Hello Kitty Fanatic Hell


Hello Kitty fan (play on words)Okay, I admit it. I’m keeping score and the initial score isn’t looking good. When I started Hello Kitty Hell, I thought a bit about how people might react to it. I figured it would give me a release to the Hello Kitty Hell I dwell within, provide a few laughs for those on the outside and possibly get me some sympathy for my plight. What I didn’t predict was that I would begin a fan base for my wife.

That’s right. This blog has produced 7 fan letters to my wife telling her how much they love her store and how they wish they were as lucky as she is to be able to live with so many Hello Kitties around. All I’ve received is a Hello Kitty devil icon and photos of Hello Kitty items that people want me to show to my wife just to clamp down the torture chamber devices that much more. This is what I found in my email box this morning:

I just totally adore Hello Kitty. She is the cutest. And she is such a great teacher! I especially love the ones that wink or are sleepy. I collect those and I’m so jealous of all the Hello Kitty plush you have. You are so lucky. I’d be in heaven with only a tenth of the things that you have.When I’m sad or feeling bad, I have a large Hello Kitty plush that comforts me. She knows my heart like nobody else does. She just listens and lets all my tears flow away. And when I’m happy, her face is always bright and happy…

Not to pigeon hole Hello Kitty fanatics as not having a full set upstairs, but you might want to rethink some things if you consider an animation character of a cat your “teacher.” I could also go on about how Hello Kitty “…just listens and lets my tears flow away” (hmmmm, could it possibly be because she’s not real so she can’t talk, or if you happen to believe she is real, she still doesn’t have a mouth?), but I will restrain myself (sort of;).

Of course, my wife sees these letters in a totally different light. She reads the same lines and says stuff to me like, “oh, how cute. She knows the heart of Hello Kitty” and “She can see the true Hello Kitty, unlike you.”

In addition to having more excuses to expound upon the virtues of Hello Kitty, my wife also finds extreme humor in all of this. She even went so far as to introduce me to one of her friends as ” my Hello Kitty fan promoter” the other day. Of all the courses that this writing venture would take, building a Hello Kitty fan base for my wife was definitely not one that came to mind…and so even when I try to ridicule Hello Kitty and her fans, the coals in the fires of Hello Kitty Hell get some extra fuel poured onto them to keep the place plenty hot…

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16 Responses to Hello Kitty Fanatic Hell

  1. Hanuman1960 says:

    There’s no use fighting it anymore…

    Embrace the Kitty!!! ;)

  2. I think I’ll go and get a rope now…

  3. Puddly says:

    Hug the kitty to dispel your frustration! It will listen to your venting and let your tears run dry. *nods sagely*

  4. maybe knives would be quicker…

  5. RiRi says:

    people who send you those email are insensitive humans….,, they should be burned in the hello kitty hell.. wahahahahaha…

  6. Mike says:

    I too live in a Hello Kitty Hell. Lately I’ve been striking back by changing My Sister-in-laws cutesy HK desktops to something less offensive. How do I do that you ask?? Why by drawing a mouth on HK. This seems to be the ultimate sacrilidge to the HK fan. I’ve also emailed pictures to her of various HK dolls with a pistol pointed at their heads. I have been begging her to give me a HK but she refuses to indulge me knowing full well I would use it as a target at the shooting range.

  7. Alyssa says:

    STAY!!!!! your site should stay! if not for any of your reasons for the sake of entertainment for me lol.. this may make you cringe but i love hello kitty, in a way your wifewould only understand lol and i am so sure my boyfriend would understand how you feel, i stumbled across this and couldnt close without reading it all… please keep it, please i find it so funny, oh and because it is naturally based on the one and only cute hello kitty!!!
    alyssa

  8. Sarah says:

    Hello Kitty DOES have a mouth. Wired interviewed one of the HK employees who was adamant about this. Her clarification is that the mouth is under her fur.

  9. Selena says:

    Sorry, Sarah, that HK employee should be fired immediately because she is wrong!! HK does NOT have a mouth. She speaks from the heart. And I’ll be nice here and not reprimand anyone for not having the correct knowledge because Hello Kitty is an ambassador for peace and she wouldn’t like it if I was bitchy :)

  10. kirsty says:

    i love hello kitty and am currently trying to take over my mothers house, i have accomplished my bedroom where i hold bed covers, a mini fridge, folders, plushies, alarm clock, hair curlors, pictures and many more. also the bathroom wich has my shower gel, flannel and sponge. i love my hello kitty collection and can not think how anyone could hate kitty. she is so cute!!! my mum doesnt mind her one bit and buys me hello kitty merchendise like all my family and friends do. :D

  11. mellovsnear says:

    wow wats all this stuff about ‘Hello Kitty’s heart’ and stuff…….u ppl make me sick,its a freakin cartoon cat……do u ppl who are obsessed with Hello Kitty realize that u need SERIOUS help?!?! CUZ U DO!!!!!!!

  12. Annekat says:

    This website is hilarious. My sides hurt. You are too funny.. And yet… Gee, Hello Kitty. That sure is… cute, I think, isn’t it?

    AAAAHHHGGGG! It’s getting to me!! It’s mind control!!!

  13. Shivorne says:

    Your website is hilarious !!!! Keep up the faith and hopefully oneday the hello kitty hell will come to an end

  14. sara says:

    does anyone know where I can get a hello kitty target pistol

  15. RN says:

    Ohhhhhhhhh kayyyyyyyyy. I’m a batmaniac (batman fan) but I know he’s fake.

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