Hello Kitty Hell » Hello Kitty

Hello Kitty Photo Dump Posts

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:52:41 +0000

It’s that time of the week again where you have the choice to go outside, enjoy the day and keep your sanity, or go through all the posts that didn’t make the front page of this blog. I highly recommend the first option, but for those of you who are into self torture, there is plenty to make you have nightmares:

Hello Kitty Toilet (update)
Hello Kitty Sex Slave (update)
Hello Kitty Sandwich Bag Mod
Hello Kitty Gumball Machine
Hello Kitty Religious Cross (update)
Hello Kitty Credit Card (update)
Hello Kitty Smart Car (update)
Hello Kitty Canopy
Hello Kitty Debit Card (update)
Hello Kitty Paintball Gun
Hello Kitty Halloween Costumes (w/ updates)
Hello Kitty Smashing Pumpkins
Hello Kitty Pinhead Tattoo

Free Hello Kitty Shoulder Massager

Hello Kitty Hell — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:33:01 +0000

OK, I’m feeling a little less uneasy about the creepy stalker package for my wife that my parents received after the person that sent the package emailed me and said she wasn’t trying to be stalker-like at all. Apparently she was simply getting ready to move and felt inspired to rid herself of much of her Hello Kitty collection due to this blog (of course, it would have been much more inspirational if she had decided to try and give it away to someone other than my wife, or better yet, set it all on fire and sent me the video).

All the stuff she sent is new and in its original packaging (which will be important to know for this next giveaway, and if for some reason it isn’t important to you, that’s kinda creepy in itself). Her explanation on how she found the address was pretty innocent and simple, although I will refrain from explaining it here since I’d rather not have the whole Hello Kitty package thing for my wife happen again.

Included in the package was a black Hello Kitty shoulder massager:

(yes, I realise that is not how most people refer to it as, but since I really don’t feel like having to explain the alternative use to my parents, humor me and let’s just stick with what Sanrio claims it was produced to be used for). What I absolutely do know is that if I have to sleep on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, Hello Kitty should not be taking over my duties (the entire set of rainbow color ones my wife currently has are for her collection and therefore aren’t used — and while I don’t think she would turn to the evil feline when I’ve been out-casted to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag, there is no reason to take any chances), so this needs to be given away asap.

If you are interested in the black should massager, simply become a friend of Hello Kitty Hell on facebook and leave a comment on the “free Hello Kitty shoulder massager” post on the wall there. One entry per person, so please don’t leave multiple comments.

I will have a random number generated for the comments left on the facebook post and whichever person’s comment matches the number, I will have my parents send the Hello Kitty shoulder massager. While I hope that it goes to someone that dislikes the evil feline and that person takes the time to record its demise, the number one priority is that it does not end up in my wife’s collection. Just to make things clear, if you decide not to destroy it, I have absolutely no interest hearing about any uses you find for it.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Friday November 6th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world except at my address in Japan.

The contest is now officially over there were 241 entries in the contest:

The random number resulted with Rebecca being the winner. No matter what she decides to do with it, I’m just happy it won’t be added to my wife’s collection…

Free Hello Kitty Toaster

Hello Kitty Hell — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:01:32 +0000

Hello Kitty Hell took a major step down into the depths this past week which I never anticipated. I received a email from my parents in the US saying that a packaged addressed to a “Mrs. Hello Kitty Hell” arrived at their house and they wanted to know if I had any idea what it was about (they had no idea that I even wrote this blog). I instantly knew that whatever was going on, it was not going to be good.

After a few emails back and forth and having my parents open up the package, it was determined that some unknown person (the note inside only said “Some gifts for you” and was not signed by anyone) had sent my wife a rather large package of Hello Kitty crap, but had made the mistake of thinking that my parent’s US address was our address. This makes me want to ask a couple of questions to the sender:

1. If you have been reading this blog, what on earth makes you think that my wife needs any more Hello Kitty crap?

2. Isn’t it just a bit creepy and stalker-like that you decided to try and track down my address instead of just asking? (although had you asked, I would have refused to give it out)

Since there is absolutely no way I am going to let any of this stuff end up in my wife’s already far too large Hello Kitty collection, it’s your lucky day. I’m simply going to give away everything in the package before my wife gets a chance to lay claim to it. While I’m still trying to figure out exactly all of what was in the package (my parents have no idea what some of the stuff is since some of it has foreign writing on it, but they should be sending me photos shortly), there is no doubt that a Hello Kitty toaster was part of the package. I think it is best to get rid of it as quickly as possible.

If you would like to enter the contest for the free Hello Kitty toaster, simply leave a comment below. One entry per person, so please don’t leave multiple comments.

I will have a random number generated for the comments and whichever person’s comment matches the number, I will have my parents send the Hello Kitty toaster to them. I will put up the rest of the Hello Kitty crap from the box once I get photos and know what it is that needs to be given away. While I truly hope that someone that dislikes the evil feline wins and then takes the time to show how they destroy the Hello Kitty toaster, even if it goes to a fanatic it is better than it landing back at my house and in my wife’s collection…

The contest starts now and will end at 3:00 pm eastern (2:00 central, 1:00 mountain and 12:00 pacific) on Wednesday November 4th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world except anyone living at my address in Japan

Update: The contest has ended and we have a winner:

#20 on the list is Lauren who I shall be emailing shortly. Congrats and I’m happy it will be going to your house instead of mine!

Hello Kitty Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:12:15 +0000

It’s that time of the week again when those posts that that didn’t make the front page are listed for self induced torture for those who decide for some unfathomable reason that you must go and visit them (It must be car wreck syndrome — you know you shouldn’t look, but you have to anyway…). The scariest part is that it seems no matter how many of these I list, more still arrive – a constant Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Nails (update)
Hello Kitty .45 Caliber Handgun
Hello Kitty Radio Controlled Truck
Hello Kitty and Disco Stormtrooper Costumes
Hello Kitty Box Cutter
Hello Kitty Swine Flu Mask
Hello Kitty eMac
Hello Kitty Jack-o-Lantern (update)
Hello Kitty Bloodfest
Hello Kitty Darth Vader Halloween Costume
Hello Kitty Halloween Tattoo
Hello Kitty Three Apples Fashion
Hello Kitty Headband Bow (update)
Hello Kitty Roller Coaster

Hello Kitty Weekly Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 17:14:49 +0000

For those of you that enjoy torturing yourself to no end, here are the photos from the last week that didn’t make the front page of the blog, but still will send shivers down your spine (just don’t do it – you’ll be much happier if you avoid these links and go for a long walk – you have been warned…)

Hello Kitty Porn Star Tera Patrick (sfw)
Hello Kitty Farmville
Hello Kitty Tattoo Promo
Hello Kitty Sushi Plush
Hello Kitty Gangster Car
Hello Kitty Telephone Booth
Hello Kitty Nori Cutter
Hello Kitty Skis (update)

See, I told you…

Hello Kitty Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:08:40 +0000

For those that want to torture themselves more, some of the photos that have been added this past week that didn’t make the front page:

Hello Kitty M4A1 Gun
Hello Kitty Headband Bow
Hello Kitty Bra and Panties
Hello Kitty Samsung Media Player
Hello Kitty Smurfs
Hello Kitty Wii
Hello Kitty Bathroom Mirror
Hello Kitty Hilary Duff Skateboard

And the following posts were updated with new photos:

Hello Kitty Three Apples Art

Hello Kitty Hell Lecture and Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 18:45:52 +0000

I just received an email from someone that wanted to know if I wanted to give a lecture about Hello Kitty. I’m not sure if I should feel honored by the request or devasted that Hello Kitty Hell has reached such depths…

This past week’s Hello Kitty photo dump before I start crying:

Hello Kitty Digital Scale
Hello Kitty Diamond Sapphire Doll – $150k
Hello Kitty Eye Mask
Hello Kitty MAC Cosmetic Signage
Hello Kitty Pick-Up Truck
Hello Kitty Guitar Hero Wii Guitar Mod
Hello Kitty Louis Vuitton Bong
Hello Kitty “I Kill Suckers” Tattoo
Hello Kitty Longboard Surfboard

Hello Kitty Anthropology & Weekend Photo Dump

Hello Kitty Hell — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 07:01:45 +0000

My wife now wants to become an Anthropologist. What would cause my wife to all of a sudden want to be an Anthropologist? Well, it seems that if you are one Christine R. Yano and an Anthropology professor at the University of Hawaii, you can get paid to write research papers such as Wink on Pink: Interpreting Japanese Cute as It Grabs the Global Headlines which is all about Hello Kitty. The fact that Cambridge University Press would be willing to publish anything related to the evil feline and give her any academic credence at all goes to show how fast the world is spinning out of control.

And for those who can still keep their food down after reading that, here is the past week’s hello Kitty photo dump which will surely leave your stomach feeling a little lighter:

Hello Kitty Panty Liners
Hello Kitty Wall Display
Hello Kitty Push-Up Bras
Hello Kitty Carabiner
Hello Kitty Appliances
Hello Kitty Birthday Balloon
Hello Kitty Kellogg’s Loops
Hello Kitty Rice Krispies Treats
Hello Kitty Pink Laptop
Hello Kitty Reebok Shoes
Hello Kitty Shopping
Hello Kitty Vodka

Anthropology article link sent in by tsnere

Hello Kitty Fanatic Experiment

Hello Kitty Hell — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 07:01:25 +0000

It’s always an adventure (to put it diplomatically) when walking with a Hello Kitty fanatic. Usually they look at my wife, then look at me bravely smiling and give that sympathetic look — tears beginning to well up in their eyes at the pure injustice of it all — which is reserved for the truly unfortunate beings of the world; small kids starving in Africa and me.

Then there are the times when I am forced out on my own with some Hello Kitty item in hand and have to face the unapproving wrath reserved for serial killers and terrorists on the nation’s most wanted list.

So when Not That Kind of Girl decided to parade around as a Hello Kitty fanatic as an experiment, I instantly felt sympathy for her.

True Hello Kitty fanatics have the unique ability to deflect all of the looks of terror of those around them and magnify them onto the non fanatic in the area. This was what she was in for, so I wasn’t at all surprised by her findings:

It’s hard to say which is worse: that the cashier so coldly cut off my life philosophy, or that I was actually starting to believe my own chirpy pro-Kitty blathering. Continuing the walk, I paused with a grin of delight to babytalk an approaching bulldog (standard practice! I’ve never been rebuffed!), and the young owner physically placed his hand between me and the dog and scooted the thirty-pound animal in a wide berth of me on the sidewalk. Jesus. Did I accidentally put on a KKK hood this morning?

Then again, a KKK hood might have been helpful. At least it would have covered the damn (Hello Kitty) barrettes.

Two blocks away from my sister’s place, my get-up finally attracted its first fan. I stood at a corner waiting for a light to change; six or seven feet away, a barefoot (presumably homeless) man, carrying a defunct ghettoblaster and begging for change, gnashed his arms at passers-by and growling obscenities. Equidistant between the two of us stood a prim young-ish mother escorting her five-year-old home from Hebrew school, and waiting on the same light. “Look!” cooed the child, stretching up toward my necklace. Her mom looked me up and down. And up again. Then scooted her daughter three steps closer to Obscene Beggar…

Welcome to the daily life of someone living in Hello Kitty Hell…

Hello Kitty Twitter, Hello Kitty Facebook and Hello Kitty Photos

Hello Kitty Hell — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 07:17:47 +0000

It’s truly beyond me why people that read this blog want me to also post on twitter and facebook since the regular blog posts should be enough to make any normal person go insane, but it’s a request that I get way too often. For your own mental health, I strongly encourage you not to sign up for either, but to keep my email clear of the whining requests, I have gone ahead and done it. If you dare to expose yourself to more torture from the evil feline than any person should endure, you can follow Hello Kitty Hell on twitter and Become a fan of Hello Kitty Hell on facebook.

In addition, I have started a Hello Kitty photo section so that 1) I don’t have to receive the same photos again and again and 2) Hello Kitty whiners will stop emailing me the same photos yet again (after sending them again and again) asking me why I don’t place the photos that they send again and again to me up. This section will be the photo dump area where you should only venture when you feel the need to inflict vast amounts of pain on yourself. For example, this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump includes:

Hello Kitty High Heel Shoe Phone
Hello Kitty Smart Car
Hello Kitty Belly Dancer
Hello Kitty Pregnant Cake
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker Toaster Oven

Welcome to a glimpse of my Hello Kitty Hell…