Hello Kitty Hell

If you have followed the blog for any length of time, you know that I have said time and again that the evil feline is trying to take over the world. One would assume that this statement would be sufficiently broad to cover all the havoc that Hello Kitty wants to create in her never [...]

My wife has already pimped out our car with a Hello Kitty steering wheel cover which I assumed was as bad as the steering wheel area was going to get, but that was before the Hello Kitty steering wheel mod landed in my email box:

I received the following question in my email the other day: What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there? “Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics [...]

You would think that the one time that I could somewhat escape Hello Kitty Hell is when my wife and I take weekend trips around Japan. Yes, there will be the evil feline in every store and shop we walk into, but at least I can escape for a short period as we actually travel. [...]

It’s never a good day when a celebrity is caught showing off some type of Hello Kitty product and then that photo is sent to me. In the mind of the Hello Kitty fanatic, this somehow legitimizes Hello Kitty. This is my wife’s reasoning — if Anna Paquin is riding around on her Hello Kitty [...]

The problem with living with a Hello Kitty fanatic is that at some point that find yourself in a Hello Kitty car (unfortunately, in all likelihood the car in questions will be owned by your significant other which means that it is also your transportation some of the time). While my wife is doing her [...]

The weather is getting nicer and when you’re in Hello Kitty Hell, the number one priority is to get out of the house and as far away from the Hello Kitty mess inside as possible. That, of course, was my thinking when asking my wife to go camping, but it seems that the evil feline [...]

Although I have suspected it for some time, I am now convinced that there is a special unit at Sanrio that makes Hello Kitty items with the sole purpose being to irritate the hell out of the significant others of Hello Kitty fanatics. In fact, it would not surprise me if they have it nicknamed [...]

You would think that public transportation would have some pity on the fine folks that use their service, but that is certainly not the case — at least in Italy. It’s kind of hard to imagine something ever being a bigger eyesore than a Hello Kitty pink tram, but obviously that doesn’t stop the evil [...]

One would assume that a personalized Hello Kitty license plate (or two) would be about as bad as it could get (although they do have those Hello Kitty license plate thingies that don’t even have names), but that would be greatly underestimating the evil feline. It appears that she was able to slip a few [...]

You knew that it would eventually happen. If a Hello Kitty motorcycle exists, it was only a matter of time for the Hello Kitty motorcycle racing leathers to appear:

This is the problem with Hello Kitty fanatics. When I make a post saying that Hello Kitty and romantic do not go together, that does not mean that I want you to suddenly start sending me photos of anything and everything that is Hello Kitty that my wife might even remotely consider romantic. For instance, [...]

There are certain things that should never be created, and Hello Kitty has more than her fair share of them. You can add the Hello Kitty pedicab to the list:

It seems that the Hello Kitty VW bug that I mentioned earlier is currently up for auction on eBay: Of course, upon seeing this my wife wanted us to buy immediately buy it. While the mere fact that Hello Kitty Hell exists pretty much is proof that no God exists, some higher being was looking [...]

I have long learned that it is never a good idea to open my email in the morning if I have been drinking the night before. Seeing Hello Kitty emails is bad enough, but viewing Hello Kitty emails with a hangover is just about the worst way to wake up in the morning. Lately, however, [...]

What’s worse than a car that has been painted with Hello Kitty decals all over the outside? A car that has been Hello Kittified from the inside out like this Hello Kitty Scion xB monstrosity: The really scary part of this (and the realization that Hello Kitty Hell has progressed way too far) is that [...]

I hate receiving emails with photos like this because it will undoubtedly inspire my wife (something that we all know is definitely not needed for any Hello Kitty fanatic). This is exactly what my wife wants to do to our car. It’s bad enough that our car is getting Hello Kittified from the inside out [...]

I always know when I receive photos like these that it’s going to be another Hello Kitty Hellish day. It’s not like my wife doesn’t already have a hundred Hello Kitty reasons to want to visit Taiwan. Between the Hello Kitty plane and airport, the Hello Kitty hotel, the Hello Kitty pastry shop and Hello [...]

It’s when I receive emails like this, it’s going to be a bad day in Hello Kitty Hell (then again, can there ever really be a “good” day when your life is surrounded by the evil feline?) because I know the reaction of my wife will be the complete opposite of mine. Unwritten rules in [...]

I’ve been avoiding writing about our car lately because, basically, it’s slowly becoming a Hello Kitty pimped out nightmare. It has gotten to the point where I don’t even bother locking it anymore because there is absolutely no way anyone in their right mind would ever consider stealing it. Now my wife is adding Hello [...]