My Biggest Fear
When you live in a Hello Kitty Hell, your perspective on certain things can change dramatically. Take, for example, winning the lottery. Most people dream about how wonderful it would be to win the lottery and how they could buy and do all the things they wished they could if they only had more money. I, on the other hand, pray that my wife never wins the lottery.
My wife likes to play the lottery. Even though I have explained time and again that she is more likely to die from a flesh eating microbe or get killed in an auto accident on the way to purchasing the lottery ticket, she is not deterred. She is convinced that she will win one of these days because “Hello Kitty is looking over me for good luck.” While I like to protest that the reason she shouldn’t play the lottery is that it is a waste of money, the true reason is that my biggest fear is that she will somehow beat the extraordinary odds and actually win. It gives me the shivers just thinking about it.
The reason that I live in fear of her winning the lottery is because whenever she buys the lottery tickets, she also takes the time to explain to me in detail all the things she will do with the money. This, of course, almost exclusively entails Hello Kitty items that we can’t currently afford. It would mean that I would be forced to take trips to Hello Kitty Land (PuroLand) on a regular basis and watch her spend thousands on such stuff as Hello Kitty diamond watches (she doesn’t want just one, she wants the entire set including the $3,250.00 version)
Even worse, there would no longer be a reason for her to continue the Hello Kitty business meaning that Hello Kitty items would continue to come in, but none would be leaving (one of my biggest joys is seeing Hello Kitty sell and leave our house). If she had unlimited money to buy Hello Kitty, I would truly be scared to return home to see what new might be there.
So in the future you hear that someone has won the lottery and upon hearing the news, her husband immediately committed suicide, you know that my biggest fear has come true…