As if there was really a need to have one more reason to want this season to end as quickly as possible (see Hello Kitty Christmas trees and Hello Kitty ornaments if you had any doubts), this should quickly put the question to rest: a Hello Kitty Christmas music video that is guaranteed to haunt you long after the new year begins (you have been warned)

I did warn you. If you happened to not heed my advice, you now know that both your ears and eyes have experienced far more trauma than they were ever meant to endure which pretty much sums up the entire Hello Kitty Christmas experience.

Sent in by Maria from Hello Kitty Junkie who makes a cameo appearance in the video. The video was also filmed filmed at her apartment which is obviously another den of Hello Kitty Hellishness…

What is worse than a Hello Kitty car? A Hello Kitty car where you are more horrifically distressed inside it than those are on the outside looking at the paint job (and believe me, the people on the outside are trembling with fear). This is why you never let a Hello Kitty fanatic decorate the interior of a car:

Of course, I could be mistaken here. Someone may have simply gotten really sick after drinking a couple of gallons of Pepto-Bismol and simply thrown up all over the inside of the car. On second thought, that is obviously not the case since that would undoubtedly be far more appealing than the interior of this car…

Sent in first by Kayla Z (and then by far too many others)

I knew that once the Hello Kitty Christmas tree showed up in my email before December even began that things weren’t going to go well this holiday season. This feeling was confirmed when someone, for some unfathomable reason, thought it would be a good idea to send me a photo of Hello Kitty Christmas ornaments:

As you might imagine, I’m not looking forward to what other torturous holiday evil feline covered crap will make its way to my email in the next month, but I think we all know that it will be nothing short of Hello Kitty Hellish…

Sent in by Rachel

It is already well established that Hello Kitty wants us to all eventually live in a Hello Kitty house, and she is (unfortunately) making sure that the house has absolutely every accessory that one could imagine — a Hello Kitty home bar, Hello Kitty wall displays and far too many Hello Kitty appliances to mention. Add to these the Hello Kitty chandelier:

Seriously folks, if you walk into a house and see one of these hanging from the ceiling, realise that you are most certainly about to be introduced to unthinkable Hello Kitty torture by the evil feline that’s far beyond anything that you have ever imagined…

Sent in by far too many readers

Apparently (who could have imagined?) there is someone with even more hostility toward the evil feline than I have:

Sent in by Minnie V.

You either had to have done something amazingly horrible in a past life or pissed off your co-workers to no end to deserve to have something like this done to your office cubicle. Either way, it is a good sign that it’s time to find a new job. I think this might even qualify as torture under the Geneva convention.

Sent in by Jose who says, “So a couple of years ago, one of my co-workers brought his lunch that his fiancee had packed in a hello kitty bag because they ran out of regular ones. We (of course) proceeded to mock him mercilessly for a few weeks about it. When he finally got married and went on his honeymoon, this is what we did to his cubicle. It took 5 of us a few hours to do it, and probably even used some pictures from your site.”

There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers, Hello Kitty pasties, Hello Kitty handcuff nightmares and the Hello Kitty love hotel all exist, it shouldn’t be a shock that a Hello Kitty bandage sofa exists:

The mere fact that my wife thinks that this would be a good addition to our house scares me far more than her buying Hello Kitty low rise underwear for me because it ultimately means she thinks a scene like this would be a positive thing. Proof once again that no matter how bad Hello Kitty Hell gets, it finds a way to get worse…

Sent in by Ashley (via etsy) who deserves much more punishment than I could ever reasonably imagine for ever thinking that showing this to me could result in anything but terrifying nightmares for all that see it…

You know that Hello Kitty Hell has gone way beyond reasonable when I keep getting press releases from manufacturers about their new Hello Kitty products. I was never sure exactly what they wanted me to do with them since it was obvious that a site not fond of the evil feline really wouldn’t want to print the false drivel that comes in these press releases.

Then it dawned on me. They must be sending me these press releases so that I can rewrite them to accurately reflect the truth of the situation. Now that is something that I can do:

NAO, the Spanish manufacturer of handcrafted porcelain figurines (which no longer has any integrity and is willing to sell out any artistic form they claim to have to make a few bucks), launches three pieces inspired by the global icon (scourge of the world) Hello Kitty. This collection is the result of a close collaboration between NAO and Sanrio®, the global company that designs and licenses (is willing to pimp out) this well known character (to absolutely anyone and anything if they think it will earn them a buck).

Hello Kitty is world (in)famous, undoubtedly one of the most beloved (despised) characters of all time.

The unique (uninspiring) collection created by the NAO artists accurately translate into porcelain the charm of this international icon (puts together the evil feline in a way that we think it will most appeal to Hello Kitty fanatics so we can make loads of money off of them), created (spawned deep in the farthest depths of hell) in Japan more than thirty-five years ago. The three pieces in this series, Hello Kitty (Evil Feline), Playing with Hello Kitty (Coming Under the Spell of the Evil Feline) and Hello Kitty Gets Married! (Evil Feline Traps Another Poor Soul), are presented in special gift (uselessly decorated) boxes designed exclusively for them (to take more of your hard earned money)…

I simply have no idea why Sanrio doesn’t hire me to do all their press releases?

One would assume that after the Hello Kitty latex bed there would have been enough Hello Kitty kink for the week, but then that would be greatly underestimating how much Hello Kitty loves her sex. This was made readily apparent when I found out that the Hello Kitty S&M love hotel existing was not enough, and someone felt it essential to build another Hello Kitty bondage room:

While I certainly could see how Yoshi would enjoy finding Hello Kitty bound and gagged, I can’t say that I feel the same way. I say this with fear in my voice because I know that if I ever end up in a room like this, I will have something like this looking over me, undoubtedly holding a Hello Kitty flogger in hand. When it is possible for my scariest nightmares to become reality, I know that things are getting worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Joseph (via Kitacon) who should be forced to use the room Hello Kitty bondage room with his girlfriend as punishment for bringing my fears to life and for ever thinking that sending this to me would result in anything positive…

Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself:

Sent in by Essi who found them at a flea market at Finland.