HKH FAQs

It is a sad day in Hello Kitty Hell when I actually have to create a frequently asked questions area due to all the crap that ends up in my email from Hello Kitty fanatics asking the same questions over and over again.

If you hate Hello Kitty so much, why did you marry someone that you knew loved Hello Kitty?

I didn’t.

I think that this whole blog is fake.

I really don’t care.

Prove that this blog isn’t fake.

Done.

You could have gotten those photos of the bathroom anywhere. You probably got them from another website.

I could have, but I didn’t. If you think I did, show me the website.

I’m fascinated by those bathroom pictures. Can you take some more?

I can, but I won’t. Not worth the time or effort.

Your refusal to take more photos of the bathroom to prove that it is really yours proves that it isn’t. Caught in your own lie. hahaha

Thank you for perfectly illustrating the true deductive reasoning of Hello Kitty fanatics…

Is Darlene your wife?

No.

who is darlene?

Obviously someone new to this blog. Browse and read the comments. It won’t take you long to find out.

How do you feel when darlene attacks your masculinity and puts all this ridiculous stuff into your blog even when your only trying to vent?

I feel fortunate as I realize that no matter how bad my Hello Kitty Hell is, it could be worse.

Does your wife read this blog?

Rarely. When she does, I usually end up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.

Is this blog just a way of venting, or are you hoping to achieve something else with it?

Venting.

Do you remember the thing your wife bought that finally set you off the deep end?

Hello Kitty pancake maker.

Did you Get Rid of 200 the Hello Kitty Items? When we can see the pics?

Yes.

Do you fit in the HK sleeping bag? Is not so small for you?

No. I unzip it so it’s more like a blanket most of the time.

What’s the weirdest HK thing (not necessarily something you’ve posted on this blog) that your wife has bought that she has absolutely no use for?

That pretty much sums up everything Hello Kitty

Can say one good thing about Hello Kitty?

My image of Hello Kitty, no matter how terrible, is better today than it will undoubtedly be tomorrow.

Why don’t you allow your wife to post somewhere to tell her side of the story?

Because it’s not her blog?

Why don’t you take original photos for you blogs so that we know that your blogs are real?

Because it’s not worth the time or effort

Don’t you think you are immature to insult the people who send photos that help make your site interesting?

No.

What would you do if they stopped sending you photos and you had nothing to blog about?

Celebrate?

Why do you lie about Hello Kitty so much?

Apparently, I see the world a bit differently than you…

Don’t you think it’s disrespectful to your wife to constantly put down something she loves?

No, it’s honest.

Why are you so insecure of your masculinity to not be able to wear anything Hello Kitty?

See, I knew I would regret this…

How often does it occur to you that you’re promoting Hello Kitty by keeping this blog? (-:

It doesn’t. Then again, I don’t think like a Hello Kitty fanatic…

What do your friends think of your wife’s Hello Kitty obsession?

They think “Wow, my life could be a whole lot worse. Thank your wife for making me realize this.”

Can you tell us how you and your wife met?

My private life, with the exception of instances that relate to Hello Kitty and therefore this blog, is exactly that.

Can you list any redeeming qualities that your wife has?

See above. If it doesn’t have to do with Hello Kitty and my rants, it doesn’t go up on this blog.

You are the biggest pussy whipped guy I have ever seen. Why don’t you grow some balls and just divorce your wife?

And you, dear reader, are an ignorant idiot. You read about a tiny slice of my life and decide that from that you have the right to tell me how to live it and what I should do? Quite frankly, it’s none of your damn business, but when you agree to tell me about one part of your life and from that, I get to determine what you should do in every other aspect your life, then I’ll gladly answer this question for you.

Are there Hello Kitty products that are not worth the time to blog about?

I blog about less than 10% of the Hello Kitty products that end at my house or in my email box.

What has this site done for you?

It’s a blog where I rant about Hello Kitty. Nothing more, nothing less.

What are you accomplishing by ranting?

I keep my sanity. Obviously, many people take this blog much more seriously than I do…

If you hate Hello Kitty so much, why do you spend so much time blogging about her?

I spend very little time on this blog.

If you’re so anti Hello Kitty, then why do you have advertisements on your website selling Hello Kitty stuff? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical?

Because Hello Kitty fanatics don’t know how to use Google and it helps keep their whining requests out of my email box.

Did you ever think that your blog could reach so many people of so many parts of the world and so many different interests?

It has revealed that there are far too many Hello Kitty fanatics in the world.

How long have you been living in Hello Kitty Hell?

A couple years longer than this blog has existed.

Are there any items left in your house that haven’t been kittified yet?

Yes, but my wife is dutifully working on it.

How do you keep your home clean if you have so much HK stuff?

Lots of Hello Kitty cleaning supplies…

How did you avoid getting signed up for the Hello Kitty online beta?

Even my wife realises that there is no freakin way I’ll spend my free time on a Hello Kitty online game.

Do you ever want to just put a bullet in your head from all the dumb questions and dumber HK items that are made?

Everyday, but then I remember I’ll likely be buried under a Hello Kitty tombstone and I resist.

Is there any HK thing on earth that you may possibly like? I mean those really produced by Sanrio.

No.

Does your wife have a blog?

No, thank god…

How much do you think your wife spends on hello kitty every year?

I don’t think as this would undoubtedly send me someplace where they have Hello Kitty straight jackets…

Can we see a picture of the happy couple?

No — I’d rather my face not be associated with Hello Kitty in any way…

176 thoughts on “HKH FAQs

  1. “Hello Kitty is Bigger than Jesus!” – J.Lennon

    As you know from Chairman Meow, being in league with Hello Kitty, together will take over the world…

    ~ Obey the Kittty ~

  2. dude, I feel very very sorry for you reading just one blog entry. I hope that when you are buried under a hello kitty tombstone in a hello kitty casket, that hello kitty will not be where ever you end up.

  3. I feel for you, BROTHER!! Thankfully my wife doesn’t like anything to do with felines … :-)

    BUT, when I laughingly mentioned your Blog to her, she mentioned she did like canines …

    Thank God, they don’t have a “Hello Doggy”!!!!

    THE HORROR … THE HORROR ;-P

  4. I like Hello Kitty, but I just had to say I find this site absolutely hilarious! 😀

    I used to watch the cartoons; years later I’m surprised to find Da Kitty conquering the western world as a brand name. I’d sum up my liking as, I like to visit, but I don’t think I’d like to live there. The new wave of rabid kitty-fans is scary!
    On the plus side, does that make it easier to shop for the kitty-enamoured other? Good luck dude and keep being a voice of sanity in this Kitty-infested world! :)

  5. This is the funniest website I’ve come across in ages! Although I’m a big cat lover, IMHO, Hello Kitty is indescribably naff. I do like the chainsaw and AK 47, mind, and if they really did exist, I’d be tempted! Stay strong, Webmaster, you have my sympathy!

  6. Well, I like Hello Kitty, but I find your hate for her very enjoyable 😀 You seem to have a twisted sarcastic soul that I like, or apparently not sarcastic at all. Oh well :)

  7. even though yu hate HK im glad yu still made this blog kause now ii kan kome on here && look at new stuff EVERYDAY lol ima 20 year old kollege student who’s room looks like it belongs to a 3 year old && thanks to yu ii kno ii kan make mii whole house HK :) anyway love the bathroom keep up the good work with the site!!

  8. Reaction-formatioooon.

    Even so, it’s pretty disrespectful of your wife to not reign it in at least a little. Compromise is always good! Still… I strongly suspect a reaction-formation here. It’s classic!

  9. How do you keep your home clean if you have so much HK stuff?

    Lots of Hello Kitty cleaning supplies

    HAHA fav of the hole FAQ , I like hello kitty but this blog is to funny :)

  10. somehow I doubt anyone other than you purchases anything hello kitty in your household. which probably consists of just you.

  11. Thank you so much for this fabulous and fun blog.
    It’s always a pleasure to read your entries.

    Carry on the good work, you’re a survivor !!

  12. Damn, people are getting so worked up over a simple blog. People really need a better sense of humor. I believe it’s cool that you have this site even if you don’t like it at all. You can’t really hate something unless you fully understand it and this is a perfect example of that.

    I’m a big Hello Kitty fan and I think this site is awesome. Keep up the venting hahaha 😀

  13. Ok–THANK YOU for making people realise not to sweat the small stuff’cause it’s All small stuff!! The Hello Kitty Douch made me laugh so hard I almost puked–Ignore the jerks that try to poop on your private life- let them take a tour thru hello kitty hell—ROCK ON !!!!!

  14. you really made my day!!! i havent laughed so hard in forever!! i enjoy your rants and I am a Hello Kitty Fan. Just keep doing what your doing it works for you and for the rest of us with a sense of humor! Im pretty sure your happily married, sans HK..but people will be assholes, enjoy life!! & God bless you, thanks for making my day, your HILARIOUS!

  15. I applaud your love for your woman. My husband endures similar “torture”. Not Full Blown HK adoration but a constant and enduring attraction for this infantile manifestation of some part of my brain that won’t/can’t grow up. I admire the men who love us despite this minor disability. HK is an ideal, just like Giselle or the Victoria’s Secret models. She cannot be fully verbalised, but she cannot and must not be ignored. BTW: Tigers are just fully-grown hunting versions of HK. She’s just a baby.

  16. why do you take up so much time to make a blog about something that you hate so much? i think your fake and your just helping promote hello kitty because all over your page i can click on advertisements to buy hello kitty merchandise. you would make a lot more money supporting hello kitty instead of insulting something that i know bring a lot of happiness to people. you a douche-bag!

  17. I visited your site a few years back, and now returning and reading all your HKH FAQ’s. I almost died laughing. My favorite, “Rarely. When she does, I usually end up on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.” LOL. I cant believe the crap these girls are writing/asking you. People need to calm the F down and take it so personal. I’ve been addicted to HK since preschool – I will never grow out of it. Your wife is one cool chick. It’s cuz of her we have Hello Kitty Hell :)

  18. Once upon a time, I saw a Hello Kitty kiosk in the mall and remembered my childhood, so I decided to have a 28yo 1/3 life crisis and buy some earrings and a hair clip but then I found some hot huge pearl earrings with diamonds around them and kicked kitty to the curb.

  19. I just found your blog via cakewrecks, and I think it’s great. It seems I’ve been reading several blogs that turn disaster into comedy gold. Cakewrecks and ReasoningwithVampires (which criticizes the grammar of Twilight) are both great sources of hilarious sarcasm/snark. Now I can add your blog to my list.

    I’m not a fan of Hello Kitty, but this blog and the ads on the sides give me ideas for friends/relatives that are.

    Anyway, nice blog, keep it up.

  20. I love HK but only moderately so, I think. I LOVE your blog, and have a hard time believing that there are people who seriously resent your venting. They need to get lives. They need to realize that there is such a thing as taking HK too far. HK here and there is cute. Having 50 kitties in various shapes and sizes staring at you when you walk into a room is just a bit much. Anyway, love your blog, keep the rants coming! 😛

  21. I’ve honestly NEVER liked hello kitty in my life and NEVER thought she was cute. Monokuro Boo is much cuter than hello kitty and still I wouldn’t ransack my house with monokuro boo products (video game posters are another story… ZELDA).
    It must be horrible living with sooooooooooooo many hello kitties everywhere, i would feel so suffocated.
    And to the crazy hello kitty fanatics, Hello Kitty is just a product, TRY to be a little sane and don’t tell everyone who doesn’t agree with your views that they’re a horrible person and should die. In my opinion, that makes YOU the horrible person. Judgmental idiots.

  22. I’m not even a Hello Kitty lover, but its a good blog to read =) Even my hubby enjoys it while sunbaking with his Ipad and 2 kids <3

  23. I’m a huuuge hk fanatic, but I totally feel your pain! It’s hard to know when to stop though. Do you need a hello kitty bathtub, really? The answer is no, but she’s so cute! It’s just so hard sometimes, you know…seriously, though, my boyfriend collects comics and any comic related thing, just like a hk fanatic, and I collect hk stuff, and needless to say, our house is ridiculously cluttered in figures and unopened boxes and shelves upon shelves of random green lantern stuff, mighty mugs, comic boxes, and hello kitty things. I totally know what you’re going through, though you’re situation isn’t by choice. Maybe you can convince her to get a storage unit or one of those pods things, lol. Good luck in the future!

  24. Thanks for the laughs….I have a great love for the sweet little feline and understand your dismay. She is sweet beyond anyone’s imagination. You reminded me of something that I read awhile ago “Hello Kitty has no mouth”, that website was entertaining too. Wish you much luck and keep the venting down to a low roar. besos mon ami!!

  25. I will admit that I like Hello Kitty.. But not enough to even remotely consider buying ANYTHING Hello Kitty.

    I feel your pain. Stay strong in that horribly girlish hell she calls a dream world. If I had that life I certainly would have taken a Hello Kitty rifle to my head by now. (making sure of course my body could not be found to avoid a Hello Kitty funeral complete with a Hello Kitty casket and tombstone) And to think finding a site like this was my intention after finding out they have “Hello Kitty personal massagers”.

    You are my hero.

  26. I have a question for you :)
    You’ve showed us what the “New Hello Kitty sleeping bag” that you have to sleep in was. What did the old one look like?

  27. Oh! And another question!:
    You said your wifes obsession with Hello Kitty originally came from you suggesting that she use the hobby to bring in extra cash. How much of the HK items brought into your house actually get sold?

  28. I fully understand an adult females obsession with HK. I Love her too. That being said both my husband & I like to come to your site to keep it all in perspective. HKH is a site I love to share. Thanks!

  29. How about we talk about how rich this guy probably is see all the hello Kitty advertising on the side its called $$$$$$
    I dont love or hate kitty but i can say you are pathatic to create this site. Freedom of speech to each his own continue to pay off your house.

  30. I love your website and you should be happy to hear I used to like Hello Kitty a lot more until I read your blog and I realized… letting it control your life is kinda insane. I love HK but not like that and if I ever get like that you have full permission to take out the Hello Kitty shot gun.

  31. You know… I love Hello Kitty as much as the next chick, and I even more love torturing my fiance with drooling every time we walk through a store and I see something HK, but even ME, I would NOT want to live in your house O_O I’m amazed it’s not a Hello Kitty house like the ones on google (better not show her this comment XD Lol) The most I want, HK gun, toaster, moar blankets! (really, they’re effin comfy ^_^ so is the deathnote one though…) and now, the toilet paper. Because everyone will just go WTF JENN?!?!?! XD possibly a FEW other randoms, mostly weapons cause that’s just an insult to injury 😉 as for your blog n whatnots, freaking great. Whether you love or hate HK, this is the website to be for… well, yeah, EVERYTHING hello kitty. Lol

  32. well…your right, it could be worse bro….she could be making you wear hello kitty underwear

    …sorry if thats true tho, ill buy you a beer if there’s ever a random ass chance in hell( not the hello kitty one that is) that i cross paths with you…which i doubt

    well…at least your happy with your marriage, thats what truly matters

  33. Thank you.
    In your hatred of Hello Kitty you oddly decided to use up your time to post pictures and what not. In that you have truly pleased all Hello Kitty lovers out there (including me) as we now have all the Hello Kitty images and products in one place.
    Well done.
    Enjoy your day.
    P.S. Thank you

Leave a Comment

57 − 53 =