Hello Kitty Hell

I received an email asking me what Hello Kitty item I thought would be safe for a reader to give to his Hello Kitty fanatic girlfriend. The simple answer is that nothing is safe because once you begin buying anything with the evil feline on it, you have unknowingly signed a contract that you are [...]

You would think that one Hello Kitty computer would be able to satisfy the Hello Kitty masses, but that seems to be far from reality. There are far too many Hello Kitty computers in existence to feel positive about the future of the world we live in (from special occasion Hello Kitty computers to Hello [...]

I received the following question in my email the other day: What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there? “Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics [...]

The end of the year and the coming of November 1 (the evil feline’s birthday) always makes Hello Kitty Hell that more hellish with all the “anniversary” products shilled to fanatics. The Epson 35th Anniversary laptop computer is a perfect example of why everyone should hate November 1: Sent in by feliciasdream

It’s another sad day in Hello Kitty Hell when I have to create a photo page dedicated to the evil feline, but it seems that I will have a never ending stream of the same photos coming to me if I don’t do something about it. I get sent a lot of photos that never [...]

It’s not enough that Hello Kitty comes out with a new Hello Kittified computer every few months and more Hello Kitty computer accessories than is healthy for anyone that can still refer to themselves sane to have, but of course that is not enough for the true Hello Kitty fanatics. They have to go out [...]

You knew that this day would come. Not only does Hello Kitty want to sell you computers (such as this, this and this) in her evil feline image, she now also wants to protect your computer from the inside as well with her new Hello Kitty antivirus and firewall software (while it is currently only [...]

I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise since we all know that Hello Kitty will do anything to make a buck, but the evil feline has decided to turn computer laptops into a fashion statement and roll out new themes every 6 months. The process has been building over the years. At one point, [...]

Today, two confounded IT technicians wandered into my office and handed me a drawer from the new rack that they were installing. Printed on the circuit board was…. I cringed with despair when people started to make Hello Kitty computer mods. This sickness only increased as manufacturers began rolling out mass produced Hello Kitty laptops [...]

I’ve started to get quite a bit of random email recently, so I’ve decided to start a new theme called “Sunday Mail” where I will be posting what I receive during the week for all your reading pleasure: I love HK (but most of her stuff is ridiculous!!!) and I’m sorry what your wife is [...]

Since it is the holiday season, Hello Kitty would never be satisfied with reintroducing a new Hello Kitty laptop look and adding a Hello Kitty mouse. She would demand more and of course, NEC would produce it in the form of a Hello Kitty Swarovski 1GB USB Memory Stick: And because it is Hello Kitty, [...]

Of course, NEC couldn’t simply stop with a new computer look. They had to create more bling to make Hello Kitty fanatics drool with dreamy lust as their significant others looked on in gut-wrenching pain. Thus the introduction of the Hello Kitty Swarovski crystal bead heart shaped mouse: Of course, this Hello Kitty fanatic lust [...]

Not only is one Hello Kitty laptop not enough for the evil feline, one Hello Kitty NEC Hello Kitty laptop with Swarovski crystal beads is not enough. Thus NEC has released a new version of their Lavie G model covered once again is crystallized bling: Since my wife already has the previous model, why would [...]

Seriously, how many Hello Kitty computer themes do you really need in this world? There was a time not too long ago that you had to pimp out your own Hello Kitty computer, but that is far from the case these days as Hello Kitty Laptops are now made. In fact, it seems with all [...]

While I have no doubt that Hello Kitty will eventually come out with a limited edition Apple iBook (much like the Hello Kitty iPod mini) to compete against the Hello Kitty NEC Lavie G laptop computer, Hello Kitty fanatics aren’t that patient. They need to get their Hello Kitty fix this very second and if [...]

What is the deal with Hello Kitty and masturbation? Apparently the same Hello Kitty that makes me want to continuously vomit brings sexual excitement to far too many people – that is the only explanation to the popularity of the Hello Kitty vibrator and the Hello Kitty S&M Love Hotel Room. This goes to a [...]

My wife loves to show me how Hello Kitty is embraced by computer geeks. Even though I know little about computers, since I make my living on the Internet, she thinks that somehow if she shows me enough Hello Kitty computers products that I will somehow instantaneously see the light and become a Hello Kitty [...]

This exactly what I didn’t need to have arrive in my email box. My wife took one look at it and that was it… She has to have it. The cost is 199,500 yen or approximately $1650. Called the Lavie G Hello Kitty Model and made by NEC, the crystallized Hello Kitty on the front [...]

Ever since my wife saw the pimped out Hello Kitty computer mod, she has decided that she needs to make her laptop more Hello Kitty like. Fortunately, she is too afraid to try and pimp out her computer in the same way as the one featured previously. While that is a small consolation prize in [...]

When I get emailed things like this, it sends shivers down my spine. True, I should be thankful that my wife’s computer is not this bad at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it won’t eventually get there and surpass it. When I get photos like these, I see my future Hello Kitty Hell. That [...]