Condoms


You knew that they would show up eventually, but who knew they would be in the form of lollipops? Hello Kitty condoms:

Hello Kitty condoms

These are a quite disturbing development for reasons that should be obvious to anyone, but since Hello Kitty fanatics don’t usually follow the rules when it comes to the obvious, I will expound on this a bit.

1. The last place I want to see Hello Kitty when I look down is there. In fact, just the thought of something like that occurring is sending shivers down my spine…

2. While putting anything on related to Hello Kitty goes against my better judgement, putting on something that’s Hello Kitty there goes well beyond any Hello Kitty Hell I can even imagine.

3. I really can’t think of anything that would be quite as unmanly as having your significant other compliment how cute “it” looks with a Hello Kitty condom wrapped around it (which is the likely reaction of a Hello Kitty fanatic).

4. When a guy puts a condom on, he pretty much has a single thought on his mind. This does not include putting on different Hello Kitty condoms as if it were a fashion show.

5. Having to stop multiple times in the middle of doing it because the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to see “how cute it is” again and again pretty much would take the joy and pleasure out of the evening.

6. Being sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag because I wasn’t enthusiastic enough about this newest Hello Kitty item would pretty much top off the way I would expect the evening to end.

As you can see, the existence of Hello Kitty condoms is pretty much a nightmare for any guy that has a relationship with a Hello Kitty fanatic and something that definitely is going to cause the fires in Hello Kitty Hell to reach new levels…

Sent in by betty who deserves punishment far worse than even I can imagine, for even thinking that showing my wife the existence of these could in any way be a good idea…

Update: More Hello Kitty condoms:

Hello Kitty condom

Sent in by Aurora

Flavored condoms:

hello kitty flavored condoms

Hello Kitty lubricated condoms

Sent in by Dave

This entry was posted in Health, Sex, Strange and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

104 Responses to Condoms

  1. brenda says:

    hello kitty is just thinking wrong I think of hellokitty as a sweet little kitty!!!I am OUTRAGED

  2. k says:

    When my bayfriend found about these he wanted to get them, not me.

  3. k says:

    Wow I can’t spell for crap, let me yet again. When my boyfriend found out about these he demanded we get some.

  4. WTF says:

    O.o you’re getting sent to the couch for refusing to put HK on your happy place? That’s just wrong.

    All you people saying he should wear it- bugger off. What if someone told you to wear transformer-print lingerie or something?

    • dd says:

      To that old comment up there, I would totally rock some transformer-print lingerie for myself and if he doesn’t like it oh well. x3

  5. Lici says:

    Wow… I like Hello Kitty, but DAMN DUDE! Next they’ll have a Hello Kitty Marilyn Manson doll….

    Damn! I just gave Sanrio an idea….

  6. k says:

    Where can I get transformer lingerie?!! I’d totally wear that! Good idea.

  7. ck says:

    Lici- there is a hk Jason doll. Try a googl image search for it. It’s cutie it’s hk with blood on her face holding a pink chain saw.

  8. Lici says:

    Yeah, I’ve seen the Jason doll, but I’ just saying… MANSON doll? That’d be horrible…

  9. Yuki says:

    next we need hello kitty anal beads, and hello kitty shaped birth control! haha

  10. Pingback: Hello Kitty Hell « Hopefully So

  11. Susan says:

    Okay, that’s creepy. I mean, Hello Kitty is a creepy and evil thing, we all know that, but Hello Kitty condoms? That’s freaky.
    I know, and you know, that Hello Kitty is planning on taking over the world. And now she got condoms. Isn’t that a way to stop Hello Kitty fanatics producing new Hello Kitty fanatics?

    Btw: I found something quite disturbing the other day, in a small, small shop in this small, small place I live: Hello Kitty Pom-Pom danglers. This is a fuzzy ball of the colour pink or baby blue, with Hello Kitty’s face on.

  12. 90210 says:

    They should make Transformer Condoms. You want to see something thats “more than Meets the eye” when it comes to that sort of thing.

  13. Gabrianna says:

    haha!!
    those are adorible!!
    and where do u get them again??!?

    XD

  14. Random Chick says:

    Oh god that is disgusting. XDDD If I ever saw one of those things anywhere near me, my friends, or even my house, I would kick the ass of whoever brought so close to them. It almost seems like Japan is finally coming out and saying it; hey, you like Hello Kitty, kids? Like Japan? Well come on over and pair up! Boy and girl, boy and boy, whatever you like; they’re /candy flavored! =^w^=

  15. Pingback: Hello Kitty Seed Art - Hello Kitty Hell

  16. Wendyscat says:

    Yes, think of it in HKH and Sanrio will follow!
    Safe sex message – er,good.

  17. Mhkitty says:

    Cripes!
    God Almighty what WILL they think of next?????
    I know, HK pregnancy tests or HK yeast infection treatment its! EWEEEEEEE!!!!

  18. tay tay says:

    would you want a little girl to want to get them lollypops????5 year olds having sex…nice..

  19. RSKS says:

    hmmmm….i wonder if darlene buys these buy the crateful, she probably doesn’t need any, i’m pretty sure shes single if she spends all her time on here just to complain about someones opinon.

  20. cenovis says:

    Bwahahaha! Oh dear GOD, let them be candy flavored. Yes, I would buy these. Would my husband wear them? Maybe. He’d probably find it funny.

  21. PandaLover says:

    I THINK IVE SEEN ONE OF THOSE!
    =O

  22. munkey says:

    WHERE CAN I FIND THESE? btw, a girl wearing transformers lingerie would be amazingly sexy.

  23. Anna says:

    until someone provides a link from which i can actually buy these hello kitty condoms i will take this for yet another internet-myth.

    • thierry says:

      I am no myth.
      I am Hello Kitty in person.
      Thou shalt be turned into à dog with no mouth until thou repent and send me about one zillion dollars yet.

  24. jasmin says:

    hehehe i wanna buy some of these to sell em to some ppl i know …by the way

  25. Mandy says:

    OMFG!!! I want them..LMAO.. There are awesome! Who wouldn’t want to see that or want that! Where would one get these at????

  26. kelly says:

    why…does your list of messed up things not include anywhere the fact that they’re presented as lollipops…?

  27. Clarie says:

    Hello Kitty wants to make sure you practice safe sex! 8D

    D’aww. *kicks HK* Thanks for making children more curious about sex! >= /

  28. JThique says:

    Maybe she’ll like to put hello kitty in her mouth?

  29. Pingback: Hello Kitty Condom Keeper - Hello Kitty Hell

  30. roro says:

    where can i buy these!!!!!!

  31. bleh says:

    Darlene, stop acting like Hello Kitty is some kind of feminist achievement! Dozens of papers have been written about how lousy a role model she is for women, and specifically girls. (ever thought about how she’s cute, but she doesn’t have a mouth, implying that she can’t speak for herself?) That may be extreme, but the point is, SHE ISN’T A FEMINIST ICON!

  32. Salem says:

    Are they free size? I need one :D

  33. Mandarin Kitten says:

    yum… just think of having sex in your mouth!
    :P that’s just weird…

  34. Kaitlyn says:

    i agree with brenda. even though i love hello kitty. keep on sending pics but of cute appropriate items. and i’m a darlene twin. absolutely obsessed! i even have hello kitty shaped easter eggs and chap-stick!

  35. Fredmeister says:

    hahah just hilarious! i can imagine my gf laugh her ass off if i would surprise her with a kitty dick! xD

    gonna buy my 1st and only kitty thingy

  36. Max says:

    where can i order them?

  37. Pingback: Hello Kitty Fanatic Kid Hell - Hello Kitty Hell

  38. svrljo says:

    where can i buy this??

  39. Amyjah says:

    they r soo cool i had alil boy by diz condoms

  40. just me says:

    I would be laughing too hard to have sex if my boyfriend wore a Hello Kitty Condom. Plus I bet theyre made for show only and not for actually use :P

  41. Kimochi SwagGirl says:

    OMG – I agree with ‘just me’ – has anyone tested their efficacy???? And this from a self-proclaimed Hello Kitty lover!!! ROFL

  42. Samantha MurderXx says:

    Ohh mmiiee giiee!!!
    Where do they sell thoses!!!??? I want them sooo bad :DDD

  43. gregor says:

    Kitting aside (haha), what happened to my previous noncommercial contributions ? You censors.
    BTW, I still am an avid seeker of authentic HK condoms. Is there anybody out there ?
    (Please look up “moderator” in any modern English-American thesaurus ;-)

  44. gregor says:

    Well, I’d be.
    I did try up some of those “HK condoms”, and I am pleased to announce the birth of 2 cute female twins, with the HK barcode printed on their face.
    1. Beware: HK condoms may not work !
    2. If not, you’ll be plagued forever with a couple of girls or so, screaming out LOUUUUUD in WalMarts for HK products.
    Thou shalt not use Hello Kitty Condoms ;-)

  45. summer says:

    i don’t see this posted already… you can buy this on ebay….

  46. living in kitty hell says:

    i have never been so happy to be deathly allergic to latex…my boyfriend would want this so bad…

  47. Jade says:

    This does not seem worse to me than political condoms.

  48. mad3fr0mbr0k3nparts says:

    what does the head of these look like is it normal or shaped like hello kitty?

  49. Whitewing says:

    Rule 34: Not even Hello Kitty is safe.

    P.s: Did you hear something get smashed? That was my childhood. :(

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