Hello Kitty Mosquito Repellent Patch


The hot and humid days of summer are now in full force in Japan and that means having to deal with all the lovely mosquitoes. If you decide to go on a picnic and hike like we did this past weekend, it makes sense to take mosquito repellent with you. To my regret, I made the amateurish assumption that when I asked my wife to pack the mosquito repellent that it would be normal spray or cream mosquito repellent. I should have known better living in Hello Kitty Hell that assuming is always a bad thing to do. Thus, I was introduced to the Hello Kitty mosquito repellent patch:

Hello Kitty mosquito repellant patch

Hello Kitty mosquito patch

When I asked for the mosquito repellent and my wife handed me the patches, my first thought was that Sanrio had actually started to make Hello Kitty nicotine patches. As my wife encouraged me to put one on, all I could think was that a man wearing a Hello Kitty patch for any reason ensures that “cool” and his name will never be uttered in the same sentence in a positive way.

Of course, the real question was what exactly was in the patches and did the patches actually work? I’m making the educated guess that mosquitoes take one look at the patch and figure that you veins must be full of pure Hello Kitty sugar (or possibly Hello Kitty cocaine) and you are to be avoided at all costs. I think it’s a pretty telling sign when bugs don’t even like you…

In the end I decided that no matter how effective the patch may be, the truth was that coming down with any of the multitude of diseases that mosquitoes carry seemed a lot less painful than actually having to be seen wearing something like that around. Of course, the minor detail that I didn’t want to actually wear one and was willing to take my chances has little effect on the hello Kitty fanatic who promptly slapped on on my arm and confirmed exactly what I had feared — when people see a 6 foot plus foreign man walking around in Japan with a Hello Kitty mosquito patch on his arm, they pretty much assume he is a crazy ax murderer. The sad truth is, it was just another typical day in Hello Kitty Hell…

Sent in by several readers who should all have to strip off all their clothes and spend a few hours inside a mosquito sanctuary for giving my wife the idea that buying these would be a good idea…

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44 Responses to Hello Kitty Mosquito Repellent Patch

  1. Lucy says:

    so….. how’s malaria treating you now?

  2. darlene says:

    Your wife and Hello Kitty want to protect you and make sure you don’t get a disease from mosquitoes and all you can do is complain. This shows what an ungrateful husband you are.

    It also shows that you have no concept of what it is to be a man. Instead of worrying about what other people think, you should proudly support your wife. Only someone who fears his own sexual identity would be afraid to wear this. It shows that you have a lot of issues that you are unwilling to confront and this prevents you from being a man.

    Hello Kitty could teach you a thing or two on what a real man is.

  3. Eric says:

    I wonder if Hello kitty wears hello kitty flea patches?

  4. bear_1 says:

    Darlene, if you won’t go the hell away, could you at least say something NEW? We’re sick of hearing you go on and on about how HKH is a horrible and insecure man, and HK is a god and everyone loves her. Obviously, not everyone loves her, or there wouldn’t be so damn many people who like this blog!

    And HKH, you’re right, I’d rather face the mosquitoes than have to wear those awful things.

  5. Alex says:

    Newsflash! darlene is a moron. Film at 11.

  6. Cyn says:

    Ok I come from a mosquito inferno where practically every disease can be transmitted by them, and there is no way I would trust my life with a HK mosquito patch! Especially since those bugs seem to be able to locate the only inch I forgot to cover and bite away, I doubt this stupid thing actually works!

  7. Kitteh!! says:

    Do the patches actually have to be visible? Actually effective anti-insect products work by emitting odours and/or pheromones that repel the insects.

  8. Jaime says:

    i wonder how many you have to wear for it to be effective? i actually think this a cool product, but i’m one of those people who are neurotic about bugs.

  9. ghost says:

    have you ever actually looked at a product your wife came home and your mind just broke you all you could say is “you have got to be effing kidding me”? because thats all i could say to this, theres no way in hell i’d wear that, its a freaking sticker, and any chemicals that come off it and seep into my blood, i don’t want! theres no possible way that thing can work, plus, you’d look like an idiot. seriously, this would be the breaking point for me, good freaking gads

  10. Catherine says:

    What is the big deal. She loves HK. Why did you marry her if it bothers you so much? If she were really a HK fanatic as you call her you would have known from day one and you would have ran for the hills. I think she is a poser. She jumped on the HK band wagon when HK hit the “star” scene. I think you should stop whining about it and get over yourself. You have a bigger problem on your hands being married to a poser.

  11. Kitteh!! says:

    Catherine, have you ever considered a career in marriage guidance? ;)

  12. Puppy says:

    @ Catherine: actually Mr. HKH had said somewhere in his blog that his wife wasn’t like this before when he married her.

    And Mr. HKH I think you’re cool for putting up with all you’re wife’s HK nonsense ;)

  13. moriyah says:

    @Cathrine… please go away and don’t turn in to another Darlene.

    @Darlene… you’re mental.

    @HKH…screw the bull, you need to run for the hills for forever live emasculated.

    If it were the patch or nothing… bring on the malaria!

  14. Rache says:

    I would LOVE to wear those, Darlene.

  15. andophiroxia says:

    Well, you could always put in it the forbidden zone, where your wife won’t WANT you to put it.

    Catherine, read his story and just see what happened. She didn’t get that bad until she started her biz. There’s links of it somewhere.

    Too bad there isn’t a DIRECT link to an HK axe murderer save for that one about that poor woman that got dismembered and stuffed into a HK doll.

  16. Sierradragon says:

    I hope your wife has better luck then you since I doubt those things are going to keep her from getting bitten. Most of the time, if it isn’t a cream or spray, it won’t work.

  17. Cuddle Bunny says:

    I’ve noticed that many of your Hello Kitty problems would be solved if you were more self sufficient.

    This post, and a recent toothpick post, showed that the trouble came up when you asked your wife for something. I’ve noted this in other posts as well.

    Why don’t you take more responsibility, pack your own repellent and go to the kitchen or cashier for your own toothpicks?

    Of course, that would ruin the fun for the rest of us, seeing the newest Hello Kitty product and how it has annoyed you. :)

  18. mhkitty says:

    Okay so I thought it would be funny… and I’d gladly run around naked ;)
    I’ve been to French Guiana…which is crazy with malaria carrying mosquitoes… I don’t think I’d be trusting those little patches… we have to use use full out military proof bug repellant, and clothing spray which we must let dry before we put the clothes on, otherwise it burns the skin….sounds fun, right?

    But hey, I just like sending you pictures of useless crap just to see what you’ll say!

    Anyway, I was going to spoof darlene’s reply but it sounds so much like some of her other comments I didn’t want to bother…and ‘poser’? Seriously, does anyone actually use that word anymore…what are we? Mallrats?
    (Te he he…that was a good movie… back in 1993…)

  19. moriyah says:

    @mhkitty (offtopic) Mallrats will forever be an awesome movie.

    Stinkpalm. Enough said.

  20. Heather says:

    okay, i am a mosquito magnet and i can tell you the patches rarely work… and although i like hk (sometimes depends on the product) i would never spend money on these!

  21. Catherine says:

    If you say she didn’t get that bad until she started her own business. Mr. HK should step it up so she doesn’t have to work anymore. And, trust me from what I’ve read there couldn’t be another Darlene.

  22. mhkitty says:

    Um, Catherine, news flash, some people have eBay stores as a hobby, not ‘just’ to make money…it’s a good way to get products to other areas of the world that wouldn’t normally see a certain type of product…
    Not being harsh, just making a statement…

  23. andophiroxia says:

    Dude, she just wanted a profitable hobby. Don’t make it out he was lying on his butt drinking American Lager beers and scratching his tummy. She just wanted to do something profitable and useful. It wasn’t like they were strapped for cash.

  24. Catherine says:

    Oh Please…. MHK if the other parts of the world get eBay then they can get whatever else they may need from the internet. They don’t need Mrs. HK “hobby” to help them along. I’m not being harsh either.

  25. andophiroxia says:

    That’s what I’m saying she has an Ebay store or something like it.

    Didn’t you even bother reading the backstory? That’s what makes this site even funnier.

    But then if he pisses you off that much you can just “gasp” not come back here and look at the content.

  26. Catherine says:

    The back story bored me.. He doesn’t piss me off, I just can’t get over how obsessed he is about whining about his wife and her HK “issues”. I wonder how tall this man is. Sounds like he has other issues as well.

  27. andophiroxia says:

    Well you got some elements of the backstory wrong, so you obviously didn’t pay attention to it.

    But then how you’ve attacked him belies your anger and wondering how ‘tall’ he is and what other ‘issues’ he has makes me wonder about what anger you have about men and their idiosyncrasies.

    Jesus, it’s just about HK, an inanimate Japanese girly icon that’s slathered across all there is in existence. I’ve seen some pretty silly crap on this site that I would NEVER think that HK would ever grace her face on and that makes me freaking LAUGH. I LOVE this site on how it MAKES ME LAUGH, like many of the other people here do.

    Please keep in context that how he talks is in either bemused irritation and/or irritated bemusement.

  28. Acton says:

    Darlene
    I think your attempt to emasculate HKH is about as amusing and disturbing as MR and Miss HKH obsessions.

    The truth is I do not know I struggle with this issue yes one man wearing HK gear will caste doubt on masculinity I admit my own fixation with Hello Kitty within limits.* I do have an (weak) alibi to protect my maleness that I keep as another part of being a furry lifestyler.

    I do find this constant push of new Hello Kitty products disturbing. I doubt this product will protect a person from mosquitoes and ridicule.

    * adding hello Kitty plushies to my plush and bear collection and replaced my favorite bear to cuddle with.

  29. moriyah says:

    CATHERINE=TROLL

    Do not feed the trolls. It only makes them stronger and more vehement during their pitiful opining.

    That aside –

    I absolutely LOVE this blog and sadly the trials and tribulations of Mr. HKH make me giggle… nay laugh out loud in amusement! I certainly don’t wish HKH to have to endure this the rest of his life, but I’m glad that he feels he can share the atrocious obsession his wife has and the effect of said obsession with the rest of us.

    The part that really makes me laugh is all the people that try to defend HK and her evil empire as well as their atrocious obsession with purchasing everything that HK puts on the shelves. Mass consumerism at it’s WORST. Japan certainly has the marketing strategy DOWN.

  30. Ooops. apologies to some of the commenters. Something went screwy when moderating comments from people commenting for the first time and a few accidentally were deleted that shouldn’t have been. If you made a comment and it’s not showing up here, it’s due to my mistake. Very sorry about that.

  31. Rousie says:

    First: Darlene, you are like a freaking zit this site just can’t get rid of!!!

    HEAR YE HEAR YE!!! I’ve come to a conclusion! DArlene must be some highly depressed chic, looking for excuses to say no one loves her (of course no one loves her, hell, we would all wish we could rip her apart, but nevertheless). I think people should stop discusing her stupidity, hoping she might finally slash her wrists…

    And lets face it, she brings the crowds on to HKH just read her dumbass rants, so im guessing she is Mr. HKH’s biggest publicity stunt, whether she is real or not.

  32. HKPepper says:

    HAHAHA HILARIOUS PEOPLE!!! This site really makes my day!

  33. mhkitty says:

    “Do not feed the trolls. It only makes them stronger and more vehement during their pitiful opining. ”

    Ha ha ha ha! Too funny!

  34. Rach says:

    Are we sure these aren’t impregnated with malarial pheromones as opposed to repellent? That would be some mix up at the plant – ‘Sanrio cause malaria outbreak’ etc etc…

  35. andophiroxia says:

    That would be equivalent of rubbing tomatoes on them as well as spinach with warm, raw pork.

    Yummy. XD

  36. sanriobaby says:

    I love HK, but this is just another stupid product to buy for people who don’t have anything better to do with their money.

  37. leftie says:

    HK is a freaking money making machine, capitialisim at its finest. Love HK and all the stupid crap she turns up on cracks me up. Fools and their money are soon parted. I’d pass on this one.

  38. cornflower says:

    paint some red dots on yourself and say the patch didn’t work. don’t forget to scratch.

  39. Misha says:

    Bug spray patches. I love it! Although, I wouldn’t recommend a Hello Kitty patch to any guy regardless. I don’t know any man that would wear one! However, I know many little girls that would love it. It would be a lot less of a struggle then bug spray.

  40. Liz says:

    Well, if they work, I’m sorry, but I really can’t complain… how big are they? If they’re too big, then it may be unreasonable. Another question: do they come in any other design? Like non HK?

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  42. Emmie says:

    Puh-Lease I was thinking don’t you think it is a little odd Sanrio just happened to make a repellent patch so quickly?? Isn’t it soooo obvious that when you where the patch some sort of HK diasese will SSSSSLLLLLOOOWWWLLLYY

  43. Emmie says:

    KILL YOU!!

  44. nancy says:

    Those patches are looking like a good idea right now. I’m getting bitten by mosquitos as I type. I hate Houston.

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