Sent in by radioman

This news is quite depressing to me because I have been thinking of getting a Razor for short distance transportation around Japan. My wife knows this and hasn’t been all that enthusiastic about it (”it’s something that only kids use”) when I mentioned it the past, but she has abruptly changed her mind (imagine that…) with the news that Razor will be making Hello Kitty models in the coming months. In fact, she has gone so far to suggest that we could share one or even get a matching pair which would make a wonderful gift for each of us (I can already tell that this Christmas is not going to be good).

I’m pretty damn sure that a 6′ 3″ foreigner riding around on a Hello Kitty razor in Japan would quickly land me in jail as a thief of young girl’s toys. When I tried to explain that the Hello Kitty razor was actually mine, they would undoubtedly extend my stay in the cell for being mentally unstable if they could not designate it as some other type of illegal activity. All I know is that no matter what eventually happens, it’s not going to be good and will likely increase the heat in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by trinity who should have to travel by only Hello Kitty razor for the rest of her life as punishment for sending this photo and news to me and giving my wife the horrific idea that the Hello Kitty razor would be a good thing for me…

My wife just absolutely adores this collaborative figure from Dr. Romanelli and Medicom and that Hello Kitty has such cute internal organs. I made the mistake of trying to explain the obvious that Hello Kitty really doesn’t have internal organs which elicited a stern warning look that I should not carry on any further. My suggestion that maybe we should start cutting open different Hello Kitty lying around the house (hey, if we have a Hello kitty knife, why not put it to good use?) to see if their internal organs matched this figure didn’t go over too well either as probably should have been expected.

Although I pushed the limit, I did manage to stop before I was sent to the couch to sleep in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag. Sometimes, despite the overwhelming urge not to, even I manage to stop while still ahead in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Zooey (via hypebeast) who should have to dissect all the Hello Kitties she ever comes across as punishment for ever thinking it would be a good idea to send this to me and almost getting me sent to the dreaded Hello Kitty sleeping bag…

Sent in by patty

Sent in by wiifan

Sent in by Kylie

Realising that there was a niche area that Sanrio had somehow failed to Hello Kittify (they are probably already working on a line as we speak), Miss Heather jumped at the opportunity to provide Hello Kitty fanatics with something that represents the true desire of Hello Kitty — to destroy anyone and everyone that doesn’t like her.

You provide me a Hello Kitty plush doll and I’ll custom-tailor a burqa to conceal her shameful body parts (NSFW). I’ll even toss in a gun or make her a suicide bomber (obviously not using real explosives) if you wish.

Hello Kitty as a suicide bomber makes a lot of sense to me coming from any religion (in fact, she doesn’t even need the suicidal tendencies to be hidden beneath religious fanaticism since this is already encompassed in her very being – the Hello Kitty bomb is probably already programed inside her stuffing when she is made). We already know that she does everything in her power to convert you to her religion and it doesn’t take a leap of faith to imagine that if you refuse to drink this kool aid that you will be targeted for death by explosion (or, even worse, cuteness overkill — which I think the Geneva Convention should add to its list of inhumane torture devices since it’s much worse and causes much more pain than many other methods on their list). Now that I think about it, a Hello Kitty suicide bomber may be the easy way out of Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Friedrich (via this blog post) who should have to worship Hello Kitty religion on a daily basis for the rest of his life as punishment for ever thinking that sending something that extends Hello Kitty’s religious takeover to me would be a good idea…

There is just something seriously wrong in the world when a classic game allows railroads to become wagons, Boardwalk to become a hair accessory store and all the money to contain images of the evil feline.

It’s always a disaster when Hello Kitty comes out with a version of any game. My wife assumes that because I like games, I should also like games that have been Hello Kittified. Of course, this puts me in a no win situation. If I try to get out of playing the Hello Kitty version of the game by saying that I don’t like that particular game, then I can never play that game again (and if I have already let it be known I like the game, this isn’t even an option) without the threat of ending up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag. The other option is playing the Hello Kitty version which usually means suffering through several hours of pain more awful than slowly having your fingernails ripped from your hands with pliers — which pretty much sums up what it’s like living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Jen who should have to play Hello Kitty Monopoly 24/7 for the rest of the year for ever thinking for a minute that sending this to me could be a good idea…

I like the Wii and I have had a lot of fun playing the games on it, but I know from horrifying experience where this is all going. The Hello Kitty Wii dance pad is, unfortunately, only the tip of the iceberg. It won’t be long before the evil feline is placing her image on every Wii accessory imaginable and after that, can the Hello Kitty Wii complete gaming system be that far behind?

Of course, my wife loves it and thinks that it’s doubly great because she knows it is for something I already like. Somehow with her Hello Kitty fanatic reasoning this translates to I will like playing it even more with Hello Kitty…

Even though I will be able to get out some of my frustration by stomping on her head as hard as I can (all while delicately making it appear like I’m not stomping — I don’t want to end up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag), somehow I don’t think that the coming pink invasion is going help me improve my Nintendo Wii scores. Upset stomachs and dry heaving doesn’t make for optimal physical activity, but it is a sure sign that I’m still in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by dora12 who should be forced to do extreme physical activity on a daily basis in the name of Hello Kitty fitness for thinking for even a moment that sending this to me could result in anything positive…

When people with booths at the Comic Con decide that making a pink Hello Kitty stormtrooper is a good idea, there is no doubt that the evil feline has clawed her way into the imagination of far too many people for the the world to be safe. There must be more than a few Star Wars fans turning over in their graves (soon to be Hello Kittified of course…)

Sent in by Jessica who should have to wear this horrendous costume for the rest of the year for even imagining for a moment that sending me this could be a good idea…