I figured that if I could survive the excruciating pain of having to see all the hideous Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkin creations, I would no longer have to worry about the evil feline being carved into fruits. Unfortunately, I once again greatly underestimated the true diabolical nature within her soul when I was shown a carved Hello Kitty watermelon:

While I hope the Hello Kitty carving stops with this, the fact that these Hello Kitty carvings exist pretty much guarantee that the much less painful (although equally horrific and far too similar looking) Hello Kitty watermelons will continue to exist…

Sent in by klittle

Update: You knew it couldn’t end with just one…

There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I highly recommend you use common sense and don’t as this will save your mind from losing several IQ points)

Going out to an event is supposed to be fun, not cause excruciating pain and leave you scarred for life. I guess that the only upside of the Hello Kitty Swarovski combo is that you at least have a fighting chance to use the Swarovski crystals to slit your wrists and put yourself out of the agony you would surely be experiencing…

Sent in by Sheila

It is a well known fact that Hello Kitty enjoys her drugs (not to mention drug lords). Whether it is Hello Kitty cocaine, Hello Kitty acid or Hello Kitty marijuana, we now know what Hello Kitty enjoys doing when she is taking these drugs with this little memento left on a Hello Kitty pipe — getting it on with Butt Head from Beavis and Butthead:

While it may just be me, I think this is perfectly fitting punishment for all the Hello Kitty Hell the evil feline has put me through…

Sent in by Gilles (via Museum Of Kitsch)

It was probably inevitable. Once the Hello Kitty pregnant belly art made an appearance, it was simply a matter of time before someone felt the incomprehensible urge to ruin my day by sending me a full set of Hello Kitty body paint photos. Unfortunately, that day has come:

While Hello Kitty body paint in itself would be bad enough, the fact that it appears that Hello Kitty spent a night violently vomiting (must have been all the Hello Kitty booze) to create the color scheme doesn’t help matters…

Sent in by bob (via one model place)

What is it about Hello Kitty and eyes? Hello Kitty contact lenses are one of the most disturbing (and that is saying a lot considering the amount of disturbing this blog produces) items I have come across, so artwork depicting the evil feline as eyes just makes Hello Kitty creepier than she already is (which again, is saying a lot considering how creepy she is without doing a thing).

The fact that it is not difficult to imagine that Hello Kitty would be more than willing to eat a person’s eyes out if she thought it would give her a bit more marketing power probably has a little to do with it…

Sent in by Amanda

I’m not rich. In fact, being rich is something that I never want to aspire to be. While this might seem a bit strange to most people, it is perfectly obvious to anyone why not have large amounts of disposable income is a good thing when living in Hello Kitty Hell. The simple reason is that if money weren’t an object, there is no doubt that horrendous things like $1.5 million dollar Hello Kitty paintings would end up at my house:

The mere fact that anyone could conceive that something with the evil feline on it could be worth 7 figures pretty much confirms that all is not right in the world…

Sent in by blair (via eBay)

Because there is absolutely nothing that the evil feline believes can’t be Hello Kittified, you have things like the Hello Kitty uterus plush, the Hello Kitty bondage room, the Hello Kitty retainer and Hello Kitty motor oil (it’s quite sad that I could go on and on with this list). Suffice to say, Hello Kitty once again shows us that she is willing to make anything in her image to make a buck — including the Hello Kitty fetus:

I’m actually scared to imagine where the people at Sanrio are planning to go from here…

Sent in by Jason Freeny via his facebook page

While having nothing with the evil feline arrive in my email box would be ideal, it has become far too apparent that this isn’t going to ever happen. With this fact in mind, I guess I can consider it a good start to the week when someone accurately depicts what Hello Kitty is full of:

Of course, all the Hello Kitty fanatics are going to claim this is impossible because Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth, but we all know that this still doesn’t negate the accuracy of this image. Now if she would just pick up what she just deposited and use it as her bow — ah, what one wishes for when they live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Greg (via Danny Lawless)

Update: Did you really think this would be the end of this? Now we have to decide which is correct, brown or pink:

Left on facebook by Tess and Ulrike (via bbc video @1:35)

And some Hello Kitty crap grafitti:

Sent in by Jason via dryasadingo

Most people put Hello Kitty and Halloween together to create some of the most awful combinations possible, but every once in awhile someone comes up with a quality idea on how to treat the evil feline at the end of October. Jason Freeny (of Hello Kitty anatomy fame) decided that Halloween 2010 should be dedicated to the dissection of the official Balzac Hello Kitty Skeleton Costume vinyl figure:

Now, I certainly would have enjoyed seeing a whole lot more blood and guts (and screams certifying that the dissection was done while Hello Kitty was still alive), but I will still approve of cutting Hello Kitty into pieces as an excellent way to celebrate the 31st of October. Does this mean that Hello Kitty is officially dead?

Sent in by Jason Freeny also found on facebook.

The one thing that that you can be certain of is that the evil feline will always find some bizarre niche that nobody would ever think of to continue to sell herself. The Hello Kitty S&M voodoo doll is further proof of that:

Sent in by tiffany