Condoms

You knew that they would show up eventually, but who knew they would be in the form of lollipops? Hello Kitty condoms:

Hello Kitty condoms

These are a quite disturbing development for reasons that should be obvious to anyone, but since Hello Kitty fanatics don’t usually follow the rules when it comes to the obvious, I will expound on this a bit.

1. The last place I want to see Hello Kitty when I look down is there. In fact, just the thought of something like that occurring is sending shivers down my spine…

2. While putting anything on related to Hello Kitty goes against my better judgement, putting on something that’s Hello Kitty there goes well beyond any Hello Kitty Hell I can even imagine.

3. I really can’t think of anything that would be quite as unmanly as having your significant other compliment how cute “it” looks with a Hello Kitty condom wrapped around it (which is the likely reaction of a Hello Kitty fanatic).

4. When a guy puts a condom on, he pretty much has a single thought on his mind. This does not include putting on different Hello Kitty condoms as if it were a fashion show.

5. Having to stop multiple times in the middle of doing it because the Hello Kitty fanatic wants to see “how cute it is” again and again pretty much would take the joy and pleasure out of the evening.

6. Being sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag because I wasn’t enthusiastic enough about this newest Hello Kitty item would pretty much top off the way I would expect the evening to end.

As you can see, the existence of Hello Kitty condoms is pretty much a nightmare for any guy that has a relationship with a Hello Kitty fanatic and something that definitely is going to cause the fires in Hello Kitty Hell to reach new levels…

Sent in by betty who deserves punishment far worse than even I can imagine, for even thinking that showing my wife the existence of these could in any way be a good idea…

Update: More Hello Kitty condoms:

Hello Kitty condom

Sent in by Aurora

Flavored condoms:

hello kitty flavored condoms

Hello Kitty lubricated condoms

Sent in by Dave

104 thoughts on “Condoms

  1. O.o you’re getting sent to the couch for refusing to put HK on your happy place? That’s just wrong.

    All you people saying he should wear it- bugger off. What if someone told you to wear transformer-print lingerie or something?

    • To that old comment up there, I would totally rock some transformer-print lingerie for myself and if he doesn’t like it oh well. x3

  2. Wow… I like Hello Kitty, but DAMN DUDE! Next they’ll have a Hello Kitty Marilyn Manson doll….

    Damn! I just gave Sanrio an idea….

  3. Lici- there is a hk Jason doll. Try a googl image search for it. It’s cutie it’s hk with blood on her face holding a pink chain saw.

  4. Okay, that’s creepy. I mean, Hello Kitty is a creepy and evil thing, we all know that, but Hello Kitty condoms? That’s freaky.
    I know, and you know, that Hello Kitty is planning on taking over the world. And now she got condoms. Isn’t that a way to stop Hello Kitty fanatics producing new Hello Kitty fanatics?

    Btw: I found something quite disturbing the other day, in a small, small shop in this small, small place I live: Hello Kitty Pom-Pom danglers. This is a fuzzy ball of the colour pink or baby blue, with Hello Kitty’s face on.

  5. They should make Transformer Condoms. You want to see something thats “more than Meets the eye” when it comes to that sort of thing.

  6. Oh god that is disgusting. XDDD If I ever saw one of those things anywhere near me, my friends, or even my house, I would kick the ass of whoever brought so close to them. It almost seems like Japan is finally coming out and saying it; hey, you like Hello Kitty, kids? Like Japan? Well come on over and pair up! Boy and girl, boy and boy, whatever you like; they’re /candy flavored! =^w^=

  7. Cripes!
    God Almighty what WILL they think of next?????
    I know, HK pregnancy tests or HK yeast infection treatment its! EWEEEEEEE!!!!

  8. hmmmm….i wonder if darlene buys these buy the crateful, she probably doesn’t need any, i’m pretty sure shes single if she spends all her time on here just to complain about someones opinon.

  9. Bwahahaha! Oh dear GOD, let them be candy flavored. Yes, I would buy these. Would my husband wear them? Maybe. He’d probably find it funny.

  10. until someone provides a link from which i can actually buy these hello kitty condoms i will take this for yet another internet-myth.

    • I am no myth.
      I am Hello Kitty in person.
      Thou shalt be turned into à dog with no mouth until thou repent and send me about one zillion dollars yet.

  11. OMFG!!! I want them..LMAO.. There are awesome! Who wouldn’t want to see that or want that! Where would one get these at????

  12. Hello Kitty wants to make sure you practice safe sex! 8D

    D’aww. *kicks HK* Thanks for making children more curious about sex! >= /

  13. Darlene, stop acting like Hello Kitty is some kind of feminist achievement! Dozens of papers have been written about how lousy a role model she is for women, and specifically girls. (ever thought about how she’s cute, but she doesn’t have a mouth, implying that she can’t speak for herself?) That may be extreme, but the point is, SHE ISN’T A FEMINIST ICON!

  14. i agree with brenda. even though i love hello kitty. keep on sending pics but of cute appropriate items. and i’m a darlene twin. absolutely obsessed! i even have hello kitty shaped easter eggs and chap-stick!

  15. hahah just hilarious! i can imagine my gf laugh her ass off if i would surprise her with a kitty dick! xD

    gonna buy my 1st and only kitty thingy

  16. I would be laughing too hard to have sex if my boyfriend wore a Hello Kitty Condom. Plus I bet theyre made for show only and not for actually use :P

  17. OMG – I agree with ‘just me’ – has anyone tested their efficacy???? And this from a self-proclaimed Hello Kitty lover!!! ROFL

  18. Kitting aside (haha), what happened to my previous noncommercial contributions ? You censors.
    BTW, I still am an avid seeker of authentic HK condoms. Is there anybody out there ?
    (Please look up “moderator” in any modern English-American thesaurus ;-)

  19. Well, I’d be.
    I did try up some of those “HK condoms”, and I am pleased to announce the birth of 2 cute female twins, with the HK barcode printed on their face.
    1. Beware: HK condoms may not work !
    2. If not, you’ll be plagued forever with a couple of girls or so, screaming out LOUUUUUD in WalMarts for HK products.
    Thou shalt not use Hello Kitty Condoms ;-)

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