Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Sex

Hello Kitty Ultimate Cage Fighting

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:29:04 +0000

One would imagine that there would be certain sports where Hello Kitty, no matter how hard she tried, would never be accepted. Of course, that would once again greatly underestimating the evil feline and her quest to put her face absolutely every where. For those of you who still doubt, here is the Hello Kitty extreme cage fighter:

Much like the Hello Kitty men’s underwear (and the various other frightening variations), this photo is a disaster for any male that has a Hello Kitty fanatic in his life. My wife took one look at this photo and demanded to know, for the millionth time, why I am so against wearing Hello Kitty clothing. She should already know better.

Hello Kitty x aging men with beer bellies does not make an attractive photo opportunity (although it certainly does provide ample blackmail material so that she is guaranteed to get anything Hello Kitty she wants for the rest of her life simply by threatening to release the photos onto the Internet). Imagine of your dad wearing that outfit (ohhh, sorry about that — my bad. I should have told you to go to the bathroom or at least get a trash can handy) and you should pretty much agree that it is just wrong in so many ways. The fact that my wife refuses to acknowledge this obvious reality ensures that I remain painfully in the deepest depths of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Cathy who should have to watch all her loved ones fight this guy (I would say her, but from the sound of her email to me about how sexy this guy is, she would undoubtedly enjoy being in a ring with him herself) as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me would result in anything good…

Hello Kitty Sex Doll Harem (possibly NSFW)

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:45:56 +0000

One would think that it would be impossible to make a harem of sex dolls stored in the closet any creepier, but that is definitely not the case. That’s because when you place a large Hello Kitty plush on the top shelf to watch over them and a Hello Kitty night light on the floor so they don’t get scared at night, you pretty much have put together the creepiest room possible. To keep my sanity and prevent countless nightmares, I’m not even going to think about why those Hello Kitty items may be there…

Sent in by Getsu

Hello Kitty Latex Fashion Show

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:01:08 +0000

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…

As much as Hello Kitty claims that she isn’t about sex, the evidence (the thinly disguised Hello Kitty vibrator, the recent MAC make-up promotions and the Hello Kitty bondage hotel to name just a few examples) points to the contrary and it’s pretty obvious that if the evil feline thinks that it will sell, she is all for it. That, in turn, means that I have a lot more Hello Kitty Hell to look forward to…

Sent in by yelpkh who should have to watch this video over and over as punishment for ever thinking that sending it to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Bloodfest

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:01:10 +0000

There are some things about Hello Kitty fanatics I just don’t want to know. Apparently there is a a rave called Bloodfest where “the Infamous Boom Boom does his blood bath performance which is basically simulated sex in a tub full of blood and bones.” This year Boom Boom incorporated the below Hello Kitty plush into the act and for your sanity, I’ll leave out the details of what he did. While this certainly sounds like the crowd where the evil feline belongs, feel free not to share these stories with me in the future:

Sent in by Hello Kizee

Hello Kitty Pokemon Fetish (nsfw – or your sanity)

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:35:06 +0000

One would imagine that it really couldn’t get worse than the Hello Kitty fetish underwear, but then that would be highly underestimating the evil feline. Long after any normal person would stop and say, “Okay, this really has gone way too far,” Hello kitty is looking for ways to stretch the bounds of human reason to the point that we all just give up and accept her as our overlord so that she will just stop. If stretching these bounds requires a little help from Pokemon, so be it. As I have said it on many occasions before, you are better off leaving and enjoying the rest of your day because you can’t unsee the image and it will haunt you – you have been warned:

See, I told you…

Sent in by Physalis

Hello Kitty Porn Star Tera Patrick

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:01:35 +0000

The evil feline has no qualms about being seen with anyone and everyone in the hopes of making an extra sale, as her association with Tera Patrick shows. Hey, porn stars love Hello Kitty too and someone needs to be hawking those “shoulder massagers”:

Sent in by Georga

Hello Kitty Bra and Panties

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:01:58 +0000

In another attempt to get me in trouble with my wife (which has unfortunately succeeded), I am now officially not allowed to look at any women other than my wife in Hello Kitty bras and underwear. I was tempted to ask for her to make it a 100% ban on looking at any women in Hello Kitty bras and panties, but figured I was already in enough trouble…

Sent in by lilly (via Freyja*)

Hello Kitty Fashion Face Mask

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 07:01:44 +0000

There are a few things that always hold true when it comes to the evil feline. 1. If it’s something that I have no desire seeing, it’s going to end up at my house or in my email box. 2. Of those things that end up in my email box, quite a few of them are not going to be explainable. 3. When a Hello Kitty photo can’t be explained, it isn’t good. This is a perfect example:

Updated Photos

My wife loves this photo and thinks it shows how “Hello Kitty and fashion can be woven together to make a striking statement.” Those aren’t quite the words I would use to describe this.

I see this woman in a Stephen King novel with a Hello Kitty knife in hand ready to dissect you in hopes she can find something Hello Kitty inside you. Her eyes probably turn into Hello Kitty as she does this.

Sent in by mibby (via Gina T — with more from this photo shoot and others) who should have to have a person like this in the operating room the next time she needs major surgery as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Underwear Fetish (don’t look – it can’t be unseen)

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 00:08:44 +0000

I know it’s going to be a really, really Hello Kitty hellish day when photos like these end up in my email box. I don’t want to know why. I don’t want to know when. I just plain don’t want to know anything about what is going on here. I advise you to turn away while you can because once you’ve seen it, it can never be unseen. It will haunt to far more than any of the previous Hello Kitty nightmares you have had. Unfortunately, I know this from experience:

You might try to console yourself by imagining that the photo has to be photoshopped because there is nobody out there who would do this to himself, let alone anyone around him. Unfortunately, despite my fervent wishes, it appears not to be…

The only positive I can see from these photos is that they may convince my wife that me wearing tight fitting Hello Kitty underwear is not in the best interest of the human race…

Sent in by borg197 (via latfh — language warning) who should be forced to wear a pair of this Hello Kitty underwear for the rest of his life for feeling it necessary to mentally scar my mind by sending me this photo…

Hello Kitty Push-Up Bras

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:01:21 +0000

A single Hello Kitty bra is disturbing. The fact that stores sell whole racks of them is a pretty good reason to lose faith in the world:

Sent in by Geoff (via Takecrew) which of course begs to ask the question why exactly he was looking at this stuff…