Hello Kitty Face Carabiner Giveaway

If this is any indication of how this year is going to shape up, it’s going to be one Hello Kitty Hellish 365 days.

Now that we’re back in the US, my wife is dutifully trying to Hello Kittify our new place like in Japan. To keep my sanity, I try to take off each day to an Internet cafe to get work done. One would think that I would be safe now that I am not in the land of the evil feline, but that would be greatly underestimating Hello Kitty’s will to make my life hell.

I now know that I should never, ever check this blog in public. There were some notices in my email that a number of comments needed to be moderated, so I headed over to this blog to approve them. If I had only known what would happen next.

As the blog came up on the screen, the woman next to me must have glanced over to see it.

Woman: “Oh, I love that blog!”

Me: Instantly knowing this wasn’t going to be good when I looked to see a variety of Hello Kitty crap among her possessions. I forced a smile and remained silent hoping against hope that she would leave the conversation at that, ignoring the universal truth that if a person is a Hello Kitty fanatic, there is no shutting them up once the topic turns to Hello Kitty.

Woman: “I didn’t know guys like to look for Hello Kitty stuff too. Are you looking to get something for your wife? I love looking for new stuff there.”

Me: “Well, not exactly…” (thinking: “Seriously, this can’t be happening to me.”)

Woman: “Oh, you should buy your wife Hello Kitty jewelry. She’ll LOVE (repeated 3 times) IT! See, I have this necklace…” and the woman begins to go through and explain about all the Hello Kitty items she owns.

Me: (Thinking: “you have got to be kidding me…”) as I interrupt her, not really thinking what might happen because all I want to do is get this woman to stop talking about Hello Kitty. “Look, I am the guy that writes this blog, and…”

Woman” “OMG! OMG! OMG!”

Me: (Thinking: “oh crap, what have I just done?”)

Woman: Starts excitedly talking a million miles a minute so that nothing is comprehensible except for the final sentence which is, “your wife is my hero.” She then takes something out of her purse, hands it to me and says, “I want your wife to have this.”

Me: (Thinking: “this can’t be happening…) Thanks, but there is no need to do that.”

Woman: “No, I insist. I love your wife.”

Me: (Thinking: “under no circumstances should I ever let this woman and my wife meet if I want to keep my sanity…) “No, really, it’s not necessary…”

Woman: “Your wife will love it! You have to give it to her from me.”

Me: “Seriously, there is no need…”

Woman: Interrupting me mid sentence. “You have to promise to give it to her.”

Me: “Well…”

Woman: “There are no buts about it. It’s settled. You promise to give it to her, right?”

Me: “Seriously, she doesn’t need it. Have you ever read my blog? She has more…”

Woman: interrupts mid sentence again. “Oh, I LOVE (repeated 3 times again) your blog” and then goes into her undecipherable, mile a minute blabber about all the things she likes on the blog.”

Me: (wondering: “what is the worst of these two evils – having to listen to this woman blather for the next half hour about Hello Kitty or taking the thing for my wife and getting out of there asap.”) “Fine, fine,” I said grabbing the Hello Kitty face carabiner key chain and getting the hell out of there as quickly as I possibly could:

hello kitty carabiner face

So now I have this and there is no possible way I’m going to give it to my wife because if I do, she’ll insist on meeting this woman and that would certainly produce unimaginable ripples in the very fabric of life as we know it. So I will instead give it away.

The contest is simple and should give Hello Kitty fanatics a fun dilemma to try and overcome. Simply leave a comment in this post listing 3 or more reasons why you hate Hello Kitty. Any comment which has anything positive to say about Hello Kitty will be disqualified.

I will have a random number generated for the comments that qualify left below. The person’s comment that matches the number will receive the Hello Kitty face carabiner.

The contest starts now and will end at 11:59 pm eastern (10:59 pm central, 9:59 pm mountain and 8:59 pm pacific) on Tuesday January 12th. Open to anyone living anywhere in the world including my wife (oh, how I would love to see her list three reasons she hates Hello Kitty).

Update: There were 181 entries in this contest and the random number came out 20 – contragatualtions to Yasmin for being the winner:

random number keychain

191 thoughts on “Hello Kitty Face Carabiner Giveaway

  1. OMG what a nightmare!! Wonder which mental institution she had ran away from..
    I promised myself I wouldnt try to win anything with Hello Kitty. But mi baby sisters birthday is coming up, naturally she loves the feline and drives me insane with her. So why not..

    Three things I hate baout her:
    1. She’s bloody everywhere!
    2. Every poor kid over here has something with ehr on, and I have to see that every day at work..
    3. She’s trying to get face/paws on my fav designers bags. Which I didnt know until you brought that to my attention..thanks =)

    Good luck with keeping those two apart

  2. 1.- Talking anthropomorphic animals freak me out.
    2.- It looks like it’s giving me the finger.
    3.- It’s starting to infect my girlfriend.

  3. 1) she’s top heavy but never falls over
    2) she’s a damn 2 dimensional cat who has taken over the lives of people everywhere, including those who are allergic
    3) she’s a cartoon for little girls, and somehow became a world-wide vibrator-selling, tattoo-inducing, cutsey machine-guns-that-make-you-want-to-vomit-to-death making, bad influence on us all.

  4. 1. HK is over priced.
    2. Grown men like HK. I.e. Yoshiki of X-Japan (Don’t know if this is fact or a marketing ploy though…)
    3. My son can recognize her from a mile away and prefers to sleep with a Build-A-Bear HK without the bow. Basically, Dear Daniel.

    LOL…. forget it. I give up. These are more like minor annoyances then true hate. Oh well. :(

  5. 1. The Sanrio store in New York now has a Luxe section that’s reserved for actually expensive items. That is messed up.
    2. Why is there so much HK crap? I kind of understand what you would use a carabiner for, but there’s just no damn reason for a moped.
    3. I feel like HK ate Asia. I like stationery, but every friend that travels to Asia, brings me back something in a heinous pastel with a floating, anthropomorphic face.

    (This was easy for me, because I actually don’t like HK. I just have a friend with a birthday coming up.)

  6. 1. It’s EVERYWHERE. I can’t enter a single store without seeing it somewhere.
    2. It wears those sugar sweet clothes that can’t possibly fit over its ENORMOUS head.
    3. The only difference between it and its relatives is the presence and place of the bow. Yeah, we are all unique because of the way we wear bows.

  7. 1. My mom thinks all little girls loves HK–>There goes my childhood. Imagine dressing in HK, being seen.
    2. I hate pastel pink–>I heard that color retard mental development
    3. That suppose-to-be-female cat character has no mouth. Not having a mouth goes against everything the female sex is.
    4. Darlene comments always makes me want to hit someone.
    5. Sanrio can come up with a product once in a while even when you hate HK, you have have to buy it and the guilt is over whelming.

  8. Reason number one, So many people worship her! Why do you like her so much? She’s a cat/cartoon, wheres the appeal??

    #2 If only i could name all the things i hate about her… She has a (mouthless) huge head, she’s not even cute, she has big black eyes and a yellow nose… what’s so cute about that?

    #3 the person who thought her up and introduced her to the world should have to suffer a long painful aggonizing lonely tortureous death for the mysery we go through having to see her!

  9. 1. Every time we pass something in a store with Hello Kitty on it, my girlfriend wants to buy it, even if it’s a totally useless item.
    2. She once tried to dress our cat up like Hello Kitty. The cat didn’t like it either.
    3. People have Hello Kitty themed weddings.

  10. 1. She turns would-be sexy women into pouty, cutesy abominations.
    2. She’s an indiscriminate sell-out.
    3. She (Sanrio) stunts the development of countless Asian women, trapping them in the mindset of a five year old.

  11. 1. cause hk-lovers insist making everything in the world possible hello kitty-ifyed. they would, if they could.
    2. to the point where it will consume and take over male parts of life because we want you, significant other, to buy hello kitty things as well! where it is very un-welcomed, unwanted, and no… it’s not cute.
    3. cause it’s just a white cartoon cat, and it’s f*cking expensive! just because it’s a cat! and ‘cute!’ and make girls go crazy and lose their mind!

  12. I have no interest in a damn keychain, I just wanted to say how funny reading the comments on this post have been and also how amazed I am that there are actually people who read this blog and then encounter the writer in public and think he wants to listen to them blabbering on inanely about their stupid obsession. Maybe they are actually illiterate and only look at the pictures?

  13. 1. Hello Kitty is the root of all evil.
    2. Hello Kitty is the root of all evil.
    3. Hello Kitty is the root of all evil.

  14. 1. There is literally everything in the world with her face on it
    2. she is def the diva of the sanrio family
    3. im addicted to her and spend copious amounts of money on these items, shes like crack!

  15. 1. I hate Hello Kitty because she has no mouth.

    2. I hate Hello Kitty because she is pimped out for everything. Toilet paper? Urinial targets? Give me a break.

    3. I hate Hello Kitty because all her crap is usually over-priced &/or out of stock. Yes, I also live on the fringe of Kitty Hell with three granddaughters.

  16. LOL
    1) I think that Hello kitty items cost to much.

    2) Why pink all the time ?

    3) Why if you are the age of 35 or older if you are seen with a bag or anything Hello Kitty you are laughed at or looked at as you have lost your mind

  17. 1.) She costs me more money than I have.
    2.) She causes me to go a little nutty, specifically when I see something I’d like to buy but cannot due to financial issues and just an over-abundance of Hello Kitty products at home.
    3.) She causes me to be made fun of endlessly by my friends.

    (Not that I really care about any of these things.)

  18. 1 . She’s a cat and I’m alelergic to them 2 . She’s too cute and she doesn’t even have to do anything 3. Last but not least she had me at hello

  19. wait… if we hate hello kitty… why do you want to give them the damn carbiner? … tell the hello kitty enthusiat that it can hold their weight and wait for them to go rock climbing..?
    !. Hello kitty stole my Idol…. Mano Erina is part of the hello kitty show.. DAMN YOU!!!
    2. Hello kitty is creepy because she has no mouth
    3. Hello Kitty is telling your kids it is ok to be gay …

  20. 1.Beastiality (Obvious bloodline)
    2. Sodomy (Women will submit for trinkets!)
    3. Nippononecrokittenophilia ( encourages sex with dead Jananese kittens)

  21. I love this contest….
    Three reasons I hate hello kitty
    1) because everyone thinks that my screen name- hellosam- is because of this kitten. Even you, sir (re:twitter)! It is not! Its for many other reasons.
    2) because i cant help but feel like that arm in the air is mocking my german heritage and trying to make me feel guilty for hitler.
    3) because underneath it all, i do love her, and that makes me hate her even more

  22. I don’t know about anybody else, but I entered so that if I win the carabiner, I can give it to my rock-climbing roommate and break his brain in revenge for his never doing the dishes.

  23. HK is evil because:
    1.She is on everything, and causes people of all ages to spend their hard-earned money on junk that is usually a) useless, or b) doesn’t work.
    Back when I tolerated the feline to a slightly higher extent, my dad bought me an alarmclock of it. It was damaged, so it could not tell time, but would glow. In a satanic red light.
    2. At Capital Ex (summertime event), the game prizes for some of the booths often included a plush version of the feline. Made out of shitty fabric and had stuffing that felt weird when said plush was squeezed. Felt disgusting, and unsanitary at the same time.

  24. 1. She is head of an evil, uber-capitalist, possibly fascist corporation of some sort.
    2. Last time I saw her, I was in a bathtub full of ice and she was holding 19th century surgical instruments.
    3. She never bathes and you can smell her from a mile away.

  25. Why on Earth would anyone want to enter this contest? WHY would anyone who reads this blog ever WANT this [EXPLETIVE DELETED FOR PURPOSES OF BEING POLITE] ?!?!

    Seriously, sometimes I wonder what our world has come to when you log on to a Hell Kitty HATING blog, and you find people who actually want all of this [EXPLETIVE HERE].

    To the author of the blog, my deepest condolences. Enjoy your non-Hello Kittified house while you can.

  26. lmao, poor you.

    ur life is so funny. XD

    sorry if that offended u. but i wish my life is like that.

    although this ended but..

    1. It’s pink.
    2. It has no hair. just fur and it’s only 2 inches
    3. It has no pride!

  27. 1. Parents think she is a good role model but she doesn’t even speak or have a mouth.
    2. She has become a sex symbol then what she was never intended to be.
    3. She is branding guns!

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