Sent in by Ida

So what does a melon with Hello Kitty carved into the outside of it cost? Only about $55 (5,000 yen) — a screaming deal for Hello Kitty fanatics going by my wife’s reaction to it…

The sad, sad part is that you know the people at Sanrio are now desperately trying to figure out how to turn the inside of the melon pink to better reflect the brand image and their effort to further increase my (and everybody else’s) Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Jamilyn who should have to eat nothing but Hello Kitty food for the rest of her life as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea…

No matter how much you jab your fork into it, use your knife to slowly cut the face to pieces or chomp away at her eyes to try and console yourself at the horrendous injustice of having to look at the evil feline first thing in the morning, you know deep down in your heart that the mere fact that Hello Kitty was served to you as breakfast means that you lose and all is not right in the world. Or, in other words, it is another day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by kristin (via Jim’s Pancakes) who should have to eat those each and every morning for the rest of her life as punishment for ever thinking that sending that photo would be a good idea…

Update: Hello Kitty fanatics simply don’t know when to leave bad enough alone:

Sent in by Claudia

Of course, my wife squealed with unabashed joy upon seeing these (that high pitch “omg, these are sooooo cute!” note that only Hello Kitty fanatics seem to be able to hit) and immediately went about trying to figure out how she could create these herself. Even worse, she started explaining how cute and wonderful it would be to pull out a Hello Kitty mini pizza when having a picnic lunch. I am already dreading when that day comes and simply hope that there is a Hello Kitty sharpshooting assassin that takes pity on my and quickly puts me out of my misery. One more deep seeded dark fear to deal with while living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Christine (via LoveBones — used with permission) who should be forced to have to eat these everyday for the rest of her life as punishment for ever giving my wife the idea of trying to create these…

Of course, my wife can’t wait to try and make these despite my complaints that making Hello Kitty Oreos and serving them for a snack really should be considered cruel and unusual punishment. One more travesty to look forward to in my continuous Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Mary (via Just Jen Recipes) who should have to eat Hello Kitty Oreos until she gets sick for ever thinking that sending this to me would result in anything positive…

Of course, my wife could care less what this may appear to look like to others. She hears Hello Kitty x chocolate and she wants it without question.

This makes perfect sense. Hello Kitty fanatics are already zombie like in their devotion to the Sanrio character, so them wanting to eat her brains is obvious. Hello Kitty, of course, wants her followers to eat her brains so that they continue to be zombie followers of her quest to take over the world. The worst part is that Hello Kitty gathering her legions of Hello Kitty zombie fanatics to eat her brains on Valentine’s Day to wreak havoc on the world pretty much makes for the best case scenario of what will happen on Valentine’s Day when you live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Harriet, who should have to spend the rest of the year eating Hello Kitty brains as punishment for helping to guarantee that my Valentine’s Day will likely turn into a Hello Kitty Hellish zombie attack from which I will never be able to escape…

Sent in by Peter

Sent in by kerri

Update: Apparently the people at Sanrio know all too well that if they combine chocolate with Hello Kitty, there is nothing that will stop the Hello Kitty fanatic from buying it (at least in the case of my wife). Suffice to say, my wife can’t wait to get hold of this new line of Hello Kitty chocolate macadamia nuts coming out and I see the continued take over of the world by the evil feline…

Sent in by HK Guy (via Artisan Cakes by e.t. – photo used with permission)

The answer is simple. You’re making the bees live in a freaking pink Hello Kitty bee hive and they figured it out. It would make anybody angry and want to swarm. Of course, as anyone that would think it was a good idea to build a Hello Kitty bee hive in the first place, they try to rationalize the new found aggressiveness of the bees to something else.

Well, it seems that the Bird family failed to calm the bees by painting over the offending beehive opting instead of thinking about giving my wife Hello Kitty Hive honey instead:

Let’s just say I owe those fine folks at Hello Kitty Hell a bottle or two of Hello Kitty Hive honey, which will hopefully be available next year. I imagine the folks that actually license “Hello Kitty” will jump into the honey line as well. I can’t blame them. When you’ve got a hit like Hello Kitty on your hands — you take advantage of it.

Realizing what was not only in store for them (a lifetime of living in a Hello Kitty Hive), but also their honey (being given to Hello Kitty fanatics as Hello Kitty Hive honey), it was all just too much. They did what any self respecting bee in such a position would do. They committed suicide to spare themselves the shame of having to live in Hello Kitty Hell.

My advice to the Bird family is to turn the Hello Kitty hive into an anti-Hello Kitty hive. Not only will the bees not commit suicide, there is a good chance that bees will be fighting for the use of the hive.