Hello Kitty Eggshell Membrane Oil

The mere fact that I not only know what this is and what it is used for should make me want to end my life. Unforetunatley, the pain doesn’t end there. My wife has actually tried to put Hello Kitty eggshell membrane oil on my face (see, your life doesn’t seem all that bad at the moment, does it?) which is positive proof that I live in Hello Kitty Hell:

hello kitty eggshell membrane oil

While my wife insists that this will help beautify your skin, I put it forth as proof that the employees at Sanrio have an ongoing bet that they can put the evil feline on anything and that Hello Kitty fanatics will buy it. I have no doubt that a typical morning meeting in the Hello Kitty new product development division goes something like this:

team member 1: “We need to think up a new Hello Kitty product to sell.”

team member 2: “We have already put Hello Kitty on everything that exists. There is nothing more.”

team member 1: “Hmmm, OK, let’s just make some crap up and and put Hello Kitty on it.”

team member 2: “Like what? Something like Hello Kitty eggshell membrane oil?”

new team member: “Nobody will ever buy something as stupid as that…:

team manager: “You must be new to this team…”

all team members: (shaking their heads with bemusement as they snicker under their breath)

team member 1: “Yes! We will say that it helps beautify your skin. The Hello Kitty fanatics will love it!”

They then go on to sell millions and repeat the same process each and everyday. In fact, I bet now they just make up the most ridiculous thing that they can think of in hopes that they can prove this formula wrong, but still haven’t managed to come close to finding something that fanatics won’t actually buy. I should know — it all ends up in my house to ensure that I continue to live in Hello Kitty Hell…

Left by @sylphanne (via @RachelTrue on Twitter) who both should actually have to use that crap on their skin as punishment for owning / thinking that sending it to me could ever be a good idea…

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21 Responses to Hello Kitty Eggshell Membrane Oil

  1. Enecko says:

    I do what my skin beautiful like Helly Kitty’s :D

  2. darlene says:

    You probably know as much about beauty products as you do about Hello Kitty. Absolutely nothing!!! Hello Kitty wants all women to look beautiful and feel lovely and that is why she makes products which help them to be more beautiful. You probably don’t appreciate this because you know nothing about how women feel about their looks. Typical man.

    The best beauty products often come from unusual places and you if you dismiss them because they sound strange, it proves you are an idiot when it comes to beauty. We already know that it is true about your knowledge of Hello Kitty.

    I hope that the people at Sanrio take down this blog for you saying those slanderous things about them. I’m sure that a court would find you liable for malicious slander against Hello Kitty too. I can’t wait until you have to face the music for all the lies that you tell and Hello Kitty proves to the world that everything you have said is a lie.

  3. @RachelTrue says:

    i knew posting it to twitter would be so much more fruitful than to simply google it myself. thank you, most kind kittyhell. ps. picked it up in a LA pan Asian downtown market because it hypnotized me.

  4. Darlene I hope you’re not serious. I LOVE Hello Kitty!! I am a fanatic and aspire to be like the bloggers wife in every way :D
    Sanrio would never, I feel, take down this blog. This blog does more to spread information about Hello Kitty to people who love Hello Kitty than any other site I have found! It’s fun too. :P I think the blogger actually LOVES Hello Kitty too. It’s all in fun hon so don’t take it all too seriously except for being a Hello Kitty fanatic because that’s way serious! Hello Kitty Forever!!! :)

  5. SHEENA says:

    Wow that’s different.

  6. kitteh!! says:

    Darlene, learn some law before commenting again. You’re making yourself look stupid as well as dilusional right now. Slander relates to the spoken word, so a blogger libels people, rather than slandering them. Fictional characters can’t sue, and it’s highly unlikely that Sanrio would want to close down a satirical site that generates publicity for them. Even if they did, they’d start with a “cease and desist” letter, rather than moving straight to a libel action against a private individual, not least because you have to prove (ok, balance of probabilities, not beyond reasonable doubt but even so) damage to your reputation etc in order to get compensatory or punative damages.

  7. kitteh!! says:

    Can anyone tell me what “eggshell membrane oil” actually is, and what the aledged benefits of it are?

  8. Sanriobaby =^.^= says:

    First of all, what the hell is eggshell membrane oil b/c that sounds gross. Second, women all over the world are prone to put all kinds of stuff on thier face for the sake of beauty and youth. For example, there is a facial treatment that involves using dried nightingale poop that’s suppose to promote antiaging properties or something. And three, who the hell actually listens to darlene anyway? Her delusional views are funny and no one should EVER take them seriously. But in this case, kitteh!! made an excellent point in correcting darlene. Well done!

  9. kitteh!! says:

    Ok, I Googled eggshell membrane oil, and got 2 main types of results:-
    1) Serious scientific articles about its use in making capsule and tablet medications easier to swallow.
    2) Codswallop about it having applications in reducing skin pore size. Even if this is true, do you actually have pores that are visible to the naked eye?

  10. Lisey says:

    Eurgh. I quite like HK, but eggshell membrane oil is fucking gross no matter what branding it has. Even ducks and chickens WASH THE SODDING STUFF OFF asap when they hatch!

  11. Liz says:

    The heck is eggshell membrane oil?? I’ve never ever heard of it.

  12. darlene 17 says:

    You all must be ugly for making such comments. Hello Kitty wants us to have beautiful skin and you are just jealous that you can’t join because of your hate for her. She invented this oil specially for her fans so don’t make up slander. You are enraged that Hello Kitty has granted us beauty.

  13. caryn says:

    I googled and got the same results as kitteh! with additional info that one can purchase blotting paper to remove it.

    You can just pull the stuff out of the egg shell and spread it on your face while you’re waiting for your morning egg to cook.

  14. Lisey says:

    Hmm maybe I’m ugly but at least I don’t stink from being smeared with egg :P

  15. Caroline says:

    what is this i don’t even

  16. Olive says:

    I own this product actually, I can’t remember where I bought it though. It’s just blotting paper, you use it when your skin is oily to absorb the oil.

  17. Sanriobaby =^.^= says:

    Thanks Olive for finally clarifying the mystery of this particular Sanrio product. Now that I know it’s just blotting paper, I want it, lol!

  18. Miss Muffin says:

    Does Darlene realise that Hello Kitty isn’t actually real and so can’t have an opinion or agenda relating to women’s beauty??

  19. darlene 16 says:

    Does Miss Muffin realize that Darlene isn’t real and merely the figment of a bored college student’s imagination??

  20. Miggs says:

    I am coming into this blog really late. Anywhoo, I feel for you. I would not wish anything Hello Kitty upon my beastman husband, unless its zombie repellant.

  21. Becca says:

    Lmao Darlene that’s just creepy. I like hello kitty but i don’t believe ‘she’s’ real nor that people who aren’t fans should be taken to court. Congrats for making me laugh at the sheer bizarreness of your post.

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