Hello Kitty Tramp Stamp

Seriously, if you see something like this on your girlfriend (or she even hints that she wants something like this), it’s a pretty good indication that it’s time to get out of the relationship as quickly as possible (or know that you will subject yourself to intolerable pain living a life in Hello Kitty Hell):

Hello Kitty tramp stamp

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Hello Kitty Bratz Lady Gaga Dress

Apparently Bratz doesn’t feel that Barbie should be the only one to get to wear the dress. It really doesn’t make a difference what doll is wearing it. It’s going to give the average non Hello Kitty fanatic nightmares…

Hello Kitty Bratz Lady Gaga dress

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission)

Hello Kitty Soldier Cake

What should you get a soldier on his birthday? Apparently some people think that a Hello Kitty birthday cake with the evil feline in full combat uniform holding a machine gun is the way to go. Of course, this would include the words that Hello Kitty would undoubtedly be barking out to soldiers in the field if she were in command: “Guts & Drive!”

Hello Kitty soldier cake

Sent in by HK Guy (via Artisan Cakes by e.t. – photo used with permission)

Hello Kitty Mouth Mutant

Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself:

Hello Kitty mutants with mouths

Sent in by Essi who found them at a flea market at Finland.

Hello Kitty Bees Commit Harakiri In Protest

It seems that the Hello Kitty beehive bees succumbed to the humiliation of having to be known as the Hello Kitty bees. At the time, Bill Bird was confused about why his bees were swarming even though the evidence was obvious as I explained:

The answer is simple. You’re making the bees live in a freaking pink Hello Kitty bee hive and they figured it out. It would make anybody angry and want to swarm. Of course, as anyone that would think it was a good idea to build a Hello Kitty bee hive in the first place, they try to rationalize the new found aggressiveness of the bees to something else.

Hello Kitty hive

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Hello Kitty Advent Calendar

I have no doubt that this was created to make sure that the significant other of every Hello Kitty fanatic suffers intolerable agony on a daily basis for the entire month of December as he has to listen each morning to the excited, high pitch squeals of joy about how cute that day’s chocolate blob of feline evilness is. Just saying from my own experience…

Hello Kitty advent calendar

Sent in by Kiki

Update You knew that there could never just be one and that I would continue getting Hello Kitty Christmas crap after Christmas was long over…

hello kitty advent calendar

Sent in by hellokitty_luver

hello kitty advent calendar

Sent in by Hayley

Hello Kitty Water Dispenser

This is on my wife’s current wish list which probably means that I will soon have the evil feline flipping me off every time I go to get a cup of life sustaining liquid. I wonder how long I will have to sleep in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag when my wife sees me returning the favor while yelling at the water dispenser, “%*@& you too! How the hell can you get away sitting around flipping off the world and claim you are simply ‘sucking on your finger’ when you don’t even have a mouth!” I can see that I’m going to be needing a Hello Kitty straight jacket soon…

Hello Kitty water dispenser

Sent in by Azielle

Hello Kitty Weekend Update

Don’t you have some holiday shopping to do? Yeah, it sucks fighting the crowds, but it is immeasurably more pleasant than looking at the links below that didn’t make the front page this past week. So is eating fruit cake — or for that matter, getting whacked upside the head with a fruit cake. What I’m trying to subtly say is that you can basically do anything else that you can imagine — no matter how painful it may be — and you will be much happier than looking at the links below. You’ll also save yourself the inevitable nightmares for the rest of the week. You know, one day I’m hoping that you finally learn…

Hello Kitty Gangster Car (update)
Hello Kitty Hand Grenade (update)
Hello Kitty Throws Up Rainbows
Hello Kitty Snuggie
Hello Kitty Nipple Tassels (update)
Hello Kitty Edible Fruit Bouquet (update)
Hello Kitty Xmas Tree (update)
Hello Kitty Pink Room (update)
Hello Kitty Band Aids (update)
Hello Kitty Pajama Bottoms on Men

Hello Kitty Wonderful World Graphic

If you really had any doubt (and if you have been to this blog, that certainly is not the case) about how prevalent the evil feline is in the world, this Hello Kitty “Wonderful World of Hello Kitty” graphic should thoroughly depress you for the next few years (click on image to enlarge at your own risk):

Hello Kitty graphic

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Hello Kitty Snuggie

How do you take a really bad idea like Snuggies and make them even worse? Simple — add the evil feline into the mix and you get a truly horrifying piece of material that is sure to leave you friendless:

Hello Kitty snuggies

Of course, Hello Kitty fanatics have been doing the Hello Kitty snuggie bathrobe mod for years now, as this unfortunate soul shows:

hello kitty snuggie bathrobe

Sent in by marcia (first photo unknown, second photo via Hello Kitty Limited)

Update: Let’s hope this isn’t a growing trend or that people think it is acceptable to wearing these in public:

hello kitty nightclub snuggie

Left by JaniceLlamoca on Twitter

hello kitty snuggie photo

Sent in by Sevi

Hello Kitty Lindsay Lohan Crap

It seems that Lindsay Lohan has decided that she no longer needs some of her Hello Kitty crap. She has decided to sell it to her fans on a new website which she created for the sole purpose of selling all of her old crap (seriously, you can’t make this stuff up). I can’t decide if it is good news that Lindsay Lohan has actually figured out that Hello Kitty crap is not worth keeping, or beyond evil feline evil that someone will end up with not only Hello Kitty crap, but Hello Kitty crap previously owned by Lindsay Lohan.

Hello Kitty Lindsay Lohan dog bag

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Hello Kitty Gets Ticket From Police

Despite the wishes of Hello Kitty fanatics, Hello Kitty doesn’t get her way with everyone. While Hello Kitty fanatics think that you will find sweetness inside the evil feline, more and more people are realizing that this is what is far more likely to be lurking inside. Apparently, the cops feel that Hello Kitty is up to no good:

My wife thinks that it is shameful that the cops would stop and question Hello Kitty. I, on the other hand, think that Hello Kitty getting stopped by the police is a good start, but this photo would have been infinitely better if she was being tasered with her own signature taser model…just saying

The photo comes from major deegan (used with permission). Originally sent in by HK Guy from a Hello Kitty Junkie tweet on Twitter (and then by many others). Next time find me a shot of Hello Kitty getting tased and I’ll buy you a beer…

Hello Kitty Pajama Bottoms on Men

It’s never a good sign when you see something in Hello Kitty Hell for the first time, but you can usually console yourself with the fact that it was most likely a one time abnormality that you will never have to witness again. It’s much more worrisome when that image appears for a second time in a different situation because this gets you thinking that you may be seeing the beginning of some horrifying trend that will mentally scar you for life. That is exactly the situation I now find myself in with Hello Kitty pajama bottoms being worn by men:

Hello Kitty pajama bottoms

Left by mybffmatty on Twitter

And the first image from the Hello Kitty significant other post

Hello Kitty pajamas

Sent in by Melanie

Hello Kitty Weekly Links

I know, I know. It’s like a car wreck. Even though you know that you will thoroughly regret it, you still slow down and take a look. In the same way, you know that you will thoroughly regret looking at all this Hello Kitty stuff that didn’t make the front page:

Hello Kitty POW Ambush Necklace
Hello Kitty LCD TV (update)
Hello Kitty Christmas Wreath
Hello Kitty Blythe Doll
Hello Kitty Judith Leiber $4000 Hobo Bag
Hello Kitty Band Aids (update)
Hello Kitty Nails (update)
Hello Kitty Version Love & Peace = Paradise Mano Erina (video)

Hello Kitty POW Ambush Necklace

Living in Hello Kitty Hell, you get used to seeing all the overpriced cheap crap that is out there, but the evil feline seems to take the overpriced theory a lot more seriously than most retailers. Case in point, the Hello Kitty POW! necklace which looks like it comes out of one of those gumball machines in front of your local drugstore, but carries a $200 price tag. Just the thought that they can get away with this makes you want to put one of those Hello Kitty guns to your head and put yourself out of misery…

Hello Kitty Pow Ambush Necklace

Hello Kitty POW necklace

Hello Kitty Ambush necklace

Sent in by Bianca