Hello Kitty Hair

While I hate virtually all the Hello Kitty email that I receive, I especially hate emails that give my wife ideas that she hasn’t thought about before. For example, Hello Kitty hair:

Hello Kitty hair

This is what ended up in my email:

Hey poor guy who has to live with a Hello Kitty fanatic that will probably be me one day and my husband will be just like you! Guess what I did?

My boyfriend cut my hair into a Mohawk for me so I bleached out the sides, dyed them pink, and stencilled Hello Kitty on them in black! It’s super exciting and it’s still my real hair currently and probably will be for a while.

This would be bad enough if my wife wanted to do it to herself, but upon seeing this and realising that her hair is black and mine isn’t, she somehow instantly thought that this would be a good project to perform on me. While I’m willing to put up with a lot of Hello Kitty crap, having Hello Kitty dyed into my hair is not on that list.

wife: “Come on, it will be fun!” (with the Hello Kitty squeal in her voice that is supposed to denote cuteness, but in reality only confirms the true depth of Hello Kitty Hell I live in)

me: silence (trying to be as calm as any sane person can be when someone is telling you that dying Hello Kitty into your hair would be something fun to do)

wife: “You’re lucky that you have light hair so you can do it. I wish I could…”

me: silence (trying my best not to contort my facial expressions to give away the pure absurdity of the comment)

wife: “Are you going to just sit there and not say anything?

me: Knowing that I should remain silent, but not being able to control the urge to say “and I suppose that you would also think it is a good idea for me to shave Hello Kitty into my hair as well…”

wife: Eyes brighten. “That’s a wonderful idea!”

me: Still not knowing when to keep my mouth shut: “I was being sarcastic…”

wife: “Why can’t you ever be serious when we talk about Hello Kitty. I’m trying to have a Hello Kitty moment with you.”

me: Head off to the closet to get the Hello Kitty sleeping bag

There are certain instances when you live in Hello Kitty Hell when it’s just better to take the medicine long before it gets to the point where you know it will eventually end up. When a Hello Kitty fanatic tells you that they want to “have a Hello Kitty moment with you,” that’s pretty much a clue that no matter how bad you thought a conversation was going to end when it first started, it will end up 1000 times worse if you let it continue…and simply knowing this fact is a true sign that you live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Lucifer-Ann who should not only have to have Hello Kitty dyed in her hair for the rest of her life, but also have Hello Kitty shaved into the side of her head for thinking that for even an instant that sending me a photo like this could result in anything but me sleeping on the couch…

45 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Hair

  1. ew! again i know ths ppl r trying and kudos to them but……..it doesn’t evn look lyk hk….. plus there hair loox really dry and frizzy….. gross

  2. @moriyah:
    There’s an old saying: ‘It’s better to be silent and thought an idiot, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt’
    I guess in this instance it’s ‘show and tell’ ;)

    (I’m secretly cringing in fear of when he’ll add my photos up on his site- I sent him pictures of my 3 HK trees…and HK work cubical)

  3. You know when that picture came up, I really didn’t know what it was at first. XD

    Hair is not good sometimes doing straight lines in–particularly when it goes a totally different direction.

  4. Looks more like an amoeba than Hello Kitty.
    @ Catherine & mhkitty06- ROFL
    @ Emily – your posts make me dizzy trying to figure out all that shorthand.

  5. I wonder if it’d look any better if the photo was decent? Maybe a head and shoulders?

    Mr HKH, to get you out of the sleeping bag, perhaps suggest that Mrs HKH bleach her hair? Then she’d have a blank slate to work from and could easily achieve a look similar to this one.

  6. You know those Magic Eye pictures where you look at them the right way and suddenly they “click” so you can see the 3D image? I’ve been staring at the pictures of this girl’s mohawk for about ten minutes trying to see Hello Kitty in it and so far nothing’s happened. I can’t even identify what any part of it is supposed to be.

  7. …why am I not surprised this came someone named Lucifer-Ann T_T

    If your wife wants to do it so much why doesnt she just bleach the pattern into her hair instead of trying to reek havoc on yours? =\

  8. @catherine
    oh sigh….. yew must have a serious attachment problem or sumthing to hold on to sumthing for as long a yew do geezes 3 words GET OVER IT!
    PEACE!

  9. Actually I went to Paris and was impressed at the English fluency there. I tried to learn some French initially, and did pick up some phrases, but I was amazed and delighted that I was able to converse with the locals in English. I didn’t expect the locals to understand and that I understood I would have to speak more French and possibly learn a lot, but it was nice that they did. HOWEVER, I did make an effort to learn their language both initially and during as well as their customs and culture. The people were very nice there. I even spoke to an English friend of mine and was very nicely surprised at the treatment there.

    What I resent in America of people who come here and refuse to learn the language. Americans are very forgiving and very helpful if you try and attempt to learn. (My parents had to pass an English competency exam from Asia to even come here.) However, I have no issue with a person that wants to learn English and will go out of my way to help them. Even some of my friends that are not English speaking and don’t live here, I am happy to teach them. However, with the people that just come over here to leech off my taxes and services and want to live in their ensonced little communities and refuse to learn English, I have no use for. I am sure it is the same sentiment in every country.

  10. @ Emily

    If you were unable to write ‘correctly’ – without excessive abbreviations, etc, then I think people would mind less. I certainly would have no beef with you. But you’ve displayed and stated that you write how you do out of laziness. You’ve also completely ignored the fact that the way you write is very difficult for a lot of us to read. Thanks for being so considerate – very Christian of you.

    So what you’re doing is what a lot of (I’m sorry to say particularly American) tourists do when they go to Europe – swan around speaking English expecting everybody else to be able to understand them.

    @Mr HK – apologies for ranting in your comments section. But I suspect you kinda dig it.

  11. I wasn’t arguing actually, I was telling from my life experience of which I think is very different from your own.

    You did mention Europe. Paris is in Europe. Where else would Paris be? I figured it would directly coincide with your point. It wouldn’t matter to me if I visited London, Reikyjavik, Oslo, etc. It wouldn’t have mattered if it was a small village. It’s the same thing essentially. People are really people. You act human to them, they will to you, because most people are fairly decent. Some will like you for who you are, others won’t. It’s life. You respect individuals, they respect you. It’s not much to intellectualize. Goodness and kindness is pretty much universally understood by good and kind people.

    I’ve travelled all over the world, and I didn’t know the language a lot of the time, but I tried to accommodate to the local customs–it’s just common courtesy, so I think that analogy stands for every foreign place everyone has been a foreigner of. No one got mad at me for being an American and I didn’t have to pretend to be not one, I just was myself. I just learned the mannerisms of each country like I was going to a friend’s house.

    Actually, I have heard from my friends all over Europe that the French have actually gotten past their stereotype of being rude and snooty. In the past 10-15 years they’ve sort of calmed down. Sure, I heard of stereotyping here, but I didn’t approach them like the “French”, but actually as human beings. I like to treat everyone as such until they give me a reason not to want to associate with them. I personally don’t believe in identity politics myself in terms of dealing with regular people. I give every regular person a chance.

  12. Interesting argument, andophiroxia, and one that many (but not all) Australians would agree with. But I didn’t say Paris, I said Europe. I didn’t say major tourist centre visiting only major tourist traps either. I think my analogy still stands, non?

    In regards to the French, yes, many of them speak good English. Maybe it was your attempt to engage with their language and culture which made the French you met so accomodating and friendly? It was the case with me. My French is horrible, but I tried my best with it, and all over France the people were extremely lovely to me.

  13. First of all Emily is probably no older than 15 years old, I think see is more like twelve. The problem is the Hip-Hop, Internet, MTV, Text Messaging generation. It also does not help the schools are teaching Global Warming, self-esteem and alternative lifestyles than proper English.
    Emily there are many adults and people form other countries pleas do use proper English. It is “are you” not ru,

  14. @ Andophiroxia

    You sound like my kind of traveller. I lived and worked in a youth hostel in the Czech Republic for a year, and was in and around Europe for five, so I’ve developed some pretty strong views on travellers, backpackers and tourists. The way you travel and are sounds like the kind of person we always welcomed into our home (unique kind of hostel) and wanted to share our city with.

    Apologies for assuming you were disagreeing/arguing with me. Character flaw :-)

  15. This is coming from a woman with blue and black hair.

    This is just, complete and total fail. Mohawk, yeah, sure cool okay I get it.
    But the shaved sides and stenciled “hello kitty” ?

    Not so much.

  16. I’ve stopped reading certain posts because I can’t figure out WTF they say….oh well…

    @ Catherine: ‘Looks like she needs an ointment for that or something.’….. Gasping for breath from laughing!

    @moriyah: yeah my dad tells me that all the time… his other favorites included telling me to ‘Wish in one hand and S**T in the other, and see which one fills up first.’ when I was younger; and to ‘Never argue with an idiot, bystanders can’t tell the difference.’ My dad is a hoot! (for you younger people that means ‘hilarious or funny’)

  17. @ emily
    I had no idea that you were a non English speaker.

    I find it curious however, that you are able to spell “serious attachment problem” but not “something” or “you”.
    If it is serious laziness on your part, yew and you have the same f-ing number of letters. YOU = the person you are talking to, YEW = some sort of tree. And seriously, Jesus has LESS letters than geezes. If you are going to use the name in vain, just do it.

    @ Acton – ever the diplomat, but all your spelling errors do not help the cause. (or was that intentional?)

  18. Not something I’d do to my head, but it’s cute. Besides, if she decides to have a ‘Not Hello Kitty Moment’ she can move her Mohawk over to cover it.

    I bet your couch is pretty worn down from sleeping on it so much.. Doesn’t it just add insult to injury that you’re sleeping under the Hello Kitty sleeping bag?

  19. @ Binks & Catherine: I blame bolgs like Icanhazcheezburger or whatever in the eff it’s called…
    I went on it to look at kitty pictures and could not read the captions to SAVE MY LIFE! Anyways, the people spell and speak the same was Emily is… just pointing it out not poking fun… I think they do it for ‘cuteness’ and not really laziness…
    (and I understand that Acton has an issue but it doesn’t stop others from using spellcheck…) I do, and I try to proofread…though I do fail at times :)

  20. Have you ever heard this, that if witre wrods wtih the mildde lteters mxied up but the frist and lsat lteters in the crroect palce you can siltl raed it whtiuot mcuh prboelm. :)

  21. oh my gosh! i’m not freaking dumb! i know how to spell! I just use “abv.” to shorten however “yew” is sumthing i’ve written scince i was a little girl not because i want to text just purely out of habbit if “you” can read it why does it matter? Honestly, if it’s understandable why does it matter how i write my commments? I don’t do it out of lazziness i do it because i didn’t feel the need to write out each word if thsy were readable, certainly not because i’m a little girl. What is the point? By the way geezes is not for “Jesus” it is for Geeze. I was not using it to take anything in vain only to illistrate how frusterated i was. If it truly bothers you guys so much then just ignore my posts. I’m sorry for those non english speakers out there I’ll try to be a little clearer for your sake.

    @mhkitty
    you are entirely correct, however that website is to confusing for even me. The pictures are cute though and if yew manage to understand the captions they are pretty funny.

    @binks, acton and Catherine
    If it offends yew so much why read them? Acton- yew raise a good point (non engligh speakers). Perhaps i shall in the future use less.

  22. it’s hard to tell what’s going on with her hair in the picture. i would have no idea it was HK if you didn’t say so. as a proud HK collector (who now has a kimora lee simmons diamond necklace!!) i think that the hair is ugly and definitely not a good idea. this is why hello kitty makes hair bows and barrettes.

  23. That is so ugly! Why would anyone even think that is a slightly good idea. first of all, the kitty’s don’t even look like HK, and now, if she regrets it, she cannot get rid of it for a while. it amuses me how many people adore the evil feline, and how many people dedicate their lives to collect the useless junk.

  24. You know, thinking of that hair, it reminds me of a kaleidoscope at the other end.

    Hair’s not a precise medium for pop cartoon lines like Hello Kitty. It just tends to go down and up–unless if you SHAVE lines into it. But then you’d have to dye/tattoo the skin.

    Ah well.

  25. Note to your parents…

    The condoms clearly had a hole in them!!!!!

    PLease consider contraception to save future generations from this..

    ** Blinks**
    **thbbbttss**

  26. Text speak angers me. having only just turned 24 yesterday, i’m supposed to be part of this generation. If any of my friends speak like this on either instant messaging or text, they get an earful about it.

    @emily – exams must be fun for ‘yew’. looks like those A*’s will never be in your reach.

  27. Wow, your wife needs to be checked out a little, I think. x.x
    A hello kitty moment? serisously? “I would love to talk about hello kitty with you, dear! We can have super fun conversations! About burning her…blowing her up..crushing her…Wiping out her very existace! Wont that be fun! A real hello kitty moment!”

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