Hello Kitty Hell

Just when you believe you’ve seen it all, Hello Kitty reminds you that there is no bottom in the pit of Hello Kitty Hell. This, my friends, is when you know you have a true Hello Kitty fanatic on your hands. 99.9% of the population would look at these and simply say “WTF?!?” but to [...]

Now that my wife is toasty warm in her Hello Kitty heated lap blanket and Hello Kitty foot warmers, she decided that we needed to know how cold it was inside. I don’t need a Hello Kitty thermometer to tell me that I’m damn well cold (why else would I have on pink Hello Kitty [...]

Again, an innocent comment has gotten me into Hello Kitty Hell trouble. Sitting in front of a computer all day isn’t the healthiest activity in the world and when I spend long hours typing away, my lower back sometimes gets sore. I mentioned the other day that my back was feeling the hours I had [...]

My wife is continuing to add to her Hello Kitty computer accessories to the point that she is going to need to get a massive USB hub (I’m sure that they make a Hello Kitty one somewhere and if they don’t, it’s likely already in the works) for all the Hello Kitty gadgets. She has [...]

One of the worst things about Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no place to escape it. Not even the bath / shower area is Hello Kitty safe. A couple of weeks back my wife decided that we needed a Hello Kitty shower radio to place in the bath area. I can tell you [...]

Hmmmm, it’s not often that I receive a Hello Kitty email that has me torn between this being a good thing or a bad thing (believe me, 99.9% of Hello Kitty photos sent to me are bad things). On the one hand, it is definitely not a good sign that they have started to name [...]

You know it’s going to be a bad day in Hello Kitty Hell when you hear the words, “Honey, do you want to see the new thing I got in the mail?” This is because you have already fallen into a trap from where there is no escape. Even though there is absolutely no intrigue [...]

Don’t even bother asking, it isn’t going to happen. All your pleading, whining, and crying have absolutely no effect on me because basically, I don’t care. In fact, it rather brings a smile to my face seeing Hello Kitty fanatics whine and plead for something they can’t find (kind of like Hello Kitty Hell in [...]

Yikes…the Hello Kitty Hell food issue is fast becoming a train with no brakes. It has progressed to the point where I’m not sure there is anything I can do to stop it as my wife finds more and more Hello Kitty food that is not pure sugar. Her latest purchase to prove to me [...]

I should have learned to keep my mouth shut living in Hello Kitty Hell by now, but sometimes there just isn’t the connection on how bad things will turn out when you make an innocent suggestion. Take, for example, my suggestion to my wife that we both exercise a bit more. The intention was to [...]

I’m coming to the conclusion very quickly that Hello Kitty has an answer for everything in Hello Kitty Hell. Awhile back I wrote about Hello Kitty snowmen and how I would likely have to build one this winter with my wife. While you can’t say many things good about global warming, keeping temperatures in Japan [...]

My wife has gotten it into her head that we need a new microwave oven. I think this is an extension of the “can we eat only Hello Kitty food” craze that has weaved itself into her head (I can tell that this is not going to end well in Hello Kitty Hell). Her only [...]

The thing you learn in Hello Kitty Hell is that if you complain about one aspect of Hello Kitty, it will usually come back to haunt you because Hello Kitty has likely capitalized on both sides of the issue. my wife continues to hint about trying an all Hello Kitty diet (just thinking about that [...]

I mentioned earlier that one of the few things that my wife doesn’t have that is branded Hello Kitty is a TV and that my wife was interested in the Hello Kitty Apple TV. Well, this certainly wouldn’t be Hello Kitty Hell unless they made more than one Hello Kitty TV model which happens to [...]

Only in Hello Kitty Hell can a man be sent to the couch for the night for using the wrong toilet paper. Now, if you are in the bathroom and you finish up only to find that there is no toilet paper on the toilet paper roll, what do you do? All normal people (ie [...]

Old nightmares are coming back to haunt me now that we have returned to Japan. I mentioned awhile back that my wife was thinking about getting a Hello Kitty scooter for errands around the house, but that potentially disastrous Hello Kitty Hell situation was forgotten when we moved to the US. Now that we’re back [...]

As I have mentioned previously, when living in Hello Kitty Hell, it’s extremely important to not make the assumption that something you ask the Hello Kitty fanatic to purchase won’t come in a Hello Kitty model. This can be difficult at times because any reasonable person would assume that certain products would just never come [...]

The problem with living in Japan is that there is absolutely no place that Hello Kitty can’t be found. No matter how innocent the task, Hello Kitty will be there in some shape and form. Take, for instance, a letter I wrote recently. I had the entire letter written, addressed and ready to send when [...]

I have an especially acrimonious relationship with the “classic” Hello Kitty in Hello Kitty Hell. I have mentioned this on several occasions before that while Hello Kitty is sucking her thumb in the classic pose, I have no doubt that she is actually flipping me off. So not only does she mock me by being [...]

Part of the problem when living in Hello Kitty Hell is that it begins the moment that you get up in the morning. If it isn’t the Hello Kitty futon (or Hello Kitty sleeping bag on the couch depending how the previous day had gone), the first meal of the day also has Hello Kitty [...]