Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Art

Hello Kitty S&M Voodoo Doll

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 18:58:45 +0000

The one thing that that you can be certain of is that the evil feline will always find some bizarre niche that nobody would ever think of to continue to sell herself. The Hello Kitty S&M voodoo doll is further proof of that:

Sent in by tiffany

Hello Kitty Growth Chart

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 23:44:56 +0000

I’m beginning to think that creative editing (much along the lines of Hello Kitty coloring pages) might be the way to help lessen the agony of living in Hello Kitty Hell. If a Hello Kitty fanatic decides to gift you a Hello Kitty growth chart, what is the best way to proceed after the stomach churning realization that you may have to stare at the nauseating image for the foreseeable future? How about turning it into a Hello Kitty skeleton growth chart?

My wife simply doesn’t understand why someone would ever want to do something like that to Hello Kitty. When she asked me why, I did what any self preserving man who lived in Hello Kitty Hell would do. I kept my mouth shut, scrunched my brow a bit to make it look like I was considering her question with deep thought and even placed my hand on my chin for a more dramatic effect. I then shrugged my shoulders as if to say, “I have no idea” while secretly thinking, “who knew that a little shading here and there would bring out the true Hello Kitty?” Hey, at least I’m learning how to stay off the couch and out of the Hello Kitty sleeping bag…

Sent in by krystal who should have to spend the rest of her days marking the heights of kids on Hello Kitty growth charts as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Louvre Museum

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 02:26:17 +0000

More proof that the entire world is going to Hello Kitty Hell. You know that all is not right in the world when the the evil feline is prominently displayed in the gift shop of the supposed bastion of high art. I guess I won’t be traveling to the Louvre Museum anytime soon:

Sent in by Janet who says “This is the gift shop at the Louvre Museum! Even my 6 year old was unimpressed.”

Hello Kitty The Last Supper

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 19:38:45 +0000

Apparently the Last Supper painting had a slight flaw in the eyes of the evil feline — basically, she was left out of it:

I’m not sure which painting is more illustrative of Hello Kitty: Hello Kitty as Jesus, the savior of all mankind, or that she believes that McDonalds french fries were an unforgivable omission from the event and needed to bring them along to rectify the situation. Of course, the worst part is that not matter how you look at it, Hello Kitty is going to be there when the apocalypse arrives, probably trying to sell you something until the very last moment…

Sent in by George who have to confess all his sins on a daily basis to Hello Kitty as punishment for ever thinking that sending these to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Coloring Pages

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 21:58:07 +0000

My wife decided to download a bunch of Hello Kitty coloring pages the other day (I’m still debating whether this is better or worse than her buying a Hello Kitty coloring book) and told me that I should practice so that I can color them with my nieces when they come to visit. This, of course, made for a very difficult dilemma. Should I color the Hello Kitty coloring pages like my wife expected me to, or should I color the Hello Kitty coloring pages the way that they actually should be colored?

Obviously, my wife doesn’t agree with me on how Hello Kitty coloring pages should be colored. Apparently, realistic depictions of the true character of the evil feline aren’t what she had in mind when she said that I should practice and she made it very clear that it was not appropriate for me to color the Hello Kitty coloring pages like was done above (for some unfathomable reason, she didn’t think that my nieces would appreciate it either).

Maybe a Hello Kitty coloring contest is in order to see which type of Hello Kitty coloring page is a truer depiction of how people see Hello Kitty? Then again, it is a no win situation. Even if I win, I lose — which is a typical result when you live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Left by @Krystalle on Twitter via Epic Win FTW who gets a reprieve for punishment for sending me Hello Kitty crap since it made me smile…

Update: Apparently there are others that also think that coloring Hello Kitty coloring pages can be a lot of fun when you bring out her true spirit:

Sent in by Tricia Kleinot via her blog Color Halo

Sent in by misspaprika

Hello Kitty vs Hagar the Horrible

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 21:34:03 +0000

It’s not often that the week ends on a positive note when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, but sometimes there is a tiny ray of light that shines through all the darkness and brings a smile to my face. This is especially true when you realize that you are not alone in your fight against the horrors of the evil feline. Apparently Hagar the Horrible shares my feelings on how Hello Kitty should be treated. Enjoy:

Sent in by many via Neil Cameron

Hello Kitty Anatomy

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 20:50:51 +0000

It is bad enough having to look at the outside of Hello Kitty, but there are more and more people that think it would be a good idea to look at her insides. Case in point, Hello Kitty anatomy:

Is it totally wrong that upon seeing this, I immediately thought that a quick slice with a Hello Kitty knife or Hello Kitty box cutter of one of those Hello Kitty blood vessels would be a wonderful way to make the world a little better? It’s depressing enough that this exists at all, but you know that it’s only a matter of time before someone emails this to me as their new Hello Kitty tattoo…

Sent in by Jason Freeny (via his Moist Production site) who should be forced to show the most expedient ways to kill Hello Kitty as part of this art project as compensation for ever thinking that this was something that I needed to see…

Hello Kitty Wonderful World Graphic

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 18:40:50 +0000

If you really had any doubt (and if you have been to this blog, that certainly is not the case) about how prevalent the evil feline is in the world, this Hello Kitty “Wonderful World of Hello Kitty” graphic should thoroughly depress you for the next few years (click on image to enlarge at your own risk):

I was going to attempt to comment on everything listed, but as I started, I found myself seriously wanting to drink some Koolaid to put me out the misery of realizing that the graphic is a history of my life (see, all of a sudden your life is looking pretty damn good, doesn’t it?) I have no doubt that when my wife sees this, she will dutifully mark down any of the things listed that we may have somehow missed up to this point so that I can continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell for yet another year…

Sent in by Ciaran (via BusManagement) who really should have to track every single item that Sanrio produces with Hello Kitty on it for the rest of her life as punishment for ever thinking that showing just how Hello Kitty Hellish the world has become would do anything but dig the hole deeper…

Hello Kitty Throws Up Rainbows

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:16:17 +0000

Apparently Hello Kitty throws up rainbows — which would lead one to imagine that something like unicorns would come out the other end, or at least something pink. I guess not…

Sent in by christy (via Beyond The Pocket)

Hello Kitty Bombs In Boxes

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 06:31:22 +0000

There is no doubt that Hello Kitty loves her guns, so there really is no surprise that the evil feline would also eventually find her face on bombs. While these are artwork, you know that this has inspired the employees at Sanrio, and that it’s only a matter of time before she shows her mug on the real thing…

Surprisingly to me, my wife is not in the least bit offended by these. She seems to have the idea that if Hello Kitty bombs were ever dropped, they would explode with love and happiness instead of shrapnel. I, on the other hand, imagine that they would be filled with toxic gas that would cause delusions that the evil feline was something postive for the world population. This would be far worse, far more painful and far more devastating than any shrapnel bomb could ever be. Now you know for sure that the people at Sanrio are desperately trying to make the Hello Kitty bomb a reality and make my Hello Kitty Hell that much worse…

Sent in by Derek (via his art project Bombs in Boxes) who should have to suffer the consequences of a real Hello Kitty bomb as punishment for giving the people at Sanrio a new idea, and for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea…