One mans hell with cute overload
There are few things that surprise me in Hello Kitty Hell these days, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t come across things on a daily basis that make me ask myself, “for the love of all that is supposed to be good in the word…why???” The Hello Kitty dodgeball team definitely falls into that category:
It has already been well established on this blog that dogs that are owned by Hello Kitty fanatics must live in a Hello Kitty Hell on par with mine (for reference for those that might still have any doubt: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – yes, I could go on and on…), so the fact that the evil feline continues to make products specifically for dogs pretty much confirms that there are absolutely no dog lovers working at Sanrio.
If you have any inclination that your significant other would want a Hello Kitty engagement ring, that is the perfect warning sign that you should run away as fast as you possibly can. If you do not heed this sage advice to run and decide that a Hello Kitty engagement ring is somehow a good idea, you should be well aware that you will likely have to wear a Hello Kitty wedding ring and have a Hello Kitty wedding with her wearing Hello Kitty wedding dresses and you in a Hello Kitty tux (no, it certainly isn’t a pretty thought which has sent more than a few strong souls to the local insane asylum…) Basically, prepare for a life of Hello Kitty Hell.
I guess it’s obvious (at least to Hello Kitty fanatics) that there are simply not enough Hello Kitty scars in the world. It’s also pretty obvious that anyone that would think that putting Hello Kitty needles into their back really wouldn’t think twice about having the evil feline hop pen branded into her skin:
You knew that it was simply a matter of time. First it was Hello Kitty toast and coffee. Then came the Hello Kitty eggs (both scrambled and hard boiled) and Hello Kitty bacon (and sausage) which soon lead to Hello Kitty pancakes and Hello Kitty waffles Once the Hello Kitty Fruit Loops made their appearance, did you really think it would stop there? Hello Kitty is determined to take over every part of breakast and she is now going through the cereals one by one with the addition of Hello Kitty corn flakes:
It’s official. Even in death, I will be living in Hello Kitty Hell. It was simply a matter of time before the people at Sanrio realized that their fan base was getting old and beginning to die off. You could see the beginnings of this with the Hello Kitty tombstone, so you knew that the next logical step was to begin producing Hello Kitty coffins:
It has already been well established that Hello Kitty, that loveable and innocent little girl’s character that she is, has quite a fetsih for S&M (you simply need to look at the Hello Kitty flogger, the Hello Kitty latex bed, the Hello Kitty bondage room, the Hello Kitty bondage sofa (NSFW) or the Hello Kitty love hotel room to confirm this). So it’s quite fitting that the evil feline should continue to show her innocence to all with the Hello Kitty ball gag:
The sad thing is that although we all already know that Hello Kitty has completely sold out (think Hello Kitty vibrators or Hello Kitty Hooters), this doesn’t stop others from collaborating with the evil feline and confirming that they, too, have completely sold out. There really is no other explanation for the Hello Kitty KISS collaboration:
