Hello Kitty Bruise?

It’s bad enough when your girlfriend encourages you to dress up in Hello Kitty stuff (same guy as in the photos below) and humiliate yourself, but you know you’ve reached new depths of horror when you begin to see Hello Kitty even when the evil feline is not there. Case in point – the Hello Kitty bruise:

Hello Kitty bruise

Everyone gets bruises and there is nothing special about this one you would assume unless you happen to be dating a Hello Kitty fanatic:

Hello Kitty bruise

She would encourage you to take out a pen and fill in the blanks until — tada — you have a Hello Kitty bruise:

Hello Kitty bruise

This was the explanation that came with the photos: “My boyfriend was hospitalized yesterday with severe dehydration. Today we noticed that his blood bruise from the IV site looked like Hello Kitty’s bow.”

At first I assumed the “we” meant the Hello Kitty fanatic and not the boyfriend (since my wife often uses inclusive words like “we” when describing her feelings of Hello Kitty when she should be stating “I”) and I was going to give the poor guy a break, but then a closer look at the photos bring up these questions:

Why is the guy drawing Hello Kitty on himself (with a Hello Kitty pen no less)?

How come he even knows how to draw Hello Kitty?

Why doesn’t he slit his wrists instead of drawing Hello Kitty on himself since this would be vastly less painful?

The only conclusion I can come up with is that he wanted to draw Hello Kitty on himself (shudders at the thought).

I suppose this is what happens when you give up the Hello Kitty Hell fight and decide to submit to the evil feline’s power. If anyone ever sees me do anything like this feel free to grab a Hello Kitty gun (any model will do) and shoot me. I would certainly appreciate being put out of my misery…

Sent in by Suzanne who obviously has created living conditions that are far worse than anything I could ever wish upon her for thinking it could be a good idea to send me these photos…

78 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Bruise?

  1. We were at the movies and while we were at the concession stand, he whispered to me that he didn’t feel good. I didn’t think anything of it because I knew he was hung over. I walked away from him to get a straw and the next thing I know, he’s on the floor, seizing with a pool of blood coming from his head. He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and had staples put in his head and was put on an IV for dehydration. Let this be a lesson to you all: drinking alcohol is dangerous even if you DON’T drive!

  2. has anybody noticed “marlene?”
    or “sharlene?”
    hmmm… are they just other personalities or “darlene?”
    me thinks so!

  3. Lucy and MHK, “the limelight” is an old theatrical term, referring to a very powerful spotlight used to follow the principal action (or star) in a crowd scene.

  4. @Suzanne
    way to find the fun in a bad situation… Hopefully, you’re as intelligent as I’m assuming and you know most of the stuff on here is out of jest… Sounds like you and your BF have a good balance. Hopefully he has learned a valuable lesson about the horrifying effects of alcohol.. If not, I say next time you draw HK with permanent marker all over his whole body!

  5. @Kitteh
    “Limelight” was also a dance club in Manhattan, from the early 80’s into late 90’s.
    It was an old church turned into a night club, it was pretty cool.

  6. @Kitteh!!
    I knew what it was, but thanks :)
    I was being a bit facetious, considering the tone of the remark 😉

    God Lord hon, how much did he drink???? He seems a little on the skinny side (no offence meant) so maybe he shoudl cut down a bit… or next time you go drinking you make him drink a glass of water after every 2nd beer…

  7. Thanks Catherine. I think my reference is a hundred years or so older than that in the original use, and actually pre-dates electricity!

    MKH, etymology is one of my many minor hobbies, and I took Lucy’s query seriously. If anyone’s interested, I can probably dig out a link to the original photochemistry.

    Suzanne, MHK has a point. If you pass out as a result, you have drunk too much for you! Fortunately for me, I get to the “throwing up” stage before I get to the passing out one!

  8. I have no idea how much he drank. He just said he was just drinking from like 10pm to 8am, and then didn’t drink any water after. Then we woke up the next day and went to Family Fun Center and then the movies and then it happened…. so… ya. He’s re-thinking his lifestyle. :)

  9. @mhkitty:

    There IS a god….. *sniffles* THANK YOU! *cries*

    *hugs everyone* A dream come true!!! *cries harder*

    P.S = does Darlene really HAVE a daughter? O.o

    Ouch…Wow. I feel sorry for you guys. I mean…wow. O_O

  10. Ah, so she DOES have split personality disorder…
    Anyhoo… Doesn’t just about everyone get bruises like that all the time?

  11. “Ah, so she DOES have split personality disorder…
    Anyhoo… Doesn’t just about everyone get bruises like that all the time?”

    I like barely ever bruise. You have to hit me pretty hard to get one on me. No that is not an invitation to try. ^_^

  12. Suzanne, as it happens I have done something similar, but I didn’t faint. I went to see a film, and went to sleep about 10 mins in. Maybe he didn’t actually faint, but just go to sleep and fold up as a result?

  13. as a child i wasn’t a hello kitty person, more of a my little pony girl..but now reaching the age of 17, i’ve seen enough hello kitty creepiness to last me the rest of my life. and darlene, marlene, parlene whoever you are today…you are, a truly obsessive person O.O

  14. does NO ONE know that this is not a regular bruise, it is a TRACK MARK from injecting heroin?!?! i work with people in addiction recovery and have seen this EXACT SAME mark all too many times- it takes a truly sick heroin addict to make his track marks into a “hello kitty” and act like its funny. these images need to be removed.

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