Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Video

Hello Kitty Rie Miyazawa Broadway

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:22:16 +0000

This is exactly how my wife thinks all women should dress (seriously) and why she looks forward to Halloween so much. It certainly doesn’t help that she is a huge Rie Miyazawa fan as well which means I have to watch this commercial over and over and over again.

Welcome to a tiny taste of my Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Adora (via tokyomango)

Hello Kitty Theme Song Ending

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 22:40:09 +0000

There is never a good reason for anyone to ever have to listen to the Hello Kitty theme song (besides possibly terrorist interrogation). Despite this, not listening to the Hello Kitty theme song is not a realistic possibility if you live with a Hello Kitty fanatic. I guess if one must listen to it, there should be, at the very minimum, a quality ending.

Sent in by James

Hello Kitty Official Music Video

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:02:15 +0000

Hello Kitty has an official music video, and although it is a terrible song, it does have one highly redeeming value — the words have absolutely nothing to do with Hello Kitty.

The immediate question is why has Hello Kitty decided not to try to ruin the hearing of her legions of fans with the usual sickly sweetness? My guess is that the people at Sanrio figured that both the Hello Kitty theme song and Hello Kitty online theme song had ended up disabling the spending of too many of the fan base by putting them into diabetic music comas, so they needed try something new.

Of course, this change will undoubtedly be a bad thing in the long run. By packaging a random song as an official Hello Kitty music video which has nothing to do with the evil feline, the Sanrio marketing department may have found an easy way to release a new Hello Kitty official music video every week. Pick a random song. Pile lots of Hello Kitty crap in the background. Hello Kitty fanatics can’t resist and go out and buy everything in the video. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

All I know is that the one thing I have learned over the years is that rarely does anything good result in my Hello Kitty Hell when Hello Kitty tries to do something new for whatever reason…

Sent in by daisy who should have to listen to this song 24/7 for the next month as punishment for ever thinking that sending something like this to me would ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Nightmare Video

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:42:57 +0000

One of the most difficult aspects of living in Hello Kitty Hell is explaining the complete fanaticism of Hello Kitty fanatics to people who have never met one. They simply have no reference, and any sane person would find it unbelievable the lengths that fanatics will go to surround themselves with the evil feline. This video gives a taste of what every Hello Kitty fanatic would like their house to look like (my wife is certainly doing her utmost to equal, if not surpass, it).

If you are dating a Hello Kitty fanatic, this is what you have to look forward to. It should give you the clarity to run away from the relationship as fast as you can. If not, feel free to take out a Hello Kitty knife (or any other of the numerous Hello Kitty weapons) and end your life now. I guarantee it will be a lot less painful than what is in store for you…

Left by Let The Wookie Win on twitter who should have to watch this video continuously for the next month as punishment for inspiring my wife to work harder on Hello Kittifying our place in the US…

Hello Kitty Cat Wars Star Wars Anime

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 21:10:07 +0000

You knew when Hello Kitty came out with an anime series that it wouldn’t be good. What you probably failed to understand was how truly horrid it would be. In her never ending quest to destroy and co-opt anything even remotely popular, the evil feline once again has modded Star Wars in ways that should never be considered with “Cat Wars.”

While I should write that I will now give a spoiler, I really don’t need to because when I explain it you won’t believe me — but you can’t make these things up. This video featuring Darth Cat Nip, Princess Kitty, Master Fluke, Hop 2 D 2, Hobi Kat Nobi and, of course, The Fur. The question is can you last until Master Fluke and Darth Kat Nip fight with their Flea Sabers. Seriously, watch at your own risk!

The worst part of watching this was that my wife saw my jaw on the ground in disbelief and took that to mean that I was actually interested. I don’t know if it is worse having my wife now constantly wanting me to watch this series or instantly thinking of “The Fur” and “flea sabers” when Star Wars is brought up. You can not unthink these things which ensures never ending Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Furry Tail Theater: Wizard of Paws / Pinocchio Penguin

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 04:46:56 +0000

You would think that life in the US would be less Hello Kitty Hellish than in Japan, but you’d be wrong. My wife has discovered that in the US she can watch the Hello Kitty Furry Tail Series over and over again. Don’t think it could be that bad? Try watching for 5 minutes without wishing that a large space object of any kind would fall out of the sky and put you out of your misery.

Oh, it gets much worse. There were 13 episodes created before someone realized that the human race was seriously considering self mass extinction and had the good sense to stop the agony being inflicted upon everyone. Unfortunately, he did not have the good sense to destroy all the previous episodes created which severely detracted from the good karma he had received for stopping the episodes in the first place. This is because now those who live with Hello Kitty fanatics have to watch the same 13 episodes over and over again which can arguably be even worse:

Hello Kitty fanatics, sensing the sheer terror that non Hello Kitty fanatics immediately display whenever the topic of watching these videos comes up have turned it into an easy way to get anything they want done around the house.

wife: “The fence needs fixing.”

me: “I’m a bit tired. Give me a second to rest. I’ll get to it in a little bit.”

wife: “Oh, if you have some extra time and want to relax, I’m just about to sit down and watch Wizard of Paws. You’re free to join me.”

me: (Getting up and sprinting toward the garage to get the tools I need to fix the damn fence thinking “Anything with the title Wizard of Paws is sure to do irreparable brain damage”) “Never mind, honey, I will get right on that fence mending…”

Sent in by kristin who should be forced to watch every episode multiple times as punishment for introducing my wife to these videos’ existence and for ever thinking that sending them to me could result in anything but extreme distress…

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Hello Kitty Online Theme Song

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:51:59 +0000

If there is one thing that the human race absolutely does not need, it is a new Hello Kitty theme song. The fact that the original Hello Kitty theme song is so hideous that it is used by terrorist organizations to break the will of all enemies within minutes goes without saying. This would lead one to assume that if the evil feline did come up with another theme song, it would have to be better. Of course your would be wrong (seriously, just walk away and don’t click — you’ll never know how much you should thank me, but you will retain your sanity):

I could give you 1000 reasons why I will never play Hello Kitty online, but now I don’t have to because the above video does it all for me. For anyone that thinks their life sucks at this moment, just imagine having to listen to the above song intermixed with this (welcome to my Hello Kitty Hell…):

See, life never looked so good, did it?

Sent in by Kelly who should have to listen to these songs 24/7 for the rest of the year as punishment for making them the default theme songs in our house. May your ears feel the pain that mine do…

Hello Kitty Mano Erina

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:32:03 +0000

If you want to thoroughly traumatize your ears and eyes, while at the same time wasting two minutes of your life, all you have to do is listen to the high pitch, diabetes inducing noise of Mano Erina’s song Love & Peace = Paradise (Hello Kitty version of course). Having people scratch their fingernails on chalkboards would be less painful and much more appealing to the ears. You have been warned:

Sent in by Lillian

Hello Kitty Airplane

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:32:02 +0000

The nightmare for anyone who travels is to somehow find themselves stuck at a Hello Kitty airport getting ready to board a Hello Kitty airplane. For those who live in Hello Kitty Hell and have managed to avoid this fate, the people at Eva Air felt (for some unfathomable reason) that people would like to see in detail how they went about and destroyed one of the planes in their fleet:

Sent in by Karin

Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:27:12 +0000

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio-controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down a flight of stairs and give a satisfying end to the video — no such luck…

Sent in by radioman