I knew that things weren’t going to be good as soon as Hello Kitty duct tape came to existence. This was quickly confirmed with the Hello Kitty duct tape purse and then there was absolutely no doubt with the Hello Kitty duct tape dress. Of course, fanatics of the evil feline couldn’t leave bad enough alone and decided that a Hello Kitty duct tape bra was in order:

The sad (and extremely terrifying) part of all this is that you know it won’t end here and that the people at Sanrio are probably already at the drawing board thinking up a complete Hello Kitty duct tape fashion line. Somehow I have a feeling that 2012 isn’t going to provide much of an escape from Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Miss Meow Detroit

There is this extremely unfortunate (and frightening) notion among Hello Kitty fanatics that wearing very little clothing in conjunction with the evil feline is somehow a good thing. I think this photo proves that this notion is definitely not the case:

The worst part is that this isn’t even a Hello Kitty costume which pretty much ensures a Hello Kitty Hellish day for anyone that has to lay eyes on it…

Left by Whitney Rose on Facebook

I knew this was coming. I secretly prayed that it wouldn’t, but the mere fact that the evil feline exists pretty much proves that there is no God. It has become an annual torture fest beginning with Hello Kitty Halloween pumpkins landing in my email, then eventually a Hello Kitty Halloween costume ending up there as well. Although I had tried to mentally prepare myself for horror that would undoubtedly appear, I had no idea what an utterly frightening mess it would be. Judge for yourself:

Let’s hope that this fashion disaster convinces all the other fanatics out there that a Hello Kitty Halloween costume is just not in their best interest, and definitely not in the best interest of all the innocent bystanders whose minds will undoubtedly be scarred for life…

Sent in by Tawny

Update: Well, it certainly didn’t take long for the fanatics to prove that they do not learn from example…

Left by Elizabeth on Facebook

Left by Annette on Facebook

It has been shown time and again that Hello Kitty in herself is just plain wrong. Hello Kitty tattoos have a way of highlighting that wrongness in ways that make us all shake our heads in disbelief. Then, of course, there are tattoos that when seen are simply wrong in so many ways and there isn’t really much more to say. A perfect example:

In most cases, I would warn anyone who saw a tattoo like this on their girlfriend to run as far away as quickly as possible, but if someone can’t figure that out on their own, they’re already a lost cause and deserve the Hello Kitty Hell they find themselves in…

Sent in by Owl

It seems that the people at Sanrio have found that the reintroduction of the Hello Kitty vibrator shoulder massager has been so successful that they needed to add an attachment to their line of products and call it the Hello Kitty face massager:

While I would hope that this is used in the way it is supposed to be used (there is nothing worse in Hello Kitty Hell than seeing Kitty on kitty), I’m already terrifyingly frightened of the photos that I am likely to receive in the near future. Even more disturbing is the thought of what other type of attachments will be forthcoming if this, too, is a success…

Sent in by ami

The one thing that that you can be certain of is that the evil feline will always find some bizarre niche that nobody would ever think of to continue to sell herself. The Hello Kitty S&M voodoo doll is further proof of that:

Sent in by tiffany

There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers, Hello Kitty pasties, Hello Kitty handcuff nightmares and the Hello Kitty love hotel all exist, it shouldn’t be a shock that a Hello Kitty bandage sofa exists:

The mere fact that my wife thinks that this would be a good addition to our house scares me far more than her buying Hello Kitty low rise underwear for me because it ultimately means she thinks a scene like this would be a positive thing. Proof once again that no matter how bad Hello Kitty Hell gets, it finds a way to get worse…

Sent in by Ashley (via etsy) who deserves much more punishment than I could ever reasonably imagine for ever thinking that showing this to me could result in anything but terrifying nightmares for all that see it…

Living in Hello Kitty Hell ensures that there are plenty of mentally traumatic experiences that have to be survived on a regular basis. That being said, some of these are much more traumatic than others. The existence of Hello Kitty low rise underwear for men was one such instance and became even more traumatic when a variety of themed Hello Kitty underwear showed up at our door.

Now most people would see the above as proof that the evil feline had finally reached her limits. Of course, they would be wrong. Hello Kitty is always able to make something that one would assume could never get worse, oh so much more so. The Hello Kitty men’s skimpy briefs are further proof of this:

According to their product description, these Hello Kitty men’s briefs are the following (their wording):

Low rise men’s briefs underwear. So sexy, so lovely, so cute! Make you so Shining!

I don’t even want to think what will happen when my wife sees that these are available because it will surely mean moving to further depths of Hello Kitty Hell…

Left in the comments by Clint Catalyst who should be forced to wear these every day for the rest of his life as punishment for ever thinking that letting me know about these could possibly result in anything positive…

One would assume that after the Hello Kitty latex bed there would have been enough Hello Kitty kink for the week, but then that would be greatly underestimating how much Hello Kitty loves her sex. This was made readily apparent when I found out that the Hello Kitty S&M love hotel existing was not enough, and someone felt it essential to build another Hello Kitty bondage room:

While I certainly could see how Yoshi would enjoy finding Hello Kitty bound and gagged, I can’t say that I feel the same way. I say this with fear in my voice because I know that if I ever end up in a room like this, I will have something like this looking over me, undoubtedly holding a Hello Kitty flogger in hand. When it is possible for my scariest nightmares to become reality, I know that things are getting worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Joseph (via Kitacon) who should be forced to use the room Hello Kitty bondage room with his girlfriend as punishment for bringing my fears to life and for ever thinking that sending this to me would result in anything positive…

It became obvious long ago that despite the the innocent persona that Hello Kitty tries to cultivate, she has a lot of sex on her mind. There is no other reason that the people at Sanrio revived the Hello Kitty vibrator or that they would allow a campaign like this. This is not to mention the Hello Kitty bondage hotel or the Hello Kitty S&M flogger (I could go on, but I think you get the point). So is it really much of a surprise that there is a Hello Kitty latex bed?

Sex and suffocation – that pretty much sums up what the evil feline is all about…

Sent in by Miss D. (via Kink Engineering – NSFW site) who should have to sleep in a Hello Kitty latex bed for the rest of her life for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea…