Monthly Archives: June 2007

Hello Kitty Musical

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, a “fun night on the town” is not what any normal person would consider “fun.” Unfortunately, there are a lot of Hello Kitty themed events that I end up getting dragged along to. By far the worst of these are the Hello Kitty musicals: I don’t know if there is an adequate way to describe the excruciating pain that comes with having to attend one of these. Let’s just say that I would … Continue reading

Posted in Music | 16 Comments

Hello Kitty Maori

Not being satisfied to take over all mainstream cultures, Hello Kitty is now attempting to take over literally ALL cultures as can be seen in this Hello Kitty Maori creation: I have no doubt that the staff at Sanrio have already sent people deep into the Amazon jungle looking for long lost tribes to convert to the Hello Kitty way. Hello Kitty Hell will soon be a reality for everyone… Thanks to duncan (via artist Joseph), who should be forced … Continue reading

Posted in Strange | 46 Comments

Hello Kitty Bowling Shoes

One of the worst things about blogging about Hello Kitty Hell is that as soon as I put something up, I start receiving emails with photos attached for other things that my wife will want associated with whatever was just posted. I’ve already explained that my wife doesn’t bowl, so why would she need Hello Kitty bowling shoes in addition to the useless Hello Kitty bowling balls? Of course, my wife thinks these are the cutest things in the world … Continue reading

Posted in Clothes, Sports | 17 Comments

Hello Kitty Bowling Ball

I’ve mentioned numerous times before that even though my wife doesn’t play the instrument or the sport, that doesn’t stop her from wanting the Hello Kitty item involved. Her latest lust is for the Hello Kitty bowling ball: Of course, with Hello Kitty it isn’t as simple as that. You might assume that one Hello Kitty bowling ball pattern would be enough, but alas that would be underestimating Hello Kitty’s world domination plan. Thus my wife is in her usual … Continue reading

Posted in Sports | 24 Comments

Hello Kitty Psycho Test

Now before all you Hello Kitty fans (who shouldn’t even be viewing this blog anyway – haven’t you realized this is an anti-Hello Kitty blog yet?) get into a Hello Kitty hissy-fit about the title of this entry, I’m just using the words that Sanrio uses in their own url to post (see, even Sanrio thinks that all of you Hello Kitty fanatics are a bit psycho – actually double psycho if you look at the url) the Hello Kitty … Continue reading

Posted in Health | 41 Comments

Hello Kitty Hospital

I know it is going to be a Hello Kitty Hellish day when my wife screams with excitement about a new Hello Kitty place she wants to visit. It appears that there is a women’s hospital in Taiwan that has a Hello Kitty room for expectant mothers. It is decorated with pictures of Hello Kitty and Mimmy and who knows what else… I suppose this is their way of making the father go through the same pain and nausea as … Continue reading

Posted in Health, Strange | 26 Comments

Hello Kitty Beer

Reader Danny took pity on me and is the first person that decided my Hello Kitty Hell deserved some intoxication to help dull the pain and get me through it. He’s the first person to buy me a beer (click on the title of this post and look to the right if you have no clue what I’m talking about). Despite his generosity and my thankful senses, Hello Kitty Hell would be Hello Kitty Hell if I could simply drink … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 9 Comments

Hello Kitty Car Exhaust Pipe

It had to happen (I was just praying that it happened after I had already died). My wife finally found and purchased a Hello Kitty exhaust pipe for our car in her attempt to Hello Kittify all our transportation: Way too many people have sent me in this photo (don’t you all have better things to do than to try and make my life more Hello Kitty Hellish?) and for awhile I managed to convince my wife that it was … Continue reading

Posted in Vehicle | 77 Comments

Hello Kitty Saved Update II

Just a quick note to let everyone know that the Hello Kitty porcelain figure which the readers here decided to save arrived safely at Heather’s house (against my better judgment, I actually wrapped her well so she wouldn’t get damaged along the way). Heather promises to do her best to protect her, but does have a video camera fixed on her on the off chance that something goes wrong…

Posted in Hello Kitty | 2 Comments

Hello Kitty Jason

Somehow this seems like a Hello Kitty alter ego that is probably deep within her, although I still think she is scarier without the mask (although the fact that a Hello Kitty chainsaw really does exist is even scarier): Sent in by duncan (via artist Joseph) Update: You knew there was no way that the Jason x Hello Kitty theme would ever end with just one item: Sent in by Rob

Posted in Strange | 31 Comments

Hello Kitty Flowers

My wife loves to get flowers, but a dozen roses won’t do. In fact, any bouquet of regular flowers, no matter how beautiful, just doesn’t make the grade. If I ever give her flowers, they have to be Hello Kitty flowers: When guests come over and she wants us to have flowers on the table, they have to be Hello Kitty. What’s crazy is that you can go into practically any flower shop in Japan and they will know how … Continue reading

Posted in Decor | 38 Comments

Hello Kitty Dog Tattoo

There are a lot of things that are just plain wrong with Hello Kitty fanatics. Getting a Hello Kitty tattoo is one of them. Getting a Hello Kitty Star Wars tattoo is even worse. But when Hello Kitty fanatics start tattooing their dog with Hello Kitty, there has been a boundary that has been crossed. Can there be a bigger insult if you are a dog? Having to go around in life with a Hello Kitty tattoo because you owner … Continue reading

Posted in Pets, Strange, Tattoo | 261 Comments

Hello Kitty Educational Video

Now that the Hello Kitty ceramic figure has been saved and is on its way to well protected safety, I thought that with my new found affection for Hello Kitty I should do something responsible for all those impressionable kids out there. I therefore spoke with my wife and convinced her to give me a couple of Hello Kitty plush to use as characters to make an educational video. Even better, Hello Kitty is dressed in a school uniform and … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 32 Comments

Hello Kitty Toilet Seat

Of course, since my wife wants to have a Hello Kitty bathtub, a Hello Kitty toilet and basically a Hello Kitty pimped out bathroom, then it is essential to have a Hello Kitty toilet seat to go along with it: Sometimes in Hello Kitty Hell there are no words to describe what you’re feeling when the add-ons to already ridiculous Hello Kitty crap never stop appearing…

Posted in Decor | 18 Comments

Hello Kitty Speakers

In the overall scheme of things, Hello Kitty speakers wouldn’t seem to be a top priority to highlight in Hello Kitty Hell, but it is these often mundane Hello Kitty gadgets that typify how terrible Hello Kitty Hell can be. See, when my wife gets something new like these, she has to show how happy she is by using the newest Hello Kitty gadget in her collection. That means listening to the Hello Kitty theme song 24/7 on a pair … Continue reading

Posted in Gadgets | 18 Comments

Hello Kitty Klingon

One of the most annoying aspects of Hello Kitty (okay, that was a pretty lousy initial sentence since there really aren’t any aspects of Hello Kitty that aren’t annoying) is her inability to stay out of other fan based phenomenons. She has to be a part of anything and everything that has the least bit of pop culture popularity. It is the reason that you see stuff like a Hello Kitty Darth Vader or this little piece that should make … Continue reading

Posted in Strange | 25 Comments

Hello Kitty Toilet

You knew that it would be impossible for Hello Kitty to stop at Hello Kitty toilet paper and when the Hello Kitty bathtub made it’s presence known, I had that haunting Hello Kitty Hell feeling what was going to be coming next. Of course, my wife thinks we need the Hello Kitty toilet to compliment all the Hello Kitty crap that is already in our bathroom: As a guy, I’m not sure if there is anything more humiliating than going … Continue reading

Posted in Decor, Strange | 26 Comments

Hello Kitty Saved Update

As you all know, I promised to choose someone to give the Hello Kitty ceramic figure to in order to protect it when you overwhelmingly voted to save her instead of letting me smash her with a hammer. There were a lot of entries that put a lot of thought into how to protect Hello Kitty, but ultimately I decided to go with Heather and her Nerf missile guns (she is being sent out this weekend), because one of the … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 8 Comments

One Hello Kitty Fanatic Down

A rare glimpse of sunshine to drown out the Hello Kitty Hell pinkness arrived in my email: I’m going to be honest with you – I found your website by trying to find Hello Kitty items. And I’ll admit that I am (or was?) a Hello Kitty fan. Not really a fanatic, but I did shriek with delight sometimes over anything with that cat on it. Actually, my boyfriend is in Japan right now, so he sent me Hello Kitty … Continue reading

Posted in Hello Kitty | 5 Comments

Hello Kitty Money

You thought that Hello Kitty would stop at religion and sex? Not a chance. It now appears her fans want to make her a part of our financial lives: It would not surprise me in the least if Sanrio is waging a massive campaign to try and convince the US government to replace George with the face of Hello Kitty because as my wife commented, “Oh, wouldn’t it be soooo cute if Hello Kitty was on all our money?” Yes, … Continue reading

Posted in Money | 30 Comments