Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Pets

Hello Kitty Weekly Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 07:01:40 +0000

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:

Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player

And a few photo post updates:

Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Tattoo

Hello Kitty Worst of and Weekly Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 07:01:46 +0000

I received the following question in my email the other day:

What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?

“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, let’s not even go there. I guess my life has become so Hello Kittified that I have a hard time distinguishing between Hello Kitty bad, Hello Kitty worse and Hello Kitty worst. So here’s a challenge/question – what are the top three worst Hello Kitty items I have listed on this blog (yes, I know there are a number of items even worse that I have not listed, but I try to keep this blog semi family safe) and why do you think so?

I’m hoping that some of you will be able to put together a rational explanation that I can give to my wife to show her that some of this crap is downright crazy — all while not getting me sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know. It isn’t going to work, but I have found that deluding myself that there is hope of one day escaping from Hello Kitty Hell makes the Hello Kitty toast and coffee go down easier in the morning…

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump:

Hello Kitty DragonCon Pasties Nightmare
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
Hello Kitty Minivan
Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Laptop
Hello Kitty Robot
Hello Kitty Bed
Hello Kitty Rain Boots
Hello Kitty Knife
Hello Kitty Pink Room
Hello Kitty Cutting Board
Hello Kitty Mascot Costumes

And a few photo post updates:

Hello Kitty Bra Shop
Hello Kitty Anime
Hello Kitty Bar
Hello Kitty sandwich

Hello Kitty Bee Hive

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 07:01:01 +0000

There is something about animals that know when they have been wronged. Just take a look at these cats and you know they are going to be seeking revenge on their owner the first chance that they get. So anyone that thought it would be a good idea to build a Hello Kitty bee hive should have known that the bees would revolt:

Here’s the story:

I first noticed this change (to our Hello Kitty bee hive)about two or three weeks ago when I was going about the normal routine of changing out the sugar water feeder. The hive has now settled down to a normal routine of going through one or two pints of sugar water per day. They never gave me trouble for the simple act of picking up an empty jar and returning with a full jar a few minutes later.

That was — until the other day. When I completed the quite normal task of retrieving the empty pint jar I suddenly found myself in a cloud of angry buggers, angrily buzzing around my head. But that’s not all.

One of them landed directly on my temple and stung me. I was shocked as I coughed and ran from the hive at the same time — doing my best to avoid the bees who were flying after me. This had simply never happened before. I had been stung a couple of times for the act of removing burr comb buildup from inside the hive — but that’s normal. The bees thought we were destroying their home — and reacted in a way that insects will react to intruders: defend the hive.

But in this case? I wasn’t attacking. I was merely retrieving the sugar water jar from the feeder at the base of the hive as I’d done daily all summer long. They had never bothered me before. Why now?

The answer is simple. Your making the bees live in a freaking pink Hello Kitty bee hive and they figured it out. It would make anybody angry and want to swarm. Of course, as anyone that would think it was a good idea to build a Hello Kitty bee hive in the first place, they try to rationalize the new found aggressiveness of the bees to something else.

My wife, on the other hand, thinks the Hello Kitty bee hive is a great idea. Although she didn’t come right out and say it, it’s as though she thinks that bees kept in a Hello Kitty hive will produce a garden full of Hello Kitty flowers, or somehow turn the surrounding fields into Hello Kitty. One more thing to worry about (for me and the bees) in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by marybeth (via Sacramento Gardening – warning, music will start playing so turn down your sound) who deserves to have swarms of Hello Kitty hived bees swarm her as punishment for ever giving my wife the idea of something a sinister as a Hello Kitty bee hive…

Hello Kitty Cat Fur Bow Revenge

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 07:01:47 +0000

Hello Kitty fanatics don’t often think about this, but there can be a price to pay when you dress your pets in Hello Kitty outfits. It doesn’t take a genius to see that many of the cats who are dressed in Hello Kitty look like they will seek unspeakable revenge on their owner as soon as the chance presents itself. Usually we never get to see if this revenge is completed, but here is a photo of Jeanne (who made her cat wear a Hello Kitty bow out of her own fur) a few days later:

As you can see, Jeanne’s cat made sure that not only was she to lose all of her hair, but would also have to wear the Hello Kitty cat hair bow to repent for her previous Hello Kitty inspired crimes. This should serve as warning that if you abuse your pets with Hello Kitty wear of any type, they will get their revenge when the opportunity makes itself available. Maybe I should take a look at their playbook to form my own revenge for having to live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Jeanne who claims that she tried to explain to her cat that “the chemotherapy made me do it” — but not even that excuse would stop the cat from seeking justified revenge…

Hello Kitty Sex Slave

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:01:35 +0000

How do dogs get back at Hello Kitty for all the evilness that she brings into their lives? Yoshi, a miniature schnauzer, took matters into his own paws and decided that a little alternative sexual entertainment with a sleeping Hello Kitty plush was in order:

I guess if Hello Kitty is going to tattoo her image on dogs, muzzle dogs and make dogs wear Hello Kitty clothes, she has to expect that there will be a price to pay.

While this may be effective retribution for dogs, it wouldn’t work in Hello Kitty Hell because Hello Kitty fanatics actually believe men want to have sex with Hello Kitty. And just thinking about that pretty much ensures a week of horrible nightmares in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Marc who created a far more effective punishment than I could ever imagine of not only having to watch these episodes live, but having the image reappear every time he looks at the Hello Kitty sleeping plush in the future…

Update: Proving once again that no good deed goes unpunished when it comes to the evil feline, Yoshi’s Halloween costume (bet he is having second thoughts about that whole sex slave thing):

Left by Marc on facebook

Hello Kitty Cat Bow

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:42:24 +0000

You know that if celebrities are putting Hello Kitty bows in their hair, then a Hello Kitty fanatic with a cat and too much time on her hands is going to do something like this:

While my life in Hello Kitty Hell has its many drawbacks, at least I have some control over what my wife does to me…

Sent in by Jeanne, who I would wish unspeakable things upon, but I have a distinct feeling that her cat has already plotted something far worse than I could ever come up with for doing this…

Hello Kitty Dog Hip Dysplasia Orthopedic Brace

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 24 May 2009 00:18:53 +0000

You really have to feel sorry for dogs that end up in Hello Kitty fanatic homes. Whether they are putting you in Hello Kitty dog clothes, placing a Hello Kitty muzzle over your nose, putting you in a Hello Kitty doghouse, placing a Hello Kitty head over your own or forcing you to get a Hello Kitty tattoo, life pretty much sucks all the way around. Of course, a Hello Kitty fanatic won’t stop there. When you old and you can no longer walk on your own, your owner will promptly embarrass you to no end by getting you a Hello Kitty dysplasia orthopedic brace:

Basically, this is a leg brace for dogs who suffer from arthritis, mild to moderate hip dysplasia, decreased endurance during activity, hip pain, low back pain or weakness and back leg limping. The Hello Kitty fanatic, not believing that this type of physical pain is enough, then humiliates the dog with this Hello Kitty brace to ensure maximum psychological pain for good measure. Would you expect anything less for anyone (including a dog) living in Hello Kitty Hell?

Sent in by a. who should have to have all her medical supplies for every major operation be Hello Kitty branded for thinking even an instant that sending me this photo would be a good idea.

Hello Kitty Dog Muzzle

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 15:29:11 +0000

If there is anything worse that me living in Hello Kitty Hell, it might possibly be a dog living in Hello Kitty Hell. Whether it’s their fanatic owners giving them a Hello Kitty tattoo. Making them wear a Hello Kitty head / Hello Kitty dog blanket and Hello Kitty clothes / Hello Kitty jewelry, they pretty much are guaranteed to be the laughing stock of all the other dogs in the neighborhood (boy, do I know how that feels). Of course, things can still get worse for dogs as well like having to wear a Hello Kitty dog muzzle:

Life pretty much sucks when a cat with no mouth won’t let you open up your own. My guess is that the only reason this owner needs a dog muzzle for this dog is that through all the other Hello Kitty trauma the dog has been put through and been forced to endure, he basically wants to bite the hell out of the owner. I surely would…

Sent in by Kelsey who should have to wear this muzzle herself every day as punishment for thinking it could ever be a good idea to send this photo to me…

Hello Kitty Dog Wear

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:30:51 +0000

There seems to be this oblivious part of every Hello Kitty fanatic where they believe that it’s perfectly acceptable to insult their pets and make them the laughing stock of the neighborhood. While the things that they do you cats (example one :: example two :: example three) is downright torturous, there is no doubt that the true humiliation is reserved for the dogs (example one :: example two :: example three :: example four :: example five). So it should be no surprise that the evil feline would continue to make a dog’s life as Hello Kitty Hellish as my own:

Not only does Hello Kitty insist that the dog be made to wear Hello Kitty’s mouthless face , but she also insists on also making the dog dress up in a bunny costume. Of course, my wife thinks that this is absolutely adorable, but I’m sure that it simply makes the dog look more like a delicious snack to most of the other dogs out there.

It doesn’t even stop there since there are actually complete Hello Kitty dog wear lines that exist which pretty much means that any dog unlucky enough to land in the home of a Hello Kitty fanatic is pretty much guaranteed to need a lifetime of psychological help to get over the trauma. I know exactly how they must feel…

Sent in by Janet who should really be forced to wear the Hello Kitty dog clothes instead of her pets for thinking that sending something like this to me could ever be considered a good thing…

Hello Kitty Animal Abuse

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 11:47:06 +0000

I don’t know if it can get much worse than this – except if my wife was doing the same to me…