We all know that Hello Kitty claims to be a wonderful role model (and how could we ever dispute that with all the Hello Kitty weapons, Hello Kitty alcohol and Hello Kitty scarification she so generously promotes to lead all toward the good life). Now we have further proof of Hello Kitty’s goodness and role model worthiness as she tries to help girls look their best: I present the Hello Kitty bulimic:
There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I highly recommend you use common sense and don’t as this will save your mind from losing several IQ points)
It doesn’t take a huge leap of faith to figure out that if you lived an especially disgraceful previous life, chances are that you returned to earth as a pet of a Hello Kitty fanatic as punishment. Although I can’t imagine what type of evilness could constitute such a horrendous punishment, what Hello Kitty fanatics do to their poor pets is proof that their crimes must have been immense.
One would have thought this retribution was limited to those coming back as cats and dogs, although the fact that some poor bees got thrown into the mix (forcing them to kill themselves to escape the pain) should have been a hint that no animal was safe. The Hello Kitty hermit crab is more evidence to this fact:
It has been shown time and again that Hello Kitty in herself is just plain wrong. Hello Kitty tattoos have a way of highlighting that wrongness in ways that make us all shake our heads in disbelief. Then, of course, there are tattoos that when seen are simply wrong in so many ways and there isn’t really much more to say. A perfect example: