I can’t even imagine the Hello Kitty Hell of having to try and explain to your fishing buddies why you have to use something like this…

Sent in by Pinky

I already hate cell phones in general because of what my wife does to them. When we lived in Japan, I avoided having to live with a Hello Kitty iPhone because there were so many other cell phones that were superior to it there that my wife wanted, but now that we are back in the US, my wife is insisting that she needs an iPhone. I have no doubt that this is what it is going to ultimately look like:

This is obviously an attempt of Hello Kitty to blind everyone into submission. Either that or send everyone into Hello Kitty induced seizures. Seriously, if you are every dating someone that is carrying around something like this, run. Run fast. Run fast and far, far away. The only alternative is joining me in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Claudia who I would wish horrendous torture upon as punishment for thinking it would ever be a good idea to send this to me, but the mere fact that she owns this is far worse punishment than I could ever imagine…

While Hello Kitty fanatics may see something like this as cute (you have to seriously feel for the lumberjack significant other that has to carry this around at work), for the rest of us it pretty much exemplifies what any horror movie villain (or the evil feline herself) would undoubtedly use to dismember victims. In fact, The Hello Kitty Chainsaw Massacre is probably already in production and is guaranteed to be the most horrifying movie that you have ever seen. Then again, getting dismembered by Hello Kitty wielding a Hello Kitty chainsaw probably would be less painful than actually having to live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Shelly who really should have to spend all her free time cutting firewood with this thing (along with a miscellaneous Hello Kitty plush now and then which “accidentally” gets mixed in with the wood pile) as punishment for ever thinking that sending it to me could ever be a good idea.

Update: Apparently, this brings out the worst fears in everyone:

(via Onipepper)

(via Mysticmaster)

I recently heard about contest to blog about the Vancouver Winter Olympics, and while the odds of being picked to do so are long, I have decided to at least try and win. While it would certainly be cool to attend the Winter Olympics, an added benefit is that I would be in contact with a lot of Olympic athletes who I could let know about Penny Experiment and possibly help out with it. Even better, I would get to escape Hello Kitty Hell for a couple of weeks.

When I asked my wife is she would be willing to give up anything, we ran into a slight problem. The vast majority of my wife’s collection is in storage in Japan and she only brought with her essential (in her view) evil feline items. After some thought, she picked out a number of items that I will be giving away over the next 10 days or so.

Of course, in order for my wife to give up anything, I also had to make a deal with the devil. If I do end up going, I’m required to buy any Hello Kitty items that I come across (I can’t escape Hello Kitty Hell even when I will be on my own). While both terrifying and nausea inducing, I agreed to the deal for the positive benefits in furthering a good cause.

This contest is for a Hello Kitty 3-D ice cube tray:

The Olympic contest is to help support and spread the word about lesser known athletes participating in the Olympics games. I decided to participate by helping get the word out to people by creating Facebook fan pages.

Entering this contest is easy — simply become a Facebook fan of Clyde Getty, a 48 year old that will be attempting 2 triple flips in freestyle skiing (worth watching some of his videos – they are amazing).

After becoming a fan, leave a comment letting me know that you have and that will be your entry. I will have a random number generated for the comments that qualify left below. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the Hello Kitty ice cube tray.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Thursday January 21st. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world.

UPDATE: There were 137 entries in the contest and the randomly generated number was 10. A big congratulations goes out to Carol Browne for being the winner:

I have to admit that when I first had to use this, I was tempted to get a bottle of ketchup or red food coloring and liberally spread it around the area where the handle goes into Hello Kitty’s forehead. Somehow I don’t think that my wife would appreciate that type of humor and I resisted once I realized how long I would likely end up sleeping in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag on the couch. Still, just the thought brings a smile to my face, and sometimes that is all you have to hang onto when you live in hello Kitty Hell…

left by eignasan via Twitter who says “My boyfriend will love his improved HK controller when he sees it.”

Update: Apparently Gamecube game controllers are also not immune against being Hello Kittified:

Sent in by Fluff who asks, “Why do girls feel the need to collect all that rubbish? Check out what my gf did to my gamecube controller!”

While getting a Hello Kitty Rockband guitar for any Hello Kitty fanatic should be considered a serious lapse in judgement worthy of excluding you from the human race, it goes far beyond your own torment. That is because as soon as my wife saw it (and I can pretty much assume the same has/will occur with any other Hello Kitty fanatic out there who sees it), I received the Hello Kitty fanatic “this is going to be an extraordinary Hello Kitty hellish day” question: “Why don’t you ever get things like that for me?”

While you may assume that the gift you get your Hello Kitty fanatic partner only effects your little world, it has a rippling effect to every other person suffering in the depths of Hello Kitty Hell. By getting something like this, every other Hello Kitty fanatic feels that they are also entitled to something equally as horrendous. They will then use the example of you getting that Hello Kitty crap for your Hello Kitty fanatic as a reason that they also deserve equally terrifying Hello Kitty crap themselves.

So the next time you feel pressured to get your significant other something covered with the evil feline, don’t just think about yourself. Think about all the other poor souls (or specifically me) that will end up suffering far more as they will likely end up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for not being as Hello Kitty appreciative as you are pretending to be.

Sent in by Josh (photo used with permission) who really does deserve a special place in his own Hello Kitty Hell for ever thinking that 1) getting this for his girlfriend would be a good idea and 2) after doing so, thinking that sending it to me so that my wife could see it would somehow also be a good idea…

The only good news is that this series has stopped at five and won’t be continuing for eternity. That is something that I can’t say about Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by far too many people who should all have to get their computers completely accessorized with Hello Kitty crap for thinking for even a second that sending these to me could ever be a good idea…

Sent in by Elizabeth

Sent in by flora