Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Gadgets

Free Hello Kitty Shoulder Massager

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:33:01 +0000

OK, I’m feeling a little less uneasy about the creepy stalker package for my wife that my parents received after the person that sent the package emailed me and said she wasn’t trying to be stalker-like at all. Apparently she was simply getting ready to move and felt inspired to rid herself of much of her Hello Kitty collection due to this blog (of course, it would have been much more inspirational if she had decided to try and give it away to someone other than my wife, or better yet, set it all on fire and sent me the video).

All the stuff she sent is new and in its original packaging (which will be important to know for this next giveaway, and if for some reason it isn’t important to you, that’s kinda creepy in itself). Her explanation on how she found the address was pretty innocent and simple, although I will refrain from explaining it here since I’d rather not have the whole Hello Kitty package thing for my wife happen again.

Included in the package was a black Hello Kitty shoulder massager:

(yes, I realise that is not how most people refer to it as, but since I really don’t feel like having to explain the alternative use to my parents, humor me and let’s just stick with what Sanrio claims it was produced to be used for). What I absolutely do know is that if I have to sleep on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, Hello Kitty should not be taking over my duties (the entire set of rainbow color ones my wife currently has are for her collection and therefore aren’t used — and while I don’t think she would turn to the evil feline when I’ve been out-casted to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, there is no reason to take any chances), so this needs to be given away asap.

If you are interested in the black should massager, simply become a friend of Hello Kitty Hell on facebook and leave a comment on the “free Hello Kitty shoulder massager” post on the wall there. One entry per person, so please don’t leave multiple comments.

I will have a random number generated for the comments left on the facebook post and whichever person’s comment matches the number, I will have my parents send the Hello Kitty shoulder massager. While I hope that it goes to someone that dislikes the evil feline and that person takes the time to record its demise, the number one priority is that it does not end up in my wife’s collection. Just to make things clear, if you decide not to destroy it, I have absolutely no interest hearing about any uses you find for it.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Friday November 6th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world except at my address in Japan.

The contest is now officially over there were 241 entries in the contest:

The random number resulted with Rebecca being the winner. No matter what she decides to do with it, I’m just happy it won’t be added to my wife’s collection…

Hello Kitty Gumball Machine

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:56:29 +0000

I’ve seen a number of Hello Kitty gumball machines through the years and my wife always insist in getting a gumball out of them as if a Hello Kitty gumball machine will somehow make the gumball taste any better. I, on the other hand, simply see Hello Kitty gumball machines as a way for the evil feline to get me to put something in my mouth that she just vomited up…

Sent in by flora

Hello Kitty Paintball Gun

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:01:26 +0000

I guess when you play competitive games, you have to sometimes sacrifice your dignity in order to win. That can be the only explanation for the Hello Kitty paintball gun. There is no doubt that upon seeing it, any opponent will be instantaneously frozen with both fear and disgust leaving him/her to be a sitting duck just waiting to be picked off. The irony, of course, is that the loser will go home having lost happily knowing that he doesn’t have to live life with a Hello Kitty paintball gun. The victor, on the other hand, will carry the shame of owning that monstrocity which pretty much ensures lifetime psychological damage for the rest of his life. Even when you think you win with the evil feline, you lose…

sent in by freewin (via Charkrem)

Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:27:12 +0000

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down a flight of stairs and give a satisfying end to the video — no such luck…

Sent in by radioman

Hello Kitty Crystal Music Player

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:55:18 +0000

It’s not like the world needs another Hello Kitty digital music player, but just because something is not needed has never stopped the evil feline from selling it. In this case she resorts to her favorite marketing tool that is sure to appeal to all the Hello Kitty fanatics — lots and lots of bling by covering the digital music player with Swarovski crystals. Not only does this keep the fanatic happy, it blinds everyone else to the evil that is coming…

Sent in by andrea

Hello Kitty Razor

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:01:06 +0000

Yet another company sells its soul to the evil feline and Hello Kitty continues her quest to Hello Kittify every form of transportation possible with a marketing deal that will have Razor produce Hello Kitty razors in the near future:

This news is quite depressing to me because I have been thinking of getting a Razor for short distance transportation around Japan. My wife knows this and hasn’t been all that enthusiastic about it (”it’s something that only kids use”) when I mentioned it the past, but she has abruptly changed her mind (imagine that…) with the news that Razor will be making Hello Kitty models in the coming months. In fact, she has gone so far to suggest that we could share one or even get a matching pair which would make a wonderful gift for each of us (I can already tell that this Christmas is not going to be good).

I’m pretty damn sure that a 6′ 3″ foreigner riding around on a Hello Kitty razor in Japan would quickly land me in jail as a thief of young girl’s toys. When I tried to explain that the Hello Kitty razor was actually mine, they would undoubtedly extend my stay in the cell for being mentally unstable if they could not designate it as some other type of illegal activity. All I know is that no matter what eventually happens, it’s not going to be good and will likely increase the heat in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by trinity who should have to travel by only Hello Kitty razor for the rest of her life as punishment for sending this photo and news to me and giving my wife the horrific idea that the Hello Kitty razor would be a good thing for me…

Hello Kitty Telephone Booth

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:01:08 +0000

It’s never, ever a good sign when there is a squeal of delight the second that my wife sees a photo of the evil feline. If it is something that can’t be bought, then my wife wants to go to where ever the Hello Kitty thing is located so she can say she has seen and used it. The Hello Kitty phone booth is now on her list of must see things when traveling and ensures that one more of our trips will be filled with the excruciating pain that is Hello Kitty Hell…

Left on Facebook by Mandy

Hello Kitty Samsung Media Player

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:10:37 +0000

My wife already had all kinds of Hello Kitty media gadgets that all do the same thing and most of which she never uses, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to add more to her collection. Her latest want is the Hello Kitty Samsung YP-U5 DAP which ultimately means listening to the Hello Kitty theme song again and again — the ultimate torture in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by hilary (via Samsung Hub)

Hello Kitty Wii

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:01:57 +0000

Was there ever really any doubt? Wii had already started to produce official Hello Kitty Wii related items and fans were doing things that just weren’t right with Hello Kitty Wii mods. So I guess it’s not going to be too much longer until I walk home and my Wii controllers and Wii console looks like this…

Sent in by patty

Hello Kitty Digital Scale

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 07:01:17 +0000

We already have a Hello Kitty scale, but that doesn’t stop my wife from wanting other ones that she comes across. I find the whole idea rather ironic since the last thing that my wife wants to know from the evil feline is what she weighs. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Hello Kitty digital scale actually malfunctions on purpose so that it gives the wrong weight (to keep the Hello Kitty fanatics happy), or maybe it gives the weight in apples (if you know why this reference is significant, you know too much about Hello Kitty) so that it is impossible to tell. No matter what the truth is, it’s just another piece of Hello Kitty junk to add onto the pile in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by appleworm