Hello Kitty Skin Meter


You knew that it would eventually have to happen. Having already Hello Kittified virtually every real gadget out there, the evil feline has decided that it’s necessary to take the next logical step in her plot to take over the world — invent random gadgets that make no sense at all, but which she knows thousands of loyal Hello Kitty fans will buy because it has been Hello Kitty branded. There is no other explanation that can be rendered for the Hello Kitty skin analyser:

hello-kitty-skin-analyser

hello-kitty-skin-analyser-1

hello-kitty-skin-analyser-2

So what does this gadget do? Who the hell knows…apparently by pressing it against your face, it is able to directly measure the state of your skin by analyzing your skin’s moisture content, oil content and sun damage. Since this would seem incredibly ridiculous to even someone in an insane asylum, my bet is that it really sends beams of Hello Kitties under your skin to infect you with a Hello Kitty virus that Sanrio has developed to get you to buy more Hello Kitty junk. That, or send huge amounts of electricity into the brain to fry it to the point that you actually think that Hello Kitty is cute.

Even the employees at Sanrio believe they may have taken all this Hello Kitty crap a step too far. Realizing that this gadget doesn’t make any sense at all, it appears that at least one employee had a twinge of conscience and added a clock to it (they call the gadget a “Hello Kitty beauty clock”), so that it actually has one function which makes sense to anyone who isn’t a Hello Kitty fanatic.

Of course, none of this makes any difference to my wife. It’s a cute Hello Kitty gadget which she can add to her collection for a mere $25, use and pretend that somehow Hello Kitty understands how her skin is doing on a daily basis. Or in other words, she has ensured that Hello Kitty Hell continues to get worse on a daily basis…

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42 Responses to Hello Kitty Skin Meter

  1. isabelle says:

    that’s so stupid!
    yay first comment!

  2. darlene says:

    This shows your total lack of understanding of women. Women always want to look beautiful and they worry about their skin. Hello Kitty is helping them to make sure that their skin is in good condition so they can remain beautiful. You should be happy that your wife is concerned about her looks and wants to look beautiful for you. Hello Kitty making this easier is all the better!!

    This skim meter makes perfect sense (you’re the only one that doesn’t get it!), is cute and is something that every woman would want. The only one that needs to have their brain fried is you. Then maybe we could all enjoy this blog without having to hear your ridiculous theories about Hello Kitty trying to take over the world.

  3. kp says:

    haha.i wonder how old this darlene person is?7?hahahahha
    no intelligent woman would want this gadget.saying that just insults the intelligence of the women worldwide. but its funny tho lol

  4. sansicarus says:

    Wow – that’s possibly the stupidest product I’ve ever seen. You’d have to be a nut-job to buy one, with or without Hello Kitty on it.

    Does Sanrio take suggestions? Perhaps, along the lines of this lunacy, they could release a Hello Kitty botox injector.

  5. edward says:

    As a woman myself, there’s no way in hell I would buy a skin meter. I can, uh, usually tell for myself whether my skin is too oily or not by just, you know, touching my face or looking in a mirror. Good God.

    • HannaLynn says:

      edward is a womans name god look at what ur saying u sound like an idiot i wouldnt buy this but u my u got some flaws to “woman”

  6. Triple7 says:

    Skin meter? What?

    The mind boggles. It doesn’t even need hello kitty attached to it to be boggling. It just….dang.

    A fool and his money are soon parted indeed.

  7. Kitteh!! says:

    And the comments so far are very revealing about the state of Darlene’s brain! As “Edward” says, you can guage the condition of your skin accurately using a mirror, the mk 1 eyeball, and a fingertip.
    For this object to have any functionality, it would need individually calibrating, and a fair sized instruction book to tell you how to interpret the resistance readings. At least I presume it only measures skin resistance, and not actual oil and water contents, luminiscity/reflectivity et al.

  8. Kitty says:

    Lets see if I lose my sight i can guage the state of my skin by touching it. if i end up horribly disabled by an accident and can’t use my fingers, then I think the state of my skin is the last thing to worry about.

    What i am saying is what the hell do I need a skin meter for? Darlene, i am very much a woman, and i am well aware I have skin issues through excess oil, i don’t need a piece of merchandised crap to tell me this.

    I am also aware that my attractiveness changes throughout the month due to excess hormones. However these hormones can be calmed by the use of a Dragons Breath Shotgun Cartirdge. i am also very willing to use it on you Darlene, who seems to completely fail to grasp this is a site about HATING Hello Frakkin Kitty.

    Yes I do have hormones today. Have also had a crap couple of weeks which has intensified my Possession by the Evility. The presence of Darlenee is now giving me something to vent at. Just wish i could also use expletives. Which I am surprised Sanrio haven’t tried to also Kittyfy swear words.

    Oh who to shoot first with a rain of burning magnesium, HK or Darlene? Choices choices.

  9. Acton says:

    Unlike MR. HKH I am not bothered with kittyfycation of a product except for I can understand he might be out of $25.00 for a gadget that doesn’t make any sense to me. I guess its a Japanese thing.

  10. danigirl says:

    That may be the stupidist thing I’ve ever seen, well that and the insane ramblings of Darlene, but this device is absolutley useless, even if it does have a clock on it. My mind reels at the pure idocrisy of such a gadget being in existence.

  11. ABW says:

    Pointless. Like I need a play by play everyday of my skin’s condition. As long as I don’t get skin cancer I’m fine.
    Still, I’m a HK fan and even though it’s stupid, I’d probably get it just because it has her on it :D

  12. n/a says:

    Hello Kitty Skin Meter says your ugly!

    hahahahahah

  13. edward says:

    @Kitteh!

    Agreed, though I could never have put it that way (English major here).

    I am a woman, but I got the nickname Edward awhile ago and have stuck with it ever since for kicks. It’s weird, I know.

  14. Magic Smoothie says:

    OMG you guise i think the fifteen pimples onmy face mean i must have oily skin but sould i get the HK skin meter to mak sure?????

  15. Miya-Chan says:

    It’s called a skin tester. It tells you how healthy your skin is (are you hydrated?). Some can measure the UV damage done to your skin, your temperature, etc. It’s supposed to be pretty popular in Asia.

  16. Kitteh!! says:

    @ “Edward”, the quotation marks were to make it clear that I was using your posting name as a title, and not as a boy’s name. I’m a science and engineering major, but know several diabetics, so know about the need to calibrate instruments, particularly medical instruments.

  17. lollicat says:

    hahahahahahaha!!!hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! hahahahahaha!!!
    OMG! it’s so…so..haha

  18. Jesse says:

    If… my girlfriend… ever finds out about this site or this abomination of a good idea. She will go into debt up to pigtails, sell her soul to Hello Kitty and become the first completely tattooed hello kitty human… the horror.

  19. christy says:

    hm… the japanese are pretty tech-savvy – you never know what else they will come up with next!

  20. Kitteh!! says:

    @Jesse, run, run now, run like the wind!! ;)

    @Christy, see my earlier comments. This isn’t tech-savvy, it’s tech-pointless, even without the HKification!

  21. flery says:

    i don’t care what any of you say, i want one!!

  22. Acton says:

    @Kitteh
    I have to disagree, The Japanese seem to be tech/gadget savvy another example is the Japanese high tech toilets.

  23. Kitty says:

    Flery, wrong place to say that honey

    *Ratchets the pump action shotgun*

    RUN!

  24. aguie says:

    why does darlene even post here? if she doesn’t like it, why does she read it?
    unless she has some sort of masochistic tendancies, which would explain her adoration of a cartoon cat that will never love her as much as she loves it.

  25. Magic Smoothie says:

    @aguie It’s called trolling. It’s fun.

    @Acton ;D Their toilets are awesome! They save water because women don’t run the taps to cover up the noise, and they even have built-in bidets and dryers!

  26. lol – i only want a hello kitty kalashnikov because of the massive amounts of irony involved.

    And – sorry to disappoint the twee brigade, but this is one woman who doesn’t run water to cover up the noise as she pees – nor do i know anyone else who does. Maybe if they were brought up in Australia where there are usually water shortages, they’d get over such immature behaviour.

    Are hello kitty fans more inhibited over bodily functions – being as their heroine has no genitals?

    as for the product in this blog post – lol – i think it can work in the same way one can use gadgets for pot plants to test humidity – it might be useful to decide whether to use moisturiser or not. (Yes, i’m guessing.) I suspect the clock function is like most of these gadgets – a clock is easy, so they put one in. It makes it ‘added value.’

    Of course, with pot plants, u can dig your finger into the soil, with your face you can touch it, flex your cheeks, and see what it feels like. So while ‘useful’ it’s also ‘pointless’ – but in a way designed to appeal to gadget addicts and hello kitty fans. She’s a cunning creature.

  27. Kitteh!! says:

    @Acton, I said that this device was “tech pointless”. That’s a comment about a specific device, rather than about the nation its creators are based in!

  28. @Sheila: I was talking about Japan. Women over there are pretty radically squeamish about bodily functions.

  29. Satan wears pink says:

    There is no point to this device other than the evil kitty wanting more more for useless crap.

    @Darlene- Just shut up!

  30. Jaime says:

    i agree with Acton. i think kittyfying something is great as long as it’s a product that is actually useful. i mean, i’m sure this skin thing is useful to someone somewhere. but i think this might be for a target market of hello kitty obsessed beauticians.

  31. leslie says:

    actually such a gadget does exist Ive seen some non hello kitty ones. whether they work or not , well, that’s another matter.

  32. aha – @ Magic Smoothie – yes, that would make sense

  33. andophiroxia says:

    Well it would be nice if it zapped zits or moisturizer when needed.

    Maybe it does inject some horrible plasma disease into your body.

  34. Elvee Kaye says:

    This is retarded! I swear, people are gullible idiots and will buy any old thing with the right marketing behind it. You know how you analyze your skin? It’s real simple. If it’s oily, you need to dry it out. If it’s too dry, you need a moisturizer. If you have zits, use a better cleanser and some zit cream. If you have acne, go see a doctor. There, I just saved all you Hello Kitty nutters $25.

  35. @andophiroxia: ;D Idea! A slightly larger skin thingy that you could fill with astringent/moisturizer and would expel one or the other based on the reading it got. THAT would actually be nifty.

  36. Kaitlyn says:

    Putting aside weather the thing works or not, this is just too much. I’ve been a Hello Kitty fan (Notice the FAN not FANATIC) for quite a while but.. this? I really can’t quite believe it. If it does work then I might consider it handy but the fact that it has hello kitty on it doesn’t make me want to buy it (Quite the opposite actually!). If it worked I might find it useful but even so… I doubt it works.

  37. Mckenzi says:

    Well, I guess it’s a pretty cute clock. But other, than that, completly useless.

  38. Hello Kitty says:

    every one should alwasy learn how to value a product, and making less junk.

  39. Em says:

    Oh my goodness. Arnt you the cutest thing ever? I love Hello Kitty and I think your site is adorable. (: It reminds me of my bestie who thinks the same way. Haha maybe you two can plot together or something. But this gadget is pretty ridiculous. Even for me. Lol

  40. carrie says:

    OMG DARLENE. :| WHY WOULD WE ALL ENJOY THIS BLOG FI HE DID NOT WRITE ON IT!?? IT IS DEDICATED TO HATING HELLO KITTY.I love hello kitty,but you are dumb as hell :|.

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