One mans hell with cute overload
No matter how much a Hello Kitty fanatic wishes it to be true, putting on evil feline plush ears with a bow is not acceptable behavior. Asking your significant other to try them on “just to see how they look” pretty much assures that you are comfortable with him living in Hello Kitty hell…
Sent in by amara (via hottopic)
Update: Of course, the evil feline would never allow there to be just one of these as monica shows via the Three Apples art exhibit:
In another attempt to get me in trouble with my wife (which has unfortunately succeeded), I am now officially not allowed to look at any women other than my wife in Hello Kitty bras and underwear. I was tempted to ask for her to make it a 100% ban on looking at any women in Hello Kitty bras and panties, but figured I was already in enough trouble…
Sent in by lilly (via Freyja*)
There are a few things that always hold true when it comes to the evil feline. 1. If it’s something that I have no desire seeing, it’s going to end up at my house or in my email box. 2. Of those things that end up in my email box, quite a few of them are not going to be explainable. 3. When a Hello Kitty photo can’t be explained, it isn’t good. This is a perfect example:
I know it’s going to be a really, really Hello Kitty hellish day when photos like these end up in my email box. I don’t want to know why. I don’t want to know when. I just plain don’t want to know anything about what is going on here. I advise you to turn away while you can because once you’ve seen it, it can never be unseen. It will haunt to far more than any of the previous Hello Kitty nightmares you have had. Unfortunately, I know this from experience:
A diamond ribbon, over 400 pink sapphires on its body, a citrine nose, black spinel eyes and made of platinum, there is no doubt that my wife will want this. Luckily for me, her business isn’t so good that she can afford the $150,000 it costs…
Sent in by Susan
I hate Hello Kitty eye masks. My wife sleeps with them on and there are literally dozens of different patterns on the market. While they help keep the light out of her eyes, they also perpetually have me inches away from dying of a heart attack.
Imagine for a moment that your significant other rolls over while you’re fast asleep and gently snuggles against you. Still 90% asleep, you turn over so that you are face to face, place your arms around her in loving fashion. Still mostly asleep, you then slowly open your eyes expecting to see your significant other’s face and this is what greets you. Unfortunately, this is a far too regular occurrence in Hello Kitty Hell…
Sent in by sophia
Update: Another way to ensure that your significant other is traumatized each and every morning:
Sent in by HK Guy
A single Hello Kitty bra is disturbing. The fact that stores sell whole racks of them is a pretty good reason to lose faith in the world:
Sent in by Geoff (via Takecrew) which of course begs to ask the question why exactly he was looking at this stuff…
More hideousness:
Sent in by Molly
Let me state for the record that I really hate fashion magazines. It has nothing to do with the heroin addict thin models that grace the pages and the unrealistic “perfect” body image that they send to those that read them. I hate them for a much more basic reason. From time to time, the editors of these magazines get the ludicrous idea (or, more likely, get their palms greased with lots of Hello Kitty money) that doing photo shoots where male models wear evil feline crap like stickers on their face is a good idea and pretend that it’s a fashionable new trend:
I received the following question in my email the other day:
What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?
“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, let’s not even go there. I guess my life has become so Hello Kittified that I have a hard time distinguishing between Hello Kitty bad, Hello Kitty worse and Hello Kitty worst. So here’s a challenge/question – what are the top three worst Hello Kitty items I have listed on this blog (yes, I know there are a number of items even worse that I have not listed, but I try to keep this blog semi family safe) and why do you think so?
I’m hoping that some of you will be able to put together a rational explanation that I can give to my wife to show her that some of this crap is downright crazy — all while not getting me sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know. It isn’t going to work, but I have found that deluding myself that there is hope of one day escaping from Hello Kitty Hell makes the Hello Kitty toast and coffee go down easier in the morning…
Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump:
Hello Kitty DragonCon Pasties Nightmare
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
Hello Kitty Minivan
Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Laptop
Hello Kitty Robot
Hello Kitty Bed
Hello Kitty Rain Boots
Hello Kitty Knife
Hello Kitty Pink Room
Hello Kitty Cutting Board
Hello Kitty Mascot Costumes
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Bra Shop
Hello Kitty Anime
Hello Kitty Bar
Hello Kitty sandwich
More and more people are coming to the realization that if you really want to both punish and humiliate someone, simply force them to wear Hello Kitty. This worked wonders for the Thai police who tagged under-performing officers with a Hello Kitty armband of shame. It appears that major league baseball players have adopted a similar approach with the Hello Kitty backpack of shame:
