Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Fashion

Hello Kitty Rie Miyazawa Broadway

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:22:16 +0000

This is exactly how my wife thinks all women should dress (seriously) and why she looks forward to Halloween so much. It certainly doesn’t help that she is a huge Rie Miyazawa fan as well which means I have to watch this commercial over and over and over again.

Welcome to a tiny taste of my Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Adora (via tokyomango)

Hello Kitty Devil Worship

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:59:18 +0000

Apparently there is a rumor going around that Hello Kitty was created as a result of a pact with the devil. While I would like to claim that this idea was mine (hey, I live in Hello Kitty Hell), it turns out that this episode is far more sinister:

The story is how Hello Kitty came to be…that a mother or father, depending on the version of the story had a child that had cancer. The parent made a pact with the devil that if the child was cured they would create a character in the devil’s honor that would be adored worldwide. There are different variations but they all boil down to the point that Hello Kitty is evil and that God fearing people should stay away from any HK products as they are affiliated with the Devil and Devil worship.

While this is not technically true, it’s hard to dismiss completely since Sanrio likes to use the devil theme on many of their products:

This is how I assume this rumor came to be:

Sanrio was running out of products on which to place the evil feline and decided that one demographic they had not yet converted in large numbers were devil worshippers. Since the goal of Hello Kitty is world domination, the corporate offices made up a story that would appeal to devil worshippers and began sending out the email. The plan has worked brilliantly and you can now count several hundred thousand devil worshippers as ardent Hello Kitty fans. While this may at first appear to be over the top and unbelievable, remember that Sanrio still officially pretends that their shoulder massager is nothing more than a shoulder massager. When you think about, all of a sudden this makes a whole lot more sense. Just saying…

Sent in by Bob

Hello Kitty Biker Girl

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 01:14:05 +0000

You probably believe that when the end of the world arrives, things are going to get bad. What you don’t realise is just how bad that may be. I have no doubt this is exactly what you will see staring at you — and you will instantly know that there is no hope.

There isn’t much that could make one wish for a zombie attack, but all of a sudden an earth full of zombies seems mild by comparison. Of course, if there were a zombie attack, Hello Kitty would make sure that she was also a part of that. Just one more reminder that in the end, we will all be suffering in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Thomas

Hello Kitty I Can Has Cheezburger

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:45:08 +0000

Proof positive that a meme has gone way to far is when the evil feline thinks it’s a good idea to be part of it:

Lolcats around the world are either controllably weeping or now coming to the realisation that this is isn’t a joke to the people at Sanrio. Either way, I now officially welcome all cats around the world to my Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Pedicure

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 17:00:19 +0000

It is already well established that Hello Kitty fanatics love their claws. One would assume seeing that sampling of what Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to do to their nails pretty much sums up the worst of the worst, but that would be highly underestimating Hello Kitty fanatics. Case in point: the Hello Kitty pedicure:

My wife absolutely loves the Hello Kitty toe nails and wants some for herself. She couldn’t stop squealing with high pitched Hello Kitty delight as she wondered out loud why she had not thought of doing that herself.

My reaction was quite different. Upon seeing them, I immediately recognized that the perfect torture technique had been developed. Instead of torturing a prisoner by slowly ripping of their finger and toe nails off with pliers, all you would have to do is show them the Hello Kitty manicure and pedicure. The person being detained would instantly recognize that ripping off their own nails would be vastly less painful than having Hello Kitty placed on them and having to look at them 24/7. Something I’m sure I have to look forward doing to myself in the near future if Hello Kitty Hell continues down it’s current path…

Left on twitter by @PinkVelvetDream via Pink Velvet who has obviously brought so much more pain and suffering upon herself by creating these than I could ever imagine wishing upon her for ever thinking that it would be a good idea to send them to me…

Hello Kitty Graduation Cap

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 19 May 2010 21:06:23 +0000

It is when I get emails like this that I fear for the future generations of the human race. There really should be a rule at every college that if you feel that Hello Kitty should be on your graduation cap when you are about to graduate, you forfeit your degree and have to begin your education from kindergarten again:

Here is the explanation that came with the photo:

Recently my best friend and I graduated from college. We were both graduating from colleges in different states and we wanted to make sure that we were somehow experiencing graduation “together,” so we bedazzeled our graduation caps with Hello Kitty.

I’d like to say that we were the only people to do this at our graduations, but unfortunately there were kitties everywhere, on a lot of caps.

We did this with your website in mind because we love it so much and we are obsessed with Hello Kitty! Just because you’re graduating from college doesn’t mean you can’t love Hello Kitty!

Elizabeth – Cal State University, San Marcos (left)
Severina – University of North Texas (right)

I’m not sure what the worst part of this explanation is. It is certainly bad enough that they felt that the best way to celebrate graduation together was to put Hello Kitty on their graduation caps. It is far worse that there seems to be a terrible genetic defect in the young adult populations that makes far too many think Hello Kitty graduations caps are a good idea. Then there is the totally incomprehensible part about the idea being inspired by this blog (apparently it is asking far too much of Hello Kitty fanatics to actually read what I write…)

Of course, Sanrio has probably seen this and is now thinking, “Hello Kitty College! Brilliant!” and it won’t be long before you can graduate with a BA in Hello Kitty (my wife truly thinks this is a wonderful idea despite the sarcasm that was dripping in large globs from my words when saying it). Just one more thing to fear in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Elizabeth who should have to show this photo to every significant other she has (so that they have the chance to run…fast) as punishment for ever thinking that I would ever want to even comprehend that people would want to do something like this…

Update: Because Hello Kitty fanatics love nothing more than ruining graduation for everyone else:

Sent in by Thu who wore this at her graduation with a Master’s degree from Chapman University, Orange, CA (I’m guessing the degree was either in terrorism or torture)

Hello Kitty Kelly Clarkson Garter Belt

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:54:29 +0000

Hello Kitty on anything is a disaster in itself. Give that Hello Kitty item to a celebrity and that disaster only amplifies untold times. Kelly Clarkson x Hello Kitty is a perfect example. I’m not sure what I find more disturbing — the fact that a Hello Kitty garter belt exists or that Kelly Clarkson thinks that a Hello Kitty garter belt should be worn on her head:

Of course, upon seeing this my wife has added the hello Kitty garter belt as a must have to go along with the Hello Kitty wedding dress, the Hello Kitty wedding cake and the Hello Kitty wedding ring as part of her dream Hello Kitty wedding that she wants to have as a second go around since she hadn’t realised her Hello Kitty fanaticism when we originally got married.

Unfortunately, any mention of Hello Kitty and wedding together automatically ensures a worse than usual week in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Amy (via Kelly Clarkson) who should have to wear a Hello Kitty garter belt around her head just like Kelly Clarkson as punishment for getting my wife thinking about Hello Kitty weddings again and ever thinking that sending this photo to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Baby Stuff

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 23:04:10 +0000

The issue with Hello Kitty baby stuff is that there is actually some unfortunate baby in the world that has to wear and be surrounded by it because, for some unfathomable reason, the parent worshipping the evil feline thinks that it is cute. Now, this baby will likely seek unimaginable revenge upon the offending parent for doing this to her when she is old enough to realize the child abuse that had been thrust upon her (unfortunately, I also must say “or him” — the sad fact is that Hello Kitty fanatics don’t really care). In their early formative years, however, they are absolutely defenseless to the torturous indoctrination. Skeptical? This is what happens to a baby that ends up with a Hello Kitty fanatic that has access to Hello Kitty baby stuff:

This again shows me that Hello Kitty condoms may not be as bad as I first imagined since it would spare my children the above to the order of several magnitudes…

Sent in by Natalie of her friend’s 4 month-old baby, Naomi, who already looks ready to call child services on her parents to try and escape the Hello Kitty Hell that she finds herself in…

Hello Kitty Bow Ring

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:23:26 +0000

There really should be a law that prohibits the combination of Hello Kitty and rings which should have been evident from the Hello Kitty wedding rings. Of course, the evil feline would never let the horror stop there. Case in point — another hideous left-over from the Three Apples event which should obviously die a fiery death, but people keep insisting on sending me: The Hello Kitty bow ring.

I guess Hello Kitty fanatics like the boxing glove look (although I must admit that simply seeing this makes me want to punch something)…

Sent in by far too many people who obviously have way too much time on their hands and are clinically blind.

Hello Kitty Nike Shoes

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:04:36 +0000

It was bound to happen. When there were already Hello Kitty Converse high tops, Hello Kitty Reeboks, Hello Kitty Asics (even Hello Kitty bowling shoes), you knew that Hello Kitty would make sure to dig her claws nice and deep into Nike:

Of course, official Hello Kitty Nikes are never enough for Hello Kitty fanatics, so there are also plenty of Hello Kitty Nike shoe mods out there as well:

It’s never a good sign for the world in general (and definitely not when you live in Hello kitty Hell) when it is possible for a woman to have a pair of shoes for absolutely any occasion that have been branded with the evil feline…

Sent in by Lauren (customs via queen of sneekers) who should be forced to wear Hello Kitty shoes everyday for the rest of her life as punishment for tipping off my wife that there are some other Hello Kittified shoes that she now feel she needs to add to her already overstocked collection…