I knew that things weren’t going to be good as soon as Hello Kitty duct tape came to existence. This was quickly confirmed with the Hello Kitty duct tape purse and then there was absolutely no doubt with the Hello Kitty duct tape dress. Of course, fanatics of the evil feline couldn’t leave bad enough alone and decided that a Hello Kitty duct tape bra was in order:

The sad (and extremely terrifying) part of all this is that you know it won’t end here and that the people at Sanrio are probably already at the drawing board thinking up a complete Hello Kitty duct tape fashion line. Somehow I have a feeling that 2012 isn’t going to provide much of an escape from Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Miss Meow Detroit

You know that you really can’t take a fashion magazine seriously when they are willing to place the evil feline on the cover. You know they have gone completely insane when they think that doing a double cover is something that’s acceptable. We know that Elle Taiwan editors have guzzled the Kool Aid with their December Elle Hello Kitty magazine double cover:

I guess it really shouldn’t surprise me that this would come from a country that has a Hello Kitty hospital and a Hello Kitty airline (along with the Hello Kitty airport), but it still disturbs me to no end…

Sent in by so many people that I do have some serious doubts about the sanity of this world…

There is this extremely unfortunate (and frightening) notion among Hello Kitty fanatics that wearing very little clothing in conjunction with the evil feline is somehow a good thing. I think this photo proves that this notion is definitely not the case:

The worst part is that this isn’t even a Hello Kitty costume which pretty much ensures a Hello Kitty Hellish day for anyone that has to lay eyes on it…

Left by Whitney Rose on Facebook

The people at Sanrio have gotten to the point that they aren’t even trying anymore. Seriously. The don’t care at all because they know that the fanatics will buy anything. I think they have even reached the point of actively trying to see if they can find anything that Hello Kitty fanatics won’t buy. There really is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty sandwich ring:

I’m sure that the conversation to get this in production went something like this:

New Sanrio Employee: “We need to make a new Hello Kitty ring. I’m stressed because I can’t think of anything good that we haven’t already done. Any ideas?”

Veteran Sanrio Employee: “Just make anything that comes to mind.”

New Sanrio Employee: “Anything? That’s crazy.”

Veteran Sanrio Employee: “Nothing to stress about. Just make whatever you are thinking about at this instant.”

New Sanrio Employee: “I’m thinking about having a sandwich for lunch.”

Veteran Sanrio Employee:: “Perfect! Go for it.”

New Sanrio Employee: “That’s insane. Nobody will ever buy a Hello Kitty sandwich ring.”

Veteran Sanrio Employee:: “You haven’t been here that long, have you?”

Sent in by Anna

We all instinctively know that Hello Kitty guns are an extremely bad idea. There is no need to show us. In fact, we also know instinctively that if we did see a fanatic with guns that we would cringe in the best case scenario and our brains would be scarred for life in the worst. This photo dramatically shows us the worst case scenario:

This could actually be an effective way for the anti gun lobby to find success against the NRA. If this doesn’t encourage legislatures to make laws promoting gun control, I don’t know what ever would…

Sent in by Nuggsandjuggs

While I’m not a big fan of any of the Hello Kitty costumes that are out there, I’m especially horrified with this one. I think that this Hello Kitty mummy cosplay model confirms, without a doubt, that Hello Kitty supports eating disorders:

Of course, a skeleton thin dead and rotting corpse lumbering after you does accurately sum up what it feels like living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Annie (via laforet)

This is all part of the Hello Kitty Mega Monster Cosplay Collection. If you really want to see something terrifying this Halloween, simply watch the video. I guarantee you won’t sleep well for weeks:

Sent in by Victoria

I knew this was coming. I secretly prayed that it wouldn’t, but the mere fact that the evil feline exists pretty much proves that there is no God. It has become an annual torture fest beginning with Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkins landing in my email, then eventually a Hello Kitty Halloween costume ending up there as well. Although I had tried to mentally prepare myself for horror that would undoubtedly appear, I had no idea what an utterly frightening mess it would be. Judge for yourself:

Let’s hope that this fashion disaster convinces all the other fanatics out there that a Hello Kitty Halloween costume is just not in their best interest, and definitely not in the best interest of all the innocent bystanders whose minds will undoubtedly be scarred for life…

Sent in by Tawny

Update: Well, it certainly didn’t take long for the fanatics to prove that they do not learn from example…

Left by Elizabeth on Facebook

Left by Annette on Facebook

One would assume that since Hello Kitty has no mouth that she wouldn’t be able to speak, and thus there wouldn’t be any Hello Kitty quotes that my wife could constantly reference. Of course, that would make way too much sense which is definitely not the way the evil feline works. In fact, she has what would appear to be the most ludicrous quotes in the world to anyone other than a HK fanatic. Take for example, my wife’s favorite Hello Kitty quote:

It’s good to know that Hello Kitty is setting such a wonderfully realistic example for all the young girls out there. I mean, it really does make sense that she supports the whole “Think happy thoughts…and boys will bring you diamonds!” mentality since it means nothing more than “Think happy thoughts…and boys will bring you overvalued pieces of a relatively common stone which has a high value due solely to an orchestrated advertising campaign by a cartel that uses child slave labor to mine its product.” I don’t think anyone can disagree that’s a pretty accurate depiction of what Hello Kitty is all about…

There are some things in life that when I see, I give thanks that I was somehow spared from the Hello Kitty Hellishness. That is exactly how I feel about this recent Hello Kitty by Swarovski event in Japan (prepare for 5 minutes of sickening sweetness if you dare to watch this video — I highly recommend you use common sense and don’t as this will save your mind from losing several IQ points)

Going out to an event is supposed to be fun, not cause excruciating pain and leave you scarred for life. I guess that the only upside of the Hello Kitty Swarovski combo is that you at least have a fighting chance to use the Swarovski crystals to slit your wrists and put yourself out of the agony you would surely be experiencing…

Sent in by Sheila

It can never be said that the evil feline doesn’t know how to compliment the atrocities she comes up with. One would have imagined that once the Hello Kitty contacts came out, she had done as much damage as she could with the eyes of Hello Kitty fanatics. Of course, that would underestimate how much Hello Kitty loves to produce atrocities as can plainly be seen with the Hello Kitty glasses:

Simple advice to all men. If your girlfriend has Hello Kitty contacts or Hello Kitty glasses, run fast or prepare yourself for a life of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Malice