Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Decor

Hello Kitty Pillow Case

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 17:46:32 +0000

Apparently (who could have imagined?) there is someone with even more hostility toward the evil feline than I have:

Sent in by Minnie V.

Hello Kitty Office Cubicle

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 22:50:53 +0000

You either had to have done something amazingly horrible in a past life or pissed off your co-workers to no end to deserve to have something like this done to your office cubicle. Either way, it is a good sign that it’s time to find a new job. I think this might even qualify as torture under the Geneva convention.

Sent in by Jose who says, “So a couple of years ago, one of my co-workers brought his lunch that his fiancee had packed in a hello kitty bag because they ran out of regular ones. We (of course) proceeded to mock him mercilessly for a few weeks about it. When he finally got married and went on his honeymoon, this is what we did to his cubicle. It took 5 of us a few hours to do it, and probably even used some pictures from your site.”

Hello Kitty Bondage Sofa (NSFW and Definitely Not For Your Sanity)

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 23:22:59 +0000

There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers , Hello Kitty pasties, Hello Kitty handcuff nightmares and the Hello Kitty love hotel all exist, it shouldn’t be a shock that a Hello Kitty bandage sofa exists:

The mere fact that my wife thinks that this would be a good addition to our house scares me far more than her buying Hello Kitty low rise underwear for me because it ultimately means she thinks a scene like this would be a positive thing. Proof once again that no matter how bad Hello Kitty Hell gets, it finds a way to get worse…

Sent in by Ashley (via etsy) who deserves much more punishment than I could ever reasonably imagine for ever thinking that showing this to me could result in anything but terrifying nightmares for all that see it…

Hello Kitty Porcelain Figurines

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 08:04:21 +0000

You know that Hello Kitty Hell has gone way beyond reasonable when I keep getting press releases from manufacturers about their new Hello Kitty products. I was never sure exactly what they wanted me to do with them since it was obvious that a site not fond of the evil feline really wouldn’t want to print the false drivel that comes in these press releases.

Then it dawned on me. They must be sending me these press releases so that I can rewrite them to accurately reflect the truth of the situation. Now that is something that I can do:

NAO, the Spanish manufacturer of handcrafted porcelain figurines (which no longer has any integrity and is willing to sell out any artistic form they claim to have to make a few bucks), launches three pieces inspired by the ~~global icon~~ (scourge of the world) Hello Kitty. This collection is the result of a close collaboration between NAO and Sanrio®, the global company that ~~designs and licenses~~ (is willing to pimp out) this well known character (to absolutely anyone and anything if they think it will earn them a buck).

Hello Kitty is world (in)famous, undoubtedly one of the most ~~beloved~~ (despised) characters of all time.

The ~~unique~~ (uninspiring) collection created by the NAO artists accurately ~~translate into porcelain the charm of this international icon~~ (puts together the evil feline in a way that we think it will most appeal to Hello Kitty fanatics so we can make loads of money off of them), ~~created~~ (spawned deep in the farthest depths of hell) in Japan more than thirty-five years ago. The three pieces in this series, ~~Hello Kitty~~ (Evil Feline), ~~Playing with Hello Kitty~~ (Coming Under the Spell of the Evil Feline) and ~~Hello Kitty Gets Married!~~ (Evil Feline Traps Another Poor Soul), are presented in ~~special gift~~ (uselessly decorated) boxes designed exclusively ~~for them~~ (to take more of your hard earned money)…

I simply have no idea why Sanrio doesn’t hire me to do all their press releases?

Hello Kitty Bondage Room

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 23:34:11 +0000

One would assume that after the Hello Kitty latex bed there would have been enough Hello Kitty kink for the week, but then that would be greatly underestimating how much Hello Kitty loves her sex. This was made readily apparent when I found out that the Hello Kitty S&M love hotel existing was not enough, and someone felt it essential to build another Hello Kitty bondage room:

While I certainly could see how Yoshi would enjoy finding Hello Kitty bound and gagged, I can’t say that I feel the same way. I say this with fear in my voice because I know that if I ever end up in a room like this, I will have something like this looking over me, undoubtedly holding a Hello Kitty flogger in hand. When it is possible for my scariest nightmares to become reality, I know that things are getting worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Joseph (via Kitacon) who should be forced to use the room Hello Kitty bondage room with his girlfriend as punishment for bringing my fears to life and for ever thinking that sending this to me would result in anything positive…

Hello Kitty Mouth Mutant

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 22:17:06 +0000

Have you ever wondered why Hello Kitty doesn’t have a mouth? Let me tell you, it has nothing to do with her “only needing to speak from her heart.” It’s because when she has a mouth, you see her as the true mutant that she actually is. See for yourself:

Sent in by Essi who found them at a flea market at Finland.

Hello Kitty Canopy

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:48:22 +0000

I don’t think that guys understand the appeal of canopies over beds in the first place, but that lack of understanding compounds immeasurably when the canopy features the evil feline on it. Let’s hope that my wife fails to find one of these because I can think of nothing more disheartening than waking up in the middle of the night covered in a Hello Kitty net from which there seems to be no escape — kind of like the Hello Kitty Hell I now live in…

Sent in by robin and xgirl

Hello Kitty Shower

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 15:59:59 +0000

My wife absolutely loves this Hello Kitty shower and would like to have one just like it to go along with the Hello Kitty house made of Hello Kitty bricks with Hello Kitty plants in front surrounded by the Hello Kitty picket fence with Hello Kitty display cases and Hello Kitty stained glass windows inside.

I have a slightly different view. I believe a shower is a place that you get clean, but how can any self respecting man take a shower in something like that and not feel dirty afterwards? Just one more thing to worry about in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by annaxray

Hello Kitty Bathroom Mirror

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 21:01:19 +0000

It’s bad enough waking up each morning and seeing Hello Kitty right in front of my face, but now my wife wants to multiply this pain by getting Hello Kitty bathroom mirrors. While she thinks that these are cute, they are simply another heart attack waiting to happen for me. On those nights that I need to go to the bathroom, I’ll get out of bed still half asleep, switch on the light to the bathroom and slowly open my eyes to have a Hello Kitty mirror staring back at me. I wonder how much my wife will like it when there is a Hello Kitty scream of terror to wake her up every night…

Sent in by molly

Hello Kitty Digital Scale

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 07:01:17 +0000

We already have a Hello Kitty scale, but that doesn’t stop my wife from wanting other ones that she comes across. I find the whole idea rather ironic since the last thing that my wife wants to know from the evil feline is what she weighs. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Hello Kitty digital scale actually malfunctions on purpose so that it gives the wrong weight (to keep the Hello Kitty fanatics happy), or maybe it gives the weight in apples (if you know why this reference is significant, you know too much about Hello Kitty) so that it is impossible to tell. No matter what the truth is, it’s just another piece of Hello Kitty junk to add onto the pile in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by appleworm

Update: It looks like Sanrio is moving closer to that weight in apples theory I had with the Hello Kitty apple digital scale (sent in by martha)