KamikazeH20mln (via womensday)

Update: And more people willing to put their health care in the paws of the evil feline:

Sent in by Sabree

Updated Photos

My wife loves this photo and thinks it shows how “Hello Kitty and fashion can be woven together to make a striking statement.” Those aren’t quite the words I would use to describe this.

I see this woman in a Stephen King novel with a Hello Kitty knife in hand ready to dissect you in hopes she can find something Hello Kitty inside you. Her eyes probably turn into Hello Kitty as she does this.

Sent in by mibby (via Gina T — with more from this photo shoot and others) who should have to have a person like this in the operating room the next time she needs major surgery as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Sent in by lovemimi

While this doctor office lab is only an exhibition in Hong Kong, I have no doubt that Sanrio is already working on making this become a reality. Considering that the evil feline already has a Hello Kitty hospital, a dedicated Hello Kitty maternity ward and Hello Kitty hospital equipment, this really isn’t that far of a stretch for her to move into the doctor’s office? When they exist, I have no doubt that my wife will be taking me there for every little bump and scrape just to make my Hello Kitty Hell that much more hellish…

Sent in by saikori (and far too many others) who should have to have all their medical treatment done in this room as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea…

My wife loves it (dreamy look on her face: “Isn’t it sweet having Hello Kitty looking at you each morning?”) and uses health as a way of trying to convince me that I need to drink it (wife: “matcha is filled with antioxidants.” Me thinking: “then wouldn’t it immediately destroy Hello Kitty?”) which means I will soon be seeing it in front of me. Add in Hello Kitty eggs, Hello Kitty sausage and Hello Kitty toast and I pretty much have all the reason in the world to end my life that instant to relieve the obvious torture being placed in front of me.

Just to add the final Hello Kitty straw — in case I am able to endure the pain for some unfathomable reason — I’m not a big green tea fan (at least not the matcha thick style) which will ensure that it will go down doubly bitter. That pretty much is a summary of everything in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by norma who should have to drink vast amounts of this bitterness as punishment for ever thinking that showing my wife more ways to Hello Kittify the stuff that we drink could ever result in anything positive…

While a Hello Kitty Wii balance board bag may be slightly better than a Hello Kitty balance board (which is undoubtedly already in production…), it certainly is not so by much. The fact that a new Hello Kitty yoga pad is also available sends shivers down my spine and not a good omen of how things are likely to turn out. That Hello Kitty yoga mat ended up putting me on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag as well as instructions not to sweat on it while using it. All in all, a sure sign that the fun I used to have on the Nintendo Wii is quickly going to be just another part of living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Oliver who really should have to sleep inside the Hello Kitty Will balance board bag (and I’ll even allow for the use of the Hello Kitty yoga pad for some comfort being the gentle soul that I am) for the rest of the year for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea and virtually guaranteeing that I’ll end up back on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag at some point due to these items…

I like the Wii and I have had a lot of fun playing the games on it, but I know from horrifying experience where this is all going. The Hello Kitty Wii dance pad is, unfortunately, only the tip of the iceberg. It won’t be long before the evil feline is placing her image on every Wii accessory imaginable and after that, can the Hello Kitty Wii complete gaming system be that far behind?

Of course, my wife loves it and thinks that it’s doubly great because she knows it is for something I already like. Somehow with her Hello Kitty fanatic reasoning this translates to I will like playing it even more with Hello Kitty…

Even though I will be able to get out some of my frustration by stomping on her head as hard as I can (all while delicately making it appear like I’m not stomping — I don’t want to end up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag), somehow I don’t think that the coming pink invasion is going help me improve my Nintendo Wii scores. Upset stomachs and dry heaving doesn’t make for optimal physical activity, but it is a sure sign that I’m still in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by dora12 who should be forced to do extreme physical activity on a daily basis in the name of Hello Kitty fitness for thinking for even a moment that sending this to me could result in anything positive…

While some might argue that this was originally made for some other purpose, all I have to say is Hello Kitty shoulder massager — whatever Sanrio might claim, the truth is obvious to see.

There are a lot of things in Hello Kitty Hell that worry me to no end, but having the evil feline provide pregnancy protection definitely is one that is near the top…

Sent in by Aaron, who I would normally wish horrible future disaster upon for showing me something like this, but I figure that he will more than punish himself with the women in his life if they agree to sleep with him after seeing the Hello Kitty condom holder…

So what does this gadget do? Who the hell knows…apparently by pressing it against your face, it is able to directly measure the state of your skin by analyzing your skin’s moisture content, oil content and sun damage. Since this would seem incredibly ridiculous to even someone in an insane asylum, my bet is that it really sends beams of Hello Kitties under your skin to infect you with a Hello Kitty virus that Sanrio has developed to get you to buy more Hello Kitty junk. That, or send huge amounts of electricity into the brain to fry it to the point that you actually think that Hello Kitty is cute.

Even the employees at Sanrio believe they may have taken all this Hello Kitty crap a step to far. Realizing that this gadget doesn’t make any sense at all, it appears that at least one employee had a twinge of conscience and added a clock to it (they call the gadget a “Hello Kitty beauty clock”), so that it actually has one function which makes sense to anyone who isn’t a Hello Kitty fanatic.

Of course, none of this makes any difference to my wife. It’s a cute Hello Kitty gadget which she can add to her collection for a mere $25, use and pretend that somehow Hello Kitty understands how her skin is doing on a daily basis. Or in other words, she has ensured that Hello Kitty Hell continues to get worse on a daily basis…

Basically, this is a leg brace for dogs who suffer from arthritis, mild to moderate hip dysplasia, decreased endurance during activity, hip pain, low back pain or weakness and back leg limping. The Hello Kitty fanatic, not believing that this type of physical pain is enough, then humiliates the dog with this Hello Kitty brace to ensure maximum psychological pain for good measure. Would you expect anything less for anyone (including a dog) living in Hello Kitty Hell?

Sent in by a. who should have to have all her medical supplies for every major operation be Hello Kitty branded for thinking even an instant that sending me this photo would be a good idea.