Hello Kitty Hell

A single Hello Kitty bra is disturbing. The fact that stores sell whole racks of them is a pretty good reason to lose faith in the world: Sent in by Geoff (via Takecrew) which of course begs to ask the question why exactly he was looking at this stuff…

There seems to be a growing trend of Hello Kitty fanatics that not only get joy out of the torment detailed on the blog, but also in getting me in trouble with my wife. An email with the title “Hello Kitty plush” arrived in my email box and I made the bad assumption there would [...]

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog: Hello Kitty Uterus Plush Hello Kitty Guitar Meow! Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans Hello Kitty Cat Litter Hello Kitty Asics Shoes Hello Kitty MP3 Player And a few photo post updates: Hello Kitty Darth [...]

I received the following question in my email the other day: What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there? “Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics [...]

Some things you just can’t make up. The Hello Kitty vibrator shoulder massager is a perfect example. The Hello Kitty love hotel bondage room is another. I have no doubt that the Hello Kitty S&M pink leather flogger also belongs on this list:

I know that Hello Kitty Hell has moved to an entirely new level when Hello Kitty fanatics not only want to get their tattoos on this blog, but are willing to get me in trouble with my wife to do it. There is really no other way to explain this Hello Kitty angel and devil [...]

It had to happen. It was bad enough that my wife thought I should be wearing the Hello Kitty low rise underwear, but you can imagine my shock when they arrived at our door in three additional patterns as well:

How do dogs get back at Hello Kitty for all the evilness that she brings into their lives? Yoshi, a miniature schnauzer, took matters into his own paws and decided that a little alternative sexual entertainment with a sleeping Hello Kitty plush was in order:

While there are a lot of things in life that defy logic, there seems to be a disproportionate number of things Hello Kitty that can make this claim. That’s definitely the truth when it comes to Hello Kitty nipple tassels:

It really shouldn’t come as a surprise considering that there are Hello Kitty condoms that there is a Hello Kitty place to keep those condoms safe: The Hello Kitty condom keeper:

It’s not often that I get in trouble for looking at Hello Kitty stuff (my wife usually dreams that I would be willing to do this), but that is exactly what happened when she saw me looking at this email showing off Hello Kitty “Hey Baby” panties:

It’s always more than a bit scary when I open my emails with Hello Kitty photos attached because there can be something like the Hello Kitty low rise men’s underwear waiting to greet me inside:

Sometimes there just aren’t words… (the art image may not be safe for work and it is definitely not safe for your mind or future sanity — I seriously advise that you click away now, go to some other site and enjoy the entertainment that they provide, because if you choose to reject my words, [...]

It’s really not like we need any more proof that there is something extremely wrong in the world. Just going through a few pages of this blog will make that abundantly clear. But for those who may have reserved a tiny space in their mind with doubt, I assume this will thoroughly erase it – [...]

This is why Hello Kitty fanatics scare the hell out of me – they fashion things like this Hello Kitty bikini bottom that they believe is sexy, but just leaves everyone who sees it saying wtf?!?

While the Hello Kitty vibrator pretty much put to rest any doubt that Sanrio wanted to expand beyond kids, the recent collaborative between Hello Kitty and Aki Hoshino pretty much continues along these lines. For those unfamiliar, Aki Hoshino is a Japanese bikini model that has turned that into a b-list TV career: Not known [...]

I know it’s going to be a really bad Hello Kitty Hell day when something like this arrives in my mailbox. Seriously, this is what my nightmares are made of: This is just so wrong on so many different levels that I don’t even have words to describe how much it scares me. The worst [...]

I’ve grown used to getting email from Hello Kitty fans that take issue with my disgust of Hello Kitty to the point that they even wish death upon me, but this email was a change of pace. It is the first time I have received an email telling me that I don’t appreciate the “sexiness” [...]

You knew that they would show up eventually, but who knew they would be in the form of lollipops? Hello Kitty condoms: These are a quite disturbing development for reasons that should be obvious to anyone, but since Hello Kitty fanatics don’t usually follow the rules when it comes to the obvious, I will expound [...]

While I find everything Hello Kitty disturbing, there are some things that turn up the disturbed barometer a bit more than others. I’m still having trouble figuring out if this Hello Kitty underwear that Sanrio is producing in multiple patterns is for boys or girls: In either case, they are just plain wrong. And a [...]