Hello Kitty Paintball Gun

I guess when you play competitive games, you have to sometimes sacrifice your dignity in order to win. That can be the only explanation for the Hello Kitty paintball gun. There is no doubt that upon seeing it, any opponent will be instantaneously frozen with both fear and disgust leaving him/her to be a sitting duck just waiting to be picked off. The irony, of course, is that the loser will go home having lost happily, knowing that he doesn’t have to live life with a Hello Kitty paintball gun. The victor, on the other hand, will carry the shame of owning that monstrosity which pretty much ensures lifetime psychological damage for the rest of his life. Even when you think you win with the evil feline, you lose…

Hello Kitty paintball gun

Hello Kitty paint ball gun

sent in by freewin (via Charkrem)

Hello Kitty Halloween Costumes

One of the greatest tragedies of living in Hello Kitty Hell is that even when Halloween is over, the torture from the holiday doesn’t end because all the fanatics feel it necessary to email me and my wife their Hello Kitty costumes. All I can say is that I’m just happy that none of them ended up at my front door…

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

Sent in by Sabree

Hello Kitty pirate costume

Sent in by danny

Hello Kitty costume

Sent in by Carmen

Hello Kitty costume

Sent in by Jaime (“I really wanted to be Hello Kitty and I thought that by duct taping my mouth shut I’d make it more accurate since she doesn’t have a mouth. instead everyone thought I was Hostage Hello Kitty.”)

Hello Kitty face paint costume

Hello Kitty Halloween costume

Sent in by Kay (via myspace bragathon)

Hello Kitty backpack costume

Sent in by Samantha (“This is not me, I merely found this picture mixed in with all of the other ones being uploaded for the halloween season.”)

Hello Kitty black dress costume

Sent in by Sarah (“Better believe I dragged my husband into it.”)

Hello Kitty kid Halloween costume

Sent in by Jenn (mom to Seaney)

Hello Kitty scary costume

Left by Chema Cx on facebook

Hello Kitty Smashing Pumpkins

It seems that all of Hello Kitty’s love and kindness wasn’t quite able to save her from this ignoble fate. Now if only I was allowed to do that to our pumpkins each year, I could definitely celebrate the evil feline’s birthday in style each year. Nothing wrong with dreaming…

Hello Kitty smashing pumpkins

Sent in by swipper

Update: Almost as satisfying as a smashed Hello Kitty pumpkin is a Hello Kitty pumpkin that goes wrong during the carving…

Hello Kitty pumpkin failure

Sent in by Jaime

Hello Kitty .45 Caliber Handgun

Note: Sanrio legal counsel has contacted me because they realize that their fans are not bright enough to know what is an official Sanrio product and what is not. They didn’t feel that this would be a problem until the fans started contacting them directly, and they soon realized how painful it was to actually have to converse with a fanatic, and not even they had the patience to actually do this. As a result, they sent out a notice to me begging for me to take down my posts about guns that had the evil feline on them just so they didn’t have to ever correspond with the fanatics again. When I explained that they brought it on themselves, they pleaded that I spare them the torture that they inflict on me on a daily basis and asked me to post the following, Since I actually have a conscience, here is what they have to say:

Sanrio® has informed us that Sanrio is not involved in the manufacture or sale of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, and does not allow Hello Kitty® to be used to market guns or weapons. The items shown in this post are either digitally fabricated images or were custom-decorated without Sanrio’s permission. Sanrio alleges that creating false digitized images of Hello Kitty guns or weapons, or custom-decorating a real gun or weapon with Hello Kitty art, infringes Sanrio’s copyrights and trademarks, and may violate criminal laws.

And onto the original post…

Another week, another gun to add to the Hello Kitty gun collection. It’s more than a little disturbing that Hello Kitty guns have become so common that my reaction is “oh, another Hello Kitty gun” and no “wtf is wrong with the human race?” It won’t be too much longer that the evil feline will be able to arm her own army…

Hello Kitty 45 gun

Sent in by gunlovr

Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio-controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down a flight of stairs and give a satisfying end to the video — no such luck…

Sent in by radioman

Hello Kitty and Disco Stormtrooper Costumes

This is definitely going to be a long and horrifying Halloween if this is any indication of the Hello Kitty Halloween costumes that will be finding their way into my mailbox over the next few days. If you can be judged by the friends you keep, this pretty much explains the Hello Kitty I know…

Hello Kitty Disco Stormtrooper

Sent in by simon

Hello Kitty Box Cutter

I have no doubt that Hello Kitty will be the death of me. One day the sweetness will become so overwhelming that I will find myself trying to get it out of my system by slicing my wrists. Apparently the evil feline wants to give me a choice when this time comes: I can go for the Hello Kitty knife or I can choose the Hello Kitty box cutter:

Hello Kitty boxcutter

Hello Kitty boxcutter

Sent in by Helen

Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask

Apparently the evil feline wants us to believe that flu masks adorned with her image are more than just fashion statements and are actually something you would want to wear to help prevent swine flu. While Hello Kitty fanatics may be willing to place their health in the hands of Hello Kitty products, (as I have stated before, I solve this problem by never getting colds) my experience is that Hello Kitty doesn’t always produce the best quality merchandise out there…just saying.

Hello Kitty swine flu mask

KamikazeH20mln (via womensday)

Update: And more people willing to put their health care in the paws of the evil feline:

Hello Kitty H1N1 flu mask

Hello Kitty flu face mask

Sent in by Penina of herself and her friend Dana

Hello Kitty health mask

Sent in by Sabree

Hello Kitty eMac

What’s worse than an Apple lover embracing Microsoft? When users of Apple products start accepting the Hello Kitty and deciding it’s all right to even modify old hardware to celebrate the evil feline. Let’s just pray that this doesn’t foreshadow a whole line of Apple Hello Kitty computers in the future…

Hello Kitty emac

Sent in by crystal (and also left via facebook)