “WTF?!?” but to a Hello Kitty fanatic, something like this makes perfect sense and you receive a reply like this one from my wife: “What a cute idea, … Continue reading

Posted in Health, Strange | 54 Comments

Hello Kitty Thermometer

Now that my wife is toasty warm in her Hello Kitty heated lap blanket and Hello Kitty foot warmers, she decided that we needed to know how cold it was inside. I don’t need a Hello Kitty thermometer to tell me that I’m damn well cold (why else would I have on pink Hello Kitty foot warmers on my feet?!), but that holds little sway when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. So here is the thermometer she purchased: Actually, … Continue reading

Posted in Decor, Gadgets | 5 Comments

Hello Kitty Chair Massager

Again, an innocent comment has gotten me into Hello Kitty Hell trouble. Sitting in front of a computer all day isn’t the healthiest activity in the world and when I spend long hours typing away, my lower back sometimes gets sore. I mentioned the other day that my back was feeling the hours I had been putting in to my wife and walked into my computer room to see this attached to my chair: the Hello Kitty chair massager: All … Continue reading

Posted in Decor, Gadgets | 13 Comments

Hello Kitty USB Lap Warmer

My wife is continuing to add to her Hello Kitty computer accessories to the point that she is going to need to get a massive USB hub (I’m sure that they make a Hello Kitty one somewhere and if they don’t, it’s likely already in the works) for all the Hello Kitty gadgets. She has been in love with the Hello Kitty foot warmers ever since she got them (I just never look under my desk and try not to … Continue reading

Posted in Computers, Gadgets | 15 Comments

Hello Kitty Shower Radio

One of the worst things about Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no place to escape it. Not even the bath / shower area is Hello Kitty safe. A couple of weeks back my wife decided that we needed a Hello Kitty shower radio to place in the bath area. I can tell you that nothing quite sums up Hello Kitty Hell as having to listen to jpop music (I swear that half the singers sound as if they … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets | 7 Comments

Hello Kitty Martini

Hmmmm, it’s not often that I receive a Hello Kitty email that has me torn between this being a good thing or a bad thing (believe me, 99.9% of Hello Kitty photos sent to me are bad things). On the one hand, it is definitely not a good sign that they have started to name drinks after Hello Kitty. On the other hand, if you have to have something Hello Kitty in Hello Kitty Hell, having it come with strong … Continue reading

Posted in Drinks | 23 Comments

Hello Kitty Press On Nails

You know it’s going to be a bad day in Hello Kitty Hell when you hear the words, “Honey, do you want to see the new thing I got in the mail?” This is because you have already fallen into a trap from where there is no escape. Even though there is absolutely no intrigue in the question – I already know that it is going to be something Hello Kitty and it is going to be something bad – … Continue reading

Posted in Beauty | 31 Comments

It Ain’t Going To Happen

Don’t even bother asking, it isn’t going to happen. All your pleading, whining, and crying have absolutely no effect on me because basically, I don’t care. In fact, it rather brings a smile to my face seeing Hello Kitty fanatics whine and plead for something they can’t find (kind of like Hello Kitty Hell in reverse and it almost seems poetic in justice – my wife, the ultimate Hello Kitty fanatic, doesn’t only bring Hello Kitty Hell on me, but … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 147 Comments

Hello Kitty Pasta

Yikes…the Hello Kitty Hell food issue is fast becoming a train with no brakes. It has progressed to the point where I’m not sure there is anything I can do to stop it as my wife finds more and more Hello Kitty food that is not pure sugar. Her latest purchase to prove to me that Hello Kitty can be healthy is a box of Hello Kitty macaroni pasta. Even worse, it comes in a decorative Hello Kitty jar so … Continue reading

Posted in Food | 21 Comments

Hello Kitty Exercise Ball

I should have learned to keep my mouth shut living in Hello Kitty Hell by now, but sometimes there just isn’t the connection on how bad things will turn out when you make an innocent suggestion. Take, for example, my suggestion to my wife that we both exercise a bit more. The intention was to get a membership at a local fitness center so that we weren’t both behind the computer 24 / 7. Of course, intention means little when … Continue reading

Posted in Health | 8 Comments

Hello Kitty Snowman (mail delivered)

I’m coming to the conclusion very quickly that Hello Kitty has an answer for everything in Hello Kitty Hell. Awhile back I wrote about Hello Kitty snowmen and how I would likely have to build one this winter with my wife. While you can’t say many things good about global warming, keeping temperatures in Japan warm enough this winter that we haven’t had any snow on the ground where I live (and thus no opportunity to build a Hello Kitty … Continue reading

Posted in Holiday, Strange | 10 Comments

Hello Kitty Microwave

My wife has gotten it into her head that we need a new microwave oven. I think this is an extension of the “can we eat only Hello Kitty food” craze that has weaved itself into her head (I can tell that this is not going to end well in Hello Kitty Hell). Her only problem is that our current microwave works perfectly at the moment (she’s struggling to come up with an answer for this) — something she is … Continue reading

Posted in Appliances | 28 Comments

Hello Kitty Yogurt Maker

The thing you learn in Hello Kitty Hell is that if you complain about one aspect of Hello Kitty, it will usually come back to haunt you because Hello Kitty has likely capitalized on both sides of the issue. my wife continues to hint about trying an all Hello Kitty diet (just thinking about that sends chills down my spine) and I finally blurted out, “it would be the most unhealthy diet in the world” (note to self: don’t blurt … Continue reading

Posted in Appliances, Food | 17 Comments

Hello Kitty TV #2

I mentioned earlier that one of the few things that my wife doesn’t have that is branded Hello Kitty is a TV and that my wife was interested in the Hello Kitty Apple TV. Well, this certainly wouldn’t be Hello Kitty Hell unless they made more than one Hello Kitty TV model which happens to be exactly what they do (imagine that?). Now even a normal Hello Kitty fanatic would sit down and consider which of the two she really … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets | 15 Comments

Hello Kitty Toilet Paper

Only in Hello Kitty Hell can a man be sent to the couch for the night for using the wrong toilet paper. Now, if you are in the bathroom and you finish up only to find that there is no toilet paper on the toilet paper roll, what do you do? All normal people (ie not Hello Kitty fanatics) reach for a new roll of toilet paper and that is the end of the issue, but I knew that things … Continue reading

Posted in Decor, Strange | 46 Comments

Hello Kitty Scooter Helmet

Old nightmares are coming back to haunt me now that we have returned to Japan. I mentioned awhile back that my wife was thinking about getting a Hello Kitty scooter for errands around the house, but that potentially disastrous Hello Kitty Hell situation was forgotten when we moved to the US. Now that we’re back in Japan, the Hello Kitty scooter nightmare is once again coming closer to reality. I didn’t realize how close, however, until a package arrived in … Continue reading

Posted in Vehicle | 35 Comments

Hello Kitty Binoculars

As I have mentioned previously, when living in Hello Kitty Hell, it’s extremely important to not make the assumption that something you ask the Hello Kitty fanatic to purchase won’t come in a Hello Kitty model. This can be difficult at times because any reasonable person would assume that certain products would just never come out in a Hello Kitty model, but as you can see, Hello Kitty fanatics are far from reasonable. That means that if a company makes … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets | 9 Comments

Hello Kitty Postage Stamps

The problem with living in Japan is that there is absolutely no place that Hello Kitty can’t be found. No matter how innocent the task, Hello Kitty will be there in some shape and form. Take, for instance, a letter I wrote recently. I had the entire letter written, addressed and ready to send when I asked my wife where our stamps were (I do almost all my corresponding over the Internet by email and it’s my wife that sends … Continue reading

Posted in Money | 22 Comments

Hello Kitty Night Light

I have an especially acrimonious relationship with the “classic” Hello Kitty in Hello Kitty Hell. I have mentioned this on several occasions before that while Hello Kitty is sucking her thumb in the classic pose, I have no doubt that she is actually flipping me off. So not only does she mock me by being everywhere in our house, she is also set in prime locations to show me the finger whenever I happen by, just to let me know … Continue reading

Posted in Decor | 10 Comments

Hello Kitty Toaster Oven

Part of the problem when living in Hello Kitty Hell is that it begins the moment that you get up in the morning. If it isn’t the Hello Kitty futon (or Hello Kitty sleeping bag on the couch depending how the previous day had gone), the first meal of the day also has Hello Kitty written all over it. It probably goes without saying that the vast majority of our plates and bowls have a Hello Kitty theme (we’ll get … Continue reading

Posted in Appliances, Food, Gadgets | 16 Comments