Hello Kitty Hell

My wife already has a Hello Kitty cell phone which has embarrassed me to no end, but in the land of Hello Kitty fanatics, extreme Hello Kitty gaudiness is never enough. Eventually someone will come along with a Hello Kitty cell phone that is gaudier than your own:

You knew that it would eventually have to happen. Having already Hello Kittified virtually every real gadget out there, the evil feline has decided that it’s necessary to take the next logical step in her plot to take over the world — invent random gadgets that make no sense at all, but which she knows [...]

What happens when you have a Hello Kitty fanatic that’s a techie who needs a graduation gift and a boyfriend too clueless to know that encouraging the Hello Kitty fanatic is worse than playing with radioactive material? You get something not very pretty like this Hello Kitty Lineman’s Handset:

Although I have suspected it for some time, I am now convinced that there is a special unit at Sanrio that makes Hello Kitty items with the sole purpose being to irritate the hell out of the significant others of Hello Kitty fanatics. In fact, it would not surprise me if they have it nicknamed [...]

Hello Kitty couldn’t leave hands free house clean-up with the Hello Kitty robomop and decided that they also needed to have a Hello Kitty Roomba:

While there are many things that trouble me in Hello Kitty Hell, whenever it has to do with my wife’s Hello Kitty cell phone I have no other choice but cringe. That’s exactly what I did when she discovered the Hello Kitty disposable solar cell phone charger:

One would assume that one Hello Kitty TV would be enough. Of course, that in no way dissuaded Sanrio form making another Hello Kitty TV. Or a third and fourth Hello Kitty TV as well. So, there really should be no surprise that there is a new Hello Kitty LCD TV that has recently been [...]

It’s really not like my wife needs to pimp out her cell phone in Hello Kitty anymore than it already is, but then that simple piece of logic never makes any sense to a Hello Kitty fanatic. Thus she has her eyes on a $462 (50,000 yen) 18k gold (1.8 grams) Hello Kitty phone strap [...]

When you live in Hello Kitty Hell, one of the worst sounds you can hear is the doorbell. That is because there is a 99% chance that whoever is ringing it is doing so with the intention of adding yet another piece to the ever growing mountain of Hello Kitty crap that has already found [...]

Kaleidoscopes are bad. Taking a kaleidoscope and making it into a projector so that you can beam the ever moving images on a wall or ceiling is worse — much worse. Taking the background of a kaleidoscope projector and filling it with Hello Kitty images to create the Hello Kitty kaleidoscope projector is nothing short [...]