Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Strange

Hello Kitty Beach Balls

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:28:36 +0000

One would hope that it would be possible to escape the evil feline every now and again, but Hello Kitty always does her best to make sure that isn’t possible. Even a trip to the local beach is wrought with the risk of coming across a 26 foot tall Hello Kitty balloon (with all her character friends as giant beach ball floating in the water) to guarantee that a perfectly good day at the beach will be ruined:

I think the body expression of the two boys upon seeing this says it all…

Sent in by Ray (via nypost)

Hello Kitty Devil Worship

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 23:59:18 +0000

Apparently there is a rumor going around that Hello Kitty was created as a result of a pact with the devil. While I would like to claim that this idea was mine (hey, I live in Hello Kitty Hell), it turns out that this episode is far more sinister:

The story is how Hello Kitty came to be…that a mother or father, depending on the version of the story had a child that had cancer. The parent made a pact with the devil that if the child was cured they would create a character in the devil’s honor that would be adored worldwide. There are different variations but they all boil down to the point that Hello Kitty is evil and that God fearing people should stay away from any HK products as they are affiliated with the Devil and Devil worship.

While this is not technically true, it’s hard to dismiss completely since Sanrio likes to use the devil theme on many of their products:

This is how I assume this rumor came to be:

Sanrio was running out of products on which to place the evil feline and decided that one demographic they had not yet converted in large numbers were devil worshippers. Since the goal of Hello Kitty is world domination, the corporate offices made up a story that would appeal to devil worshippers and began sending out the email. The plan has worked brilliantly and you can now count several hundred thousand devil worshippers as ardent Hello Kitty fans. While this may at first appear to be over the top and unbelievable, remember that Sanrio still officially pretends that their shoulder massager is nothing more than a shoulder massager. When you think about, all of a sudden this makes a whole lot more sense. Just saying…

Sent in by Bob

Hello Kitty Peace

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 21:10:05 +0000

What does the evil feline do when she has plastered herself on a Keltec pistol? You get the fanatics to make it appear that it is all about peace and love (while you continue to add to your stockpile of Hello Kitty weapons so that you can eventually take over the world)

Sent in by kwikrnu

Hello Kitty Office Cubicle

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 22:50:53 +0000

You either had to have done something amazingly horrible in a past life or pissed off your co-workers to no end to deserve to have something like this done to your office cubicle. Either way, it is a good sign that it’s time to find a new job. I think this might even qualify as torture under the Geneva convention.

Sent in by Jose who says, “So a couple of years ago, one of my co-workers brought his lunch that his fiancee had packed in a hello kitty bag because they ran out of regular ones. We (of course) proceeded to mock him mercilessly for a few weeks about it. When he finally got married and went on his honeymoon, this is what we did to his cubicle. It took 5 of us a few hours to do it, and probably even used some pictures from your site.”

Hello Kitty Cthulhu Tattoo

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:14:57 +0000

H. P. Lovecraft is likely turning in his grave (and stunned that his creation could be made so much more horrific). It is already well known that there should be a law forbidding Hello Kitty tattoo combinations. The Hello Kitty Cthulhu tattoo simply furthers this fact…

Left by Jenna on facebook

Hello Kitty Grim Reaper Tattoo

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 19:06:37 +0000

It is never a good idea to get a Hello Kitty tattoo, but I guess if you are going to get one, exposing the true side of the evil feline is the way to go. Now you know exactly what you will see when your time is up…

Sent in by christine

Hello Kitty Fishing Reel

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 15:58:15 +0000

One would assume that there were certain sports that would be free of the evil feline such as fishing. of course, this would be greatly underestimating Hello Kitty’s desire to place her face on absolutely everything. No longer can a fisherman request fishing gear as a birthday gift without the risk of something like this being given to them: The Hello Kitty fishing reel.

I can’t even imagine the Hello Kitty Hell of having to try and explain to your fishing buddies why you have to use something like this…

Sent in by Pinky

Hello Kitty S&M Voodoo Doll

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 18:58:45 +0000

The one thing that that you can be certain of is that the evil feline will always find some bizarre niche that nobody would ever think of to continue to sell herself. The Hello Kitty S&M voodoo doll is further proof of that:

Sent in by tiffany

Hello Kitty Biker Girl

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 01:14:05 +0000

You probably believe that when the end of the world arrives, things are going to get bad. What you don’t realise is just how bad that may be. I have no doubt this is exactly what you will see staring at you — and you will instantly know that there is no hope.

There isn’t much that could make one wish for a zombie attack, but all of a sudden an earth full of zombies seems mild by comparison. Of course, if there were a zombie attack, Hello Kitty would make sure that she was also a part of that. Just one more reminder that in the end, we will all be suffering in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Thomas

Hello Kitty Luxury Water

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 20:34:28 +0000

One would assume that Hello Kitty had covered all the water options ( the Hello Kitty water dispenser — Hello Kitty regular bottled water — Hello Kitty premium bottled water — Hello Kitty body shaped mineral water — Hello Kitty skin water), but that would be greatly underestimating her ability to find new markets. Apparently, she felt that she was missing the luxury water market:

The luxury bottled water comes in five colors which represent different themes: Red (friendship), Pink (cute), yellow (heartful), green (wish) and lavender (sweet). You can buy all five for $500 or individually at $100 a pop (seriously). I guess that it is appropriate that when the heat in Hello Kitty Hell increases, the evil feline graciously provides $100 bottles of water to help put out the fire she has created…

Sent in by becky who should have to buy and drink these on a daily basis (before paying for any other expenses she has) as punishment for ever thinking it would be a good idea to let me wife know about these.