Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Guns

Hello Kitty Paintball Gun

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:01:26 +0000

I guess when you play competitive games, you have to sometimes sacrifice your dignity in order to win. That can be the only explanation for the Hello Kitty paintball gun. There is no doubt that upon seeing it, any opponent will be instantaneously frozen with both fear and disgust leaving him/her to be a sitting duck just waiting to be picked off. The irony, of course, is that the loser will go home having lost happily, knowing that he doesn’t have to live life with a Hello Kitty paintball gun. The victor, on the other hand, will carry the shame of owning that monstrosity which pretty much ensures lifetime psychological damage for the rest of his life. Even when you think you win with the evil feline, you lose…

sent in by freewin (via Charkrem)

Hello Kitty .45 Caliber Handgun

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:01:34 +0000

Another week, another gun to add to the Hello Kitty gun collection. It’s more than a little disturbing that Hello Kitty guns have become so common that my reaction is “oh, another Hello Kitty gun” and no “wtf is wrong with the human race?” It won’t be too much longer that the evil feline will be able to arm her own army…

Sent in by gunlovr

Hello Kitty Sig Sauer p226 Gun

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:01:20 +0000

As I have said time and again, Hello Kitty loves her guns…

Sent in by gunlovr

Hello Kitty M4A1

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:01:27 +0000

Because let’s face it, in the world controlled by the evil feline, there just can’t be enough Hello Kitty guns…

Left in the comments by Brian

Updated: Still not sure I have the correct gun model, but corrected from AK47

Hello Kitty Hand Grenade

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 07:06:30 +0000

In her quest to bring “love and happiness” to one and all, the evil feline has given us a wide assortment of Hello Kitty guns and an Hello Kitty armoured personnel carrier. So I guess it should be no surprise to see a variety of Hello Kitty hand grenades available in Call of Duty:

Even worse than the evil feline’s image is that the fear doesn’t stop with the sight of it. When the grenade is used, the following sound effects accompany it:

Flash will go “Meow”
Frag will go “Hisssssss”
Smoke will go “Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

Not only does it terrorize you with its looks, it mocks you before it completely destroys your life. Sounds a lot like Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Friedrich (via fpsbanana) who should have to play all his computer games from now on with Hello Kitty head-to-toe clad characters as punishment for ever thinking that sending something like this to me could be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Machine Gun

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 07:01:10 +0000

Because there has never been a gun that Hello Kitty could keep her face off, here is yet another Hello Kitty machine gun:

There are now so many different Hello Kitty guns, it’s no longer even surprising to see one sporting the evil feline (a very worrying sign in Hello Kitty Hell…). In fact, the only surprise with this Hello Kitty machine gun is that the camouflage isn’t done in shades of pink. While this would obviously make the camouflage a lot less effective since the gun would stick out like a sore thumb, it would at the same time put infinitely more fear into the enemy upon seeing what was being aimed at them. I certainly would run for my life if I ever saw something like this…

Sent in by Pierre-Emmanuel who should have to sport this at the next NRA convention in his area as punishment for ever thinking it would be a good idea to send me a photo like this…

Hello Kitty Taser Gun

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:19:06 +0000

Because nothing shows the true cuteness and sweet side of Hello Kitty — and the love and happiness she brings to all — as 50,000 volts of electricity streaming through your body:

Of course, the existence of a Hello Kitty taser gun shouldn’t come as a surprise at all considering all the Hello Kitty guns already out there. And if the Hello Kitty taser were used properly (as in Hello Kitty fanatics self-tasering themselves every time the thought of purchasing something Hello Kitty entered their mind), it really could be a benefit for society. Alas, I fear that if my wife ever gets one of these, the only use for it will come right before I get sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag. The fact that Hello Kitty Hell can always get worse is once again shown to be true…

Sent in by Chrissey who should use this device on herself multiple times as punishment for thinking that sending it to me could ever be a good idea.

Hello Kitty Safari

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 06:32:19 +0000

Well, I guess I can always dream:

Hello Kitty safari postcard

I think it would have been more appropriate if she had been hunted down with a Hello Kitty shotgun, but then again, who am I to nitpick…

Sent in by Aein (via commercial archive) who deserves a beer on me if we should ever meet for bringing a smile to my face, but next time needs to invite me along for the hunt…

Hello Kitty Assault Rifle Tattoo

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:11:14 +0000

While it has long been established that all things Hello Kitty are bad, what sets the Hello Kitty fanatics apart is their desire to go beyond the typical and create Hello Kitty in ways that are just plain wrong: Hello Kitty tattoos and Hello Kitty guns being prime examples. One would think it would be safe to assume that things could not get any worse than these, but then they would not know the universal rule in Hello Kitty Hell — that things can always get worse. Thus the Hello Kitty fanatic thinks it’s a good idea to get a Hello Kitty assault rifle tattoo:

One would seriously hope that Hello Kitty would use this weapon upon herself, but of course that would certainly be asking too much. Not only do I have to suffer the misery of seeing yet another Hello Kitty combination gone terribly wrong, I have to worry about all the ideas that these combination tattoos are giving my wife. It would not surprise me in the least bit that the next time I take off my wife’s clothes, I will see an mosaic of Hello Kitty tattoos that have already posted on this site — which would pretty much mean that the only sane thing to do would be to pull out one of those Hello Kitty guns and quickly put an end to it all. Of course, with my luck it would only wound me and I’d end up in a Hello Kitty hospital with Hello Kitty nurses placing Hello Kitty bandages all over me for months which would be a typical outcome living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Kalishnikitty who has already probably punished herself enough by having this thing tattooed on her body, but definitely deserves even more punishment for thinking that sending it to me could ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Shotgun

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:15:53 +0000

I guess with all the other types of Hello Kitty guns that are out there, it shouldn’t be a surprise that there is also a Hello Kitty shotgun (with Hello Kitty shotgun shells and other various Hello Kitty bullets as well…)

This, of course, is the natural expansion of Hello Kitty into all things gun related (which, ironically, is a perfect fit for the evil feline since — except for a few delusional fanatics — we all know she is the harbinger of death and destruction across the earth). Since she already has military style guns Hello Kittified, it only made sense to go after all the good old boys with shotguns in their pickup trucks.

Can you really imagine anything scarier than a redneck in the back of his pickup with a six pack of beer and a Hello Kitty shotgun? I thought not, and that is why you can join me in having Hello Kitty Hellish nightmares of that image for the rest of the month…

Sent in by debbie who really should have to suffer military (and hometown redneck) torture for thinking even for a moment that sending me this photo could be a good idea…