Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty Video

Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck

Hello Kitty Hell — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:27:12 +0000

I’m not sure what is more disturbing — the fact that they actually make a Hello Kitty radio-controlled truck or the amount of fun that the person seems to be having using it. I kept hoping against hope that someone would walk by and step on the damn thing or that it would fall down a flight of stairs and give a satisfying end to the video — no such luck…

Sent in by radioman

Hello Kitty Latex Fashion Show

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:01:08 +0000

I knew that I would regret posting the Hello Kitty handbag fashion show video. As soon as the video was posted, other Hello Kitty fashion show videos started appearing in my email box (to my disgust, but to the delight of my wife). Among these was a Hello Kitty latex fashion show (possibly nsfw)…

As much as Hello Kitty claims that she isn’t about sex, the evidence (the thinly disguised Hello Kitty vibrator, the recent MAC make-up promotions and the Hello Kitty bondage hotel to name just a few examples) points to the contrary and it’s pretty obvious that if the evil feline thinks that it will sell, she is all for it. That, in turn, means that I have a lot more Hello Kitty Hell to look forward to…

Sent in by yelpkh who should have to watch this video over and over as punishment for ever thinking that sending it to me would be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Handbag Fashion Show

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:50:56 +0000

I have no doubt that having to sit through a Hello Kitty fashion show would constitute torture to any civilized nation and most people would consider the death penalty appropriate for anyone that actually put one on (miraculously, this is one experience I have yet to endure although my wife still has it on the top of her list of things to do). The fact that they now have fashion shows exclusively for Hello Kitty handbags pretty much shows that the world is in far worse dire straights than anyone imagined:

While I am ready to tear out my eyes before the first minute of the video has finished, my wife can watch any Hello Kitty fashion video 100 times and still find it interesting the 101st. The fact that I can’t tell the subtleties of shade of color or type of Hello Kitty face that adorns the handbags only frustrates my wife as she tries to explain and I stand there like a brick wall unable to absorb any of it (not that I would ever care to absorb it). Apparently I fail to understand how a handbag can make an outfit which will certainly lead to more Hello Kitty Hell in my life…

Sent in by patricia who should have to watch this video time and again with my wife instead of me as punishment for ever thinking it would ever be a good idea to send it to me…

Hello Kitty Detox Cute and the Beauty Junkies Song

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:01:08 +0000

You have to question the sanity of any band that would think it’s a good idea to create a song about Hello Kitty. The fact that the band actually thought it would be a good idea pretty much indicates how it is going to be (for those that are unable to understand hint, that was a warning that you really don’t want to listen to this song if you want to keep your sanity):

You were warned…

Sent in by gina

Hello Kitty 35 Anniversary Video Hell

Hello Kitty Hell — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 07:01:47 +0000

To celebrate her 35th birthday, the people at Sanrio decided to put together the ultimate 2 and a half minute torture video which will surely be used on terrorist until the UN intercedes and declares it inhumane. Unfortunately, they didn’t intercede quickly enough to save me (or you if you are insane enough to watch it):

Of course, my wife loves this historical perspective (the Hello Kitty toilet paper in our house is arranged by design year) and continues to play this video over and over again while continually asking me to come over and watch as she comments on all the different designs.

All I can say is that I have a new found hatred of dolphins — if that damn 1978 dolphin had not appeared to catch Hello Kitty as she fell from the plane (I actually had high hopes for a second that Hello Kitty wouldn’t make it) and let the evil feline drop into the sea to drown, life would be a lot better in our household. Instead, I get to hear minute details about the history of Hello Kitty design changes which most definitely is Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by nervo who should have to watch this video 24/7 for the rest of the year as punishment to introducing my wife to it and making my life that much more Hello Kitty hellish…

Hello Kitty History Video

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 07:01:56 +0000

Hello Kitty, as has been well established, is disturbing just being herself. It gets more disturbing when people feel it necessary to write books about her. Then it gets even worse when people get a huge crowd to listen to a lecture about a book about Hello Kitty. Basically, it’s everything that you never wanted to know about the evil feline — don’t bother watching because it’s 30 minutes of your life you can never get back:

I warned you. I basically wanted to slice my head open — and pour my brains out as well — after wasting a half hour of my life watching that, but then again, that’s a far too common feeling when you live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by Danny who should have to spend several hours a day listening to Hello Kitty lectures as punishment for ever thinking that sending this video to me could ever produce something positive…

Hello Kitty Weekly Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 07:01:40 +0000

Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump of photos sent in that didn’t make the front page of this blog:

Hello Kitty Uterus Plush
Hello Kitty Guitar Meow!
Hello Kitty Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
Hello Kitty Cat Litter
Hello Kitty Asics Shoes
Hello Kitty MP3 Player

And a few photo post updates:

Hello Kitty Darth Vader
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker
Hello Kitty Computer Keyboard
Hello Kitty Stormtrooper Tattoo

Hello Kitty MAC Make-Up Video

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:50:39 +0000

I really didn’t think that there would be anything more disturbing about the Hello Kitty MAC cosmetic line than the line itself, but that once again shows that I haven’t learned that the evil feline can always make things worse. If you have any doubt, take a look at this video (be warned, once you’ve seen it you can’t erase it from your brain):

While there are far too many things that are truly disturbing about the video than I care to write about here, I guess the biggest question is why didn’t they simply film the entire video in the Hello Kitty S & M Love Hotel Room since that is definitely the proper place for those Hello Kitty guys.

Of course, my wife found the entire video “sexy and fun” — words that actually scared me more than watching the video because I could see a glint in her eye as she tries to figure out how to get me to wear one of those Hello Kitty costumes in the video. See, things can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in and left in comments by far too many people that seriously want me to have nightmares for the rest of my life. May you all get trapped in the video for even thinking for an instance that making me aware of its existence could ever be a good idea…

Hello Kitty Nun Music Video

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 13:13:33 +0000

For those of you who remember the Hello Kitty nun (yeah, I know you really didn’t need to be reminded about that, especially if you had somehow managed to get that image out of your mind, but it gives you a tiny sample of what it’s like to live in Hello Kitty Hell) and imagined it would stop there, oh how you underestimate the evil feline. Now the Hello Kitty nun is featured in a music video:

Yep, seeing things like this not only ensure that I’ll have nightmares for far too long, it’s a sure sign that the world is quickly coming to an end (or even worse, truly is being taken over by Hello Kitty)…

Left by perruchin in the comments who should have to watch this video at least 100 times a day as punishment for basically ensuring that every visitor to this blog isn’t going to be able to sleep for the next month…

Creepy Hello Kitty Lisa Loeb Video

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 07:51:02 +0000

I guess it could have gone without saying since anything that involves Hello Kitty is “creepy” to some extent, but it seems to take on horror film dimensions when a Hello Kitty plush comes to life in the back of a music video. I just sat there watching — waiting for Hello Kitty to produce Alien fangs and suck the life out of Lisa Loeb. Either that or have Hello Kitty begin whacking Lisa Loeb over the head with the guitar until she was slumped in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor. The more I live in Hello Kitty Hell, the more convinced I become that Hello Kitty could be a huge horror movie franchise. Doubt me? Watch the video:

The only thing that surprises me is that both Lisa Loeb and Hello Kitty aren’t using Hello Kitty acoustic guitars in the video to promote themselves even more, but that in no way takes away from the creepiness of having Hello Kitty pretending to sing over your shoulder. It would have simply been the icing on the cake.

Of course, my wife thinks that it is wonderful and that Hello Kitty should sing with all famous musicians (you laugh, but don’t underestimate the evil feline). I suppose this would be every Hello Kitty fanatic’s fantasy – to have Hello Kitty magically come to life, but when you really know what Hello Kitty is like, this may not be such a good thing.

Sent in by Sandra who should be forced to watch only the Hello Kitty portions of this video over and over and over again as punishment for ever thinking that sending me this video could result in anything positive…