You know that you really can’t take a fashion magazine seriously when they are willing to place the evil feline on the cover. You know they have gone completely insane when they think that doing a double cover is something that’s acceptable. We know that Elle Taiwan editors have guzzled the Kool Aid with their December Elle Hello Kitty magazine double cover:

I guess it really shouldn’t surprise me that this would come from a country that has a Hello Kitty hospital and a Hello Kitty airline (along with the Hello Kitty airport), but it still disturbs me to no end…

Sent in by so many people that I do have some serious doubts about the sanity of this world…

If Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to carve the evil feline into their skin (as well as branding), I guess that it really shouldn’t be a surprise that someone would also have no issue having Hello Kitty stabbed into their back with a bunch of acupuncture needles:

You know that the people at Sanrion have already put together a plan to start manufacturing Hello Kitty acupuncture needles so that this can become a new trend. I mean, really, there’s nothing like showing your devotion to a fictional character than by having numerous needles stuck into your skin so that they create a beautiful blood pattern of her…

Sent in by Kitten Takara

There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I highly recommend you use common sense and don’t as this will save your mind from losing several IQ points)

Going out to an event is supposed to be fun, not cause excruciating pain and leave you scarred for life. I guess that the only upside of the Hello Kitty Swarovski combo is that you at least have a fighting chance to use the Swarovski crystals to slit your wrists and put yourself out of the agony you would surely be experiencing…

Sent in by Sheila

As if you really needed any additional proof that Hello Kitty fanatics have a warped sense of thinking, you simply have to ask yourself what would you do if you were going to the beach. Most of us would put on some suntan lotion to prevent a sunburn and have a good time, but the Hello Kitty fanatic thinks a bit differently than you and me. She instead decides to put a Hello Kitty stencil on her body and then purposely get burned so that she can show off her lovely Hello Kitty sunburn to all her friends:

So in an indirect way, the evil feline promotes skin cancer, which actually makes a lot of sense when you think about it since it really isn’t difficult to see that Hello Kitty is a cancer on society. All in all, the indications are that this is going to be one of the worst Hello Kitty Hell summers in quite some time which is definitely saying a lot…

Sent in by Makenzie

Seriously, the one thing that you quickly realize living in Hello Kitty Hell is that there is no possible way that you can make up the Hello Kitty crap that exists out there. While I am not usually a fan of Hello Kitty merchandise, there are still those rare instances when Hello Kitty goes to levels so absurd that I believe for a second that she might actually do herself in. Case in point, the new Hello Kitty deodorant which is aptly named Pussy Wind (I kid you not)

Of course, the problem with my initial thoughts of imminent Hello Kitty doom at such an unfortunate name is that Hello Kitty Pussy Wind deodorant is sure to be a wild success. It is so terribly names that every Hello Kitty collector out there will have to have it in her collection.

I really don’t even want to take a guess at what demographic the evil feline is going after with this one and I am terrified to even imagine what what the fragrance actually smells like (although a part of me is sure that someone at Sanrio said, “hey, don’t you think that coming up with a deodorant for all the fans that use the Hello Kitty vibrator would be a good idea?” and everyone enthusiastically agreed.) All I really know is that this can’t be good for Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in first by Mikael along with far too many others…

Update: Some more Hello Kitty deodorant:

Sent in by Monica

It seems that the people at Sanrio have found that the reintroduction of the Hello Kitty vibrator shoulder massager has been so successful that they needed to add an attachment to their line of products and call it the Hello Kitty face massager:

While I would hope that this is used in the way it is supposed to be used (there is nothing worse in Hello Kitty Hell than seeing Kitty on kitty), I’m already terrifyingly frightened of the photos that I am likely to receive in the near future. Even more disturbing is the thought of what other type of attachments will be forthcoming if this, too, is a success…

Sent in by ami

It’s more than a bit ironic that despite Hello Kitty having no mouth, she has quite an oral branding fixation. This irony is all the worse because the Hello Kitty oral branding tends to be some of the worst. It’s difficult to keep one’s sanity when you see things like the Hello Kitty tooth, the Hello Kitty retainers, the Hello Kitty tongue stud and the Hello Kitty tongue and lip tattoos. One would assume that these disasters would bring Hello Kitty fanatics to their senses and that they would realize that Hello Kitty does not belong anywhere near their mouth, but that would be making the terrible assumption that Hello Kitty fanatics have common sense. Thus someone thought that Hello Kitty braces would be a good idea:

Let me give you a little hint that will serve you well in life. If you see a cute girl and she smiles at you to reveal a set of Hello Kitty braces or if your current significant others says that she has to have these, turn around and run. Better yet, sprint as fast as you can. Failure to do so with result you wearing a Hello Kitty tux while she walks down the aisle in a Hello Kitty wedding dress while you exchange Hello Kitty wedding rings. And that will only be the beginning of your Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Vivian

You know it’s going to be an extraordinarily terrible holiday season when it begins with Hello Kitty nails being made worse than all the examples already out there (something that any normal person would assume would be impossible). Then again, one thing I have learned over the years is to never underestimate how bad Hello Kitty can make things, especially when you believe you have seen the worst. Thus, it should be of little surprise that someone thought that Hello Kitty Halloween nails would be a good idea:

Of course, if the intent is to scare the crap out of all those that come around, I guess I have to admit that they are rather effective. Who can’t image the worst of the worrs horror movie icons being just that more terrifying with a Hello Kitty Halloween manicure? I’m sure that I will continue to have nightmares about them for far too many times in the months to come…

Sent in by PinkVelvetDream

Update: A terrible idea continued

Sent in by sezwho

Sent in by millie

It is already well established that Hello Kitty fanatics love their claws. One would assume seeing that sampling of what Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to do to their nails pretty much sums up the worst of the worst, but that would be highly underestimating Hello Kitty fanatics. Case in point: the Hello Kitty pedicure:

My wife absolutely loves the Hello Kitty toe nails and wants some for herself. She couldn’t stop squealing with high pitched Hello Kitty delight as she wondered out loud why she had not thought of doing that herself.

My reaction was quite different. Upon seeing them, I immediately recognized that the perfect torture technique had been developed. Instead of torturing a prisoner by slowly ripping of their finger and toe nails off with pliers, all you would have to do is show them the Hello Kitty manicure and pedicure. The person being detained would instantly recognize that ripping off their own nails would be vastly less painful than having Hello Kitty placed on them and having to look at them 24/7. Something I’m sure I have to look forward doing to myself in the near future if Hello Kitty Hell continues down it’s current path…

Left on twitter by @PinkVelvetDream via Pink Velvet who has obviously brought so much more pain and suffering upon herself by creating these than I could ever imagine wishing upon her for ever thinking that it would be a good idea to send them to me…

Update: This is definitely not a trend that I support:

Left on twitter by @PinkVelvetDream

Again, from @PinkVelvetDream

Sent in by Melissa

The mere fact that I not only know what this is and what it is used for should make me want to end my life. Unforetunatley, the pain doesn’t end there. My wife has actually tried to put Hello Kitty eggshell membrane oil on my face (see, your life doesn’t seem all that bad at the moment, does it?) which is positive proof that I live in Hello Kitty Hell:

While my wife insists that this will help beautify your skin, I put it forth as proof that the employees at Sanrio have an ongoing bet that they can put the evil feline on anything and that Hello Kitty fanatics will buy it. I have no doubt that a typical morning meeting in the Hello Kitty new product development division goes something like this:

team member 1: “We need to think up a new Hello Kitty product to sell.”

team member 2: “We have already put Hello Kitty on everything that exists. There is nothing more.”

team member 1: “Hmmm, OK, let’s just make some crap up and and put Hello Kitty on it.”

team member 2: “Like what? Something like Hello Kitty eggshell membrane oil?”

new team member: “Nobody will ever buy something as stupid as that…:

team manager: “You must be new to this team…”

all team members: (shaking their heads with bemusement as they snicker under their breath)

team member 1: “Yes! We will say that it helps beautify your skin. The Hello Kitty fanatics will love it!”

They then go on to sell millions and repeat the same process each and everyday. In fact, I bet now they just make up the most ridiculous thing that they can think of in hopes that they can prove this formula wrong, but still haven’t managed to come close to finding something that fanatics won’t actually buy. I should know — it all ends up in my house to ensure that I continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Left by @sylphanne (via @RachelTrue on Twitter) who both should actually have to use that crap on their skin as punishment for owning / thinking that sending it to me could ever be a good idea…