Hello Kitty Darts & Cards


I should have learned by now to keep my mouth shut about what I’m thinking about getting something, because no matter how unlikely it would seem that they would make it in Hello Kitty style, they undoubtedly will and my wife will get it for me. Like Hello Kitty darts:

Hello Kitty darts

Hello Kitty darts

Hello Kitty darts

Hello Kitty darts

Hello Kitty darts

Every once in awhile, as a temporary escape of my Hello Kitty Hell, I will venture down to a local bar and let the cold beer numb my senses so I can make it through another Hello Kitty Hell day. This particular bar has a couple of dart boards and I mentioned in passing last week that I might get myself a set of darts because the ones at the bar get ruined pretty quickly. It was more a “thinking out loud comment” than a statement of any kind and I didn’t even remember making it until today when 3 Hello Kitty dart set styles came to our door.

wife: “Look, a present for you.”

me: “really?” (trying to act enthusiastic knowing that something hideous was coming my way)

wife: “They are Hello Kitty darts. Aren’t they the cutest things ever?!”

me: “um, they make Hello Kitty darts?” (thinking: who the hell would ever buy Hello Kitty darts??? – besides my wife, of course)

wife: “Yes, aren’t they wonderful? Now when you play, Hello Kitty will be on your side so you will always have the power to win. They each have a deck of Hello Kitty cards that match so you can use those when you play poker, too.”

me: “…” (thinking: how the hell am I going to explain having Hello Kitty darts to the guys at the bar and Hello Kitty cards for poker night?)

wife: “Don’t you like them?” (with the Hello Kitty disapproval tone entering her voice)

me: “Oh, yes…umm, yes…they are great” (thinking: just throw the darts at my face as hard as you can from point blank range and use the edges of the cards to slit my wrists – it would be less painful than showing up with them at the bar)

wife: “Then why are you so quiet?” (the Hello Kitty disapproval tone reaching “you’re going to be on the couch with the Hello Kitty sleeping bag” levels)

me: “No, no, no. I’m not quiet. I was just thinking that all the other guys are going to be really jealous and I don’t want them to envy me so much.” (thinking: damn, was that a top notch recovery, or what?)

wife: “If they are that envious, I’ll tell them where they can get their own. Then you can all have Hello Kitty darts and poker cards…”

So while I’m not on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag tonight, I’m dreading the next time I go out and have to take the Hello Kitty darts and Hello Kitty cards with me. It’s hard to put forth an aura of manliness when you have Hello Kitty darts in your hand or when dealing a hand of poker with Hello Kitty cards. The only positive I can see is that the other guys will probably be laughing so hard that they won’t be able to play either and I’ll win by default. Somehow that isn’t a big consolation prize for the Hello Kitty Hell ribbing I’m going to have to take…

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35 Responses to Hello Kitty Darts & Cards

  1. Impressive! Even darts are created…

  2. yet another anonymous says:

    So funny.
    You have a very good sense of writing. I wish I could write like you do.

  3. Mattski says:

    Solution: Get a set of darts that you like and use them, just keep them in your coat pocket. Then, when you go to the bar, make a big presentation about getting the HK darts. Make sure the wife SEES YOU taking them with you. Once at the bar, use the other darts.

    This will work until she wants to go with you, then you’re on your own, dood. Sorry.

    Good Luck!
    Mattski

  4. Maureen says:

    Or…

    Bring all three sets and tell the guys that, since you have to play with them, they have to play with them, too.

    Or…

    Bring them to the bar, have the guys deface them, then tell you wife that they did it while you were in the bathroom. Of course, this way, you will probably get more, but you can make a game out of it. How many ways can you torture the Hello Kitty Dart? What can you do to the Hello Kitty Cards?

  5. jenna says:

    I love Hello Kitty, but i would never subject my boyfriend to that kind of tourture. I think you should have taken the high ground and slept on the couch. We all know thats where you are going to end up anyway.

    p.s. I LOVE your blog, it always gets me off the hook with my boyfriend when i buy some hello kitty crap (yes, crap) b/c i can turn here and say “well at least im not THAT bad”.

  6. Jam says:

    Lol! I really enjoyed this one. Cute darts too!!

    My husband actually told me that the chococats I have collected are cute. I think HK & friends are growing on him. He actually has a Badtz Maru mousepad because he loved the wrist pads so much. He had a choice of My Melody, HK or Badtz Maru.

  7. Karla says:

    I would never put my husband into something like that, and mostly knowing he doesn’t like it. I love him very much to do that. I like Hello Kitty but not to the point to want everyone to like her or wear her, breath her, worship her.. you get my point.

  8. Jennifer says:

    I’m surprised your wife was into these darts. Doesn’t something remotely dangerous violate the all-loving spirit of HK?

    Well, at least you know you’ll throw those darts REALLY hard…and not worry too much if you damage one…

  9. Suzanne says:

    I think they’re cute but anyways, that wasn’t what I was going to comment on. If your wife is really angry about how you dis Hello Kitty to her (and you try to be nice about it to her face) well…. does she ever read this blog? You tear HK to pieces in this blog. Maybe that’s why you sleep on the couch as much as you do?

  10. Alfred says:

    GREAT gift! LUCKY you!(:

  11. princess31290 says:

    I’m all for hello kitty but can’t she just have her own room dedicated to the kitty

  12. Lisa says:

    Not to worry, the flights on those darts don’t last long. You can soon enough replace them with flights that are more to your liking. They are cheap, you can replace them for about $1.50.

  13. melanie says:

    It’s sad that you’re so worried about what the other guys will think. For all you know, they would secretly covet your Hello Kitty Darts & Cards. You could be the one guy in the group confident enough in your masculinity not to think twice about being seen with Hello Kitty Darts & Cards.

  14. Kellianne0073 says:

    Where can you get those? I want!

  15. Amy says:

    Ok so I’ve been reading this blog for awhile. I have a 3yr old girl who loves the fluffy kitty, I have my own small version of hk hell.

    I’ve read the post and seen the pics of your home. At first I thought, well his wife has an online store and she is keeping the stock at her house……

    Now I’m at the place that I truly marvel at the love you have for this Hello Kitty fanatic. I feel for both of you. At least you are only subjected to the crap around you, she actually BELIEVES deeply and passionately about the innate goodness of a white oval with ears.

    I feel for ya man. the next rounds on me ;-)

  16. Where can you get those? I want!

    It isn’t going to happen…welcome to my Hello Kitty Hell

  17. Nanc says:

    LOL. i love your wife.

  18. Noc says:

    no way….where do i get those?????

  19. chelsey murany says:

    I am looking for hello kitty darts and or just the flights I would like to buy for my daughters birthday on Dec 23

  20. Sorry, folks, as I have said many times before it aint going to happen – welcome to my Hello Kitty Hell

  21. Hanne says:

    Where do i get those flights??
    i can’t find some here in germany…. help!!!

  22. Elizabeth says:

    Next time you get her a gift get her something you’d like.

  23. Dreamstalker says:

    For all who actually want something like this, might I suggest eBay/elsewhere on the internet? Somewhere there must be a site that actually sells nothing but HK oddities.

  24. Noc says:

    still canĀ“t find them on the net or elsewhere…..

    anyone an idea????

  25. BELLONDA says:

    ok, seriously we just bought darts and a dart board…i thought wow that would be fun to learn but THEN I said, I bet they make Hello Kitty darts and holy crap THEY do….i am sending this link to my husband, he is going to pee his pants….this is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen…Hello Kitty Hell…woo ha ha….

  26. Jim says:

    You use your darts and let the laddies use theirs, What’s the big deal? By the way, thanks for letting me know where to get them. The manufacturer is written right on the box!

  27. wounded mind says:

    I would buy black paint. Lots of it, and use it on everything she buys for you. :D

  28. Janie says:

    where can i get these?? ive been all over the web looking for them!!!! please help!

  29. cookie says:

    okay i throw darts in a league and i just searched for hello kitty darts and I want these, lol help help helpppp can’t find any where else!!!! :)

  30. Simon shin says:

    Pls give me a link where I can get the HK darts please.

  31. Nathalie says:

    Were can i get the Hello Kitty flihgts????????
    There so cute :)

  32. Edwin Nishi says:

    Does anyone know were I can buy these darts?

  33. Kerry Packham says:

    Hi I have searched for months now to try and find Hello Kitty flights for darts. Please could you tell me where i can buy some?

    Many Thanks

    Kerry

  34. Lucci says:

    Where can I get these hello Kitty darts as a pressie for my Neice? many thanks

  35. Ssy says:

    How to get one now? With darts and card. Thanks

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