Hello Kitty Sunday Mail


A few of the emails I have received over the past few weeks:

Hello,

I must say that when I came along and found your site I felt like a happy schoolgirl on a sunny day! I have been happily married to my high school sweetheart for three years. Unknown to me during the time we were dating I was unaware of my wife’s freakish obsession with Hello Kitty. The nightmare began on our wedding night when we were opening our wedding gifts that consistent of a Kitty toaster, handle towels, oven mitts and other monstrosities that I cannot mention without me having to evacuate to the bathroom and throwing up my very expensive t-bone dinner. I have explained to her that I think it might be time for her to get a much more grown up hobby. I threw out the idea that we might have couples golf lessons, gym sessions or something that does not include a feline in the mix. We have frequented the fine jewelry stores browsing for the perfect piece just to end up buying her the Kimore Lee Simmons “Hello Kitty” diamond collection. Should I mention that most of the pieces in that collection are $1000.00 or up and let me tell you my wallet felt it that day.

Reading through this forum I feel a little bit better about myself that I’m not the only Husband here that feels very hostile towards a very imaginary character. I know that every time that I wake up in the morning to eat some jam and toast I proceed to go to the toaster to see a white feline with her devilish eyes and her every sinister smile as if she saying to me “Even after you are gone and no one will remember you I will still bring smiles to grown woman every where.” I then take my burnt toast with a Hello Kitty imprint on it and then proceed to the couch, which is laced with overstuffed Hello Kitty pillows and eat my breakfast in a trance as if to wonder if our lives will ever be free of this pest lie little feline they call Hello Kitty — CB

Only three years? The worst — and yes, it will get much, much worse — is yet to come…

I am both happy and upset to have found your site. One of my kitty obsessed co-workers showed this sight pointing out that it was the most complete collection of hello kitty stuff. To find out that it was a hello kitty hate sight filled my heart with joy.

I work in a rather large gay night club. I’m only one of two heterosexual men working there. I’m known as DJ Blakkat, or at least was. My coworkers started buying me Gothic and punk hello kitty items. No big deal — just a few plush dolls kinda of cute I thought. Well, as time moved on, they shortened my name to DJ Kitty. They started buying me more and more hello kitty things each one more bizarre than the last. Now I live in hello kitty hell. Even my boss has had custom hello kitty lenses ordered for two of my trac-spots!

I must say that it hasn’t been all bad. It has gotten me laid more than the straight guy in a gay bar thing. Also there are many appliances that I could not afford on my budget such as the imported lcd TV that were bought for me, not a dime out of my pocket, all I have to do is live with that damn cat.

I’ll be reading your site regularly. It’s good to know there are others that are forced into having every thing they own covered with that damn cat! Anotherone in HK Hell — DJ Blakkat

If you can even think of saying “I must say that it hasn’t been all bad,” you still have absolutely no idea what Hello Kitty Hell is…

Hi,

Recently my life has become hello kitty hell. My friend talks of nothing else she has t-shirts jewellery key ring, pencil case stationary and the list goes on and is unfortunately expanding. It’s only a matter of time before she has the theme song as her ringtone!!!

In retaliation I have had 2 start a small local hate club against the satanic hello kitty who plans to use her brainwashed followers to take over our world and make this universe EVEN MORE of a hello kitty hell. After founding the HKHK (Hello Kitty Hate Klub) I read your blog and see that u also live in a hello kitty hell,.

Is there any way to save my friend from the hell kitty’s corruption or is she doomed to spend her eternity as part of this demonic cult????

The question you should be asking (and be far more afraid of) is whether you, as her friend, are doomed to live her Hello Kitty Hell as well…

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18 Responses to Hello Kitty Sunday Mail

  1. MizzJ says:

    Love your blog, always hilarious and “enlightening” to see what new HK stuff is out there. I cannot believe that guy got bought a LCD tv for free! Maybe you should put that on your xmas list for you wife to buy ;)

  2. Alex says:

    Now the darlene whine will claim you made those letters up as no one could hate HK.

    darlene, when will Sanrio make the straitjacket that can hold you?

  3. Welcome to the Recovery Room. Let the healing begin!

  4. Jesse says:

    Ha ha. Only Hello Kitty I’m exposed to, is the hello kitty charm attached to my best friends cell phone.

  5. Nichi says:

    weep for those poor souls.

    *sobs*

  6. Kitteh!! says:

    Is it time to create the “Hello Kitty Deprogramming Squad” (along the same lines as religious cult deprogramming)? ;)

  7. mhkitty says:

    I’m glad DJ Blakkat could look on the brightside of things…

    But I have a very bad feeling he’ll wind up hooking up with a HK fanatic and wind up in Hello Kitty Hell for the rest of his life…
    And I’m sure Darlene will find a way to blame him for it for using the feline to get laid :)

  8. DJ Blakkat says:

    Darlene can blame me for using Hello Kitty to get laid…….I do it all the time. :)

  9. brenda says:

    how can you marry someone who has an extreme hello kitty fetish and not realize- should you have gotten married in the first place? I mean if you dont know that the person you love has a problem with pink kitties you cant know them very well…….

  10. HKPepper says:

    BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA for Hello Kitty haters! You will never get rid of us!!!!!!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

  11. darlene says:

    What a pathetic blog writer you are. People spend time and effort writing to you and you make snide and disrespectful comments in return. If you keep this up you aren’t going to have any readers.

  12. mhkitty says:

    I’ll stay a reader, and I’m sure everyone else, even Darlene despite what she’s says, will be too ;)

  13. Kitteh!! says:

    Seconded, despite Darlene.

  14. Taz says:

    I feel deeply for your plight.. though I dont live in HK hell I live in disney Princess hell.. the thought is pretty much the same.. disgustingly sweet cutesy crap… It does make me feel better to know I am not the only one suffering the fate of hell.. beware the HK toothpaste btw.. which my darling 5 year old daughter discovered.. thus far.. doing pretty good to keep her away from HK.. I know it wont last much longer..

    To all of you.. keep your heads up.. and if you have a choice in the matter.. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!

    I also wonder if darlene has nothing better to do than .. never mind.. hello kitty fanatic.. nuff said..

  15. mhkitty says:

    Here is goes again: What Darlene really means…

    “What a terrifc blog writer you are. People spend time and effort writing to you and you make whitty and awe-inspiring comments in return. If you keep this up you are going to have millions of readers.”

    I’m going to LOVE doing this ;)

  16. LASIANIGA says:

    I LOVE HELLO KITTY

  17. taelor says:

    i have turned many people on to ur website, and we all LOVE the way we have the like good versus evil thing going, hello kitty obssesors vs. the ones like you who secretly fantasize hello kitty on fire, it’s a good source of entertainment…. (fire throwers are the good ones!!!)

  18. eri says:

    I live in stitch hell. :(

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