Hello Kitty Face Carabiner Giveaway
If this is any indication of how this year is going to shape up, it’s going to be one Hello Kitty Hellish 365 days.
Now that we’re back in the US, my wife is dutifully trying to Hello Kittify our new place like in Japan. To keep my sanity, I try to take off each day to an Internet cafe to get work done. One would think that I would be safe now that I am not in the land of the evil feline, but that would be greatly underestimating Hello Kitty’s will to make my life hell.
I now know that I should never, ever check this blog in public. There were some notices in my email that a number of comments needed to be moderated, so I headed over to this blog to approve them. If I had only known what would happen next.
As the blog came up on the screen, the woman next to me must have glanced over to see it.
Woman: “Oh, I love that blog!”
Me: Instantly knowing this wasn’t going to be good when I looked to see a variety of Hello Kitty crap among her possessions. I forced a smile and remained silent hoping against hope that she would leave the conversation at that, ignoring the universal truth that if a person is a Hello Kitty fanatic, there is no shutting them up once the topic turns to Hello Kitty.
Woman: “I didn’t know guys like to look for Hello Kitty stuff too. Are you looking to get something for your wife? I love looking for new stuff there.”
Me: “Well, not exactly…” (thinking: “Seriously, this can’t be happening to me.”)
Woman: “Oh, you should buy your wife Hello Kitty jewelry. She’ll LOVE (repeated 3 times) IT! See, I have this necklace…” and the woman begins to go through and explain about all the Hello Kitty items she owns.
Me: (Thinking: “you have got to be kidding me…”) as I interrupt her, not really thinking what might happen because all I want to do is get this woman to stop talking about Hello Kitty. “Look, I am the guy that writes this blog, and…”
Woman” “OMG! OMG! OMG!”
Me: (Thinking: “oh crap, what have I just done?”)
Woman: Starts excitedly talking a million miles a minute so that nothing is comprehensible except for the final sentence which is, “your wife is my hero.” She then takes something out of her purse, hands it to me and says, “I want your wife to have this.”
Me: (Thinking: “this can’t be happening…) Thanks, but there is no need to do that.”
Woman: “No, I insist. I love your wife.”
Me: (Thinking: “under no circumstances should I ever let this woman and my wife meet if I want to keep my sanity…) “No, really, it’s not necessary…”
Woman: “Your wife will love it! You have to give it to her from me.”
Me: “Seriously, there is no need…”
Woman: Interrupting me mid sentence. “You have to promise to give it to her.”
Me: “Well…”
Woman: “There are no buts about it. It’s settled. You promise to give it to her, right?”
Me: “Seriously, she doesn’t need it. Have you ever read my blog? She has more…”
Woman: interrupts mid sentence again. “Oh, I LOVE (repeated 3 times again) your blog” and then goes into her undecipherable, mile a minute blabber about all the things she likes on the blog.”
Me: (wondering: “what is the worst of these two evils – having to listen to this woman blather for the next half hour about Hello Kitty or taking the thing for my wife and getting out of there asap.”) “Fine, fine,” I said grabbing the Hello Kitty face carabiner key chain and getting the hell out of there as quickly as I possibly could:
So now I have this and there is no possible way I’m going to give it to my wife because if I do, she’ll insist on meeting this woman and that would certainly produce unimaginable ripples in the very fabric of life as we know it. So I will instead give it away.
The contest is simple and should give Hello Kitty fanatics a fun dilemma to try and overcome. Simply leave a comment in this post listing 3 or more reasons why you hate Hello Kitty. Any comment which has anything positive to say about Hello Kitty will be disqualified.
I will have a random number generated for the comments that qualify left below. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the Hello Kitty face carabiner.
The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Tuesday January 12th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world including my wife (oh, how I would love to see her list three reasons she hates Hello Kitty).
Update: There were 181 entries in this contest and the random number came out 20 – contragatualtions to Yasmin for being the winner:
Popularity: 7%
Posted: January 8th, 2010 under Hello Kitty Free Crap.
Comments: 191
Why I hate Hello Kitty
1.) I hate the evil feline because adults go crazy over this crap, and it’s meant for KIDS!
2.) The fact that they MARKET to adults. I mean come on….. HK feminine products, HK Vibrator, appliances, guns….. Has Sanrio no shame?
3.) I mean, it’s Hello Kitty, need I say more?
I’m a Hello Kitty Fan, but I’ll take a shot at some reasons why I could possibly hate her.
1. How in the hell is this cat making mad bank off of her own collection of Zales Jewelry? (Oh, that’s right I asked my husband for the Hello Kitty graduation necklace)
2. I’m 23 and find myself jealous of the children items with Hello Kitty that don’t fit me…that pussy needs to learn that grown women like her as well.
3. She taunts me every time I got to Target or anywhere else for that matter and will be the cause of my divorce if I keep up these spending habits and making my husband wear a Hello Kitty Snuggie…..
Wait, this is a contradiction. If someone hates HK then they’re not going to want to win a HK carabiner, are they? Hmm, well I suppose if I won it I could dispose of it and rid the world of one more piece of HK crap.
(1) She’s bl***dy everywhere.
(2) She’s responsible for the creation of HK fanatics.
(3) The constant production of HK crap is damaging to the environment. It is waste by definition, before anyone even buys it.
1. That must be THE ugliest cat I’ve seen. And people pay top dollar for that crap!
2. I don’t know how the connection happens in my mind, but each time the term I hear “Hello Kitty” , my brain thinks its associated of Japanese porno lol
3. She reminds me of spoiled little rich girls every time I see an image of Hello Kitty.
1. She is only the first representative of her race, presenting through an inter-dimensional rift in space and time, hell bent on taking over our universe through the zombies her mind-control rays induce into aiding the campaign by spreading her filth far and wide.
2. The food items that are created in her likeness actually eat the person who ingested them from the inside out, refilling the hollow, human shaped item left behind with a soft, gelatinous pink goo that is actually a hive mind, controlled by the pseudo-sapient ribbon worn as an accessory.
3. I really despise pink.
Let me rephrase: #3. I really despise pink because it is the true color of evil. The Goat with a Thousand Young has pink fur. The Deep Ones are actually Pepto Bismol Pink. Lucifer wears a pink tutu in private. The number of the Beast may be 666 but his favorite color is pink. The evil feline turns all that she touches pink.
1. People like Lady Gaga and Lindsey Lohan like her.
2. Sanrio makes Hello Kitty items that cost more than my car. That’s just wrong.
3. It’s impossible to walk 10 feet without seeing Hello Kitty somewhere.
1. She’s superhypocritical, by having a line of handgrenades and guns while she insists that she is ‘spreading love and joy’
2. She will be known to alien invaders as our much beloved goddess
3. She has now invaded the faroe islands with kids’ furniture, buggies and other such things. And my cousin loves it. D:
1. She’s a major diva in the world. All her richness, all the different things they made her in & popularity sickens me.
2. She NEVER SMILES! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH HER. Mocking people with her expressionless face. Shunning us away, so we don’t know her true emotions. A POKER FACE.
3. She took over every darn thing in the world! I swear, there is NOTHING she is NOT ON. SELL OUT. TOO much. ):<
1.- because her stuff is overpriced
2.- hello kitty can become a serious adiction
3.- she has more control of the minds of a lot people making them idiots
1. Her head is wayyy too big.
2. Her crap cost more than it shoud.
3. She is as bad as crack to a crack addict!
My sister likes her, she has no mouth, and some of her stuff is just really weird!
1. she’s 3 apples tall, what kind of measurement system is that esp. for some cat that doesn’t have a mouth and would never have any reason to come into contact with a apple and esp. not 3 apples. And exactly how big a these apples.
2. she makes a terrible HappyMeal toy.
3 Only Mickey Mouse should have his own theme park.
1. No mouth. Seriously weird, especially in the cartoons where she talks.
2. She’s been around for 30 years and hasn’t aged. Like Dracula.
3. When I was little it was hard to find HK stuff and now it’s seriously EVERYWHERE. Vibrators, even. Hmmph.
I hate Hello Kitty because
1. I have to use a hello kitty hair dryer to dry my hair
2. She’s Pepto-Bismol Pink
3. My 30 yo daughter wants a Hello Kitty wedding dress and they start at $5,000 and go up!
PS – She’s getting married this year…
She has unfortunately sold out. She has gotten old. She crossed the line on cute.
I hate Hello Kitty because:
1. The market is saturated with this crap.
2. It’s all obnoxiously expensive.
3. Hello Kitty is stupid-lookikng.
I hate Hello Kitty because:
1. My wife loves Hello Kitty and makes me buy her a bunch of Hello Kitty products
2. Hello Kitty items cost so much
3. Hello Kitty is not even cute and don’t understand the obsession with her.
I don’t know whether to be happy that I met you or mad that you are making people say why they hate Hello Kitty and not giving the keychain to your wife like you promised. It was soooo cool meeting you and I’m sorry if I talked a mile a minute. I was just sooooo excited and it was soooo unexpected. I’m not really that bad. I just really like Hello Kitty and I know you secretly do too.
Your wife is going to be mad when she finds out cause that is the cutest keychain ever. But your blog makes me laugh all the time so even though you are being mean about making people tell you why they hate Hello Kitty, I’m still not mad at you.
I told all my friends that I met you and they are all sooooo jealous. They wanted to meet you too, so we went back to the same coffee shop and hoped that you would be there, but you weren’t.
Thank you for making my day. You were soooo nice. You shouldn’t lie about how much you didn’t want to listen about all my Hello Kitty stuff. You sat and listened for over an hour and smiled the whole time. It was so great talking with you. I understand why your wife loves you even though you don’t like Hello Kitty.
I’m going to put something special in my purse so that if we meet again, I can give you something that you will have to give to your wife!
1. she weighs about 3 apples, who measure weight in apple?
2. everything hello kitty is expensive
3. she’s 35 and has not aged a bit
I hate her because:
1. her products are so expensive and most of them are poorly manufactured
2.I hate being addicted to her products like, seriously i know ill never use a hello kitty bento box or beanie but like… i must have them!
3.She’s driving my boyfriend insane :]
1. She gets on my last nerve.
2. She smells of cat food.
3. She prances around like a Peacock.
1. Because everyone likes hello kitty
2. It’s for little kids, grow up you’re 30
3. her stuff costs too much
1. She’s an agent for Satan seeking to corrupt innocent minds with sugary cuteness
2. Women are expected to love her and are treated like they are insane if they profess a lack of love for Hello Kitty
3. She represents all that is wrong with capitalist society
1. she is so damn pink.
2 bows are so 80′s.
3 lolitta porn star wanabes, dress like her for parties.
Three things to hate about Hello Kitty:
1- Hello Kitty has caused countless, sensible, and for the most part, normal adult women to completely lose all of their common sense at the mere sight of her. Money has been foolishly spent, relationships suffer (and fail), and time wasted all for the “love” of Hello Kitty.
2- There are fans so desparate to own something with Hello Kitty’s face they are willing to fork over their good, hard earned money for “bootleg” merchandise. Anyone who has come across any fake Hello Kitty stuff knows that it is some of the grossest stuff ever mass produced! And let’s not go into those homemade art projects people who think they are creative make!!!
3- Sanrio just doesn’t know when to stop. There is no, and I mean no good reason why anyone should EVER own a Hello Kitty “personal massager” or Hello Kitty tampons. Never ever, ever, ever…
1. i’m too old for hello kitty stuff.
2. i could end up having the same item as my gr. 4 students.
3. too pink!
1. She has taken over EVERYTHING
2. All the little kiddies who try to be cool purchase her items
3. She has DESIGNER items! WTF!?
1) Holy crap
2) Hell no
3) OMG WTF?!
Gods, is that… is that metal? Do we have a kiln where we could melt it away?
1. She has no mouth – that is just wrong
2. She is a cat, but has a pet cat? WTF??
3. She needs to grow up, get a job and move out of her parent’s house
1 She has so many ridiculous products, it seems anything will go.
2 Living in Japan at the moment and i can’t seem to escape her, she’s every where, so are bows on everything and i blame her influence.
3 She’s not a good role model
1. Unproportional!
2. No mouth
3. I am allergic to cats
1) she stole my baby
2) she shat on my baby
3) she ate my baby
1) She has fur but no mouth to clean herself with/choke to death on hair balls.
2) Her fetish for pink even nauseates Barbie.
3) Her insane devotees act as if no one could loathe that smarmy ball of commercial whoredom. It’s like people who believes every homophobe is really gay and in denial.
DEATH TO THE MOUTHLESS OPPRESSIVE FELINE!
1. The ‘extra’ Hello Kitty desk that’s been taking space in my garage, away from manly things like hockey gear and power tools. My wife swears that one day, our second daughter will need her own HK desk, even though our eldest daughter doesn’t use her HK desk.
2. Half my daughters’ wardrobe is Hello Kitty, but their school doesn’t allow character-based clothing, so half their wardrobe is wasted on weekend only clothes.
3. My wife’s aunt works for Sanrio, so I can never escape Hello Kitty.
1. She turns 50 yr old women into 13 yr olds
2. Mariah Carey is her bff
3. Buying her things rapes bank accounts
Don’t count this in the contest: I don’t want the carabiner. I just want to see what I can come up with.
1. Pink. ‘Nuff said.
2. Uses up the earth’s resources. Really, couldn’t all that plastic be used for something that betters people? Artificial organs or something along those lines?
3. If you have made a blog about how much she’s ingrained herself in your life, that speaks VOLUMES to why anyone should hate her. Or fear her. Either one will do.
First of all, Hello Kitty is just an evil idea used to corrupt the minds of young children and women, and all it does is force those fanatics to waste money on useless products that need to be burned, and last but not least, nothing is adorable about pepto bismol.
1. Boyfriend thinks that nude pic you have posted is hot.
2. Everyone has her. Whore!!!
3.my sister has her tattoed on her back… She thinks it’s cute , I say cum target
1: She raped me before I could rape her
2: She turned me gay for everything with her face on it
3: Still has me questioning “her” gender.
1.. Her stupid bow.. with my O.C.D. I want either I bow on the other side of a bow in the middle… Ever time i see anything hello kitty i gotta draw another bow on it.. tear the bow off.. of just hide it from myself..
2.. The cartoons.. holy hell my sister rented them one time… it was a free rental.. and i know why now. IT WAS SIMPLY RETARDED… I thot spongebob was bad jeezus…
3.. and last but not least she just scares the living shit outta me :-/
1) Every time I go to my friend’s house, Hello Kitties stare evilly at me. And there are about 1000 of them.
2) Hello Kitty inspires the $20 bag sale. I was forced to go and ended up injured by a maniacal Hello Kitty fan.
3) It’s SCARY. Must I say more?
1. She smells like rotten eggs.
2. She makes my eyes itch.
3. She raped my dog.
1) She looks like she is giving you the bird 24/7
2) She is a cat, I am way more into dogs
3) Hello Kitty’s name is stupid. Hello Kitty? Come on, be creative.
1. Hello Kitty should be banned forever because countless women and some men have spent too much money on her products and I bet all of that money could go to reasonable causes.
2. She has become such an icon that many deface their own bodies with her wretched figure and then to desecrate christ with her as christ is bull shit.
3. All of her stupid products that have been made and some that were just wtf, like a vibrator or a gun, with her cute little kid image, and people actually buy these things.
That woman is like the idiots who don’t understand why people who are allergic to tomatoes can eat ketchup. “DUR THEY’RE BOTH THE EXACT SAME THING DUR” no they’re not. “DUR I LOVE YOUR BLOG DUR” no, obviously, you don’t even bother to read the thing.
OKAY! my three reasons:
1) it turns cute fanatics into feed for the Sanrio money shredder.
2) nothing about it is pure cute. All of it is tainted with crass commercialism.
3) http://www.kittyhell.com/2010/01/04/hello-kitty-1974-finger-costume/ WHAT?!
1. I’m embarrassed that I like her and try to keep it a secret
2. I’m allergic to cats
3. I want to be taken seriously
1. just because
2. she’s flat and that’s not sexy at all
3. her lack of facial expression
1. Sanrio’s marketing strategy fuels excessive consumerism in a society already fraught with debt and materialism. In future times, I have little doubt that HK will be a symbol of the worst excesses of capitalism.
2. Products bearing her likeness are marketed to grown women, promoting the idea that feminine sexuality ought to be childlike, ie, naive and helpless, and thereby contributing to the virgin-whore dichotomy and undermining feminism.
3. She scares the crap out of me. There is no way that Satan is not involved in her insane popularity.
1. someone gives you one thing so you obligingly carry it around with you for a few days and WHAM! you are a hk lover and now everyone gets you hk crap you don’t need
2. everyone thinks that if you like anything from japan(which I happen to be an anime fan) OH! You must LOVE HK…no I musn’t.
3. why does anyone under the age of 16 need a coffee maker from hk?!? They do not need the extra caffeine. It will just make the squee louder and longer. BOO