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Feel free to contact me at hellokittyhell @ kittyhell.com unless you are going to ask where you can find some Hello Kitty item on this site -- in that case, don't bother because it ain't going to happen.

And if you are even thinking about whining about it, read my special message to Hello Kitty whiners.

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Hello Kitty Build A Cake

If you live in Hello Kitty Hell, eBay is by far the worst website ever invented. Not only did it make my entire Hello Kitty Hell possible, but it constantly brings more of the evil feline to my door on a daily basis such as this Hello Kitty build a cake set:

Hello Kitty cake

Once again my wife is going on her Hello Kitty food kick where she thinks it would be a great idea to have all our food Hello Kittified. This, of course, is a nightmare within Hello Kitty Hell, not to mention a heart attack waiting to happen. Combine that with a Hello Kitty fanatic on a 24/7 sugar buzz and it’s far worse than you can ever imagine.

In the past the only thing that has saved me from the most horrendous gastronomic hell possible is my wife’s concern about her weight (if someone can invent a product that convinces Hello Kitty fanatics that Hello Kitty makes them fat, you would have the undying gratitude of every person living with a Hello Kitty fanatic) and I have my fingers crossed that this will once again be my ultimate savior. Even if this ultimately plays out, it still means several more days of Hello Kitty food like this which in itself is Hello Kitty Hell…

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Comments

Comment from Cindy
Time: April 10, 2008, 10:52 pm

looks like cookies…. I do not think it will actually hold up if it is made out of cakes…

Interesting product. Never would have thought that stuff like this actually exist though…..

Comment from Stratagemini
Time: April 10, 2008, 10:59 pm

I don’t know… It doesn’t look too bad. I mean, at least it’s not Pink right?

Maybe my judgment’s clouded because I’m sorta hungry right now, but the Concept of Build a cake, although a bit bizarre is kind of neat.

Would be better if the Cake weren’t Hello Kitty, but in this particular case it doesn’t seem so bad. I mean, you can enjoy Biting the head off Hello Kitty right? or eating her limbs and rendering her a lifeless torso. It could be fun.

Although, if all your food looked like Hello Kitty… that might be a bit creepy.

Comment from Cyn
Time: April 10, 2008, 11:28 pm

Well look at it positively, at least you can eat Hello Kitty and rip her head off, which should give you a little satisfaction in your misery.

I should get something like that to make homemade doggie biscuit for my dog and enjoy seeing her chow the kitty down :-)

Comment from Vi
Time: April 10, 2008, 11:34 pm

im hungry.

Comment from Flying Potato
Time: April 10, 2008, 11:36 pm

Who cares about the shape of a cake? It’s always going to be brown and smelly in the end anyway!

Comment from Kitteh!!
Time: April 11, 2008, 12:44 am

I’m not sure I believe I’m saying this, but I can see the appeal, for a 6 year-old that is!

Comment from Eize
Time: April 11, 2008, 3:01 am

Yeah—more suited for a big-ass cookie than cake. I prefer the teddy bear ones myself.

But I’m on a diet, so….*sigh*

Comment from Helene
Time: April 11, 2008, 3:16 am

I want it, I want it, I want it!!!
Eeeh, for my daughter (8 years), of course… You believe that, right? ;)

Comment from andophiroxia
Time: April 11, 2008, 7:27 am

It IS cute. However, with the leg assembly, I sort of feel that it would be like Shrek’s Gingerbread man. ;)

Eat it like the gingerbread man too. :P

Comment from mhkitty
Time: April 11, 2008, 7:53 am

I think this cute, which is why I sent one into him too :)
I mean this would be a cute thing to give a HK lover, right?
This is one of those things that could be deemed usable, but still kinda useless unless you really have a reason for it….
TGIF!!!!!

Comment from RenaissanceGrrl
Time: April 11, 2008, 7:58 am

You know, eventually Sanrio is going to market a large enough variety of healthy foods that you’ll have no way out.

Bask in the fact that the healthiest thing she puts out is a banana for as long as you can.

(I don’t think I could actually utter the above sentence with a straight face in any other context…)

Comment from moriyah
Time: April 11, 2008, 9:31 am

Makes me want cake.

Comment from RSKS
Time: April 11, 2008, 10:03 am

even if you did eat that Hello Kitty cake (which look like a cookie) that fact she’d be inside you would be very disturbing……

Comment from andophiroxia
Time: April 11, 2008, 10:22 am

Everyone is getting all ecchi here….

I wonder if you could make Hello Kitty like the Homo Rainbow. You know that Ween song?

Comment from Ashley
Time: April 11, 2008, 11:28 am

hmmm i guess you could get a little joy out of eating the kitties head and all but still too much work to make a dumb hello kitty cake/cookie

Comment from yet another anonymous
Time: April 11, 2008, 12:59 pm

Come on, guys. If many people are positive about this product, there is little room left for darlene to defend the product.
But I have to admit that this product is something hard to criticize.
Of course, things would be different if the cookie is pinkish one.

Comment from Stratagemini
Time: April 11, 2008, 1:17 pm

Well, as far as being Pink, that’s a matter of what cake mix you use. at the very least the cake cutters (cookie cutters?) are pink.

Still, as long as he doesn’t have to actually make the cake then eating it wouldn’t be so bad would it?

Worse comes to worst he can always use the thing to make Hello Kitty Baked Alaska. Seems like a fun food to set on fire.

Comment from kamichan
Time: April 11, 2008, 1:21 pm

Hello Kitty aside, that cake mold is actually pretty awesome. Great conceptualization!

<3 Hello Kitty anyway. (I’m a modest fan, no fanatic here)

Comment from Kelly
Time: April 11, 2008, 4:07 pm

The Japanese writing says “cookie” not cake. This is just a cookie.

Comment from VTPPGLVR
Time: April 11, 2008, 4:21 pm

u can at least limit your hkh by saying how too much hk limits your exercise & movement & thus take years from your life.

Comment from :)
Time: April 11, 2008, 4:23 pm

this is a cookie cutter…
i was actually thinking about getting it…haha…
and it comes with the shape of winnie of the pooh as well :p

Comment from Courtney
Time: April 11, 2008, 4:40 pm

erm.

thats one funny looking cake rofl.

at least you can go om nom nom into HK`s head :]

Comment from red renger
Time: April 11, 2008, 5:45 pm

tell her the cake is to pretty for you to eat and you fell like eating it will be wrong for your conection with kitty.

kitty geeks dont hear anything you say as long you say that the cat is cute.she will love you even more for respecting and not eating the kitty cake.jajajaja
geeks

Comment from Katsuko
Time: April 11, 2008, 7:03 pm

;x just bought it

Comment from Puppy
Time: April 11, 2008, 7:20 pm

oo can i eat it? XD
i’d love to make it disappear =]

Comment from Alfred
Time: April 12, 2008, 4:13 am

BEAUTIFUL!

Comment from bear_1
Time: April 13, 2008, 2:16 pm

Since Darlene has not commented on this yet, I think I’ll do her comment for her.

“Blah, blah, blah, HKH is a bad man, blah, blah, blah, HK is awesome and godlike, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, other repetitive and useless comments, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”

Well, did I get it about right? LOL

Comment from Katsuko
Time: April 13, 2008, 4:46 pm

you forgot the “any real man would be proud to eat hello kitty as she will fill you up with with love and happiness”
^^ rofl

Comment from Kitteh!!
Time: April 14, 2008, 1:00 am

:rofl: – both of you.

Comment from mhkitty
Time: April 14, 2008, 7:34 am

OMG, you guys are too funny!!!

“Worse comes to worst he can always use the thing to make Hello Kitty Baked Alaska. Seems like a fun food to set on fire.”
ROFL!!!!! Awesome idea!!!!!

Comment from darlene II
Time: April 14, 2008, 10:58 am

I would’ve known someone as ignorant as you would try to make something delicious AND cute look like crap. Hello Kitty was made to remind people how sweet life can truly be, in anyway possible. if you can’t accept that, keep it to yourself.

And bear_1, just because i dare to stand out and be a HK fan and proud instead of you clones who agree just so you won’t be mocked by others doesn’t mean i say useless things. Take a dose of individuality and call me in the morning.

Comment from andophiroxia
Time: April 14, 2008, 6:24 pm

Have you noticed that you keep coming over here screaming on how this site sucks and/or how horrible it is and no one really cares about what you say because you JUST MIGHT NOT be taken seriously as a result of you being obsessed with this site that mocks Hello Kitty?

I would call that the definition of insanity.

I am actually surprised that you responded directly to ONE of the people involved here. You must have grown some hairy nuts underneath that pink petticoat of yours finally. Or perhaps it’s that HK passive-aggressiveness of yours of being a wonderful wife always reminding, always reminding, cackling about the virtues of Hello Kitty.

Comment from bear_1
Time: April 14, 2008, 8:44 pm

I’ll be damned- Darlene actually responded to something one of us said! Has HK hell actually frozen over? Or did I just strike whatever HK-encoded nerve no one else has been able to? :D

And Darlene, you DO say useles things, because you never try to come up with any kind of intelligent argument, but say the same things over and over and over again. And most of those things have nothing to do with what we’re talking about! And for your information, I was oppsed to all this useless HK crap long before I found others that were. And how exactly are you being an individual, what with all the other Sanrio-loving crazies out there?

And P.S.- The ONLY reason I’d ever call you would be to tell you that men with HK straightjackets are coming to take you away, so there! :P

Comment from ghost
Time: April 14, 2008, 9:14 pm

oh
my
god
bear-1, i must solute you, you actually made the darlene monster respond to a comment about her, i’m awestruck

Comment from gina
Time: April 14, 2008, 10:06 pm

I don’t think that was the real darlene. She never responds to anyone and her name is darlene II. I dread the thought she has a twin out there.

Comment from Kitteh!!
Time: April 15, 2008, 12:47 am

Darlene II does show some relationship to the original. I mean, I said something positive about the concept, and that got totally ignored.

Comment from Hello Jessie
Time: April 15, 2008, 1:06 am

I like it but the legs are stupid

Comment from Alex
Time: April 15, 2008, 7:13 pm

darlene II:

I would’ve known someone as ignorant as you would try to make something crappy look delicious AND cute. Hello Kitty was made to remind people how empty, vacuous, and devoid of meaning life can truly be, in anyway possible. if you can’t accept that, keep it to yourself.

Comment from VTPPGLVR
Time: April 15, 2008, 7:35 pm

darlene II (and maybe Alex):

o.O Since when has the PRETEND picture (NOT EVEN A LIVING CREATURE) to make RICH MEN RICHER been imbued with divinity??

(To review; HK was made by MEN. These MEN manipulate a FEMALE character to give THEMSELVES a horrifically huge amount of MONEY. I think this means HK represents sexism, imperialism, and capitalism in its worst form)

If a pretend drawing, that never lived, makes life bearable, then may I introduce you to Cymbalta?

Comment from VanessaActual
Time: April 15, 2008, 9:38 pm

I think MIZ VTPPGLVR and a fw others above are angry uptight woman and men. Get over it. Hello Kitty doesnt cause liver failure. She makes people happy in a puree and simple way. Anyway Capitalism is STILL the basis of American society, if you HATE it SOOOO much, get out. Or float on a boat in international waters and get eaten by a shark. he he he

Comment from jasminethejigsaw
Time: April 15, 2008, 11:16 pm

Ok…I’m getting that for my 19th birthday… :D

Comment from mhkitty
Time: April 16, 2008, 10:31 am

@VTPPGLVR: Actually, the creator of Hello Kitty is a WOMAN… the sexism I don’t get…the rest I agree with:)

And guys remember; there are three ‘Darlenes’…. the good, the bad, and the insane….you pick which one is talking above ;)

Comment from ghost
Time: April 16, 2008, 1:50 pm

three? i count two, bad and insane

Comment from Nichi
Time: April 16, 2008, 2:10 pm

somebody wikipedia the creators of hello kitty…

actually, I think I’ll do that myself. I kind of want to know now…

Comment from mhkitty
Time: April 17, 2008, 7:42 am

There are three: Darlene, Darlene II, and Darlene (whose name appears in red) she’s the sane one we like. They’ve all appeared in posts over the last two months.

Comment from ghost
Time: April 17, 2008, 1:53 pm

oh, ok gotcha, that works then

Comment from Kitteh!!
Time: April 18, 2008, 1:15 am

MHK, the fact that HK was created by a woman doesn’t mean that the majority of Sanrio’s marketting and licensing departments (the ones I have issues with) aren’t salarymen!

Comment from mhkitty
Time: April 18, 2008, 6:55 am

I know that! I just wanted to put my two cents in :)

Comment from Rykan
Time: April 18, 2008, 11:23 am

Gawd, you all make me laugh so hard XD

Comment from Kitteh!!
Time: April 21, 2008, 1:19 am

MHK, I’m down with that. I just wanted to remind everyone where my issues actually lie, and it’s not with the Anime I’ve never seen (and feel no great desire to see).

Comment from Rousie
Time: May 6, 2008, 8:29 pm

LONG LIVE BEAR_1! you actually got her comment right the first time…

Comment from Heilo Kitler
Time: June 14, 2008, 3:44 am

There’s a book called the Hello Kitty Billion Dollar Phenomena which could make the haters weep. The Sanrio founder, Tsuji, based Sanrio on 2 American concepts, Hallmark and Disney. He worked hard on American licences to get Snoopy for the Japanese market, and later hired a female designer out of college to design Hk. She did inspired by Alice in Wonderland’s feline sketches. Good old Walt gave us Disneyana. Franchising everything, who hasn’t seen Mickey Mouse sheet, luggage, stationey, and theme parks globally? Also, there is a another Japenese cat called Doraemon which is pretty popular. Hello Kitty doesn’t have a tv station like Disney’s ABC.

Comment from Mee =]
Time: June 17, 2008, 1:15 pm

Looks Yummi :]

Comment from Mee =]
Time: August 3, 2008, 3:28 pm

At least you can bite its head off and it can’t scream…

Ahh Ha Ha.

Ha.

:l

Comment from Rei
Time: October 23, 2008, 2:28 pm

Ya know… your wife can make it a low-fat cake… Because she’s the one making it and therefore she can put whatever ingredients she wants in it right??

Oh dear if she comes to that conclusion of what I came up with… >.>;;;

Ok I better keep my mouth shut in case your wife sees my comment

But whoa… Interesting…. Would be funny if Hello Kitty was chocolate cake XD

Comment from Anti-Darlene
Time: August 24, 2009, 6:40 pm

that’s crazy.

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