Hello Kitty Pedicab

There are certain things that should never be created, and Hello Kitty has more than her fair share of them. You can add the Hello Kitty pedicab to the list:

Hello Kitty pedicab

This image scares me to no end because I know exactly what would happen if I was ever to run across one of these while walking with my wife. If I happened to spot it first, I would make amazingly heroic attempts to steer us clear of the monstrosity, but in the end, it would be useless to the Hello Kitty fanatic’s Hello Kitty internal radar. Somehow through a crowd of 500 people and behind a stone wall while facing the other direction, she would somehow sense that it was there. Once locked onto it, her hand would grab my arm in a vice-like grip and begin dragging me toward the doom. I would be struggling to turn us in a different direction, looking at my hand much like a trapped animal would: “should I just succumb to the eventual tortuous death or is there hope by chewing off my arm and breaking free?” At this point I would realise that chewing off my own arm would be many times less painful, but we would reach the Hello Kitty pedicab before I had the opportunity to take out the first bite.

While there are far, far too many things to list everything that is wrong with Hello Kitty, one of the worst is the notion that Hello Kitty and “romantic” can go together. Hello Kitty fanatics are bad with anything Hello Kitty, but if they feel that something Hello Kitty is also romantic, you might as well take out your Hello Kitty gun and put yourself out of misery.

The problem is that any indication that it’s not romantic pretty much means a week or more on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, but having to go along with the notion that it’s romantic can be even worse. Not only do you have to get into it, you then have to pretend that you are actually enjoying yourself not only to your significant other, but to all the people looking at you with pity in the deepest part of their souls as they realize that no matter how bad their life had seemed at that particular second, it is infinitely better than yours. All you can do is look back at them and know that they are correct which once again confirms that you are living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Amy who should have to endure the humiliation of having that be her transportation everywhere for the rest of her life for considering that sending this to me could be a good thing in any way, shape or form…

32 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Pedicab

  1. Just tell me where this is, we’ll put Darlene in it and BLOW IT UP!!!
    Kitteh!!: are we (you, me and Mr. HKH) the only sane ones left???
    I like hello kitty, and even I wouldn’t ride in that….

  2. I think Andophiroxia and Ghost are probably still sane too.

    Incidentally, I had a thought about the HK ammo (see HK Shotgun); from the size of the rounds, some of them were for a Browning 50 cal or a ROBAR!!

  3. I think it would actually be more embarrassing for the driver then the passengers. Driver can’t hide his/herself like a passenger can. I hope for your sake it is just a crazy fan-made thing and not a real pedicab company vehicle. If it is, then I hope they are all booked before your wife finds one.

  4. okay okay even though im not a DIE HARDCORE hello kitty fan i would take a ride in this -_- only because im 19 and its uber cutes lol like when have u ever seen one of these. Even the none hardcore hello kitty fans would look at how cute this is. You can’t admit that the girl “driving” this thing isn’t making bank from little girls to older girls she has a great idea in this case i hand it to the driver :)

  5. sorry correction hahaha oops ^-^

    okay okay even though im not a DIE HARDCORE hello kitty fan i would take a ride in this -_- only because im 19 and its uber cutes lol like when have u ever seen one of these. Even the non-hardcore hello kitty fans would look at how cute this is. You can’t admit that the girl “driving” this thing IS making bank from little girls to older girls she has a great idea in this case i gota hand it to the driver :P

  6. I could see taking kids for a ride in that.. while I chatted away on my cellphone about anything to get my mind off the horrors of being near so … much… pink.. >.>

  7. This post scares me at how ridiculous it is. If you think that you are forced to do things that your wife likes, then you don’t love her. if you loved her, you would gladly and happily do the things that make her happy. You show what a selfish person you really are when you blog like this.

    Then you completely make up what people looking would be thinking. They would be envying you and your wife for being so lucky to have the chance to ride in a pedicab like that. If you are ashamed, then it shows you have no confidence in your masculinity which is another problem that you show in your blog all the time.

    The only reason you think you have a bad life is because you have a warped view of Hello Kitty that you try to spread. But everyone can tell you have no idea what you’re talking about. You should take a ride in that pedicab so that you can learn what true happiness is.

  8. Darlene reminds me of a little girl. Oh wait. She is a little girl trapped in whatever fleshlike husk that is her body.

    Hello Kitty was designed to be cute and she’s a girl. It’s marketing, get over it as I admit that my like for Kuromi is for us rather cute and twisted girls.

    I still think that Kuromi would kick HK’s ass any day. I can imagine a Rocky-like movie where Kuromi would be like Drago and HK like Rocky Balboa, only pink. Darlene would probably be like the alcoholic father in law coach. Except Kuromi would hit HK so hard her head would spin around in a 360 without anyone ever knowing what happened.

    Oh wait. I want Kuromi to do that to darlene.

  9. that is particularly horrid. i would be embarrased to live in the same town as that thing. i would most definetly slash the tires. or light it on fire. or both!
    oh wow i am having the most wonderful mental image of watching that thing engulfed in flames and burning to a scarred wire frame and charcoal
    i think i shall be smiling for the rest of the week now

  10. Actuallky HKP, I think most of us (except Black Darlene) are pretty cool and witty, at least on line. It’s certainly why I keep coming back.

  11. mhkitty, you can count me among the sane ones, because I would never go anywhere near that abomination. Unless, of course, I was planning to blow it up…

  12. @darlene

    In order to show love, you need to happily do whatever your partner asks of you? What if your boyfriend asked you to shag a horse? Would you do it, or don’t you love him enough?

  13. I always feel so bad for you every time you get banished to that couch with that stupid sleeping bag. I can only imagine that the reason you haven’t left her yet is love and fuel for this blog.

    I personally would have been done with her a long time ago for the constant HK banishing. Not everyone likes the same thing, unless you’re brainwashed, or in a cult.

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