Hello Kitty Condoms
You knew that they would show up eventually, but who knew they would be in the form of lollipops? Hello Kitty condoms:
These are a quite disturbing development for reasons that should be obvious to anyone, but since Hello Kitty fanatics don’t usually follow the rules when it comes to the obvious, I will expound on this a bit.
1. The last place I want to see Hello Kitty when I look down is there. In fact, just the thought of something like that occurring is sending shivers down my spine…
2. While putting anything on related to Hello Kitty goes against my better judgement, putting on something that’s Hello Kitty there goes well beyond any Hello Kitty Hell I can even imagine.
3. I really can’t think of anything that would be quite as unmanly as having your significant other compliment how cute “it” looks with a Hello Kitty condom wrapped around it (which is the likely reaction of a Hello Kitty fanatic).
4. When a guy puts a condom on, he pretty much has a single thought on his mind. This does not include putting on different Hello Kitty condoms as if it were a fashion show.
5. Having to stop multiple times in the middle of doing it because the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to see “how cute it is” again and again pretty much would take the joy and pleasure out of the evening.
6. Being sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag because I wasn’t enthusiastic enough about this newest Hello Kitty item would pretty much top off the way I would expect the evening to end.
As you can see, the existence of Hello Kitty condoms is pretty much a nightmare for any guy that has a relationship with a Hello Kitty fanatic and something that definitely is going to cause the fires in Hello Kitty Hell to reach new levels…
Sent in by betty who deserves punishment far worse than even I can imagine, for even thinking that showing my wife the existence of these could in any way be a good idea…
Posted: November 12th, 2007 under Hello Kitty Health, Hello Kitty Sex, Hello Kitty Strange.
Comments: 87
Comments
#1 Comment from yet another anonymous
Time: November 12, 2007, 11:44 pm
In the form of lollipops! That’s a clever marketing.
Does this promote intimate time? Some may say ‘yes’. I hope the condom has a Hello Kitty on its surface and it tastes like a sweet candy.
It is quite interesting (or exciting) to imagine such.
#2 Comment from Cat Lady
Time: November 13, 2007, 2:16 am
Well…Hello Kitty IS all about spreading love and happiness!
Guess it was just a matter of time until Sanrio decided to take that so literally.
Is there nothing that they won’t Kittify though?! Is nothing sacred or taboo?!
Just the thought of what other ‘love accessories’ Sanrio is going to put Kitty on next is enough to send me into a massive case of the evil giggles.
PS
I can’t wait to see how Darlene is going to defend Kitty condoms!
#3 Comment from DJ Psychomike
Time: November 13, 2007, 3:44 am
Douches, vibrators and now condoms.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is how Sanrio makes 1 billion dollars a year.
#4 Comment from betty
Time: November 13, 2007, 4:13 am
only in sweden! xD
I was so happy when I found them!
#5 Comment from Absinth
Time: November 13, 2007, 4:26 am
I sincerely don’t know what to say… condoms? What next? Flavored ou scented condoms to make you intimate moments more sweet? I’m at a loss for words… :S
And, Cat Lady, I’m with you… How will Darlene defend this new and wonderfull items?
#6 Comment from Oh God No
Time: November 13, 2007, 6:31 am
And just when I thought they’d gone too far with the vibrators…
I don’t even want to know where they’ll go next…
#7 Comment from darlene
Time: November 13, 2007, 7:00 am
Why are you so uptight? Are you really that insecure in your manhood?
If cute condoms get women to get their boyfriends to wear them, all the better. I imagine that flavored condoms are bad too? Hello Kitty provides the opportunity to let women take control of a sexual situation so they don’t get pregnant or get an unwanted diseases. And all you can do is ridicule this service.
The only thing disturbing is your complete lack of support of women and it starts to make sense why you can’t admit that Hello Kitty is good. Please leave the commentary out and just show the pictures. It would make this blog so much better.
#8 Comment from yet another anonymous
Time: November 13, 2007, 8:21 am
Oh, darlene is so loyal to Hello Kitty (or loyal to Sanrio).
I love to send packs of Hello Kitty condom to her (if I know where to buy and whereabout of darlene).
#9 Comment from jen-chan
Time: November 13, 2007, 9:07 am
another bullet point to add:
the fact that they are so cute and child like. Are they TRYING to get kids to have sex?!?!?! oh wait, it’s japan, nevermind.
#10 Comment from DJ Psychomike
Time: November 13, 2007, 9:12 am
Hello Kitty poised to become the new symbol of Planned Parenthood?
I have no idea if flavored condoms are either good or bad Darlene, because I’ve never tasted one.
#11 Comment from DJ Psychomike
Time: November 13, 2007, 9:14 am
Can you imagine the outcry here if they were marketed here?
#12 Comment from lai
Time: November 13, 2007, 9:22 am
Well think about it in a different way.. Condoms are used to prevent a pregnancy or an STD… I can’t imagine a better way of preventing, because this condoms will definitely prevent having sex at all..
#13 Comment from TeratoMarty
Time: November 13, 2007, 9:28 am
Hello Kitty wants me to put her on my dick? Ewww!
Also, Darlene, “Hello Kitty provides the opportunity to let women take control of a sexual situation” WHAT? If you’re not already in control of your sexual situation, without the intervention of cartoon characters, you need to get OUT of that sexual situation. Women have the allmighty vagina, they get to decide what goes in it- and they get to stipulate that whatever’s going in be sheathed in the appropriate prophylactic.
Again, I suppose that doesn’t apply to you, sweet 46 and never been kissed.
#14 Comment from Zararocs
Time: November 13, 2007, 10:34 am
Oh snap, TeratoMarty! Can you imagine being a twenty-something girl at a bar and hooking up with some guy you met; then, asking him to put on of these on! LOL, I can’t imagine any guy doing that…”I just got these, aren’t they so cute, I can’t wait to try them out!” Yikes, talk about catering to a younger population of sex-driven kids in a sex-driven society.
#15 Comment from jennster
Time: November 13, 2007, 11:13 am
if there was a murder, and the killer wrote, “i did it all for hello kitty!!” and drew HK faces on the walls with the victim’s blood…. would darlene be able to defend the fearsome feline then? maybe she would. chances are she would be the killer!
#16 Comment from m
Time: November 13, 2007, 11:34 am
LMAO all of this is too much. You guys are a riot. I’m convinced Darlene is the 10 y/o daughter of an American Sanrio employee as she has zero reservations about trusting a company who makes stationery and imaginary animals to protect her sexually and cleanse her internally. Will she still defend HK when she has uteran cancer and 10 kids herself? I hope HK also spreads the love of settlements! But she would never sue HK of course!
#17 Comment from LadyXS
Time: November 13, 2007, 12:45 pm
looool. I’m sorry but all of this sounds like you would have already been forced to wear these condoms and are describing your thoughts XD. This entry seriously cracked me up. It’s odd how Hello Kitty doesn’t want Hello Kitty vibrators yet it does want Hello Kitty condoms. I’m so sorry you had to come accross this item, and I hope your wife doesn’t find out…unless she already has…xD
#18 Comment from TeratoMarty
Time: November 13, 2007, 1:09 pm
It strikes me that HK not only wants a dick inside her, she wants to be inside a girl at the same time. Who knew that Hello Kitty liked bisexual “lucky Pierre” threesomes?
I’m gonna go bleach my brain now.
#19 Comment from sleepy
Time: November 13, 2007, 1:49 pm
Think about it this way, at least with you won’t be breeding any new Hello Kitty fans when wearing one 
#20 Comment from jennster
Time: November 13, 2007, 2:23 pm
lol marty! thanks for the coffee i just shot out my nose!
#21 Comment from TeratoMarty
Time: November 13, 2007, 3:05 pm
IOU Jennster 1 coffee
#22 Comment from jennster
Time: November 13, 2007, 3:22 pm
nah it’s all good. the laugh was totally worth it!
#23 Comment from jennster
Time: November 13, 2007, 3:24 pm
Darlene typed …”so they don’t get pregnant or get an unwanted diseases.”
apparently hello kitty does not have a grammer school.
#24 Comment from TeratoMarty
Time: November 13, 2007, 3:45 pm
Yeah… are there some diseases people *want* to get? I mean, babies have always seemed like sexually-transmitted parasites to me, but they don’t really count.
#25 Pingback from Hello Kitty – Bad or Good? « Gramo’s World
Time: November 13, 2007, 3:59 pm
[...] mind you, was initially sold to pre-adolescent girls) actually include Hello Kitty toilet paper, Hello Kitty condoms, Hello Kitty vibrators (sold as shoulder massagers) and some rather strange looking Hello Kitty [...]
#26 Comment from Richard B
Time: November 13, 2007, 4:00 pm
[quote] The only thing disturbing is your complete lack of support of women and it starts to make sense why you can’t admit that Hello Kitty is good. Please leave the commentary out and just show the pictures. It would make this blog so much better.[/quote]
Supporting women? Hell, you can do that with normal condoms. It seems the thing you lack is support for MEN.
You seem to be a girl, so I suppose you would never understand how humiliating it would be to wear one of those condoms. Its all perfect to you because your a girl and cute things suit you. But before you talk crap to hellokittyhell, think of how a man would feel wearing one of those things, not how a woman would feel.
#27 Comment from LA
Time: November 13, 2007, 7:12 pm
The condom probably breaks ON PURPOSE so that you can give birth to another fanatic. That’s a guraentee that with in just 9 months Hello Kitty will have a nother devotee….and you will be buying even more of her products.
#28 Comment from 90210
Time: November 13, 2007, 7:25 pm
Darlene:
If you husband or boyfriend let’s you put a Hello Kittly Condom on his you know what then he’s probably not straight. It’s time to question his sexuality. Hard on’s and Hello Kitty should never mix…unless Hello Kitty is the only Kitty in the room.
I am a woman. I use condoms every time I have sex. Just not Hell Kitty Condoms. NOT EVER! But I’ll be giving them out as gag gifts to my gay friends.
#29 Comment from TeratoMarty
Time: November 13, 2007, 8:16 pm
What, are you kidding? Darlene’s not got a boyfriend, she probably can’t even imagine the anatomical structure that these “condoms” are meant to fit over.
#30 Comment from m
Time: November 14, 2007, 1:25 am
LOL this just keeps getting better and better!
LA : That’s a guraentee that with in just 9 months Hello Kitty will have a nother devotee….and you will be buying even more of her products.
I love this paranoid theory!! Totally believable!! o.o
#31 Comment from Suzanne
Time: November 14, 2007, 3:27 am
Is Hello Kitty SERIOUSLY ON the condom too, like there’s designs on her on the condom and not just on the packaging? Okay, that’s just freaky. If it were a regular condom in cute packaging, they wouldn’t be THAT bad. But if there are kitty faces all over the damn thing, that’s really really creepy.
#32 Comment from Absinth
Time: November 14, 2007, 3:35 am
You guys are great!!! I love to read your discussions! 
#33 Comment from Alfred
Time: November 14, 2007, 6:59 am
TRES CUTE! I would 100% wear em!
#34 Comment from Alfred
Time: November 14, 2007, 7:06 am
I think DARLENE RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3
#35 Comment from DJ Psychomike
Time: November 14, 2007, 7:10 am
There are other characters in the Sanrio/ Hello Kitty world on condoms.
Maybe wants consumers from the cradle to the grave.
Could the Hello Kitty wheel chair be far off?
#36 Comment from Kitty foo foo
Time: November 14, 2007, 7:45 am
is this why she says chu !! ?!?!
#37 Comment from sanriobaby
Time: November 14, 2007, 2:15 pm
This is disturbing, but there are other “novelty condoms” out there. Not too long ago, everyone thought those glow-in-the-dark condoms were freaky. Now they have some with happy faces on them or lipstick kisses printed on, ect. If I came across these HK condoms, I would buy them just to add them to my collection. I would never subject my husband to wearing these, and if I even tried, trust me, there would be no need for it, because he would not have sex with a HK condom on, even if the the HK print was just on the wrapper!
#38 Comment from liz
Time: November 14, 2007, 11:45 pm
……..it’d so turn me off to see that on my boyfriend…DON’T DO IT!!!
#39 Comment from Mag
Time: November 15, 2007, 12:21 am
I fear “Hello Kitty, the day after pills” might be coming.
#40 Comment from Suzanne
Time: November 15, 2007, 1:14 am
If I recall correctly, I saw some Hello Kitty condoms on ebay (not this kind, it was a different style) and it said right in the listing that the condom PROBABLY won’t prevent pregnancy or STDs… um, what’s the point then? lol. I swear, I love Hello Kitty and all, but her products have a way of um… being complete crap and not working the way they’re supposed to.
#41 Comment from db
Time: November 15, 2007, 10:28 am
this reminds me of the pokemon condoms that were out too… Don’t get me wrong, i like hk in MODERATION … and i’d rather slap pikachu on someone than hk. what a way to further sex, accidental pregnancies, and so many abused and broken hearts… not to mention furthering the inabilities to bond that happen when people have ‘too many’ sex partners. damn sanrio, talk to a psychologist before making new products
#42 Comment from a
Time: November 16, 2007, 3:14 pm
Saw the picture, and the first thing that came to my mind was a three year old, throwing a tantrum in a supermarket: “wanna Hello Kitty lollipop!” and the embarrassed Mother has to explain that these aren’t…
#43 Comment from HelloLOL
Time: November 17, 2007, 10:34 am
Found Hello Kitty hell while googling HK sewing machines. Laughed about last year’s article on the Hello Kitty computer card sewing machine that would embroider HK on Mssr. Hell’s socks and polo shirts. Hiccuped the price, though — $1000 U.S.
Then looked at the most recent blog post, scrolled down to condom post … and howled. Sooooo funny.
#44 Comment from Liz
Time: November 19, 2007, 4:40 pm
Heheh…any guy who thinks this would be a GOOD idea would probably want this cellphone charm: http://inventorspot.com/articles/hello_kitty_gets_frisky_sexy_gir_7077
#45 Comment from 90210
Time: November 19, 2007, 4:59 pm
They should make a Hello kitty Pregnancy test!!!!!
#46 Pingback from Breakfast at Charly’s | More Links Monday
Time: November 19, 2007, 9:13 pm
[...] Hello Kitty Condoms — No. Just no. I love the Kitty but not in my hoo-ha. [...]
#47 Comment from Tabitha
Time: November 20, 2007, 5:14 am
I just laughed out loud so much when I read this. It’s lucky we’re both married or I would probably be wildly in love with you for being so funny.
#48 Comment from Ro
Time: November 22, 2007, 1:27 am
I had fun reading all the guy’s responses to this.
C’mon now, is your manly pride so cheap as to be shaken by a measly hello kitty condom (of all things)?
#49 Comment from Molly
Time: November 23, 2007, 5:15 pm
Hello Kitty Hell is just wrong!!! Hello Kitty should be reconized in a sweet way!!!:-I AM OUTRAGED!!!!
#50 Comment from brenda
Time: November 23, 2007, 8:29 pm
pimping
who the hell would use hello kitty condoms that is so nasty
#51 Comment from brenda
Time: November 23, 2007, 8:34 pm
hello kitty is just thinking wrong I think of hellokitty as a sweet little kitty!!!I am OUTRAGED
#52 Comment from k
Time: November 24, 2007, 12:15 am
When my bayfriend found about these he wanted to get them, not me.
#53 Comment from k
Time: November 24, 2007, 12:27 am
Wow I can’t spell for crap, let me yet again. When my boyfriend found out about these he demanded we get some.
#54 Comment from WTF
Time: November 24, 2007, 10:16 am
O.o you’re getting sent to the couch for refusing to put HK on your happy place? That’s just wrong.
All you people saying he should wear it- bugger off. What if someone told you to wear transformer-print lingerie or something?
#55 Comment from Lici
Time: November 24, 2007, 8:40 pm
Wow… I like Hello Kitty, but DAMN DUDE! Next they’ll have a Hello Kitty Marilyn Manson doll….
Damn! I just gave Sanrio an idea….
#56 Comment from k
Time: November 24, 2007, 8:41 pm
Where can I get transformer lingerie?!! I’d totally wear that! Good idea.
#57 Comment from ck
Time: November 24, 2007, 9:11 pm
Lici- there is a hk Jason doll. Try a googl image search for it. It’s cutie it’s hk with blood on her face holding a pink chain saw.
#58 Comment from Lici
Time: November 25, 2007, 8:55 am
Yeah, I’ve seen the Jason doll, but I’ just saying… MANSON doll? That’d be horrible…
#59 Comment from Yuki
Time: November 26, 2007, 12:07 am
next we need hello kitty anal beads, and hello kitty shaped birth control! haha
#60 Pingback from Hello Kitty Hell « Hopefully So
Time: November 26, 2007, 8:51 pm
[...] knew they had Hello Kitty condoms and [...]
#61 Comment from Susan
Time: November 28, 2007, 12:56 pm
Okay, that’s creepy. I mean, Hello Kitty is a creepy and evil thing, we all know that, but Hello Kitty condoms? That’s freaky.
I know, and you know, that Hello Kitty is planning on taking over the world. And now she got condoms. Isn’t that a way to stop Hello Kitty fanatics producing new Hello Kitty fanatics?
Btw: I found something quite disturbing the other day, in a small, small shop in this small, small place I live: Hello Kitty Pom-Pom danglers. This is a fuzzy ball of the colour pink or baby blue, with Hello Kitty’s face on.
#62 Comment from 90210
Time: December 15, 2007, 11:29 am
They should make Transformer Condoms. You want to see something thats “more than Meets the eye” when it comes to that sort of thing.
#63 Comment from Gabrianna
Time: December 18, 2007, 9:16 am
haha!!
those are adorible!!
and where do u get them again??!?
XD
#64 Comment from Random Chick
Time: December 30, 2007, 1:37 am
Oh god that is disgusting. XDDD If I ever saw one of those things anywhere near me, my friends, or even my house, I would kick the ass of whoever brought so close to them. It almost seems like Japan is finally coming out and saying it; hey, you like Hello Kitty, kids? Like Japan? Well come on over and pair up! Boy and girl, boy and boy, whatever you like; they’re /candy flavored! =^w^=
#65 Pingback from Hello Kitty Seed Art – Hello Kitty Hell
Time: January 4, 2008, 7:30 pm
[...] assumption is bound to become reality in the near future (remember that Hello Kitty cheese – the awful truth was fulfilled there too) which pretty much sums up another day in Hello Kitty [...]
#66 Comment from Wendyscat
Time: January 5, 2008, 3:39 am
Yes, think of it in HKH and Sanrio will follow!
Safe sex message – er,good.
#67 Comment from Mhkitty
Time: January 30, 2008, 10:03 am
Cripes!
God Almighty what WILL they think of next?????
I know, HK pregnancy tests or HK yeast infection treatment its! EWEEEEEEE!!!!
#68 Comment from tay tay
Time: February 13, 2008, 10:47 am
would you want a little girl to want to get them lollypops????5 year olds having sex…nice..
#69 Comment from RSKS
Time: February 14, 2008, 11:36 am
hmmmm….i wonder if darlene buys these buy the crateful, she probably doesn’t need any, i’m pretty sure shes single if she spends all her time on here just to complain about someones opinon.
#70 Comment from val
Time: February 15, 2008, 10:12 pm
meow
#71 Comment from cenovis
Time: May 6, 2008, 11:21 pm
Bwahahaha! Oh dear GOD, let them be candy flavored. Yes, I would buy these. Would my husband wear them? Maybe. He’d probably find it funny.
#72 Comment from PandaLover
Time: July 4, 2008, 2:31 pm
I THINK IVE SEEN ONE OF THOSE!
=O
#73 Comment from munkey
Time: August 1, 2008, 1:26 pm
WHERE CAN I FIND THESE? btw, a girl wearing transformers lingerie would be amazingly sexy.
#74 Comment from Anna
Time: October 25, 2008, 1:31 am
until someone provides a link from which i can actually buy these hello kitty condoms i will take this for yet another internet-myth.
#75 Comment from jasmin
Time: December 12, 2008, 1:00 pm
hehehe i wanna buy some of these to sell em to some ppl i know …by the way
#76 Comment from Mandy
Time: March 14, 2009, 6:01 pm
OMFG!!! I want them..LMAO.. There are awesome! Who wouldn’t want to see that or want that! Where would one get these at????
#77 Comment from kelly
Time: March 19, 2009, 7:30 am
why…does your list of messed up things not include anywhere the fact that they’re presented as lollipops…?
#78 Comment from Clarie
Time: April 3, 2009, 7:18 am
Hello Kitty wants to make sure you practice safe sex! 8D
D’aww. *kicks HK* Thanks for making children more curious about sex! >= /
#79 Comment from JThique
Time: April 20, 2009, 12:23 pm
Maybe she’ll like to put hello kitty in her mouth?
#80 Pingback from Hello Kitty Condom Keeper – Hello Kitty Hell
Time: June 25, 2009, 11:34 am
[...] really shouldn’t come as a surprise considering that there are Hello Kitty condoms that there is a Hello Kitty place to keep those condoms safe: The Hello Kitty condom [...]
#81 Comment from roro
Time: June 30, 2009, 10:10 pm
where can i buy these!!!!!!
#82 Comment from bleh
Time: July 21, 2009, 11:18 pm
Darlene, stop acting like Hello Kitty is some kind of feminist achievement! Dozens of papers have been written about how lousy a role model she is for women, and specifically girls. (ever thought about how she’s cute, but she doesn’t have a mouth, implying that she can’t speak for herself?) That may be extreme, but the point is, SHE ISN’T A FEMINIST ICON!
#83 Comment from Salem
Time: September 13, 2009, 8:24 pm
Are they free size? I need one
#84 Comment from Mandarin Kitten
Time: September 25, 2009, 4:30 pm
yum… just think of having sex in your mouth!
that’s just weird…
#85 Comment from Kaitlyn
Time: November 27, 2009, 7:28 pm
i agree with brenda. even though i love hello kitty. keep on sending pics but of cute appropriate items. and i’m a darlene twin. absolutely obsessed! i even have hello kitty shaped easter eggs and chap-stick!
#86 Comment from Fredmeister
Time: January 23, 2010, 11:53 pm
hahah just hilarious! i can imagine my gf laugh her ass off if i would surprise her with a kitty dick! xD
gonna buy my 1st and only kitty thingy
#87 Comment from Max
Time: February 4, 2010, 1:50 am
where can i order them?
Write a comment