Hello Kitty Girl Mike Carroll Skateboard Decks
Hello Kitty Assault Rifle (update)
Hello Kitty Schoolgirl
Hello Kitty LCD TV (update)

And now onto the contest…

I have been able to breathe a sigh of relief because the Hello Kitty toaster and both the pink and black Hello Kitty “shoulder massagers” are on their way to new homes that are — and this is quite significant — not where I live.

Of all the things that came in the unwanted, creepy Hello Kitty package that turned out not to be so creepy, the only one that I don’t think that my wife has in her collection is the Hello Kitty optical mouse and mousepad:

That is not to say that she doesn’t have Hello Kitty mice and mouse pads – she has plenty of both to the point where she has even purchased me one for Xmas a couple of years ago – I just don’t think she has this particular pattern.

This fact makes this giveaway a bit riskier than the others since there is no way of knowing how my wife will react when she finds out, but this has not lessened my determination to make sure that the contents of that box don’t end up in my wife’s collection (especially since the cheeks on the mouse supposedly light up. I don’t want to have to spend a month listening to how cute and adorable that is every time my wife uses the computer).

Entry into this contest is going to be a bit different than just leaving a comment and will help me clean up this blog at the same time. If you have been following this blog for any amount of time, you will know that my posts often have many spelling and grammatical mistakes in them. While I’d love to lay the full blame of this on the evil feline (and part of this is true because I don’t feel like spending any more time on this blog than is necessary to get the next inexplicable Hello Kittified item up), the other is that I simply suck at writing.

For this contest, find a spelling or grammatical mistake in any post (not comments since I didn’t write those) and point it out to enter the contest. Your post should have the following 3 bits of information:

1. The url of the page that has the mistake
2. The paragraph (1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.) in the post that has the mistake
3. The correction of the mistake

For every mistake that you find, you get one entry into the contest. You may enter as many times as you like. If you find more than one mistake on a post, be sure to list each one separately as a comment so that you get an entry for each. The more mistakes you point out to me, the better your chance to win. I know there are hundreds of mistakes in this blog so there are plenty of chances to enter.

I will have a random number generated for all the comments left below. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the mouse and mouse pad, which will be sent out by my parents.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Friday November 20th so there is plenty of time to look around and find the errors. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world except at my address in Japan.

Sent in by crystal (and also left via facebook)

Even worse than the evil feline’s image is that the fear doesn’t stop with the sight of it. When the grenade is used, the following sound effects accompany it:

Flash will go “Meow”
Frag will go “Hisssssss”
Smoke will go “Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

Not only does it terrorize you with its looks, it mocks you before it completely destroys your life. Sounds a lot like Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Friedrich (via fpsbanana) who should have to play all his computer games from now on with Hello Kitty head-to-toe clad characters as punishment for ever thinking that sending something like this to me could be a good idea…

The evil feline has decided that she wants to dominate in every computer niche and turn the world of computing pink. She already has the Hello Kitty netbook covered, so it was obviously time in her mind to Kittify a nettop.

Of course, my wife absolutely loves this one and wants one. It doesn’t matter that she already has a Hello Kitty laptop which means that she’ll try to convince me that I need a new computer (which will just happen to be this one). Yet another day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by sarah (via akihabaranews) who should have to work on one of these pink atrocities as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea.

What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?

“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, let’s not even go there. I guess my life has become so Hello Kittified that I have a hard time distinguishing between Hello Kitty bad, Hello Kitty worse and Hello Kitty worst. So here’s a challenge/question – what are the top three worst Hello Kitty items I have listed on this blog (yes, I know there are a number of items even worse that I have not listed, but I try to keep this blog semi family safe) and why do you think so?

I’m hoping that some of you will be able to put together a rational explanation that I can give to my wife to show her that some of this crap is downright crazy — all while not getting me sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know. It isn’t going to work, but I have found that deluding myself that there is hope of one day escaping from Hello Kitty Hell makes the Hello Kitty toast and coffee go down easier in the morning…

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump:

Hello Kitty DragonCon Pasties Nightmare
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
Hello Kitty Minivan
Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Laptop
Hello Kitty Robot
Hello Kitty Bed
Hello Kitty Rain Boots
Hello Kitty Knife
Hello Kitty Pink Room
Hello Kitty Cutting Board
Hello Kitty Mascot Costumes

And a few photo post updates:

Hello Kitty Bra Shop
Hello Kitty Anime
Hello Kitty Bar
Hello Kitty sandwich

While my wife likes the Medion S1211 (shown above) which comes in both black and white, the one she really thinks that I need is the Hello Kitty Sotec netbook:

There must be something in the Hello Kitty fanatic brain that just doesn’t get the fact that grown men with Hello Kitty gadgets is not only creepy to anyone that sees them, but also greatly increases the chances that they will be spending the night in jail. It certainly looks like I may be facing this unfortunate situation in the near future if my wife has her way — just one more tragedy waiting to become reality in Hello Kitty Hell…

The only possible reason a sane person would do something like this to a computer is if they live in the worst part of town and want to make sure that no matter how many times someone breaks into their place, the thieves won’t leave with the computer. Still, it’s a pretty damn heavy price to pay having to endure the nausea and headaches which surely come to anyone that must look at that thing for more than 5 minutes, let alone use it on a daily basis.

Of course, those that have left the sanity of the real world for Hello Kitty fanaticism take one look at something like this and begin drooling with envy. My wife’s reaction: “Why don’t you make me something like that? It would be a wonderful Xmas gift!” I can tell it’s going to be another long and Hello Kitty Hellish holiday season…

Sent in by Henry who deserves a special place in his own Hello Kitty Hell for not only creating this pink monstrosity, but having the notion that after doing so it would somehow be a good idea to send me photos of the thing…

I warned you…

Sent in by far too many people than is healthy to even know about the evil feline including the people at Sanrio Digital who truly deserved to be banished to this game for life for even coming up with the concept…

As much as I hate to admit it, I think that Sanrio may be onto something here. I mean, I know that every time I see Hello Kitty the only thing that I can think is to run as far away as possible screaming at the top of my lungs and I’m pretty sure that is the reaction of most things (with, of course, the notable exception of Hello Kitty fanatics). Hello Kitty also incites thought so self extermination simply to escape her presence which also works to her advantage in this scenario.

Then again, I have this dark feeling that Hello Kitty’s idea of a virus is anything that doesn’t include Hello Kitty on it which would mean that the only thing which ever would get through the firewall and you could ever view on your computer would be Hello Kitty crap. I also fear that you would have to listen to the Hello Kitty theme song each and every time that a virus was detected. Just the thought of this is turning up the flames in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Havel (via yingdong) who should have to install this and listen to the Hello Kitty theme song daily for ever thinking that sending this to me could produce anything positive…

UPDATE: I guess Hello Kitty needed to make this to protect your computer against herself…(”The worm executable uses an image of the Hello Kitty character for an icon”)

At one time having Hello Kitty as part of a first person shooter computer game would seem to be something that would not quite fit her image, but as we unfortunately know, Hello Kitty also believes that she deserves to dominate this entire genre of video games (as well as flashlight emergency gadgets). So I guess it really shouldn’t be a surprise that as part her never ending quest to Hello Kittify everything possible, she would invade as many other game (see here) as possible.

This, of course, is where Hello Kitty Hell truly becomes hellish. Since my wife knows I enjoy these games, she assumes that adding Hello kitty as part of them will somehow miraculously convert me to the Hello Kitty religion and thinks it would be good for me to “use Hello Kitty as my guiding light” if I insist on playing games like Doom (yes, my meal made its way back up and out when I heard that, and my apologies if it did the same to you…) The fact that nearly 4000 people who play Doom think that the Hello Kitty flashlight mod is a good idea is yet another strike against the thought that humanity will survive — and ensures that Hello Kitty Hell will continue to exist in far too many places…

Sent in by Ashley who deserves to only be able to play computer games while listening to the Hello Kitty theme song as punishment for thinking that anything positive could ever come from sending this information to me…