Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Fashion

Hello Kitty Bow Ring

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:23:26 +0000

There really should be a law that prohibits the combination of Hello Kitty and rings which should have been evident from the Hello Kitty wedding rings. Of course, the evil feline would never let the horror stop there. Case in point — another hideous left-over from the Three Apples event which should obviously die a fiery death, but people keep insisting on sending me: The Hello Kitty bow ring.

I guess Hello Kitty fanatics like the boxing glove look (although I must admit that simply seeing this makes me want to punch something)…

Sent in by far too many people who obviously have way too much time on their hands and are clinically blind.

Hello Kitty Nike Shoes

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:04:36 +0000

It was bound to happen. When there were already Hello Kitty Converse high tops, Hello Kitty Reeboks, Hello Kitty Asics (even Hello Kitty bowling shoes), you knew that Hello Kitty would make sure to dig her claws nice and deep into Nike:

Of course, official Hello Kitty Nikes are never enough for Hello Kitty fanatics, so there are also plenty of Hello Kitty Nike shoe mods out there as well:

It’s never a good sign for the world in general (and definitely not when you live in Hello kitty Hell) when it is possible for a woman to have a pair of shoes for absolutely any occasion that have been branded with the evil feline…

Sent in by Lauren (customs via queen of sneekers) who should be forced to wear Hello Kitty shoes everyday for the rest of her life as punishment for tipping off my wife that there are some other Hello Kittified shoes that she now feel she needs to add to her already overstocked collection…

Hello Kitty Superheroes

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 17:17:55 +0000

Seriously, if my wife ever is able to convince me to go out in an outfit like this, just shoot me. Sometimes there is nothing more to say.

Sent in by Amy who should have to dress up like this everyday for the rest of her life as punishment for creating the thought in my wife’s mind that this would be “a cute and wonderful costume” for us to wear next Halloween (I’m moving back to Japan before that happens), and for ever thinking that anything good would come of sending it to me…

Hello Kitty President Obama

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:49:26 +0000

Wars? The economy? Global warming? You would think that the President of the United States would have enough worries on his plate these days with all the current crisis that exist, but things just got a whole lot worse for him and he probably doesn’t even know it. The evil feline has set her sights on invading his territory and has moved into a position just a couple of seats away. If you think things weren’t looking good before, wait until the president faces Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Stacy who has confirmed that the world is much closer to doom that anyone ever imagined…

Hello Kitty Wig

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 04:51:26 +0000

One would assume that it would be difficult to make anything worse than the Hello Kitty head that has tormented cats (even dead ones), dogs (including those doubly unfortunate enough to belong to Perez Hilton), babies and those related to fanatics who somehow feel this is cute. On a similar note, it would seem nearly impossible to make your hair worse than by doing a Lady Gaga and shaping it into a giant bow. Of course, this would be highly underestimating the evil feline and her great ability to take two terrible ideas and meld them together to make something far worse. Case in point, I introduce the Hello Kitty wig:

For some unfathomable reason, my wife thinks that this is adorable and would be fun to wear around. Something about being able to wear your hair as Hello Kitty on a daily basis or something like that, but to tell the truth, I’m not sure exactly what she was saying because as soon as I heard the word “adorable,” I immediately tuned out everything she said. I knew my head would explode in excruciating pain if I actually had to hear somebody explaining how this could be cute, and my self preservation instinct kicked in.

So my wife does have a reason, but I hope I never find out what it actually is. Then again, the fear that she might spontaneously decide to tell me again when my defenses are down pretty much ensures more Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Lynn (via princessdelacoiffure) who should have to listen to my wife explain exactly why she finds it adorable again and again until she grows tired of doing so (never) as punishment for ever thinking that sending this photo to me could result in anything positive.

Hello Kitty Kilt

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 22:46:36 +0000

True to form, Hello Kitty has an entire nation of ancestors rolling over in their graves. You knew that something like this would have to be made because if there was one image that had not yet been terrifyingly burned into my brain, it was a man wearing a Hello Kitty skirt. The evil feline can now cross that off her list of things to torture me with:

Sent in by zaphod

Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton Purse

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 08:55:13 +0000

As I have said plenty of times in the past, if the evil feline thinks that she can make a buck, she will do whatever it takes to do it. While I have no doubt that Hello Kitty is in talks with Louis Vuitton about making a Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton bag, apparently those discussions aren’t going fast enough. Now most companies would try to negotiate harder if there was a problem, but not Hello Kitty. She simply steals the style and makes her own Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton purse:

Even though I tried to explain to my wife that the people at Louis Vuitton probably aren’t real happy about this development, I soon realized that you never, ever want to mention the words “Hello Kitty” and “Louis Vuitton” in the same sentence in front of a Hello Kitty fanatic. The fact that they will not hear a thing that you say for the next few days as drool slops out the side of their mouths in buckets at the thought of owning such a purse is tolerable. Unfortunately, it’s not nearly as tolerable when they recover from that stage, and it becomes a never ending whine fest since they know that it exists, but they aren’t sure where they can get it (and they let you know every second that they sure as hell are going to get it). Unfortunately, the sad fact is that whether she finds it or not, the end result is only going to increase the current temperature of my Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Alex who deserves to live a life in second hand clothes several generations out of style as punishment for ever thinking that letting my wife know that this exists would cause anything put pain and misery for me…

Hello Kitty 1974 Finger Costume

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:50:46 +0000

I have a simple policy of not telling Hello Kitty fanatics where they can get the stuff on this blog. That doesn’t stop those that worship the evil feline from complaining and whining. When they realize that their tantrums have little effect on me, they move onto the next stage of trying to bribe me for the information. One Hello Kitty fanatic was so desperate that she offered to send me naked photos of herself for information on where to get stuff (yeah, like that would go over well with my wife…). The latest of these attempts was this costume — with the claim that this is the best Hello Kitty costume ever:

Once she sent the photo and made the “best Hello Kitty costume ever” claim, she sent another email:

now if you agree; you HAVE 2 tell mi where yu got the hat and mittens from ; so i can wear em @ mi nxt even whn its friggin cold — breeze

The first and most obvious problem here is that it’s impossible to ascertain what the hell she is even trying to say, but that seems to be the signature of many Hello Kitty fans. The second problem is that Hello Kitty fans seem to believe that they can somehow convert me to liking Hello Kitty by trying to make her sexy. This ends up having the exact opposite effect of producing nothing short of nightmare after nightmare. It also doesn’t help to have Hello Kitty directly showing me what she does to me on a daily basis in Hello Kitty Hell.

Given that I live in Hello Kitty Hell, I am obviously more than a bit biased when it comes to judging Hello Kitty costumes. Maybe having viewed life for far too long through Pepto Bismol pink colored sunglasses has made me even more jaded than even I assume I am.

So you be the judge. Is this the best Hello Kitty costume ever and does she deserve to get information that I clearly say that I will not provide?

Hello Kitty Bratz Lady Gaga Dress

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 20:17:54 +0000

Apparently Bratz doesn’t feel that Barbie should be the only one to get to wear the dress. It really doesn’t make a difference what doll is wearing it. It’s going to give the average non Hello Kitty fanatic nightmares…

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission)

Hello Kitty Lady Gaga Barbie

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 18:32:24 +0000

What is worse than Lady Gaga dressed in a Hello Kitty plush dress? The thought of a line of Lady Gaga Barbies wearing that Hello Kitty plush dress:

My wife took one look at this and thought it was the greatest thing ever (The fact that not every Hello Kitty item can be “the greatest thing ever” seems to be one of those impossibilities that Hello Kitty fanatics conveniently ignore), and thinks it would make a wonderful addition to her collection. I think that when you take three wrongs (Lady Gaga + Barbie + Hello Kitty) and combine them together, they not only don’t make a right, but you have basically set in motion the conditions for the human race to give up all hope. That’s certainly the point in Hello Kitty Hell I reached when I saw it…

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission) who should have to spend her life creating Hello Kitty Lady Gaga Barbies as punishment for ever thinking that sending me this photo could ever be a good idea…