Hello Kitty Hell

You probably assumed that Hello Kitty Hell could not get any worse, but as I have said time and again, Hello Kitty has a way of always topping herself. So it should come as no surprise that Hello Kitty Hell has gone into a completely new realm with the introduction of Hello Kitty religion. Christians, [...]

OK, it’s stuff like this that freaks me out in Hello Kitty Hell. Hello Kitty on every conceivable product I have come to accept. Turning something not Hello Kitty into Hello Kitty to sell other products? That is exactly what they have done with this Hello Kitty mannequin:

It seems like there are some that would [...]

Is it really a surprise if there are seven different Hello Kitty electric guitars that there would also be Hello Kitty acoustic guitars?

Hello Kitty Hell won’t be complete until there is an entire orchestra of Hello Kitty musical instruments, and believe me, if it is possible, my wife will find a way to assemble it…

My wife’s latest Hello Kitty want is a Hello Kitty surfboard:

No, of course she doesn’t know how to surf.
No, of course she doesn’t want to learn to surf.
No, of course she doesn’t want to even consider taking it to the beach (”It might get scratched by the sand.”)
She has determined that it would make a [...]

The thing about Hello Kitty Hell is that it will never end. Any normal person would assume that Hello Kitty would eventually run out of new things to stamp her little face on, but that is not how Hello Kitty works. When it becomes difficult to find items that haven’t already been Hello Kittified, there [...]

I knew this was bound to happen because it is, for lack of a better term, so Hello Kitty Hellish. My wife has been adding Hello Kitty computer accessories left and right: the USB powered Hello Kitty keyboard cleaner, the Hello Kitty USB foot warmers, and the Hello Kitty USB lap warmer — so what [...]

It shouldn’t come as any surprise that if Hello Kitty guitars come in several models and 7 different designs, that there are also a variety of Hello Kitty guitar picks:

I could go on a rant on why my wife needs Hello Kitty guitar picks when she doesn’t play the guitar, but we’ve already been down [...]

What’s worse than a Hello Kitty tattoo? How about a Hello Kitty Star Wars combination tattoo:

Not many things leave me speechless in Hello Kitty Hell these days, but this is one that comes close…
Sent by starkitty (via idoru45 created from this painting) who should have to watch Star Wars and Hello Kitty in combination for [...]

My wife’s friend came by and proudly displayed her new Hello Kitty tattoo. There is nothing worse to a Hello Kitty fanatic than having someone do something that would indicate in any way that they were more of Hello Kitty fan than the fanatic. My wife doesn’t often get jealous when it comes to Hello [...]

It is an extremely rare occasion when I’m sent a Hello Kitty photo that actually is appropriate to my plight:
Man, I feel for your situation. I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. While my girlfriend’s obsession isn’t on the same level as your wife’s, it’s enough to let me know the torture [...]

Thus far I have been spared my wife dressing up in Hello Kitty costumes and, as you might well imagine, don’t have any urge to encourage such a hideous idea. It was therefore with extreme disgust I found this in my email this morning:

Alexandra Roberts [flickr]
Now I realize that you look at this photo and [...]

Now that my wife is looking at adding Hello Kitty guitars to her collection, it inevitably leads to Hello Kitty guitar accessories. Since I’ve already mentioned that she doesn’t play, nor has any plans to learn to play, why in Hello Kitty Hell she needs a Hello Kitty guitar amplifier is beyond me (but then [...]

My wife has a Hello Kitty guitar:

Now, any normal person would assume that if a person buys a guitar, they know how to play or have an interest in learning how to play the guitar. This logic, however, escapes the Hello Kitty fanatic. Not only does my wife not know how to play the guitar, [...]

It’s bad enough that Hello Kitty comes in all its man-made shapes and forms, but Hello Kitty Hell gets even worse when Hello Kitty appears naturally. Hello Kitty fans believe this is some divine intervention showing that Hello Kitty is loved by all rather than the obvious truth that it was simply a grotesque mutation [...]

Part of Hello Kitty Hell is that people (especially my wife) believe that anything, if turned into Hello Kitty, will automatically be cute. Now I can see that with most things this might be able to be argued (if you happen to like Hello Kitty), but Hello Kitty fanatics take it to a level beyond [...]

It’s cherry blossom viewing season in Japan and so my wife wants to make a picnic and go view the cherry blossoms. Then Hello Kitty Hell struck with a link left in the last post that showed photos of various Hello Kitty obento creations:

I don’t even want to imagine what I’m going to see when [...]

Well, this little Hello Kitty email pretty much guaranteed Hello Kitty Food Hell for the rest of my life. Now not only can my wife search for all the Hello Kitty branded food out there to torture me with, but if for some reason she’s in a hurry or can’t find a particular food that [...]

There are things that you begin to expect when you live in Hello Kitty Hell. You take for granted that standard items are going to come in a Hello Kitty edition. If they make a Hello Kitty car, it seems pretty obvious they also make a Hello Kitty bicycle:

But Hello Kitty is never satisfied with [...]

One of the many troubles with living in Hello Kitty Hell is that every holiday is an excuse to get more Hello Kitty. It makes no difference that Hello Kitty has absolutely no connection with the event — she will find a way to be there. Take, for example, these Hello Kitty Easter Eggs:

from [...]

Well, it has certainly become a classic Hello Kitty Hell day. My last post hasn’t even been up an hour and I’m getting multiple emails that my wife can get a Hello Kitty iPod. It’s not like she really needs encouragement, you know?

And when my wife sees the Hello Kitty iPod (which of course [...]