Monthly Archives: May 2007

Hello Kitty Saved

It seems that the Hello Kitty fans came out in force to keep me from smashing Hello Kitty voting 829 to 643 to save her. This show of unity for the one without a mouth has deeply moved me and made me re-evaluate my thoughts regarding Hello Kitty. I have been converted. I now see clearly the need to protect Hello Kitty from evil people as myself that want to smash her. Since I promised to give her away, I … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 47 Comments

Hello Kitty Lego

It was a night on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag last night because I let a minor thought slip out of my mouth. I should know by now, but sometimes it just happens. My wife received an email with Hello Kitty made of Lego’s: wife: “Isn’t she cute?!” me: (under my breath) “very appropriate, she’s got no brain.” wife: “I heard that!” me: (realising what I had just done) “No, no, you heard me wrong…I said ‘she … Continue reading

Posted in Toys | 12 Comments

Hello Kitty Piano – Roll Up Style

You know that Hello Kitty Hell is getting bad when my wife wants something Hello Kitty and I think, “Well, at least it’s not as bad as it could be.” That was my thought when she announced that she wanted the Hello Kitty roll-up piano: While any normal person would take one look at that and simply say, “Why the hell would anyone need that?” living in Hello Kitty Hell warps your perceptions. My initial reaction was, “At least it’s … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets, Music | 18 Comments

Hello Kitty Floor Buffer

My wife has decided that we need a floor buffer…not any floor buffer, mind you, but a Hello Kitty floor buffer: Now, I could go into a rant about how we don’t have any hard wood floors that need to be buffed in our house, but that is probably obvious to those of you that have been reading this blog (and if you haven’t, just read a few posts and you’ll get the idea). I could also go on a … Continue reading

Posted in Appliances | 27 Comments

Hello Kitty Microscope

If anyone believed that Hello Kitty was after anything less than world domination, then this should help put things to rest. Not only has Hello Kitty started her own religion, she wants to dominate science as well. I mean, really, who in the world needs a Hello Kitty microscope?!? Of course, my wife, who has absolutely no interest in any type of science, wants one for her collection. “It goes to show how smart Hello Kitty is as well as … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets | 28 Comments

Hello Kitty USB Fish Tank Aquarium

My wife’s computer add-ons keep getting worse. Now that it is getting warmer outside and she no longer needs the Hello Kitty foot warmers and Hello Kitty heated lap pad, she had to find something else for her computer usb ports. Thus, the Hello Kitty usb powered fish tank arrived at our house today: I know, I know, cats hate water so why would anyone ever imagine Hello Kitty would enjoy swimming around in a fish tank? Just another one … Continue reading

Posted in Computers, Gadgets | 29 Comments

Nails

I don’t get it (what a big surprise there) – why do women think it’s cute to have Hello Kitty on the ends of their fingers? Some more nails that my wife “just has to have” I have nightmares about things like this…you know those ghost stories where a single hand comes after you? It becomes exponentially more scary when there are Hello Kitty press on finger nails on the end of the hand coming after you (bet you don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Beauty, Strange | 129 Comments

Hello Kitty Vibrator Tattoo Gun

If you just get out of prison and your buddies give you a Hello Kitty vibrator as a welcome back gift, what do you do with it? You modify it into a prison style tattoo gun of course: photo copyright M. Pilmer MutatoVisual.com, used with permission. I think I have figured out a way to keep my wife from getting that Hello Kitty tattoo that she wants. I’ll simply show her this tattoo gun and explain that any “real” Hello … Continue reading

Posted in Strange, Tattoo | 16 Comments

Hello Kitty: Save Or Smash

My wife announced last night that there are only Hello Kitty fans that visit this blog and my attempt to find others who are in Hello Kitty Hell or sympathise with me has been a failure. “Everyone loves Hello Kitty and it will never change!” I tried to explain that while it may appear that the readers here like Hello Kitty, it’s only a small minority of fanatics that believe that. In reality, even those who say they like Hello … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 165 Comments

Hello Kitty Vibrator

I have been trying to avoid writing about this little piece of Hello Kitty Hell for awhile now, but people keep on sending me photos and links to it so I guess I should address it. Yes, my wife does have a Hello Kitty shoulder massager – commonly known as a Hello Kitty vibrator. It happened to be one of the first big hits when she began selling Hello Kitty stuff and didn’t realize what it was actually being used … Continue reading

Posted in Sex, Strange | 50 Comments

Hello Kitty Brief Underwear

Yep, just what every guy wants – some tighty whiteys with Hello Kitty all over them: I think that these are actually made with the thought that females would be wearing them. With the possible exception of my wife who had the bright idea that they would be a good addition to my Hello Kitty boxers), I can’t imagine that anyone would actually think that a guy would want to wear them. Remember how your mom always told you not … Continue reading

Posted in Clothes | 45 Comments