The story is how Hello Kitty came to be…that a mother or father, depending on the version of the story had a child that had cancer. The parent made a pact with the devil that if the child was cured they would create a character in the devil’s honor that would be adored worldwide. There are different variations but they all boil down to the point that Hello Kitty is evil and that God fearing people should stay away from any HK products as they are affiliated with the Devil and Devil worship.

While this is not technically true, it’s hard to dismiss completely since Sanrio likes to use the devil theme on many of their products:

This is how I assume this rumor came to be:

Sanrio was running out of products on which to place the evil feline and decided that one demographic they had not yet converted in large numbers were devil worshippers. Since the goal of Hello Kitty is world domination, the corporate offices made up a story that would appeal to devil worshippers and began sending out the email. The plan has worked brilliantly and you can now count several hundred thousand devil worshippers as ardent Hello Kitty fans. While this may at first appear to be over the top and unbelievable, remember that Sanrio still officially pretends that their shoulder massager is nothing more than a shoulder massager. When you think about, all of a sudden this makes a whole lot more sense. Just saying…

Sent in by Bob

Here is the explanation that came with the photo:

Recently my best friend and I graduated from college. We were both graduating from colleges in different states and we wanted to make sure that we were somehow experiencing graduation “together,” so we bedazzeled our graduation caps with Hello Kitty.

I’d like to say that we were the only people to do this at our graduations, but unfortunately there were kitties everywhere, on a lot of caps.

We did this with your website in mind because we love it so much and we are obsessed with Hello Kitty! Just because you’re graduating from college doesn’t mean you can’t love Hello Kitty!

Elizabeth – Cal State University, San Marcos (left)
Severina – University of North Texas (right)

I’m not sure what the worst part of this explanation is. It is certainly bad enough that they felt that the best way to celebrate graduation together was to put Hello Kitty on their graduation caps. It is far worse that there seems to be a terrible genetic defect in the young adult populations that makes far too many think Hello Kitty graduations caps are a good idea. Then there is the totally incomprehensible part about the idea being inspired by this blog (apparently it is asking far too much of Hello Kitty fanatics to actually read what I write…)

Of course, Sanrio has probably seen this and is now thinking, “Hello Kitty College! Brilliant!” and it won’t be long before you can graduate with a BA in Hello Kitty (my wife truly thinks this is a wonderful idea despite the sarcasm that was dripping in large globs from my words when saying it). Just one more thing to fear in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Elizabeth who should have to show this photo to every significant other she has (so that they have the chance to run…fast) as punishment for ever thinking that I would ever want to even comprehend that people would want to do something like this…

Update: Because Hello Kitty fanatics love nothing more than ruining graduation for everyone else:

Sent in by Thu who wore this at her graduation with a Master’s degree from Chapman University, Orange, CA (I’m guessing the degree was either in terrorism or torture)

Now most people would see the above as proof that the evil feline had finally reached her limits. Of course, they would be wrong. Hello Kitty is always able to make something that one would assume could never get worse, oh so much more so. The Hello Kitty men’s skimpy briefs are further proof of this:

According to their product description, these Hello Kitty men’s briefs are the following (their wording):

Low rise men’s briefs underwear. So sexy, so lovely, so cute! Make you so Shining!

I don’t even want to think what will happen when my wife sees that these are available because it will surely mean moving to further depths of Hello Kitty Hell…

Left in the comments by Clint Catalyst who should be forced to wear these every day for the rest of his life as punishment for ever thinking that letting me know about these could possibly result in anything positive…

The delusion that I would not meet the evil feline even in the emergency room was soon shattered. While I managed to avoid the Hello Kitty blood pressure gauge, I wasn’t so lucky when it came to what the nurse that did the initial screening wore when checking me into the emergency room – Hello Kitty scrubs:

As soon as my wife saw the scrubs, she was instantly more interested in them than my health and more concerned where she could get them that whether or not I was going to die. As the nurse tried to get vital information that might determine whether I lived or died, my wife peppered her with questions of where she could obtain such a “cute and wonderful uniform.”

The nurse, being the true professional that she was, not only was happy to engage in a fifteen minute conversation with my wife about all the different patterns of Hello Kitty scrubs that exist, but also gave her information on how she could purchase them. The only positive thing about the entire process was that the nurse didn’t manage to leave a Hello Kitty bruise on my arm when she drew my blood (something my wife was rooting for) and the fact that I now have a reason never to get sick again in my life…

This again shows me that Hello Kitty condoms may not be as bad as I first imagined since it would spare my children the above to the order of several magnitudes…

Sent in by Natalie of her friend’s 4 month-old baby, Naomi, who already looks ready to call child services on her parents to try and escape the Hello Kitty Hell that she finds herself in…

Of course, official Hello Kitty Nikes are never enough for Hello Kitty fanatics, so there are also plenty of Hello Kitty Nike shoe mods out there as well:

It’s never a good sign for the world in general (and definitely not when you live in Hello kitty Hell) when it is possible for a woman to have a pair of shoes for absolutely any occasion that have been branded with the evil feline…

Sent in by Lauren (customs via queen of sneekers) who should be forced to wear Hello Kitty shoes everyday for the rest of her life as punishment for tipping off my wife that there are some other Hello Kittified shoes that she now feel she needs to add to her already overstocked collection…

Sent in by zaphod

Sent in by Kate

Of course, Hello Kitty fanatics have been doing the Hello Kitty snuggie bathrobe mod for years now, as this unfortunate soul shows:

Sent in by marcia (first photo unknown, second photo via Hello Kitty Limited)

Update: Let’s hope this isn’t a growing trend or that people think it is acceptable to wearing these in public:

Left by JaniceLlamoca on Twitter

Sent in by Sevi

Left by mybffmatty on Twitter

And the first image from the Hello Kitty significant other post

Sent in by Melanie