Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Vehicle

Hello Kitty Ferrari

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:25:09 +0000

You know that the results are not going to be good when a Hello Kitty fanatic has a lot of money. The one fact that we could console ourselves with when seeing the Hello Kitty Ferrari was that it was photoshopped, but you knew it was simply a matter of time that a Hello Kitty fanatic with a lot of money thought that making a real Hello Kitty Ferrari would be a good idea. If you love cars, simply walk away at this point and don’t come back because you won’t be able to undo what you have just seen:

While the horrific mutilation of this car brings tears of pain to my eyes, my wife absolutely loves the idea of a Hello Kitty Ferrari. She would love to have one among the fleet of Hello Kitty cars that she hopes to one day own. Sometimes it’s a true blessing that there are limited funds here in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by SFR (via dekit) who should have to have all his future cars Hello Kittified as punishment for ever thinking that sending these photos to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Roller Coaster

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 16:01:29 +0000

I’m really not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that Hello Kitty roller coasters even exist or that a grown male would insist on sitting in the front of one…

Sent in by kristy

Hello Kitty Car Window Decal

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:01:11 +0000

It has always seemed that Hello Kitty has been subtly letting me know how she feels about me. While my wife insists that the 1974 pose is Hello Kitty sucking her finger, it seems that she is doing something a little different with her middle finger to me. Well, it turns out that the evil feline has decided to end the subtleties and let everyone know exactly how she feels about them. Welcome the true feelings Hello Kitty has for you:

Sent in by drekls

Hello Kitty Razor

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:01:06 +0000

Yet another company sells its soul to the evil feline and Hello Kitty continues her quest to Hello Kittify every form of transportation possible with a marketing deal that will have Razor produce Hello Kitty razors in the near future:

This news is quite depressing to me because I have been thinking of getting a Razor for short distance transportation around Japan. My wife knows this and hasn’t been all that enthusiastic about it (”it’s something that only kids use”) when I mentioned it the past, but she has abruptly changed her mind (imagine that…) with the news that Razor will be making Hello Kitty models in the coming months. In fact, she has gone so far to suggest that we could share one or even get a matching pair which would make a wonderful gift for each of us (I can already tell that this Christmas is not going to be good).

I’m pretty damn sure that a 6′ 3″ foreigner riding around on a Hello Kitty razor in Japan would quickly land me in jail as a thief of young girl’s toys. When I tried to explain that the Hello Kitty razor was actually mine, they would undoubtedly extend my stay in the cell for being mentally unstable if they could not designate it as some other type of illegal activity. All I know is that no matter what eventually happens, it’s not going to be good and will likely increase the heat in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by trinity who should have to travel by only Hello Kitty razor for the rest of her life as punishment for sending this photo and news to me and giving my wife the horrific idea that the Hello Kitty razor would be a good thing for me…

Hello Kitty Gangster Car

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:49:59 +0000

It’s not often that the initial reaction of my wife to something with the evil feline on it is one of puzzlement, but that is exactly what her reaction was when she saw the Hello Kitty gangster car. She sat silent for several minutes studying the photo before looking at me and matter of factly stating, “But the car isn’t even cute.” I think this is a first that the evil feline has failed to cutify (I know, that isn’t even a word, but I know I’ve heard Hello Kitty fanatics use it before) something she has been placed on in the eyes of my wife…

First sent in by ~Dawn C (then by far too many people after that) via People of Walmart

Hello Kitty Pick-Up Truck

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:59:02 +0000

Since there are already way too many Hello Kitty cars out there – everything from Smart Cars to minivans – it should be no surprise that a Hello Kitty pick-up truck is roaming the streets terrorizing all those unfortunate enough to see it. I guess it makes sense. The Hello Kitty fanatic needs a place to put her Hello Kitty shotgun…

Sent in by Miffylv

Hello Kitty Spaceship

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 07:01:09 +0000

If you have followed the blog for any length of time, you know that I have said time and again that the evil feline is trying to take over the world. One would assume that this statement would be sufficiently broad to cover all the havoc that Hello Kitty wants to create in her never ending quest to turn everything a Pepto Bismol pink, but I now see that I have vastly underestimated her plans. Welcome to the future of space travel in the Hello Kitty spaceship:

Yes, I will give you a minute to wipe the coffee off of your computer screen.

Of course, my wife absolutely loves it and would love to take a ride in it. She thinks that traveling in a Hello Kitty spaceship would be the best way to make friends with any alien life forms we may meet along the way.

I’m not so sure about this. If I was an alien civilization and there was a giant cartoon cat spaceship like this hovering over my world, I would instantly question the sanity of any species that would want to create such an abomination. My first reaction would be to blow the thing to smithereens and ask questions later. Just saying…

Who would have guessed that the depths of Hello Kitty Hell would lead to space…

Sent in by lunastar (via Sevens Heaven – Image used with permission of Sevensheaven.nl) who should be forced into space in the Hello Kitty spaceship to live the rest of her life as punishment for ever thinking that sending me this image would be a good idea.

Hello Kitty Steering Wheel

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 07:01:35 +0000

My wife has already pimped out our car with a Hello Kitty steering wheel cover which I assumed was as bad as the steering wheel area was going to get, but that was before the Hello Kitty steering wheel mod landed in my email box:

My wife took one look at the mod and squealed in delight, “I want one of those for our car!” I, on the other hand, immediately thought about what would happen if I ever got into a car wreck with that steering wheel. Either it would penetrate into your chest doing a reverse Alien act, but still having “He died with Hello Kitty in his heart” written across the Hello Kitty tombstone, or a permanent Hello Kitty bruise splattered across my chest. Either way, it wouldn’t be a positive addition to Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by a Pauline (via zzkang’s photoblog) who should have to endure unbearable pain and suffering as punishment for ever thinking that sending this to me and putting the idea into my wife’s head could ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Worst of and Weekly Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 07:01:46 +0000

I received the following question in my email the other day:

What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?

“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, let’s not even go there. I guess my life has become so Hello Kittified that I have a hard time distinguishing between Hello Kitty bad, Hello Kitty worse and Hello Kitty worst. So here’s a challenge/question – what are the top three worst Hello Kitty items I have listed on this blog (yes, I know there are a number of items even worse that I have not listed, but I try to keep this blog semi family safe) and why do you think so?

I’m hoping that some of you will be able to put together a rational explanation that I can give to my wife to show her that some of this crap is downright crazy — all while not getting me sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know. It isn’t going to work, but I have found that deluding myself that there is hope of one day escaping from Hello Kitty Hell makes the Hello Kitty toast and coffee go down easier in the morning…

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump:

Hello Kitty DragonCon Pasties Nightmare
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
Hello Kitty Minivan
Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Laptop
Hello Kitty Robot
Hello Kitty Bed
Hello Kitty Rain Boots
Hello Kitty Knife
Hello Kitty Pink Room
Hello Kitty Cutting Board
Hello Kitty Mascot Costumes

And a few photo post updates:

Hello Kitty Bra Shop
Hello Kitty Anime
Hello Kitty Bar
Hello Kitty sandwich

Hello Kitty Bus

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:01:24 +0000

You would think that the one time that I could somewhat escape Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I take weekend trips around Japan. Yes, there will be the evil feline in every store and shop we walk into, but at least I can escape for a short period as we actually travel. That, of course, assumes that the Hello Kitty fanatic doesn’t know about the many Hello Kitty buses that dot Japan (which my wife most definitely does):

Now I know what you’re thinking. If Hello Kitty is on the outside, then it’s only the people on the street that have to deal with her. Of course, those of you thinking that have greatly underestimated the terror that Sanrio has in store for anyone that has to sit in a Hello Kitty tour bus:

Yep, after riding around for a day having to look at that interior, you will be ready to throw yourself in front of any large vehicle heading in the opposite direction at high speed — because even getting run over by an 18 wheeler would be far less painful than having to endure another minute inside that bus…

Sent in by far too many readers who should all have to travel for the rest of the year by Hello Kitty bus as punishment for ever thinking that sending me these photos would be a good idea…