Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Celebrities

Hello Kitty Rie Miyazawa Broadway

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:22:16 +0000

This is exactly how my wife thinks all women should dress (seriously) and why she looks forward to Halloween so much. It certainly doesn’t help that she is a huge Rie Miyazawa fan as well which means I have to watch this commercial over and over and over again.

Welcome to a tiny taste of my Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Adora (via tokyomango)

Hello Kitty Kelly Clarkson Garter Belt

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:54:29 +0000

Hello Kitty on anything is a disaster in itself. Give that Hello Kitty item to a celebrity and that disaster only amplifies untold times. Kelly Clarkson x Hello Kitty is a perfect example. I’m not sure what I find more disturbing — the fact that a Hello Kitty garter belt exists or that Kelly Clarkson thinks that a Hello Kitty garter belt should be worn on her head:

Of course, upon seeing this my wife has added the hello Kitty garter belt as a must have to go along with the Hello Kitty wedding dress, the Hello Kitty wedding cake and the Hello Kitty wedding ring as part of her dream Hello Kitty wedding that she wants to have as a second go around since she hadn’t realised her Hello Kitty fanaticism when we originally got married.

Unfortunately, any mention of Hello Kitty and wedding together automatically ensures a worse than usual week in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Amy (via Kelly Clarkson) who should have to wear a Hello Kitty garter belt around her head just like Kelly Clarkson as punishment for getting my wife thinking about Hello Kitty weddings again and ever thinking that sending this photo to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Official Music Video

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:02:15 +0000

Hello Kitty has an official music video, and although it is a terrible song, it does have one highly redeeming value — the words have absolutely nothing to do with Hello Kitty.

The immediate question is why has Hello Kitty decided not to try to ruin the hearing of her legions of fans with the usual sickly sweetness? My guess is that the people at Sanrio figured that both the Hello Kitty theme song and Hello Kitty online theme song had ended up disabling the spending of too many of the fan base by putting them into diabetic music comas, so they needed try something new.

Of course, this change will undoubtedly be a bad thing in the long run. By packaging a random song as an official Hello Kitty music video which has nothing to do with the evil feline, the Sanrio marketing department may have found an easy way to release a new Hello Kitty official music video every week. Pick a random song. Pile lots of Hello Kitty crap in the background. Hello Kitty fanatics can’t resist and go out and buy everything in the video. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

All I know is that the one thing I have learned over the years is that rarely does anything good result in my Hello Kitty Hell when Hello Kitty tries to do something new for whatever reason…

Sent in by daisy who should have to listen to this song 24/7 for the next month as punishment for ever thinking that sending something like this to me would ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Lady Gaga Barbie

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:32:24 +0000

What is worse than Lady Gaga dressed in a Hello Kitty plush dress? The thought of a line of Lady Gaga Barbies wearing that Hello Kitty plush dress:

My wife took one look at this and thought it was the greatest thing ever (The fact that not every Hello Kitty item can be “the greatest thing ever” seems to be one of those impossibilities that Hello Kitty fanatics conveniently ignore), and thinks it would make a wonderful addition to her collection. I think that when you take three wrongs (Lady Gaga + Barbie + Hello Kitty) and combine them together, they not only don’t make a right, but you have basically set in motion the conditions for the human race to give up all hope. That’s certainly the point in Hello Kitty Hell I reached when I saw it…

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission) who should have to spend her life creating Hello Kitty Lady Gaga Barbies as punishment for ever thinking that sending me this photo could ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Lindsay Lohan Crap

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:47:29 +0000

It seems that Lindsay Lohan has decided that she no longer needs some of her Hello Kitty crap. She has decided to sell it to her fans on a new website which she created for the sole purpose of selling all of her old crap (seriously, you can’t make this stuff up). I can’t decide if it is good news that Lindsay Lohan has actually figured out that Hello Kitty crap is not worth keeping, or beyond evil feline evil that someone will end up with not only Hello Kitty crap, but Hello Kitty crap previously owned by Lindsay Lohan.

Every dog out there owned by a Hello Kitty fanatic is freaking out about this time. It’s pretty humiliating to be dragged around town in a Hello Kitty dog bag, but then having the owner tell everyone that it was also once owned by Lindsay Lohan would pretty much put the poor mutt on par with having a Hello Kitty dog tattoo (and you noticed that that dog ran away the first chance it got).

Lindsay also has another bag for sale:

My wife thinks it’s great that celebrities want to share their love of Hello Kitty with their fans. I see this as a new and unexpected twist in Hello Kitty Hell that could have horrifying consequences. Could there really be anything worse than collecting celebrity pre-owned Hello Kitty crap? Hello Kitty Hell, as I have found out time and again, can always get worse…

Sent in by Nancy who should have to dress in pre-owned Lindsay Lohan clothes for the rest of her life as punishment for ever thinking that letting my wife know about this could ever be anything buy disastrous…

Hello Kitty Mano Erina

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:32:03 +0000

If you want to thoroughly traumatize your ears and eyes, while at the same time wasting two minutes of your life, all you have to do is listen to the high pitch, diabetes inducing noise of Mano Erina’s song Love & Peace = Paradise (Hello Kitty version of course). Having people scratch their fingernails on chalkboards would be less painful and much more appealing to the ears. You have been warned:

Sent in by Lillian

Hello Kitty Girl Mike Carroll Skateboard Decks

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:27:45 +0000

The evil feline knows how to make a generation of real skateboarders want to purposely road rash themselves to death. When Hello Kitty gets the endorsement of Hilary Duff for skateboarding, skateboarders can roll their eyes knowing that their sport is safe and has nothing to worry about. When Mike Carroll creates Hello Kitty skateboard decks for Girl, you know that Hello Kitty has no mercy when recruiting members to the dark side…

Sent in by danny.

Hello Kitty Sid Vicious Sex Pistols Mural

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 18:14:38 +0000

The evil feline has no shame. It was obvious that the entire Three Apples 35th Anniversary celebration was going to be Pepto Bismol pink Hell from the beginning, and the appearance of Paris Hilton made things that much worse. Now that photos from the event are being sent to me left and right (seriously folks, I’ve already seen far more than I ever want to see of this event), this travesty shows that Hello Kitty will try to brand herself to absolutely anything — there is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty Sid Vicious mural:

When I nearly fell out of my chair in disgust upon seeing this, my wife asked me what the problem was. I explained that they had painted Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols wearing Hello Kitty to which she replied: “Who is Sid Vicious and what are the Sex Pistols?”

As I explained, a tear of hopelessness dropped from the corner of my eye knowing that all is not right in the world when my wife’s first introduction to the Sex Pistols is through Hello Kitty. That, my friends, is true Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by David who should have to spend the rest of his days apologizing to all Sex Pistol fans as punishment for making a grown man cry and for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Paris Hilton Three Apples

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:15:27 +0000

As if there weren’t already 100 reasons not to attend the Three Apples Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary ~~gala~~ torture chamber, the fact that Paris Hilton showed up pretty much ensured that the whole event would have been unbearably painful:

Of course, this news made my wife all the more disappointed that we would not attend (someone up there has actually decided to look down kindly on me and spare me from this hellish event — it’s not often I get a reprieve in Hello Kitty Hell and can be thankful). In the Hello Kitty fanatic’s mind, when celebrities endorse the evil feline, this somehow makes her more legitimate and she thinks this will in some way sway me of my opinion. Unfortunately, my wife doesn’t understand that Paris Hilton usually has the exact opposite effect on most people, which goes to show why Hello Kitty and Paris Hilton are so right for each other — and why I will continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by greta who should have to spend all her time listening to Hello Kitty and Paris Hilton songs as punishment for ever thinking it would be a good idea to send this to me and getting my wife on the whole “I’m so disappointed we couldn’t go” theme which I will have to listen to for the rest of the week…

Hello Kitty Porn Star Tera Patrick

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:01:35 +0000

The evil feline has no qualms about being seen with anyone and everyone in the hopes of making an extra sale, as her association with Tera Patrick shows. Hey, porn stars love Hello Kitty too and someone needs to be hawking those “shoulder massagers”:

Sent in by Georga