Hello Kitty Evolution


The truth finally slips out in a 35th Anniversary Mad Scientist display in Macau. Called Hello Kitty Evolution, we see the way that the evil feline spreads her paws to Kittify one place after another (click on image to enlarge):

Hello Kitty Evolution

I find it to be most appropriate that there’s a needle stuck inside Hello Kitty’s head and the result of this is to produce a cloud with a bow on it (actually, I thought there was even less up there than water vapor, so I need to apologize and I stand corrected). Beyond that, however, things take a turn for the worse. Hello Kitty Evolution connects her to four main launching points: Strawberry Hospital, Daniel Travel, Mrs. Ribbon Salon and Kitty Cafe.

Of course, the evolution doesn’t stop there and the future expansion doesn’t look pretty. Hello Kitty has targeted Kitty College, Star Museum, Hello Tower, Kuromi Cinema, KT Formula, KT Company Ltd., Kitty Police Station, Badtz Maru Playground, Nekosen Station and Kitty Boutique. Welcome to the world that Hello Kitty envisions for all of you.

We then learn about Kitty’s Experimental City (click on image to enlarge):

Hello Kitty evil evolution

Sanrio actually lets it slip that there is such thing as an evil Hello Kitty and I’m pretty sure we all know that she is the one attribute that dominates the people at Sanrio. Kitty’s Experimental City doesn’t do anything to alleviate that concern:

Innocent Kitty, Explorer Kitty, Wise Kitty, Material Kitty, Evil Kitty… which kind of Kitty character will you create? To celebrate the 35th anniversary of Hello Kitty, Sanrio brings you a brand new adventure collaboration. A mysterious lab is hidden at the back door of the concept store where an experimental city built by Dr. Kitty is located. While you enter the city and venture to get a Kitty ID, Kitty’s evolution will instantly initiate the Nurture project. Each decision you make is going to determine the personality of Hello Kitty and the Laws of Evolution are going to constantly change.

What they conveniently fail to mention is that no matter what evolutionary track takes place, the end result is always world domination by Hello Kitty and you under her watchful eye tagged with the Hello Kitty ID she conveniently microchipped you with. Maybe that Hello Kitty Hell paranoia I have isn’t as far off base from reality as I sometimes imagined…

Sent in by helenkt who should have to submit to the new Hello Kitty world order and be “nurtured” by Hello Kitty for the rest of her life as punishment for sending these to me and confirming that my previous paranoia is actually the truth (at least with the paranoia, I had the hope I could be wrong…).

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27 Responses to Hello Kitty Evolution

  1. Kitteh!! says:

    …’and be “nurtured” by Hello Kitty ‘… – Dude, this is not how you spell “tortured” ;)

  2. KittyColin67 says:

    Dawning of the Hello Kitty age…..WOOHOO!!!, let the upgrade begin!
    I feel another tattoo coming on. :)

  3. Sharon says:

    Cute is ugly.
    Poverty is riches.
    Innocence is evil.

    Hello Kitty is watching you.

    (Couldn’t we just have Orwell’s 1984 instead? It sounds so much more welcoming.)

  4. Serena says:

    ….hello kitty naked…soooooooooooooo cute!

  5. Rhianimator says:

    Or is this the Hello Kitty Matrix? If so, you need a Hello Kitty Neo to deal with it.

  6. MJH says:

    You know why Kitty fanatics are so out of their minds?
    Because they’ve been posessed.
    Hello Kitty is antichrist.
    It says in the Bible that you shall be marked by the beast…
    That’s the Kitty ID they’re talking about D:

    That “experimental city” sign.. it’s like she’s welcoming you to… Hello Kitty Hell…

  7. darlene says:

    It makes me so mad when you make things up that don’t make any sense at all! You have no idea how to interpret anything about Hello kitty, do you? The cloud with the bow doesn’t mean that Hello Kitty’s head is filled with clouds. It means that she thinks like an angel. Jeez, don’t you have a clue about anything?

    Hello Kitty taking over all those places will make them happy and loving places. Much better than they are today. That is a bad thing? I have no idea why you are so against spreading love and happiness to everyone. It’s like you want people to me unhappy and miserable.

    And Hello Kitty is not evil. That is a mistake in the sign. If you read the English, there are a lot errors in the translation. What it should say is that she is mischievous which has an entirely different meaning and we all know that there isn’t an ounce of evil in Hello Kitty so it has to be a mistake. I hate it when you spread this lies!

    And what is the problem with being nurtured? That is something that all people need and there isn’t enough of in the world. You are against nurturing too?! That’s what we all want and that is why Hello Kitty wants to give it to us.

    Next time learn how to write the real meaning instead of just making stuff up to try and scare people!

  8. strawrose says:

    You know, despite this being a joke, I am a little creeped out.

  9. Jere' says:

    lol nice post
    darlene’s reactions remind me of your wife…..hmmm
    I wonder….

  10. Meryat says:

    Evil. Evil Kitty. Eeeeeeviilllllll…

  11. darlene's P.S. says:

    When I see the heinous egregious malicious nefarious nasty evil lies you spread about Hello Kitty I get mad enough to eat I-beams and spit nails. You don’t really know the real Hello Kitty and I do because I’m a raving lunatic who still believes in a vapid marketing icon targeted at girls of single digit age. Hello Kitty really exists somewhere and I know what she is really thinking! $%$#%*!!!!

    Hello Kitty has so much love that one Hello Kitty atom can turn hell into a utopia, and she is the sole source of all the happiness on earth! She’s like the most powerfully euphoric narcotic there is, only she’s legal! I hate it when you spread this lies! (The only thing worse is when you spread these lie! )

    Hello Kitty is my creator, my god and my redeemer and I want you to stop it, stop it, stop it now! *stamps foot*

  12. Friedrich says:

    Hello Kitty evolution challenges the Kasas School boards “Intelligent Design” theory, well though many claim ” Inteligent Design” & Hello Kitty are oxymorons, evil can be inteligent, and hello kitty attracts more than her share of Morons, so it will be a close call………
    Sadly Hello Kitty , like Startreks ensign Barkley, or the BORG is infiltrating & seizing control of more & more things assimilating all who stand in her way….. with her new motto Resistance is futile………
    On the bright side, the new Hello Kitty prison is sure to do a much better job of torturing the inmates, & sapping their will to live, without running into problems with the geneva convention………..
    Although Im pretty sure mr HKH will claim that he ALREADY lives in a Hello kitty prison, and that it is cruel & unusual punishment.

  13. Rebecca says:

    Whoever wrote “Darklene’s P.S.”, I love you.

  14. YTSL says:

    Poor Macau people — seems they got an edited/down-sized version of Hong Kong’s Hello Kitty Lab!

    http://webs-of-significance.blogspot.com/2009/08/hello-kittys-kitty-lab.html

  15. kittyluv says:

    yay, now hello kitty can spread her joy all over!

  16. Liz says:

    Weeeeeiiiirrrd…

  17. Mandarin Kitten says:

    wtf???
    Oh, darlene’s not darlene anymore… *^_^* freedom!!

  18. Lynn says:

    World Domination…Meow !

  19. Cindy says:

    I usually hate HK…but I have to admit since I am a scientist…the HK with a flask and a lab coat really got me (this come out in Hong Kong for the HK 35th anniversary theme)….

    and I have a bag that is the exact replica of the HK cloud…

    Yip, HK spread to everywhere now….it has the mentality of a invading species!

  20. danigirl says:

    darlene’s P.S. was AWESOME!!!! thanks to whoever wrote it

  21. Emily says:

    I loled at darlesenes p.s, and darlene. I wonder if she ever actually read or responds to what we rply to her?

    Also darlene, A could is not an angel. You need to get at least some kind of non-hello-kittified clue.

  22. Lauren says:

    How exactly does She, Her Almightiness the one true Hello Kitty, plan to end poverty, violence, and other cultures and religions? When she tells you, Darlene, will you write it in the Hello Bible, dress in the Hello Creepy hood, and preach the message of the Kitty to those in her city? Hmm? And will you paint the Hello Kittified version of the Sistine Chapel?

    Important questions, I’m telling you.

  23. al al says:

    Its because of her that we will have to deal with zombies. Its time some one issued a fatwa against hk. Darlene is the messenger of the devil. Join the jihad against hk

  24. kitty says:

    Singapore has kitty lab now..
    http://www.kittylab.com.sg/

  25. TANUTI says:

    Does this really exsist?? I wish it did’nt but.. OMG!!

  26. Miss Muffin says:

    I think i want to marry whoever wrote darlene’s ps!
    Also, this is pretty creepy. It just brings to mind a rising of kitty clones. Theres no hope!

  27. Cat77 says:

    OMG U lier Hello Kitty is amazing and U know it U just don’t know U know it LOL

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