Apparently there are some people that aren’t simply satisfied with ruining Halloween with an abundance of the evil feline, but also feel it necessary to throw in another beloved iconic toy to ruin as well. When this happens, the result is stuff like the Hello Kitty Lego Halloween figures:

There should be a special place waiting in Hello Kitty hell for any person that does something like this…

Sent in by George (via schfio where you can see the others in this series)

One of the things that I fear most about posting Hello Kitty crap is that it will lead to more Hello Kitty crap in my email. A perfect example is when I posted the Hello Kitty shooting target on Facebook. Christine then offhandedly asked the question, “For those who don’t have access to guns, how about a Hello Kitty dartboard?” Guess what ended up in my mailbox a few days later? Was there any doubt that it was a Hello Kitty dartboard?

Once again, this really shouldn’t be much of a surprise. The fact that Hello Kitty darts exist pretty much guaranteed that a Hello Kitty dartboard also existed. What was a surprise was how the evil feline decided to make such a mockery out of the dartboard.

You know that the people at Sanrio were sitting there saying, “I wonder if we make the most ridiculous dart board ever if the fanatics would still be willing to buy it?” and then went about creating it. “Let’s just put random Hello Kitty faces and hearts of different sizes on the board and give them random point amounts. Then to make it even more ridiculous, we can leave the middle blank so that a bulls eye on a regular dart board will be worth the least amount possible on our dart board.” As they sat there laughing and congratulating themselves on how they could completely mangle the concept of a dart board, they knew that it didn’t matter because the fanatics would love it anyway — which pretty much sums up most Hello Kitty crap and ensures my continued life in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by sarah

Update: She doesn’t seem to do too well on other Hello Kitty dart boards as well:

Sent in by angel

While all seasons suck when you live in Hello Kitty Hell, the end of the year is the worst. I know immediately when October arrives because people start sending me stuff like Hello Kitty Halloween costumes and Hello Kitty pumpkins. And that is just the tip of the iceberg of the Hello Kitty Halloween crap that exists out there. To perfectly illustrate this point, I present the exclusive Hello Kitty Build-A-Bear Halloween orange witch:

I readily admit that I don’t get Build-A-Bear. This is probably not much of a surprise since I do not get Hello Kitty and they seem to be about on par with each other when it comes to absolute annoying uselessness. As far as I can tell, you take the dead carcass of a stuffed animal and, instead of ripping the head off and putting the poor thing out of its misery, you stuff it with a bunch of synthetic crap so that it has to suffer for an extended period of time on a shelf in a corner of your room somewhere. Once stuffed, and thinking that its life could never get any worse, you buy it all kinds of ridiculous clothing and accessories (that just happen to cost more than real clothing and accessories) to ensure the poor plush will live the rest of its life in complete humiliation..

Combine this Build-A-Bear absurdity with Hello Kitty and the pain rises to a level that you actually wish you had access to a Hello Kitty gun to be able to put yourself out of your misery. And to think, the Hello Kitty Hellish season has just begun…

Sent in by Elaine

Most people put Hello Kitty and Halloween together to create some of the most awful combinations possible, but every once in awhile someone comes up with a quality idea on how to treat the evil feline at the end of October. Jason Freeny (of Hello Kitty anatomy fame) decided that Halloween 2010 should be dedicated to the dissection of the official Balzac Hello Kitty Skeleton Costume vinyl figure:

Now, I certainly would have enjoyed seeing a whole lot more blood and guts (and screams certifying that the dissection was done while Hello Kitty was still alive), but I will still approve of cutting Hello Kitty into pieces as an excellent way to celebrate the 31st of October. Does this mean that Hello Kitty is officially dead?

Sent in by Jason Freeny also found on facebook.

I have no idea what the purpose of silly bandz are, so I guess it makes perfect sense that the evil feline would want to align herself with them:

I thought, for a brief second, that I did know their purpose. But for some unfathomable reason, my wife was not pleased (on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag not pleased) with me when I started shooting Hello Kitty silly bandz around the house like regular rubber bands at her Hello Kitty collection. Lesson learned…now that I know the punishment, I also know that if I decide to shoot at Hello Kitty again, I should choose something that will actually do some damage…

Sent in by Emi

This is why you never want to have a daughter with a Hello Kitty fanatic. When it comes time to give a gift to your daughter, somehow it will get rationalized that a full size custom Hello Kitty Darth Vader model head would be a good idea:

Sent in by Holly (via JD Hancock – used with permission)

If there is one rule of thumb when living with a Hello Kitty fanatic, it is never to leave anything that you value where the Hello Kitty fanatic has access to it. Why you ask? Because if you do, you’ll end up with an Xbox controller that looks like this…

left by eignasan via Twitter who says “My boyfriend will love his improved HK controller when he sees it.”

Update: Apparently Gamecube game controllers are also not immune against being Hello Kittified:

Sent in by Fluff who asks, “Why do girls feel the need to collect all that rubbish? Check out what my gf did to my gamecube controller!”

It’s important to let all those out there who make a special effort to get their Hello Kitty fanatic significant other something that she would like to immediately stop it. It not only puts you deeper into Hello Kitty Hell, it makes it worse for all of us who are desperately trying to escape from it. Case in point, the Hello Kitty Rockband Guitar:

While getting a Hello Kitty Rockband guitar for any Hello Kitty fanatic should be considered a serious lapse in judgement worthy of excluding you from the human race, it goes far beyond your own torment. That is because as soon as my wife saw it (and I can pretty much assume the same has/will occur with any other Hello Kitty fanatic out there who sees it), I received the Hello Kitty fanatic “this is going to be an extraordinary Hello Kitty hellish day” question: “Why don’t you ever get things like that for me?”

While you may assume that the gift you get your Hello Kitty fanatic partner only effects your little world, it has a rippling effect to every other person suffering in the depths of Hello Kitty Hell. By getting something like this, every other Hello Kitty fanatic feels that they are also entitled to something equally as horrendous. They will then use the example of you getting that Hello Kitty crap for your Hello Kitty fanatic as a reason that they also deserve equally terrifying Hello Kitty crap themselves.

So the next time you feel pressured to get your significant other something covered with the evil feline, don’t just think about yourself. Think about all the other poor souls (or specifically me) that will end up suffering far more as they will likely end up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for not being as Hello Kitty appreciative as you are pretending to be.

Sent in by Josh (photo used with permission) who really does deserve a special place in his own Hello Kitty Hell for ever thinking that 1) getting this for his girlfriend would be a good idea and 2) after doing so, thinking that sending it to me so that my wife could see it would somehow also be a good idea…

Apparently Bratz doesn’t feel that Barbie should be the only one to get to wear the dress. It really doesn’t make a difference what doll is wearing it. It’s going to give the average non Hello Kitty fanatic nightmares…

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission)

What is worse than Lady Gaga dressed in a Hello Kitty plush dress? The thought of a line of Lady Gaga Barbies wearing that Hello Kitty plush dress:

My wife took one look at this and thought it was the greatest thing ever (The fact that not every Hello Kitty item can be “the greatest thing ever” seems to be one of those impossibilities that Hello Kitty fanatics conveniently ignore), and thinks it would make a wonderful addition to her collection. I think that when you take three wrongs (Lady Gaga + Barbie + Hello Kitty) and combine them together, they not only don’t make a right, but you have basically set in motion the conditions for the human race to give up all hope. That’s certainly the point in Hello Kitty Hell I reached when I saw it…

Sent in by tiff (via veik11 – used with permission) who should have to spend her life creating Hello Kitty Lady Gaga Barbies as punishment for ever thinking that sending me this photo could ever be a good idea…