Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Sex

Hello Kitty S&M Voodoo Doll

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 18:58:45 +0000

The one thing that that you can be certain of is that the evil feline will always find some bizarre niche that nobody would ever think of to continue to sell herself. The Hello Kitty S&M voodoo doll is further proof of that:

Sent in by tiffany

Hello Kitty Bondage Sofa (NSFW and Definitely Not For Your Sanity)

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 23:22:59 +0000

There really isn’t any doubt that the evil feline loves her sex. She can pretend all she wants that it is a shoulder massager, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that two kitties are much more likely to meet. Simply knowing that Hello Kitty latex beds, Hello Kitty S&M floggers , Hello Kitty pasties, Hello Kitty handcuff nightmares and the Hello Kitty love hotel all exist, it shouldn’t be a shock that a Hello Kitty bandage sofa exists:

The mere fact that my wife thinks that this would be a good addition to our house scares me far more than her buying Hello Kitty low rise underwear for me because it ultimately means she thinks a scene like this would be a positive thing. Proof once again that no matter how bad Hello Kitty Hell gets, it finds a way to get worse…

Sent in by Ashley (via etsy) who deserves much more punishment than I could ever reasonably imagine for ever thinking that showing this to me could result in anything but terrifying nightmares for all that see it…

Hello Kitty Briefs

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 18 May 2010 21:18:36 +0000

Living in Hello Kitty Hell ensures that there are plenty of mentally traumatic experiences that have to be survived on a regular basis. That being said, some of these are much more traumatic than others. The existence of Hello Kitty low rise underwear for men was one such instance and became even more traumatic when a variety of themed Hello Kitty underwear showed up at our door.

Now most people would see the above as proof that the evil feline had finally reached her limits. Of course, they would be wrong. Hello Kitty is always able to make something that one would assume could never get worse, oh so much more so. The Hello Kitty men’s skimpy briefs are further proof of this:

According to their product description, these Hello Kitty men’s briefs are the following (their wording):

Low rise men’s briefs underwear. So sexy, so lovely, so cute! Make you so Shining!

I don’t even want to think what will happen when my wife sees that these are available because it will surely mean moving to further depths of Hello Kitty Hell…

Left in the comments by Clint Catalyst who should be forced to wear these every day for the rest of his life as punishment for ever thinking that letting me know about these could possibly result in anything positive…

Hello Kitty Bondage Room

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 23:34:11 +0000

One would assume that after the Hello Kitty latex bed there would have been enough Hello Kitty kink for the week, but then that would be greatly underestimating how much Hello Kitty loves her sex. This was made readily apparent when I found out that the Hello Kitty S&M love hotel existing was not enough, and someone felt it essential to build another Hello Kitty bondage room:

While I certainly could see how Yoshi would enjoy finding Hello Kitty bound and gagged, I can’t say that I feel the same way. I say this with fear in my voice because I know that if I ever end up in a room like this, I will have something like this looking over me, undoubtedly holding a Hello Kitty flogger in hand. When it is possible for my scariest nightmares to become reality, I know that things are getting worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Joseph (via Kitacon) who should be forced to use the room Hello Kitty bondage room with his girlfriend as punishment for bringing my fears to life and for ever thinking that sending this to me would result in anything positive…

Hello Kitty Latex Bed

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 20:39:58 +0000

It became obvious long ago that despite the the innocent persona that Hello Kitty tries to cultivate, she has a lot of sex on her mind. There is no other reason that the people at Sanrio revived the Hello Kitty vibrator or that they would allow a campaign like this. This is not to mention the Hello Kitty bondage hotel or the Hello Kitty S&M flogger (I could go on, but I think you get the point). So is it really much of a surprise that there is a Hello Kitty latex bed?

Sex and suffocation – that pretty much sums up what the evil feline is all about…

Sent in by Miss D. (via Kink Engineering – NSFW site) who should have to sleep in a Hello Kitty latex bed for the rest of her life for ever thinking that sending this to me could be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Ultimate Cage Fighting

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:29:04 +0000

One would imagine that there would be certain sports where Hello Kitty, no matter how hard she tried, would never be accepted. Of course, that would once again greatly underestimating the evil feline and her quest to put her face absolutely every where. For those of you who still doubt, here is the Hello Kitty extreme cage fighter:

Much like the Hello Kitty men’s underwear (and the various other frightening variations), this photo is a disaster for any male that has a Hello Kitty fanatic in his life. My wife took one look at this photo and demanded to know, for the millionth time, why I am so against wearing Hello Kitty clothing. She should already know better.

Hello Kitty x aging men with beer bellies does not make an attractive photo opportunity (although it certainly does provide ample blackmail material so that she is guaranteed to get anything Hello Kitty she wants for the rest of her life simply by threatening to release the photos onto the Internet). Imagine of your dad wearing that outfit (ohhh, sorry about that — my bad. I should have told you to go to the bathroom or at least get a trash can handy) and you should pretty much agree that it is just wrong in so many ways. The fact that my wife refuses to acknowledge this obvious reality ensures that I remain painfully in the deepest depths of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Cathy who should have to watch all her loved ones fight this guy (I would say her, but from the sound of her email to me about how sexy this guy is, she would undoubtedly enjoy being in a ring with him herself) as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me would result in anything good…

Hello Kitty Sex Doll Harem (possibly NSFW)

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:45:56 +0000

One would think that it would be impossible to make a harem of sex dolls stored in the closet any creepier, but that is definitely not the case. That’s because when you place a large Hello Kitty plush on the top shelf to watch over them and a Hello Kitty night light on the floor so they don’t get scared at night, you pretty much have put together the creepiest room possible. To keep my sanity and prevent countless nightmares, I’m not even going to think about why those Hello Kitty items may be there…

Sent in by Getsu

Hello Kitty Latex Fashion Show

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:01:08 +0000

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…

As much as Hello Kitty claims that she isn’t about sex, the evidence (the thinly disguised Hello Kitty vibrator, the recent MAC make-up promotions and the Hello Kitty bondage hotel to name just a few examples) points to the contrary and it’s pretty obvious that if the evil feline thinks that it will sell, she is all for it. That, in turn, means that I have a lot more Hello Kitty Hell to look forward to…

Sent in by yelpkh who should have to watch this video over and over as punishment for ever thinking that sending it to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Bloodfest

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:01:10 +0000

There are some things about Hello Kitty fanatics I just don’t want to know. Apparently there is a a rave called Bloodfest where “the Infamous Boom Boom does his blood bath performance which is basically simulated sex in a tub full of blood and bones.” This year Boom Boom incorporated the below Hello Kitty plush into the act and for your sanity, I’ll leave out the details of what he did. While this certainly sounds like the crowd where the evil feline belongs, feel free not to share these stories with me in the future:

Sent in by Hello Kizee

Hello Kitty Pokemon Fetish (nsfw – or your sanity)

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:35:06 +0000

One would imagine that it really couldn’t get worse than the Hello Kitty fetish underwear, but then that would be highly underestimating the evil feline. Long after any normal person would stop and say, “Okay, this really has gone way too far,” Hello kitty is looking for ways to stretch the bounds of human reason to the point that we all just give up and accept her as our overlord so that she will just stop. If stretching these bounds requires a little help from Pokemon, so be it. As I have said it on many occasions before, you are better off leaving and enjoying the rest of your day because you can’t unsee the image and it will haunt you – you have been warned:

See, I told you…

Sent in by Physalis