Hello Kitty Saved


It seems that the Hello Kitty fans came out in force to keep me from smashing Hello Kitty voting 829 to 643 to save her. This show of unity for the one without a mouth has deeply moved me and made me re-evaluate my thoughts regarding Hello Kitty. I have been converted. I now see clearly the need to protect Hello Kitty from evil people as myself that want to smash her. Since I promised to give her away, I want to make sure she goes to a home where she will have the needed protection from people such as me that would want to do her harm.

Hello Kitty is saved

For example, if you had a tank, that would be a great place for me to send Hello Kitty because nobody is going to mess with someone that has a tank. And even if the unthinkable happened — such as you placed Hello Kitty on the ground in front of the tank to make sure she remained well protected and your friend started up the tank without your knowledge and accidentally ran over Hello Kitty while you were filming and taking photos, nobody could really blame you because you had Hello Kitty’s best interest in mind and accidents do happen.

Or if your home just happened to have a flame thrower, I would feel quite safe sending Hello Kitty to you for protection because who would mess with someone with a flame thrower? Now if it happened that while testing the flame thrower to make sure it was in good working order to use for the protection of Hello Kitty, Hello Kitty somehow got in front of the flame which happened to be caught on camera or video, we’d all know that you had her best interest in mind and terrible accidents do happen.

I would also be willing to send you Hello Kitty if you have one of those “will it blend?” blenders and placed Hello Kitty inside it for protection because who would stick their hand into one of those things? Now if someone accidentally hit the blend button while you had a video camera in your hand, we’d all feel terrible, but know that you had only the best intentions of protecting Hello Kitty in mind.

I have decided to send the Hello Kitty figure to the person that has the best protection plan for her. Just for your information, I believe explosives of any type have a high protection level. So if you think that you can provide a protective environment and have a video camera and/or digital camera on the slim chance that something awful goes wrong, leave a comment with all the things that you plan to “protect” Hello Kitty with. I will grant custody of Hello Kitty to whomever I feel can defend her best because we certainly must have massive protective forces in place so that someone like me can’t smash her on purpose.

Thank you, Hello Kitty fans, for teaching me this important lesson…

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47 Responses to Hello Kitty Saved

  1. Beth says:

    I Would Put The Hello Kitty In A Sealed Jam Jar And Put Super Glue On The Rim of The Jar Then Put The Lid On Then Put Celotape Ontop For Exstra Protection Then I Would Put It In A Wooden Box For Safety Purposes I Think That Is Quite Alot Of Protection =D

  2. Elaina says:

    I would place Hello Kitty in the capable hands of my HK hating-er I mean loving- 8 year old son and let the Transformers guard her on the shelf with the Cat who knocks everything to the floor guard her.

  3. Twiggy says:

    i happen to have a very protective hammer that i could place hello kitty nearby so when people come to try and harm her i could easily grab and try to smash the thing with but it would only be an honest mistake if i was hammering a nail nearby hello kitty while i was recording a “do it yourself” video and accidentally smash hello kitty.But only in the intrest of protecting her from loose nails and such

  4. Karen says:

    I believe I can best protect hello kitty. My father collects anvils, chainsaws, and firetrucks. I’m sure no one would mess with somebody with a vintage firetruck. I just can’t imagine how it would ever happen that hello kitty would be run over with a FIRETRUCK, or sawed with a CHAINSAW, or even have an ANVIL dropped on her. You know, and certainly not with digital cameras around.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I’ve got a Glock 17. I could be HK’s armed bodyguard. In fact, for her safety, I’d take HK to the range and show her how a Glock 17 operates.

  6. hklove says:

    You are so mean and have completely ruined the spirit of the vote. You were supposed to give the Hello Kitty to someone that loves Hello Kitty. I don’t know how your wife can stand you being so mean. Why can’t you just love Hello Kitty like everyone else does?

  7. Jennifer says:

    I have a husband who is a reserve police officer and who happens to have an AR15 semi-automatic riffle. I believe he would provide great protection. Who would want to mess with a policeman who has such an impressive weapon?! Also, who could blame him if when he was at target practice someone just happened to shoot the “h&*l” out of Hello Kitty. He would be doing his best afterall and she would be around policemen. So it wouldn’t be his fault.

  8. Amy says:

    That Hello Kitty is SO adorable!
    I would place her on my desk where i can look at her every day along with my other favourite ornaments. There is enough sunlight there so she won’t get dirty and there is also shade so she doesn’t fade. Also i have a lot of plants so there is a watering jug in my room where she can be cleaned. I have no young relatives to break her, and my dog isn’t allowed in my room. When i go out i shut my door so people can’t go in, and when people come round i will wrap her in bubble wrap and place her in my draw to stop her getting damaged. I am a huge Hello Kitty fan, and i would like that figure to add to my collection of HK items. I will provide the perfect home for her, safe, clean, and oput of harms way!

  9. Kristine says:

    Lolz at hklove, god i hope you’re taking the piss, i really really do.

    I would personally take Hello Kitty to an underground old-peoples orgy fest that included all sorts of delights. I mean no one would want to go near an old-peoples orgy fest so she’ll be super protected.. But if it just so happens that the old people run out of butt plugs.. and Hello Kitty is the only small object around.. Well let’s just say that it wouldn’t be my fault because i really do have her best interests in mind and i just want the little darling to be safe.. And if they’re clean old people and they wish to wash poor Hello Kitty and then accidentally drop her onto the floor, well… accidents do happen and we can’t be angry at the little old dears now can we.

  10. saphiestar says:

    My dad is an engineer who happens to have a blowtorch that I can use to protect Hello Kitty with. And my sister is a big Hello Kitty fan as well. She may be clumsy, with tripping down the stairs and all, but I’m pretty sure she’d guard Hello Kitty with her life as well. As a matter of fact, I can give her a blowtorch AND Hello Kitty for her birthday. Tnat way Hello Kitty will belong to her and she can protect it with her blowtorch and all. I’m sure she’ll be careful with Hello Kitty. I mean, she probably won’t burn Hello Kitty like she does marshmallows. And since Hello Kitty just happens to be a mermaid, she’ll probably love taking my place to go to the pool with my sister. Let’s hope she likes to tan and do flips in the water.

  11. Jennifer says:

    hklove is so HKHG’s wife.

  12. Kari Rose says:

    My dads a builder and we constantly have the cement mixer on, so I could throw her in and see her getting thrown about and then harder into a big brick.

  13. annexia says:

    That Hello Kitty is so cute. I think she would love doing chores with my husband. In fact, he’s renting the
    log splitter again this weekend. There are a
    lot more logs to split, and Hello Kitty can
    supervise his work.

    As you can see… I like to take pictures while he’s doing the chores. Maybe they can pose while Hello Kitty is sitting on top of a log he’s about to split?

  14. Maybelle says:

    I live in a very rural area so Hello Kitty will be isolated in a nice, small town. I own a chainsaw and a woodchipper so I think I would be able to protect her from any harm.

  15. Erica says:

    Those guys at “Will it Blend” would take good, good care of her. They might even video tape her to show you how well they are taking care of her.

  16. Heather says:

    Although I don’t have a Blendtec blender with which to protect Ms Kitty, and I don’t have a tank that I could use in Hello Kitty’s Arsenal of Free Cuteness, I can offer the services of my geek brother and I. You see, my brother is rather famous for his many ingenius ways in which he modifies nerf guns into semi-automatic dart-firing machines. And honestly, as much as I love tanks, they’re much to hard and rigid to protect Hello Kitty. And as much as I love Blendtec blenders, the blender is much too square, and its blades are much too sharp and shiny. No, Hello Kitty needs to be protected by something from her own universe; something soft, cute, brightly colored, and slightly fuzzy. You know, like a nerf dart… that’s capable of being fired across a football field.
    You might be wondering, how would a nerf gun compare to the protection power of the glock that someone else offered? Well, I somehow doubt that Hello Kitty’s cute little petite, feminine hands could withstand the shock of firing a glock. But she could easily fire the cute little missiles that come out of a nerf gun with enough force to give a full sized man a black eye. See? Not only would a nerf gun provide protection through pain, that pain would come from something as soft, gooshy, and cute as Hello Kitty herself. It’s a little something I like to call Poetic Justice.

    So if you grant me the privilege of protecting Hello Kitty, I will do my best to guard her with my family’s entire arsenal of super soft, super cute weaponry. That includes everything from the air-tank powered automatic dart rifle, to the massive customized camel-back missile launcher. I’d even take Hello Kitty out to the next Nerf War, so that she can learn how to defend herself with a nerf gun her own size. But if she should happen to take a little friendly fire, don’t worry, how much damage could a nerf missile really do? ;)

    Anyway, that’s my pitch from my nerf soapbox. I say the best justice is poetic justice, and the best way to protect the sweetest, cutest, softest, most feminine kitty in history, is with the softest, foamiest, fastest weapons on the planet: nerf.

    Thank you, and God Bless. :)

  17. Kena says:

    hi.. well what I have to offer you to keep safe HK, well.. I live in Mexico, so you can imagine that the simple trip of the HK to my house will be the safes’t to garantee that she arrives in perfect conditions, since you wrap it so carefully and i open the box, i can be sure that no accident will happen because the mexican mail is perfect, of course, i’m sure i will get the box because here nothing is stollen or desapears without a reason, for sure if something happens tu HK, it wil be Mexican mail fault.

    What else?, at the moment it arrives to home, I will keep it in a place where my 2 nees would be able to take care of it, of course, they are 3 years old and the other one, the most HK fan, is 1 year old,so you can imagine how much fun they will have with it, taking care and keeping it safe.

  18. TK says:

    I would glue Hello Kitty inside an unbreakable glass jar, surrounded by land mines in a corner of my bedroom, so I could always keep a close eye on her. Actually, I’d probably make a new bedroom, under my house, through a secret passage that no one except me & my guards knows about

    There would be surveillance cameras aimed at her from all angles, 24 hours a day. Color even, none of that cheap black & white convenience store crap

    I would hire a Buckingham Palace guard to watch her, again 24 hours a day.
    They would be armed with tommy guns & trained to shoot to kill.

    I’d keep a flame thrower under my bed just in case some super-stealthy ninjas broke in to get her. Ninja suits are highly flammable.

    My fiance & I would also take turns watching her – he’d cover the day shift, & I’d be up all night, making sure no one snuck in & smashed her while I was dozing. Caffiene pills should do the trick.

    I’d make several fakes & place them randomly around the house. I’d make sure they were trapped, & whenever any of them are moved, something would either explode, or shoot the person moving them.

  19. cloudiko says:

    Well…I have a whole fleet of Hamtaro plushies. They’re so damn cute they give you cavities just looking at them. Who in their right mind would want to look such plushies in their creepy glassy eyes? I think Hamtaro might give Hello Kitty a run for her money…..

    Oh, and I have a John Deere. I would put her in the cab and have her help me do the gardening. If she happened to fall out of the cab and I backed over her….or buried her in dirt….or accidently buried her alive….I would come running to her rescue. With a video camera (recording purposes) and a shovel to bur- I mean, un-bury her.

  20. Ralph says:

    I plan to protect Hello Kitty with my fully choked shotgun, and if she happens to accidentally get thrown up into the air in a fit of joy while i’m shooting skeet, then it should be a sad day for Hello Kitty. Whoops.

  21. R says:

    i would make sure she gets on the probe that is going to launched to explore the newest blackhole in a nearby solar system …
    once she is in the grip of the blackhole she will be safe until the end of the universe as we know it…
    hell , she may pop out on the other side of creation if the ‘wormhole’ theory is correct…

  22. Floralia says:

    I have a young great dane….. Who would mess with a dog that size??
    It surely woulde be a shame, if she got holf of Hello Kitty an used her as a toothpick, like more toys from my boys…
    ;)

  23. VV says:

    Please let me know how to get the hello kitty fish tank!

  24. patty says:

    I have much protection to offer Hello Kitty
    I have in my possession a sturdy film camera as well that I AM DYING to try out…a nice nifty little camera ..I think Kitty would LOVE to have some footage taken of her…Shes a beauty queen..And by all means she should be filmed so It may be shared with her adoring public!!
    To protect Hell Kitty mermaid I have the perfect means of keeping harm at bay..I mean who would even THINK of gettting near her in the park……when I have a nice big CHERRY BOMB , and assorted firework set up around her to protect her…I mean really…WHO could THINK of such a thing…hmmmmm?
    I mean it would be horrible if someone HAPPENED to be smoking nearby and HAPPENED to casually drop a lit match near her protective firepower….hmmm…I couldn’t IMAGINE what I could do in time to stop it…I mean if I’m behind the camera and all……I’m sure that it would be too henious to watch the ensuing footage….
    over and over…and over..and OVER again……….right???

    hmmmmmmmmmmm i wonderrrrrrrrr…
    aheeennn

  25. John Doe says:

    My friend has a Hugh Snake as pet… I think it would be a great Guardian too~ Just imagine that Lovely HK are closely protected (squeeze-protection) ;) by a snake 24/7~~ You must feel good that time~

  26. Meeshl says:

    I am a big HK fan and I’m living in Japan right now. I would take HK with me where ever I go, even on those fast express trains that speed through many of the stations. I always carry my digital camera with me take some nice pics of HK on the platform where the express train doesn’t stop…..

  27. Sandra says:

    Bless you! *shakes your hands “Pope” style* You did the right thing saving that Hello Kitty :)

  28. Siouxie says:

    Sandra,
    Read the posts. I hardly think she has been saved from anything.

  29. olivia123 says:

    i would put hello kitty in a tank full of sharks and went/ if its get dirty i will fish it out clean it than put in back in the tank then if somebody tries 2 take it i will remove it and put it ma safe and dust it off every sunday…and if i go out of town i will wrap her up and put her in ma purse and than if some thing happen two her ill take a pic.and cry and than ill try 2 glue her together cuz i love hello kitty so much,but thats not goin 2 happen so than wen ma baby iz born ill put her in a glass case and have them put a security lock on it thats how ill keep it safe and i really think i would take the best care of here

    p.s.if i really think she may really get hurt ill put her in a safe and bury her in the ground until ill think its safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  30. Sakura (jeannette) says:

    I would place Hello Kitty in the room of pink luff and plushies galore!!! FILLED with many other hello kitty items and a Pomeranian who attacks those evil!!!

    As a HUGE hello kitty fan I will give her to most protection EVER!! I will be posting a video on my living conditions for hello kitty!!!! I LOVE YOU HELLO KITTY!!!

    She would be placed in the best enviorment fit for her with me.

    OH PLEASE OH PLEASE i luff hello kitty !! she sits on my desk as a mouse pad, as an umbrella, a build a bear work shop hello kitty, shirts of way to many, a candle of hello kitty ( never burned ) hello kitty uno..and so on

    I will post my video soon for PROOF

  31. Laura says:

    I would place Hello Kitty ever so gently into a condom (using a extreme amount of lubricant)…. it says the best in protection on the box… really in this day and age a bigger concern is germs and airborn diseases… and think about biological warfare… she would be the HK in the Bubble. I think this will keep her the safest.

  32. Jess says:

    I concur with Jennifer, I think Mr. HK Hell and Ms. HK Love are Mr. & Mrs. HK Love-Hell.

    I have a very nice bright yellow sportscar. It’s a 70s classic with a convertible top. Now, Hello Kitty! loves car rides, right? Of course! And she loves happy colours like bright, bright yellow. Why, who wouldn’t! And that colour of yellow would go with her very fine mermaid tail. Why, she would not only want to see, she would possibly accidentally climb up onto the top of the car to be seen, as she is the most fine thing that ever was, and I LOVE Hello Kitty! mermaid with all of my heart. I would never want her to cry or pout or be sad, I would let her. A happy HK! makes for a happy family and home and life, right?

    So, I would take HK! to the beach in the car, seeing as she is a mermaid, and mermaids really are ocean creatures. Well, I would have to concentrate and drive, so if Hello Kitty! climbed onto the top of the car to be seen and to see better . . . well, I would HAVE to make Hello Kitty! happy, because it is what humans with big, big hearts are for — to love HK! best of all over everything (like things that breathe and can show affection back and stupid stuff like that. Hello Kitty IS love. Those things only can give love, and commiting one’s self to things which ARE love is better than loving things which GIVE love. Ask anyone who begged a boon of Venus.).

    Don’t give her to me. I would spoil her and allow her do everything she wanted: skydiving, rock climbing, bungee jumping, racing construction equipment . . . oh, the list could go on and on. I would be a terrible HK! Mommy because I have too much love! And HK! is love! And with HK!, I would find myself too lenient. So I am truly wretched, which is why I voted to smash her, so she could be love for everyone here instead of only for ONE PERSON who has too little love than ALL of us!!!111!!eleven!!

  33. marichigo says:

    As a member of a medieval reenactment group located in denmark, I could protect hello kitty with all sorts of interesting weaponry… swords, longbows, pikes, halberds, clubs and flails… and all those cooking fires would keep her nice and warm, too! And of course, should a guy in full plate armour just happen to step on her, it’s not really his fault, because you can’t look down while wearing those helmets… really, you can’t :)

  34. Shayna says:

    There is no better place than my home for Hello Kitty. My husband is a Cav Scout in the Army and drives all those very large, VERY protective, vehicles. He could protect her better than anyone, for me. He knows how to shoot dozens of weapons and could strike down any attack posed against this precious Hello Kitty. He also wears spurs as part of his uniform and a swift kick to any would-be attacker would immediately halt the nefarious progress of a Hello Kitty hater.
    It is obvious your choice has been made.

  35. Carol Easton says:

    I live in Beirut, Lebanon and I DO have a tank so I’ll protect Kitty with my life and TANK.

    Love your blog as much as I love the Kitty.

  36. Daisy says:

    Yay! She was saved!

  37. Amy says:

    I forgot to mention that i also have 2 friends who do karate so if anyone comes near HK they can protect her with their karate moves! Also i have a brother, which is reason enough for not having many threatning visators, they will look at him and run away xD
    *Kidding Matt*

  38. Yayo says:

    Did you give this thing away yet? I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who owns a camera. The second guy specializes in “protection.” The first guy knows nothing from nothing. But he’s who you talk to to get to the second guy. And the camera.

  39. melanie says:

    I love hello kitty I am 18 years old and I have loved her forever! I am also in love with my fish tank! I have a ten gallon tank with fiesty fish who would love hello kitty and not let anything harm her. She would be perfect for my beautiful tank! let me know if you want to see pictures!

  40. Sakura (jeannette) says:

    OH PLEASE SEND ME KITTY !! My doggy attacks bad people, my grandad is a good hunter with guns~, My enviorment is fit for hello kitty!! She can also live in our fish tank with the fishys~

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EqqcUMXiUI

    Look at my video!! At the end is a PORTION of my hello kitty collection, I have even more shirts of her and place mats of her face!! SEND ME KITTY I LOVE HER!!!

    kittybaebi2@hotmail.com

  41. Georgeanna says:

    OH SH** HOW DID IT GET SAVED if i got it i would put it i a glass jar and put that in a box and that in a car and that car in a truck then that on a plain then drop it from the plane and if it does not break then i will get the hell-o kitty …. thing out and veary personaly … smash it with a hamer

  42. Kaja says:

    Well I’m a medievalist for a hobby (And I thought we were crazy till I read this) But there is a nice spot for Hello Kitty amidst the swords, axes, anvils, pikes, spears, war hammers, archers and many men in armor that wield them to keep her very safe I am sure. And we would all gladly volunteer to make sure she is kept safe by at least… 4-5 men perhaps.

  43. Pingback: Hello Kitty Educational Video: Hello Kitty Hell

  44. ashlee and ashley says:

    i think we have the best plan for hello kitty. first we would wee put her aound the dog. seeing hes the size of a horse and wouldn t hurt a fly. and then bythe dog we would but i big big big ditch filled whit dog toy that way the dog could eat the toys not hk bbut if the toys happpen to be hk then that would be your fault and she would die and i could blame you cuz you gave her to us

  45. aj says:

    GAWD YOU PPLL!!!!!!!!! ARE MEAN TO HELLO KITTY SHE IS A LOVING CARING PRESON. JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLOOOO KITTTY IS THE BEST THING SENCE SLICED BREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO HER!!!!!!! I SOULD SUE YO0U FOR AMNIAL CRULTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ALL OF YOU PPL ARE GOING TO DIE SLOW PAINFUL DEATHS AND HELLO KITTY WILL BE CRYING OVER YOU EVEN THO WHAT YOUR DOOING TO HER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. Emily says:

    I would place her int he protectiong of my friend, druggie the tim. Tim likes cocaine, and, when he is on a “trip” He gets things interted into his anus.
    For er, protection.

  47. sam says:

    Hello,

    I have a very sweet daughter which really love HK, maybe she will protect HK and loving it.

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